11-30-15
Over this past weekend my 9 year old, Dax, got to
participate in his very first Turkey Tournament. This kid lives and breathes
soccer, practicing every free second he has so it was truly a weekend of
awesome for him. Imagine the excitement when he managed to tie up the score in their
last game with a headed ball into the goal from a corner kick. It was a
beautiful play and it was hard to not cry as he ran back to set up for the
kickoff, hands in the air in victory. Yet there was something that certainly
marred the moment.
You see, earlier in the tournament, I heard that a team was reprimanded
for being too excited at the end of their match. Their cheers for a job well
done were considered in poor taste. I worried that my child, proud of his
accomplishment, would be scolded for his reaction to his amazing goal.
Sportsmanship is a big deal, especially in youth sports. You
don’t want kids pitching a fit if they lose and you don’t want anyone to rub it
in if they win. We encourage teams to pull their best players when the score is
heavily lopsided and we do our best to make sure teams are balanced in their
roster so as not to stack one team over others. However, games will ultimately
end in one winner and one loser at the end of the match.
As much as I appreciate the reminder to our kids that winning
isn’t everything, it would be harmful in their development as people to tell
them it doesn’t mean anything. In addition to this, these are kids that worked
hard to achieve a win and let’s face it; they should be able to celebrate.
I am firmly against taunting the other team after a win. I
like that I watched teams after each match come and clap for our side after
they won. These are still things that should take place, making sure the kids
are good winners and good losers. But taking away a basic human right to be
pleased with results isn’t right. Some of these games are such an amazing
battle back and forth, it is reasonable that their emotions get the best of
them in an after game shriek of triumph.
The oversaturation of participation awards for kids when
they do any activities has truly changed the landscape of how kids are able to
cope with failure. They don’t have proper frame of reference on disappointment if
their team comes in last place yet they still all get the same trophy as the
first place team. These are games in which there is a score and a hopeful
outcome. If the team doesn’t do well, it would make more sense to then coach
them on how to do better rather than simply sugar-coating it with awards.
I know Dax will be playing soccer for a long time. I know
that as he ages, he will be less enthusiastic with each goal he scores. I am
just hoping to hold on to that look of pure joy that he gets now for as long as
I possibly can without him feeling bad for showing it to the world. It would be
great if others were on board with this, too.
