School pics make me happy

10-29-10

I am shockingly awake. I guess I got some sleep. Woo hoo!

Yesterday when I picked up Bobby, I was greeted with a happy making envelope. School pictures!!!! I recognize that I am weird, but seriously, it was like a mini Christmas for me. I even went over and got Dax’s so that I had both sets in my possession.

 

They are about at stereotypical class photos as they come. This makes them so much better. I scanned them in and off course distributed them to the masses.

The rest of my afternoon was pretty basic. Bobby and I stopped at the house in which a distraught man shot himself. This was the source of the helicopters earlier this week. Turns out, this man was upset over the death of his father. He got drunk, shot off some guns, cops came, he barricaded himself until they tear gassed the hell out of his house and he shot himself in the chest. All very sad. I spoke to his daughter. The cops really did a number on the house. The guy was a bit of a pack rat and the family was now cleaning out the house and selling everything. Bobby and I didn’t stay too long. We sent Ken back later. The man’s sister showed up while Ken was there and she was pretty hysterical upset. Not fun.

I made a dinner worthy of a parents magazine. We are lacking in provisions since we need to get to the store. All I had was some hamburger and bread. So I grilled up burgers and put them on the bread. I then used my dino sandwich cutter and made dino burgers. The boys were pleased. I was proud.

I was showering the boys and didn’t notice my own Bumpuses hounds running through the house until the blonde one snagged a burger off the counter. The door to the yard in our bedroom was not closed all the way, and my dogs thought it would be ok to let themselves in.

I get Tito’s tonight. I am very excited.

I need to work on some accounts this morning, so I will cut this short.

Mummies are just Fancy Zombies

10-28-10




I didn’t blog yesterday since it was crazy all day. Plus, I had a hot mask on. LOL!



I dressed up, and my costume was awesome. I did not win. The politics of this place only gave prizes to whole departments who dressed up. Trust me when I say I was pretty upset. But I will live. It wasn’t winning, it was the fact that they don’t encourage you if you are an individual.



One girl was a Facebook Status Update, which was hysterical.



I am tired today, what a shock. Not as much as yesterday, though.



My work is now questioning whether or not I can come in early. Yes, it took 2 fucking months for them to see it, but whatever. I told them I would be leaving at 1:45, so they have to deal with when I come in. There is some ancient rule in which you cannot be working in the building before 6 without a manager. I pointed out there are people in the building and that I don’t even open up, and when I do, all the management seems cool with me having a key and an alarm code. So we will see. I have a feeling I will win, but who knows. These are the same folks who took away our coffee.



I feel cranky today. I told Ken yesterday that I need his help with the house. I worry that although he will change for the short term, that it will be the same pattern in which he does good on helping in the beginning and then has the decline until I yell again.



Ken gets to carve a pumpkin in Bobby’s class today. I am jealous.



Parent/teacher conference scheduled. Nov 18th, which is cool since Dax has some Thanksgiving feast that morning. I can do both. I am now concerned since it is minimum days that whole week, which means we have to figure out who will be getting Bobby.



The boys and Ken have Thanksgiving week off. Not sure what they will all do that week.



I have decided that Thanksgiving will be adventure day. We will be pilgrims and discover some new place.



We need to get a pumpkin.



I want to build some kind of box around the little pans. I am tired of Luna helping herself to the Kitty Roca. Ken thinks it will keep us from cleaning the pans. I think that since it is now a To Do List item, that he can’t neglect it. So this is my plan for this weekend.



I can’t vote for either candidate for Governor, so I have to figure out which non major party person is the least offensive. I just hate both Jerry Brown and Meg Whitman so much!



There is enormous hate for this freelance writer who wrote a pretty hateful piece on fat people on tv. The net is a sea of pissed off folks. Her “sorry” post wasn’t much, and I read a post on Single Dad Laughing about how she shouldn’t be hated. I agree with his assessment, but I still find that she is a pretty ignorant chick. It is a shame that there are still folks out there that think things like losing weight is easy. Of course, I also understand how she can come to this conclusion. Just as there are gobs of people on magazines that tell the tales of losing 100 pounds with just sticking to a proper diet, we all know someone that ended up doing the deed and got themselves back to healthy. It seems like it should be easy, and in many ways, it is. I just would hope that she would understand that there is more to it than just over eating.



But I also understand what it is like to be out the outside looking in on a problem. We have all uttered these phrases to a friend or colleague: “Just dump him!” “Complain to HR!” “Just save $100 from each paycheck” “You just need to stop letting them use you.”



Seriously, if all of the problems of the world are easy enough to be solved with one simple phrase, don’t you think that we would have smaller self help sections in the bookstore and Dr. Oz and Ceasar Milan wouldn’t have a show?



I don’t want to get into right now, but I feel like I could have a huge piece on all of this.



My head hurts. I think I need to take something.

I bitch a little

10-26-10




No fair! My reports didn’t run which means that they will not run until tonight which means I am stuck doing reports tomorrow which sucks since tomorrow is Halloween day at work. I know I will be dressed as a wolf tomorrow, but I really didn’t want to actually growl at everyone. I wanted to have fun, wandering the buildings, checking out the other costumes and holiday fun. Oh well. It will be interesting doing Excel in a giant mask and jammies.



I will just come out and say it. I wish I had an assistant. Not for work, mind you. For home. I want to be able to tell someone to do my laundry or to clean up the playroom. Right now, it really is no wonder why I have been sick. I am on the move from 4:30 to 9:30 every day. Yes, that is 4:30 AM and 9:30 PM. I work all day, then rush to get Bobby. Homework time, which even though is incredibly easy in my eyes, writing letters and coloring in the lines is still a bit of a challenge to a 5 year old, if only for distractions like cats or let’s face it, air.



After homework, it is time to get Dax, at which point if he has any homework, it is time for him to work on his. But mostly with Dax, it is getting through the hour of whine. He whines about something to drink. He whines about something to eat. He whines about whining. I am thinking that perhaps his hour of whine should be my hour of wine.



I then work on some chores as best I can. Yesterday consisted of playroom clean up, laundry (that I did not finish), living room clean up, trash removal, pan scooping and minor paperwork.



Once I am done with that, I have dinner to cook. I like cooking, actually, mostly because I feel like I made something out of nothing. It is most happy making when not only does Ken like the food, but when the boys love it and even ask for seconds. Keep in mind this only happens maybe once a week.



I have to admit, it is after dinner that I get lazy, but it doesn’t change the guilt I have. I will toss the boys into the tub or as in the case of last night, we went out back to let them run out some energy and clean up for the gardeners. We also play with the dogs so that they don’t feel neglected. It is also an excellent time to assess the mental and physical health of both of the canine units. Lycos got rolled last night when she ran under the swing as the boys were flying back and forth. In all fairness, it was our fault since we did throw the ball under there. After the incident, Lycos was clearly a little spooked about running more than a few feet to retrieve a toy.



Luna on the other hand will amaze us when she actually listens and responds appropriately to certain phrases, and then dumbfound us when she does some of the absolute most retarded things. Thank goodness she is such a sweetie.



Bedtime is always a chore, too, since it requires constant supervision to make sure the boys don’t do their favorite pastime, which is dinking. They are world class dinkers. They can dink with the best of them.



After the final show, the final cup of milk, it is time to feed pups, put away the table and brush teeth. Once again, each of these can be a production. If I am lucky, only one of these tasks is chaotic. On most nights at least 2 are a pain in the ass.



Story time last night was awesome. The reading selections lately have been a book from Dax’s classroom and a book from Bobby’s classroom. The ones last night were a lot of fun with lots of interaction from all of us, which is really cool.



You would think that closing the door after bidding them a goodnight would mean no more kid stuff for the night, right? Not even a little bit. Each will come out and linger in the hallway until we address them. Then they will stand in the doorway of the living room and state their issue. Bobby will complain. He will say he is thirsty or hungry or that he feels sick. He will always have to pee, which we keep explaining to him doesn’t require our attention.



Dax, on the other hand, will come out and say, “I have one more question…” These are never questions. They used to be. Everything from “Are we going bowling tomorrow” to “Why do we have two dogs?” Now, they consist of random statements. “Bobby said he is going to listen to Mrs. Fasheh.” Cool, thanks kid, I needed to know that.



They take turns in their nightly visits. Some nights I have more patience. Last night, I had very little. At one point, Bobby came out, doing his little charming smile and I said before he could say anything, “Did your arm fall off?” He shook his head. “Did your leg fall off?” He shook his head, the smile fading from his face. “Are you bleeding in some way?” Again, a shake of the head and what looked like the realization that this would end badly. “Then go back to bed” I barked. He scuffled off without objection.



Finally at one point, seconds after Dax had been sent back to bed and watching on the screen we could see Bobby scurrying down the ladder to come out, I went in the room.



“Bed! Bed! Bed! Bed!” I shouted. Both boys burst into tears. Dax said I scared him. Bobby tearfully responded with, “I just have to pee!” Sigh. Bobby went pee and I told them both to get some sleep. I felt bad being so mean, but man, they have got to stop this cycle.



I watched tv with Ken. I like hanging out with him, but lately I have been so dang tired, all I really wanted to do was sleep. I managed to stay up until 8:30 or so. Then it was time to get to bed. I was in bed, and ready to sleep by about 9.



I didn’t sleep well. It was the first night in 4 nights in which I did not medicate. I think I will resort back to some kind of meds for tonight. Until I kick this cold completely I want as much help as possible in the rest department. Besides, some bad guy decided to make out neighborhood his haven at about 2 this morning. Helicopters circled and circled, making sleep very difficult. Plus, I am pretty sure I heard Ken let a cat inside the house, which confused me, and Dax came in requesting help with his blankets. I am very sleepy today.



I maintain that if I had some kind of assistant, I could have had them do the play room clean up. I could of also had them finish the laundry I started. I would of also had them do the bathroom and other cleaning just to get it all done. It would have taken away some of my guilt of sitting on my ass part of the night.



My chest has been hurting since last night. Not like a heart attack pain. More like I have been coughing too much. Plus, it feels like peanut butter stuck in my chest between my boobs and my throat. Not really in the heart region. Much higher. Either way, it isn’t fun.



I just looked and it appears that the boys have no school the whole week of Thanksgiving. What happened to the good old days of just the 4 days off?? Seriously, school is really anti working parents.



I never thought I would say this, but honestly, if I could, I would not work anymore. I think if I won the lottery or if Ken’s business took off and could support us, I would be a stay at home mommy. True dat. I am not embarrassed about it, either. I know where my priorities lie now. I feel all proud that yes, I have been working since I was like 11. I got my catalog in the mail yesterday from work for my 10 year recognition prize. Yes, I have been here 10 years on November 10th. What the hell??



I just think that I would be shockingly happy to be the person getting the boys off to school. I could also keep the house sparkling. I could learn to do cool baking projects, I could be involved at the school. I would totally volunteer all the time in both classrooms. I could do fundraising door to door. I could collect cans and get money for the school.



I don’t even want to just sit on my ass and eat bons bons. I just want to work on projects that make me happy. Work is no longer challenging. Don’t get me wrong, there are still aspects I love. But I am feeling rather disenchanted ever since the boss barely listened to my proposal. I am doing work that I don’t get recognized for. I should not have this much time to write a blog. This means that the work I do is easy enough for me that I can slam through it way quick. The problem is, I don’t want to change jobs right now since I am in a cushy position so that I can come in at a good time and get home in time to get my kid. I can’t even rock the boat!



I realize this is the same old song. I am not proud at how often I sing it.



Off topic, I have several Build A Bears I need to make for some people.



They took away our good coffee at work. I am sad now.

I can breathe!!

10-25-10




It was a long weekend. It probably helped that I had most of Friday off.



Dax’s class meeting was quick. It took all of 30 minutes. But I am glad I went. I adore the crap out of his teacher, and she loves Dax. She told us what they were working on right now, and as she listed things they need to be able to do, I noted that Dax already knows all of these things. She is working on counting. He can count to 29 with no problem. Know the alphabet. He knows it. He even knows the colors (and has for some time) that mess with people like black, brown and white. Even gray! My kid is too smart. LOL!



I went home after and did laundry. Lots and lots of laundry. This included me being able to sit on my ass a good chunk of time. I even attempted to nap since I was still sickly.



I drove to get Bobby. All day I had been coughing so much that at one point I almost threw up and almost peed myself a bit. It was bad. I didn’t think walking up there was a good plan.



I got Mr. Bobby and he and I went and got some raffle tickets for the Halloween Carnival that night. The way they had it set up was boxes for each of the prizes. You could put your tickets towards the prize you wanted. They had tickets to Lakers, Disneyland, and gift cards for various restaurants. They had a guitar, a bike, a giant dollhouse, and other various baskets full of things. I told Bobby to choose what he liked and put it in the box he liked. I figured I didn’t really care, and it was for him. He put a few in one for this fancy watch. He put in one for the new guitar, and some in for this basket that was baby stuff including a handmade knit blanket and some books and a bear.



We got home and got Dax and the two of them got ready. It is cute seeing them in their costumes, all jazzed for the outing.



We walked up to the school, very slowly. I was not about to cough up a lung. It was nice, actually. I watched Bobby walk with his hands behind his back, which he explained was how General Grievous actually walks. We stopped and looked at random bugs and a cool mushroom ring. It was a really fun walk.



We got to the school early, but I am glad we did. It meant we could say hello to both the boys’ teachers without worrying about other kids wanting to do the same. Ms. Lira showed off Dax to this one gentleman (I think it was her fella, who was a sweetie) and introduced Dax as “Her Dax”. He then said, “Oh! This is the one you were talking about!” So that was way cool. She even later had him take a picture with her and Dax. Super cute.



Mrs. Fasheh was happy to see us and was super nice. It was cool! We played the games, which were like 4 really lame ones, but the boys did not care since they got a piece of candy with each play. They were excited when they saw classmates and were way jazzed in general.



Every grownup loved Dax’s Mickey Mouse costume and every kid loved Bobby’s Grievous. You could see parents gushing on how cute Dax was and kids in other Star Wars costumes oooh and awww in respect for Bobby’s choice. I was proud.



We got some grub and I chatted it up with one of the other students who sat near us. He and I were noting the amazing number of bees there were for costumes. Very polite kid, and I found myself very pleased with many of the kids I talked to there.



Ken showed up much earlier than we thought he would, so that was awesome! We bought more raffle tickets and the boys placed more tickets in the various boxes. We then sat and listed to see if we would win anything.



Bobby’s name was called. Woo hoo! Bobby ran up since Ken was already up there while Dax and I stayed sitting in the auditorium. The basket was the baby goodies. Both Ms. Lira and Mrs. Fasheh promptly asked Ken if he and I were expecting. LOL!! They were both super amused when we explained that this was the basket he chose.



Dax’s name was also called. He won a bucket full of cleaning supplies. No joke. Sponges, Lysol, Scrubbing Bubbles. Actually, it was an awesome set of stuff, but not so much for a 4 year old. They didn’t care. They both won.



They had a costume parade which was so cute to watch. Ken had taken them out to the yard for this, and I came once Ken texted me. He had wanted me to come so that each boy had a parent. But Dax didn’t need anyone. He ran off to his class with a simple bye to Ken and he marched with pride. Bobby, not as brave, but he did great. I got to chat it up with parents from Bobby’s class, and we all agreed that we like the teacher’s strict nature since she also seems to adore the kids. I am shocked at how at ease I have been talking to these parents!



Other teachers are now recognizing us since we have been around the school a bit, so I am really excited about this school. I was pissed that the principal was not there, but I have not been super impressed with her yet. But the teachers and other aides there have been totally sweet.



After the school, we went over to the Disney store for what I had hoped would be freebies for the kids. Unfortunately, it wasn’t an ongoing event. It had started at 6 prompt, and ended by 6:30. We got there maybe 10 minutes after that. Such a shame. Oh well.



We got home where Ken had to work on Lego for the Saturday tournament. I stayed up with him, and even helped some. I had taken my meds so that I could sleep well. I had NyQuil and a dose of the liquid vicodin that was Dax’s. I was loopy by the time I hit the sack, but man, I was out. I had also put some Vicks on my nose and got some better cough drops. I was in a coma until 9. It was awesome. I woke up, still a little loopy, but feeling so much better. I could breathe, I wasn’t coughing as much and I was ready for a day!



Bobby’s soccer game was fun. We had picked up some pom poms, which I think confused my team more than amused them. I think the boys, aside from Bobby, just don’t get how excited we are to cheer for our team. The other parents don’t cheer as much, so maybe that is why.



Bobby did great. He was much better and was getting to the ball. He even almost scored twice! Our team was beaten pretty easily, but no one really cares. They all had fun, which was awesome. I love watching the games, even when he is goofing around on the field. It makes me way happy.



We went by my parents’ house briefly to do a quick tutorial on my Blackberry that I am loaning my mom. Plus, we were picking up a new tooth fairy dish.



Bobby’s bottom front tooth is loose! YAY! He is growing up! Dr. Weston had said it would be soon. When Bobby told us on Friday, we of course realized that we should get to work on tooth fairy stuff.



When I was growing up, my parents had this little crystal dish in the shape of a spade. When we lost a tooth, we would put it in there, and the next morning we would have a penny, a nickel, a dime and a quarter. It was cool! Oh, and always a pack of gum. Well, I love the idea of a dish since it means we don’t have to worry about losing a tooth under his pillow. My mom then tells us at the game that she had the perfect dish.



She was underselling it because holy crap, this thing rules.



It is this little goblin guy who is holding open his mouth full of teeth. He is freaking awesome. The boys love him. We will not have a tooth fairy in our house. We will have a tooth goblin. .



Now, we have to figure out the best reward. Man, after polling the Facebook folks, I was shocked at how much kids get. I think that since Bobby is only 5, and really doesn’t get money, we will not go crazy on gobs of cash. However, we will present him with a certificate welcoming him to the Tooth Goblin’s route for his first tooth, and present him with a gold dollar since those are cool looking. Then we can take a trip to the Dollar Tree. I don’t think this tradition should be about the money so much as it should be about the fun.



We stopped at McDonald’s on the way home and let the boys run and play for an hour or so. It is a nice time had by all since we can zone out a bit. Plus, who doesn’t like McDonald’s fries?



I drugged out again Saturday night. This allowed me sleep until 8:30. I woke up with no Ken next to me, so I assumed that he had gotten up to play with the boys while I slept.



Not exactly.



Turns out the boys had gone into the closet and thrashed his Talisman game so Ken was in the playroom with them cleaning up the mess. Sorry, babe!



Sunday was the most mellow day ever. Ken made us all pancakes and they were fantastic. It allowed us all to be in a bit of a food coma all day. The boys played and played and played. Seriously, these two were out back, inside, out front, chatting it up with our neighbor and just running the whole time.



We managed to get up for a while and decorate the front of the house for Halloween purposes. The Jack O’ Lantern we put on the pillar light looks way cool. We still need a giant spider, so we may get that Friday.



I have work to get to this morning, including report prep. Luckily, it is all mostly busy work so not much at all. I am sleepy, but I chalk that up to still being slightly drugged this morning. But I can breathe, which I am telling you makes me so happy!



I think I should get to work so I will post this now.

Short and sweet

10-21-10




I think I am actually feeling better. Not gobs, but enough that I am not completely miserable. This is a step in the right direction.



So far, the worst part of this sick has to be the hot flashes. Seriously, I can just be sitting here and all of the sudden I get crazy hot, and break out into massive amounts of sweat. It is not fun.



I am looking forward to tomorrow, even though it may be chaotic at times. I am debating on just taking the whole day off, but we will see. Working an hour or so isn’t such a big deal. I have to be at the school at 8. I am very curious what it will entail. It is one of these parenting meetings. Don’t know if we get taught something, or if we just cut out stuff for the kids. Either way, it sounds cool.



Afterwards, my plan is to go home and do laundry. I don’t have to be back at the school until I pick up Bobby. I will be doing a lot of school stuff since I get home with Bobby and once we get Dax, we go back around 4 for Family Fun Night.



I need to also pull out the Buzz Lightyear costume. At the Disney Store tomorrow night at 6, there is free stuff for kids who dress in Disney costumes. Dax is already going to be in the mother of all Disney costumes as Mickey, but General Grevious, even though there is a lot of Star Wars stuff at Disney, I don’t know that it counts. Although, I think I might be able to convince them.



Ken won’t be able to be at the Family Fun night till the very end, which sucks. Hopefully traffic won’t be too bad so he can make it before it ends.



I have changed over to saline spray in my nose. I don’t know if it helps or not. I suppose it doesn’t hurt. I am getting frustrated about my nose being solid.



Hot flash again. Thank goodness I dressed for them today. I will not enjoy menopause. LOL! My mom got them bad. She had fans all over the place just in case she broke out into one.



I think saline sucks. I want Afrin.



Turns out French Vanilla creamer in powdered hot chocolate is yummy.



Do you ever feel like you are talking but no one hears you?



Sometimes it is good to go to work looking like crap. Because the day after that, when you look all nice, man do you get a lot of compliments. LOL!



I miss being able to breathe out my nose.

Zombie

10-20-10




I am alive, but just barely.



I am tired and congested. My eyes keep watering so I am at work sans eye makeup, which I am afraid makes me look awful. Ok, I know I look awful anyway due to the sick, but to have no makeup on, well, I just feel naked.



My throat is on fire. That truly sucks more than anything else. Congestion is doable. Throat issues, not so much.



I came into work for like 30 minutes yesterday, and then packed up and went home. I crawled into bed, and the kids didn’t even see me do this. I rested and slept till about 10:30. I then sat in front of the tv with Dax and Ken.



The bad part about yesterday was that I had a dentist appt. It was scheduled for today, but it was at 2, so I had it rescheduled so that I would not have to pull Bobby out of class early. I downed some DayQuil which helped me through the cleaning. Thankfully, Bobby was ok doing his cleaning in the other room while I was getting mine done. Dax stayed in the room with Bobby, which was way cool. Our dentist’s office is awesome, and the boys were great. Too bad they couldn’t stop their fighting in the car.



I went to bed at 7:30 last night. I had done the same the night before. I plan on the same tonight.



My mom had given these little doll beds to the boys that she had used in one of her schools. On the bottom was “Bowlby”. The boys were trying to figure out what it said. I explained that is was Bowlby, and Dax very excited says, “Oh! Like Tom Bowlby!” I guess my mom has called Poppy that a few hundred times in front of the boys.



The boys have been really squishy and affectionate lately. So have the critters. Am I dying?



I am drinking coffee. More importantly, I am enjoying coffee. They replaced the coffee maker at work with one of those fancy ones that makes just one cup at a time. They have like 6 different kinds to choose from. I went in there with the plan to get tea, but they only had green tea, so I opted for a cup of French Vanilla roast. Plus, they have actual real creamer. A liquid French Vanilla creamer. I am way enjoying this. What is up with that???



Dose number 2 of DayQuil down the hatches. Man that stuff is foul. I have been told by more than one person to go home. I will tough it out since I only have today and tomorrow, and then I only work like an hour on Friday since I need to be at the school by 8. I think I feel better. I am just feeling annoyed that I am sick and I am being a bit of a baby about it. LOL!



Thank goodness the boss is in late today.



I need to deposit a check today, and since I am in that neck of the woods, I might as well get hair dye. It will make me feel better to have fab hair. Dark Chocolate brown or Vibrant reddish brown?



Bobby getting hit in the head on Youtube now has 18K hits. Holy crap people.

Cough, sniffle, cough, sniffle

10-18-10




I feel like shit.



I would like nothing more than to be back in bed. This probably will not happen until this evening. Of course, I could go home sick, but I will tough it out as long as I can. I just need to be better by Friday, which is the busy day for me.



I am cold, then I am hot. I hate this.



The weekend was good, thankfully. We made monster cupcakes for the soccer game. Truly, though, we are wasting our creativity on kids who just want to shove the food in their mouth, not admire it.



We took the boys to my parents house around 1:30 on Saturday. Since Dax’s hand appt went well, it seems that my mom was ok with him staying. So we were kid free from about 2 till 7 the next morning. It was pretty glorious.



We had lunch at PF Changs. Ken said that it was a good thing for us to spend some money on us, so my date day ideas came true. We also went and saw Easy A, which was fantastic. Love love loved it.



The movie was done at 6:30, which showed how kind of lame we are. We really didn’t know what to do with ourselves. LOL! We ended up going to various Halloween shops and had a blast with jokes. We hit up Pleasure Island and then to Islands to have some cheese fries and a Mai Tai before heading home to crash. I was exhausted, and feeling the sick take hold.



The soccer game Saturday morning was fun, but seriously, if the fucking coach gave me the pneumonia she has, I will be pissed.



Sunday was a mellow day. We went bowling and got the kids. It was a fun morning until we headed home, where we noted just how cranky tired the boys were. For the first time in what seems like forever, we put the boys down for a nap. And not only did they go to nap, they actually napped, for a couple hours! YAY! It meant Ken and I could vege out and watch House.



Side note, House should win all the emmys for drama. Nuff said.



Once the boys got up, we did as promised and gathered a crap load of hot wheels cars and had the boys take them up to the play house and drive them all down the slide. This was way happy making for them.



We cleaned up the yard a bit for rain purposes, and tired out the dogs with play. I also made a batch of my chicken noodle soup.



I am pleased with this batch of soup. The cool pot that Ken got me worked wonderful, keeping all noodles from burning. Plus, the boys not only asked for seconds, but thirds, which NEVER happens. YAY!!!!!



Too bad it isn’t making me feel any better this morning.



I didn’t sleep well. I got to bed at 8:15, full of Nyquil. I know I slept for a couple hours. I woke up around 11 to find Ken watching M*A*S*H and I think on the computer. I went to the bathroom and went back to sleep. I woke up several times, very uncomfortable. Either too hot or too cold, I just couldn’t find the “just right”.



Then there was the snoring.



Ken, who I am sure is also due to get sick since the boys have a slight version of whatever I have, fell asleep on his back. This caused monster snoring. Normally, I don’t care. Hell, most of the time I sleep right through it. But for some reason last night I was unable to tune it out.



The snoring and temperature issues finally subsided around 3 am. Yes, this let me have just over an hour left of sleep. I was so upset at the alarm.



I predict my voice will be a distant memory by the end of the week. My throat hurts like hell.



So tired, so weak feeling. Can I go home and sleep?



The technician cut away more skin from Dax’s hand. He was fine up until they got to one part where it is worse. It even bled, which I think freaked out Dax more than any pain. Either way, I had to lie him on the exam bed and hold him while they cut the rest away, including using a pair of tweezers to pull the blisters off his fingers. I am telling you, I almost fainted. It was the same sensation I get when I watch the scene in poltergeist where the guy pulls off his face. It is a wonder I held it together.



His hand looks good, though. Very pink in places, which means it is healing well. I wish I could actually see the doctor this morning as I have yet to actually talk to him. Friday was just pulling skin, no doctor face time.



Ok, if I am going to make it through today, I need to try to work.

I need me some happy

10-15-10




Because I can’t catch a break, I now have a bit of a cough. I was just thinking the other day how I have not had as many sore throats. Apparently my throat caught wind of this and told me to eff off.



I am heading to the burn center today. I am leaving at noon so I can get Dax’s meds, Dax and then go up to the school to get Bobby to then head over to the hospital. Hopefully it goes well. The burn itself looks good, at least compared to Monday. The skin from the blister looks like lasagna noodles. The red has gone down a bit, too. Dax took off his own band aid last night. We kind of made a game of it. The last part, which is the part he hates the most, is just a piece of this gauze stuff that was coated in Neosporin. He doesn’t want you to touch it. So we had him shake his hand down, and it came off on its own. It was perfect.



Dax also then let us shower him and Dax even put his hand under the water of the shower. So this was a good thing. I am worried his hand is going to be cramped up because he holds it in a cupped position. Hopefully he will start to move it more. I have a feeling he will end up doing some therapy. But he will probably heal quickly since once his hand is more functional, you won’t be able to slow him down.



We have to make treats for Bobby’s soccer game in the morning. I am now considering the cupcakes Ken made with either eyeballs on top, or maybe go get some plastic hands from Michaels and put them coming out of them. Not sure.



I just got news that an old friend of mine and his wife are separated. Seriously, I need some friends to tell me some good news or it will soon get to the point where every time I turn on the computer I will cry.



My mom called me last night to see if we should postpone the kids staying the night at their house tomorrow night because of Dax’s hand. She was worried about his hand, and also about the bowling in the morning since Dax can’t bowl. Sigh. As if that isn’t bad enough, Ken pointed out that we need to be really good about money for the next 2 weeks. So I think date night is postponed for now. I really needed that, too, but I suppose we will do it in a few weeks.



Ken’s idea for the cupcakes is now making them monsters. He says he can transform them into giant eyeballs with what he got for cupcaking. Then tonight we may go by Michaels or something and pick up some little arms or something to stick in the sides. Should be good.



Some of the folks at work are buying the fundraiser bags. Woo hoo! I am supposed to do it for both kids, so I may end up just getting everything on one form and turning it in as both of them. I don’t think that they care. Plus, we are not trying to get prizes or anything. Just trying to raise some money.



I am also debating on helping out at the family fun night. I might not be able to during, but I can probably do clean up. I figure the boys and I will go when it opens and then Ken can meet us there. I have to go to the Dax meeting on that day in the morning, so I may just take the rest of the day off, help set up, pick up Bobby when it is time, go get Dax and then come back for the fun. We will see.



Luna has taken to giving me a hug when I sit down to pee. I had Ken sit on the pot to see if this was just reserved for mommy, and apparently, yes. I went in there and sat to show Ken. Sure enough, Luna comes in, puts her paws gently on my shoulders and just stares at me. It is very cute. Probably not the best habit in the world, but if she only does it with me, what is the harm, right?



Ok, I need to get to work.

What do you want?

10-14-10




Dax is on to us. He now knows that if we are going to start messing with his hand, it may hurt. This makes bandage changing very difficult.



We tried bargaining, we tried threats, we tried bribery, but it was back down to wrestling and tag team in order to pin the kid and get it done. I don’t even know how much it really hurt as much as he was just pissed about the experience.



I put a fun face on Dax’s sock for his hand. I hope that his little socky friend will be happy making while he wears it.



After the kicking and screaming (which coincidentally has resulted in Dax going a little hoarse since he has had to scream a lot this last week), we opted to take a little break in the responsibilities and went over to Disneyland.



We only did a couple rides as it was crowded and let’s face it, it was a school night. We stood in the hour long line for the modified Space Mountain which had been transformed for Halloween. It was not worth it. The ride is the same, but instead of good music and lots of stars, they had several images of this “spooky” skeleton monster











It was pretty lame. I was not impressed.





Thankfully we had the Buzz ride to cleanse our pallet and we also left the park in the Monorail in the front, which the boys always enjoy.



Is it bad that it was super happy making that I got soup last night? Not anything special, either. Just some boxed Lipton chicken noodle. I had got some Saltines at the store, so to have crackers and soup was my comfort food.



I also was sentimental and sappy last night. I had been thinking about the movie Always a good chunk of the day, and then a commercial with “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes” came on and I was in heaven. I promptly found a Youtube video with Always clips and I almost got weepy. Dammit, that is a good flick.



Oh, and in the TMI, close your eyes if you don’t want to think about this, a shout out to Ken for a spectacular good night kiss.



I am in sleepy town this morning. I don’t have any sleep in time coming up for a while, either. Saturday’s game is early and Sunday we are going bowling since that is where we will retrieve the boys.



We are in debate on what movie to see on Saturday. There are so many I want to see. Some older ones like Easy A and The Social Network, and a few that just came out like Jackass, It’s Kind of a Funny Store and Red. The current front runner is Red since most of these movies are ones it doesn’t need to be seen on the big screen. I am sure we will change our mind a few more times before Saturday. We also have plans to do an early dinner at PF Changs, so I am all kinds of excited.



It looks like Dax may be ambidextrous. I don’t know how natural it is, but he does seem to have some left handed skills. He did a worksheet in class yesterday and it looks really good, and it was done with his left hand. The one thing I can see this being good for is the simple fact that I am sure that this will not be his last injury that will hinder his right hand. LOL! I am not shocked that he would be able to use both. The kid can already whistle and he skips really well. He can jump up and kick a ball with both feet at the same time, and not fall. He is very balanced.



If you found out that your mother did porn when you were a little kid just to get some money to support the family would that upset you?



This one lady at Disneyland was looking at Dax’s sock hand and instead of the “awww…cute” look, he got the “awwww..poor retarded kid” look. She whispered things to her companion and honestly, I think she thought the kid just got off the short bus. I wanted to tell her that Dax was smarter than her.



Strange, deep thoughts now presented to me. A friend has just told me that despite what I had always thought about her desires, I was wrong. She is a person that always wanted to have kids. Let’s face it, a good chunk of women want kids. A good chunk these days don’t. But she is someone that I assumed that the kid thing wasn’t just “what you are supposed to do” so much as she had a deep desire to procreate. I wonder how much of that was me projecting.



The reason it comes up is because as it turns out, her boyfriend of the last couple years doesn’t want kids. A reasonable desire, btw. I have probably an equal amount of friends who want kids as I do who do not. I also know folks that should have probably not had kids. LOL!



This news of him not wanting kids didn’t throw me because I always thought of him as a kid person. Rather, it shocked me that my friend would choose to stay with someone who didn’t want the one thing I thought she really wanted. I truly thought that this would be a deal breaker.



This then got me to thinking about what is a deal breaker? At what point do you throw in the towel on your partner and decide that no matter how great things are, you can’t stay with them. Thankfully, or sadly I suppose depending on how you look at it, there is never just one thing that splits people apart. It tends to be an accumulation of issues that combine to form the inevitable “irreconcilable differences”. Boy, this sentence sure does sum it up. There are just so many problems that no matter what good there is, you can’t go on living with this person for another second.



But then you think. There has to be a handful of things that would be the one and only reason you split up. I suppose the most common would be infidelity. I used to be one of those folks. I remember thinking that if my man cheated on me, that would be it. I have come to a point now where I think I can understand better that cheating is not as cut and dry. I would like to think that now I wouldn’t just throw everything away on the generic term of infidelity. I would like to think I would delve into it more to find out what caused it.



So what else could be a deal breaker? Sure, some of the more extreme things like perhaps them causing bodily harm to you or someone you love. Perhaps addition would be on that list. These would be the things that forgiveness could never come easy.



But what about the fundamentals? Do both people need to have similar views on life in order to be happy together? Once again, I know that the old adage of opposites attract is alive and well to this day with couples everywhere. Heck, I do not believe in capital punishment and yet Ken does. I know there are couples that have conflicting views on all the hot button topics from abortion to immigration to even party lines. Yet they all do well together.



What is funny is that I think that those people should stand a better chance at working out just in the idea that they already know what it is like to disagree and be ok with it.



This conversation with my friend comes on the heels of the call in topic on Kevin and Bean this morning about taking the man’s last name when you get married. Bean found some recent survey in which 50% of the men surveyed believe that it should be law for the woman to take the man’s last name when they get hitched. Are you fucking kidding me?



I know I can’t really speak for the women out there who don’t want to change their name. Hell, I changed mine. But honestly, I didn’t care as much what my name is. My identity never resided in my last name for me. Hell, if I had the choice I would be one of those cool people like Cher or Madonna (and yes, I understand they may not be cool anymore, but it is a point, people), I would just be Gena. No joke. I love my first name so much, I know it would be awesome with any last name. It was, and is, important to Ken for us to have the same last name as his father and grandfather and great grandfather. Brenan isn’t so bad. For one, I didn’t have to change my initials which made me way happy. And for another, Ralph on KROQ said my name sounded like a porn name, which made me super happy too.



Truly, I am one of those folks who always thought it would be fun to make up a new last name when people get married. Why does the guy get to choose his name? Why not celebrate the union by making it a combined effort? Sure, genealogists would want to kill you as it would make their life incredibly difficult, but I think it would be fun.



Although, guys, if you really want a good argument, just point out that the girl gets the wedding, and the guy gets the name.



What amazed me was how many people considered this not taking the last name as a deal breaker for their relationship. I suppose if it is important to them, I can’t get on their case. I may not understand it, but I am sure there are people that don’t understand things like how important kids are to one person, or why it is that it is crucial that no Christmas decorations be put up until after Thanksgiving. The important thing is that is important.



They tell us to never give up your dreams or ideals for anyone. Clearly, no one listens to this based on the number of unhappy employees in the work force. So is it really ok if we don’t do what we want just to settle? And is settling bad?



I know I am not thrilled with the minor amount of income Ken brings to the table. This isn’t a secret. I am the primary breadwinner in my household. I really am not thrilled with this status. There was a time, but I have decided that over all it is more stress than I like to deal with. Yet, my desire to have more money in my house is pushed aside. I don’t tell Ken to go out and “get a real job”. I don’t always like how he does his job, but the positives of him having this job sometimes outweigh the negative. For one, he can drop off the kids at school. Two, he picks Dax up after Pre-K. He now has time to work on some light housework in the mornings before he takes Dax from school to daycare. No, his job isn’t super flexible and I am pretty sure he shits Lego because of how much there is in the house and his car, it is all tolerable and I don’t find it to be so offensive for me to tell him its me or the Lego. He does need to sell the freaking PT, but we’ll talk later.



Trust me, I also know that Ken puts up with a whole lot of crap from my end. But maybe it isn’t so much that putting up with is a bad thing. People like horror flicks even though they scare them into needing to change their pants. The end result is still happy making. Perhaps I should not compare a relationship to a horror flick, but let me tell you, if you have kids, the bodily fluids flying around make some of those slasher flicks look tame.



I always wanted kids. I was at one point in which I didn’t care about being with anyone, either. I would have gladly taken a donation and moved to Canada with the result. In a funny coincidence, one of the donors I considered is the one who actually made the contributions. Perhaps my body knew his sperm would help me make some pretty fucking awesome kiddos.



I don’t know that I would have stayed with a man who didn’t want kids. Towards the end of Greg and my relationship, I started to get the sense that he wasn’t baby daddy material for me. I am thrilled that he ended up becoming an amazing step father. But I don’t know that even if we worked out all the other shit, that Greg and I would have ever been parents to a kid.



I was never going to end up with a person who didn’t want kids. I assumed my friend was the same way.



But I suppose love is a funny thing. Sure, the love that most people have for their child is amazing and it is intoxicating. And let’s face it, it has to be. Nature knew that if you didn’t have this love buffer you would drown the little brats sometimes.



The love you have for your partner, though, is something that hopefully takes you longer. It might actually be a mature outlook on my friend’s part to consider the idea that her man is a really decent fellow and those are hard to come by. She might not get the wonder of children, but not having kids may free her up to do other things that she loves. She could travel or go to school or hell, just go to movies every night. This life is no less fulfilling than someone with kids.



I guess deal breakers are great on paper, but nothing is a set rule. When choosing your “perfect mate” maybe those silly lists we might make when we are little should never be set in stone. I used to say I wouldn’t date a guy with a mustache. Oops. I am sure Ken never wanted someone with tattoos and who is a fatty. Oops.



What shocked me should not have. I wonder that maybe I made too much out of what I thought she wanted when really I should have looked at what was right there in front of me. She wanted to be as happy as she could be. We gamble a lot with who we get involved with, and she thinks she has a pretty good amount of winnings to be able to walk away from the table.



I really hope he is worth it. I have a friend who got married when she was in her 20’s and she stayed with him for 10 or so years. He never wanted kids. She did. But she loved him and didn’t want to lose him so she opted against it. They divorced when she was in her late 30’s, during a time when you didn’t really have kids that old. She now is in her 70’s and regrets having spent so much time with a man that ended up being not worth the sacrifice. I guess I just want my friend to think long and hard about what she wants and even though there may be no deal breakers, there should also be no settling.

Blog stuff giving me trouble, so hopefully this posts

10-13-10




My reporting that I have to do this morning is going to be tedious. I get to run it, which takes a few seconds, but then I have to wait 5 minutes to process each report, and I have about 30 to run. I guess I know my plan for the day.



I am less stressed than I was, although, I am still on edge. Dax still hurts and it is tough to see that. I noticed a small blood blister on one of his fingers. Don’t know what that means. They didn’t tell us to watch for that. Ken has to call the doctor this morning, anyway to ask for more pain meds, so he will mention it.



Dax does seem pretty chipper despite his pain. He even worked on some homework last night with his left hand. The teacher told us he didn’t need to, but Dax was insistent.



The boys did good yesterday, too, with our new Tuesday routine. Since Ken picks up Bobby on Tuesdays because of this bullshit early dismissal crap, and has to leave for a class at 2, there is a tiny window in which if Bobby can stay home by himself for 10 minutes, I don’t have to go get him from Ken’s class. Yesterday, Ken also had Dax at home, so he left the two of them there, but I was on the phone with them through the computer speakers. I was able to talk to them the whole way home, so they knew I was there. Ken also parked at the end of the block in case something needed him on this first day. Hopefully even if Dax is not there, Bobby will be ok with this plan.



Bobby is also still acting up in class, earning himself a red card yesterday. I don’t want to keep making excuses. I mean, sure, it could be that Dax is getting a lot of attention right now and maybe that is why he is acting out. I don’t know. Either way, he needs to start behaving.



I read a handful of books to the boys yesterday after I got home. They sat on the floor (both announcing “Criss Cross, Applesauce”) and I read from Bobby’s library book and books they each chose from our library. It was cool, actually. It was a nice bonding, cool down period when I got home.



Poor Dax has so much energy and he really wants to play outside. Doctor’s orders are for him not to. I think tonight we will need to do something to let him out. Perhaps a Disneyland run? I think Ken only has one small class, so it would be an ideal outing day.



Dammit! I forgot about this potluck today. Oh well. I will still go. I just won’t eat.



The one thing nice about having the data plan on a phone is that when Kevin and Bean talk about something that really I should not look up on my computer at work, I have the ability to look it up online on my phone. LOL!



I have a headache.



I am hoping whatever invasive procedures they do to Dax on Friday keep him chipper enough to still stay the night at Grandma’s house on Saturday night. I am actually really jonzing for an all Ken night.



I also am foolish in my desires currently concerning Bobby’s soccer game. See, I refuse to be the mom who for her turn on snack day only brings a brown sack full of a couple things of cookies and a CapriSun. I love the idea of awesome cupcake ice cream cones. I may have over did it last time since now I am worried I can’t top it. Fuck! Luckily, I spoke to Bobby about it and we did some brainstorming and he liked the idea of little donut holes that are decorated to look like eyeballs. He also liked the idea of some kind of pastry to look like fingers. So my Halloween theme may also include some dry ice along with blood red punch. Woo hoo!



I have been picking fights with sales reps all week. I am tired of them telling me to not worry about the past due on an account and then they sell more stuff to them and expect me to release the order. I have one who owes $81K, and the balance was due last month. The sales rep tells me they are waiting for money from their customer and that he knew this would be the case. Well, fucktard, then you should have given them extended terms. Don’t make my portfolio look bad, asshole, I am your worst nightmare if you do that. God Dammit these people piss me off.



I am starving. I would be eating lunch right now but I am actually getting to eat at the potluck, which doesn’t start for another hour. I may die.

stuff

10-12-10




It is 10:30 in the morning. I have not written at all. It is an odd thing to do. But I have been reading mostly this morning. I wanted to distract myself from Dax and work and well, everything.



Don’t worry. I am ok. Last night after spending a horrid session of Dax’s hand being poked, prodded, cut and drained, I was spent. I felt the panic attack coming on strong, especially after I got home and realized that I still had dinner to make, homework to help with and clean up to do. Really, all of this was minor, but when you are having a panic attack, it is amazing how something as insignificant as an ant on your keyboard can drive you to nuttyville.



My mom called to check on Dax. I told her the details and explained how the doctor wanted to see under the blister to know what we were working on for healing. I assured her that he has pain meds that I intend on keeping him on so as to keep her grandson from as much suffering as possible. Her question was what was I taking.



I took a Xanax and visited with my good friend the Captain.



I felt so bad having taken all of the sympathy for myself. I asked Ken how he was doing. He said that when they first were draining the blister, he actually got faint. It wasn’t like it was gross. Just the whole idea of this being his son was getting to him.



I tried some therapeutic cleaning, but kept getting side tracked. Actually, I made a point of trying not to snip or yell at Ken if at all possible. I wanted to talk and walk him through my “episodes” so that he could understand better. I think I did ok. Not the best, but we did go to bed laughing.



My dad has offered for them to come to us tonight for their Tuesday visit with the boys. Luckily I had done some mega cleaning on Sunday, and Ken is working on the other problem spots this morning for me. I know it shouldn’t matter, but I don’t want to stress about any silent judging on the condition of our living arrangements.



Poor Dax is not allowed to get his hand dirty. I recommended Ken take a sock tomorrow to help alleviate any more panic calls from his teacher which today consisted of her worries about getting orange paint on his bandage. The sock covering should also allow him some playground time, which will be good. It is not right to insist that a 4 year old stay this clean.



I want to color my hair a different color this time. I am tempted to do something shocking just to amuse my children. Both of them insisted on me doing my hair this shocking red, similar to the color Rhianna is sporting these days. I tried to show them a deeper, more “me” red, and Bobby rejected it saying it wasn’t bright enough.



Ok, I have written a page in 8 minutes. Not bad.



There is the annual writing challenge next month. I wonder what I will write. I may stick with a fictional account of what I know. I may stop blogging for the month and just concentrate on that. It could be a lot of fun.



I also noted that I have not written any deep and insightful tales of late. I have been too wrapped up in the mundane and ordinary. I need to change this. It is one thing to become boring in real life, but my journals are designed to be not only informative, but a way to express ideas and emotion.



I have determined it is not in my best interest to watch the 10 o’clock news. I am sure Ken finds it endlessly amusing, but it really is one of those shows that gets me all worked up into a tizzy because of the parade of idiots on display.



In one amusing note about the news, I always got a kick out of the fact that many of the news stories included them reporting on what the newspaper headlines were on various publications. Said headlines now have been replaced by tweets by random fucktards.



Oh, shoot, I even forgot to post this. Man, I suck.

Burned

10-11-10




There really is nothing to prepare you to see 2nd degree burns all over your 4 year old son’s hand.



I was in the kitchen, working on dinner. I had fired up the BBQ and water was boiling in the house for the corn. Bobby and Dax were outside, playing as they had been all afternoon.



Bobby came in sobbing. He has slipped on the wall when he was climbing down from it and got a small scrape on his hand. I was tending to this when I heard the scream.



Dax somehow managed to place his right hand on the outside of the piping hot BBQ. It looks as though he probably was coming up the porch and slipped and ended up putting his hand on it for balance.



I felt bad, but I had to toss Bobby to the side. Ken came running in asking what happened and all I could manage to get out over all the chaos and crying from both boys was “bad burn!” Ken promptly grabbed Dax and shoved him under the sink.



Ken told Dax it was going to hurt. Dax was not happy. The cold water went over his hand and you could see the damage. Dax kept yelling, “Ow! Ow! Ow!” over and over. As bad as this sounds, it was almost comical being that he no longer just screamed, but screamed words. I almost wish he knew to scream, “FUCK!”



We got a wet cloth on his hand while Ken phoned the doctor. We were not sure if it would be better to get over to the ER or Urgent Care. During this time, I held onto Dax, trying to calm him as best as possible. He was flailing in pain and anger from the pain. I almost expected him to go into shock. He was spitting and biting his hand just to ease what he was going through. I held on to him and tried with all my might to help him through this.



Bobby luckily understood that he now needed to be the brave boy. He was great. He set aside his own pain, which obviously was way less, but for a kid, it was impressive that he managed.



We rushed over to Urgent Care in Long Beach and luckily because we called ahead, they let us right in. They got him a shot of something to calm him down and to ease the pain. You could see that between his massive energy output from kicking and screaming and the pain med shot into his butt, he finally calmed down. He was laying down, hand in a bucket of ice water.



He was cold after a while, which made sense. He was all sweaty and his hand was in cold water, so not only did Bobby loan him his blanket, we covered him in doctor’s blankets. One of the nurses even microwaved one of them for him. We had him bundled up, hand in water, and he rested.



He was asleep, but still talking from time to time. We had to check on him to make sure his pulse rate was ok with the meds. It was interesting talking to him all drugged out. He was shockingly clear when I asked him questions. After a little bit of talking, he would then tell me he wanted to sleep some more, and he would proceed to doze off. It was sweet.



The doctor had the nurses bandage him up. They first smeared this burn cream on his hand. It looked like frosting. Then the wrapped up each finger individually, and then finally his whole hand topped with a sock like gauze.



He was also prescribed with Vicodin in a liquid form. This was going to be a painful injury for a while. We gave him a dose before bed and he slept. He even slept in. When I got up on Sunday morning to go to the bathroom, Bobby came out of the playroom and was super sweet. He tells me that Dax is still sleeping so he went into the playroom to let him rest. Good brother!!



Dax was actually pretty good all day. He got up around 8 and said he felt better. They had some breakfast and played most of the morning outside. They also played with the box of Mr Potato Heads I found. He didn’t complain once.



I spent the morning cleaning house. Ken had a birthday party so I hung with the kids and managed to uber clean the playroom and their bedroom. I was busy.



When Ken got home, we headed back to Urgent Care. They had told us to come back so they could change the dressing. We hung out in the waiting room much longer this time. It wasn’t super crowded, which was good.



I know that burns look awful. But honestly, you kind of trick your mind into forgetting what you know. On Saturday night, when I did look at his hand, I didn’t think that it would be as bad as I expected. I also wasn’t paying attention to that so much as helping to keep Dax calm. So when they removed the bandage to reveal the giant blisters on his hand, it took my whole being to not burst out in tears.



I didn’t want to spook him, so I kept it all inside. Ken knew I was taken aback. But he said I did good in not freaking out.



Dax was amazing. He was so calm. He asked what the blister was and if he could touch it. He didn’t cry, and he also managed to move his hand a bit for the doctor, which was a good thing.



The doctor said that it looked “good”. There was no signs of infection and his movement of the hand was a good sign. He had the nurse bandage him back up and instructed us to go to our actual doctor today.



The nurse was awesome. Both the boys liked her and she did a good job getting him all set. It was cute that while she put on the cream, she asked Dax if she missed a spot, and Dax pointed to where he wanted more. She made it fun, and both Dax and Bobby told me after that she was nice. She also loaded them up with stickers, which I am sure helped their opinion.



Ken is going to take Dax to the doctor this morning at 10:15, which does mean he will have to leave class early. That kind of sucks since Dax loves his class, but I have a feeling class will be frustrating because this burn is on his right hand. Although, perhaps this will allow Dax to practice using his left hand and maybe he can be ambidextrous.



My weekend was supposed to be more relaxing than all of this. Especially since Friday night I flaked on Stephanie since I was feeling icky. I had several sneezing fits, and was crazy congested. Saturday morning I was still yucky, but at least my head had finally stopped throbbing.



We did manage to get over to the So Fresh Market to get a pineapple for Bobby. He has been jonezing for one for about a week now. We also hooked the boys up with smoothies from Jamba Juice, which they loved.



Bobby’s soccer game was fun. He was a little spacey, but he had a good time. The team as a whole seems to be doing much better.



I got my gloves for my costume and my nightgown is being made. I should have it this week. We also ordered Bobby’s costume. Halloween will be good.



I really want to be there at Dax’s appt this morning. When Dax first went to Urgent Care on Saturday, the original plan was that Ken was taking him while I stayed home with Bobby. I am glad I insisted on going. Bobby was great, sitting in the corner playing games on iTty, and I was able to possibly help Dax and Ken. This morning won’t be as eventful, but this is where treatment information will be issued, so to some degree I would like to be there in case any questions come up. But since I need to take some time off next Friday, I will just be good and wait for Ken’s report.



I pulled some books from the boys’ library and donated them to Bobby’s class. I had some duplicates and “girl” books that would be good for the class. I had Bobby approve them before I gave them away.



The plan had also been to give the box of Potato Heads and accessories to Dax’s class, but the boys have been having so much fun with them I might hold off for now. Besides, there really isn’t enough there to donate to the class since I really should donate way more so that every kid could play at the same time.

good news/bad news

Got a raise. 4%
I can't complain, really. At least it is something.
Won't get any more increases until end of 2011

No promotion. He said too small of a dept for any managers. Didn't matter that I didn't want to be a manager, just a team leader, but whatever. He doesn't seem to give a fuck that I do more than my title says I do. He was happy with all the technical stuff I have now been a part of, but of course that doesn't mean diddly fucking squat.

I should have gotten 6%.

sickly

10-8-10




I want to be home right now. I am tired and icky. I have a headache, too.



I played hooky yesterday. For a couple of reasons, really. One, my stomach wasn’t happy with me. Two, I didn’t want to do inventory. It was on principal. Either way, I lasted all of 15 minutes here at work. I then headed home.



I was clearly fucked up the household dynamic by being home. Dax came out of the bathroom at 6 and saw me so started talking to me. He is a morning person very much like myself. Ken came out in full gruffy papa bear mode and sent him back to bed. This did not go over well with the bear cub. He screamed and screamed and as a result of this, it woke up Bobby, who was less than thrilled with being awake already. There was screaming and crying and growling coming from their room. Ken and the boys, all three trying to function. I finally went into the room, met with growls and what seemed like complete anger. I attempted to diffuse the situation and sent Ken on his way.



Luckily, they both calmed down and Ken just went into his normal silent morning mode. The boys were fed and the boys asked if I would walk them to school. They didn’t want Ken to go. I think it was just the novelty of mommy being home.



It was really cool to watch them both go to class. Dax, trotting off without a care in the world, all smiles. Bobby, headed to his line with no tears, but clearly not letting us out of his sight until he was led into the classroom. Ken told me that he isn’t allowed to walk away as Bobby will get upset.



The 2 hours or so between drop off and Dax pick up were spent doing some light housework. I was still walking on eggshells as Ken just doesn’t seem to ike it when I disrupt the routine. The irony here is that he is the one who is more flexible.



We went and got Dax, marking mile number 2 of my walking for yesterday. We got to watch Bobby go to snack/.recess on the playground on the way home. It is cute to see him in his world.



Dax went to Maria’s with no fuss, which impressed the shit out of me.



I then was able to sit and vege out. I ate some lunch and watched 90210 and Parenthood. I also watched some shows with Ken. It was nice to sit.



Ken headed to class and I took Luna with me to walk mile number 3 to go pick up Bobby. Luna did ok. I didn’t implement the full strict walking with Luna, but I did train her on not pulling the leash. This compromise seemed to work well. She was a little goofy at the school in wanting to say hello to everyone, but she managed. She gave Bobby a big kiss when he came up.



I worked with Bobby on his homework and we got his 7 bears drawn and colored. He is doing really well with his numbers. He is also sounding out words when he sees them, so it is really neat to see him actually working on reading.



I went into the closet in the boys’ room to see if I could find some books to donate. I found the box of Mr. Potato Head stuff. I thought that might be good to donate to Dax’s class. In the box, though, was Woody’s Hat! It was very exciting as it has been missing for some time now.



The boys played with the Potato Heads for a while, and then I made dinner while they watched You Tube Videos of books being read. Who knew that would be so mesmerizing.



After dinner, we all went out back and pulled vines out of the tree. Our hedge is growing up and around our tree. It is not cool. We constantly pull them. The plan is to remove this hedge and replace it with bamboo. The boys love it when we remove a lot of vines because they have, as Bobby has dubbed it, a “Leaf Party”.



Bubble baths and pudding ended the evening. I actually crawled into bed at 7:45. I had to take some Ibuprofen because my ankle was really unhappy with me. It was quite swollen. Apparently walking 3 miles along with any other activities I did are not exactly recommended for someone with a still sprained ankle. It still is unhappy with me.



Thank goodness my 9 am meeting was postponed.



Now I am nervous. Maryann told me that the whole department was already spoken to about their raises. I have not been. Wonderful. I don’t know if that means I don’t get one or what. She tells me I have to be getting one. I don’t think that is how it works, but either way, I am freaking out. If he doesn’t talk to me today, I have to assume I don’t get one and that my proposal was rejected. Not cool. Oh well. Whatcha gonna do, right?



The worry of this on top of being sick is bumming me out. I need to bury myself in work.

Off

10-6-10




Was it the sadness I have had with Scott’s daughter? Was it recent discussions of faith and sanctuary with Stephanie? Was it just my own inner wussy? I don’t know what it was, and really, I don’t think it matters.



I watched Glee last night with tissue in hand, prepared for the inevitable sob fest. I knew it would be hard to watch just based on the fact that I was crying from just the 15 second previews they showed last week.



I have not cried this hard from a show in a long time. It honestly left me battered. I was still crying 20 minutes later, as I laid my head down on my pillow, trying to sleep and angry about how stuffy my nose was since it meant I could not smell the wonderful rain outside.



The most touching, and devastating, was Curt’s rendition of “I Want to Hold Your Hand”. The lyrics of this simple, but brilliant pop song were juxtaposed with images of a young Curt, playing with his father, holding his hand through thick and thin. This performance taking place only 2 days after his dad suffered a heart attack and left him comatose in the hospital, unable to squeeze his son’s hand despite the teary coaxing from him. I am telling you, there is something incredibly powerful about a happy song used to portray something so deep. I don’t know what it is. Maybe just the knowledge of what the song can mean on so many levels just hits me.



I listened to the song again this morning, sans images, and it still tore at my insides.



The whole episode was filled with questions of faith and whether or not an atheist can be ok with people who believe and vice versa. It dealt with death and family and how we all cope with everything from tragedy to the unexplained. Of course, it wasn’t without humor. Seriously, when you see a dumb jock praying to a Grilled Cheesus, there might be nothing funnier.



I emailed Scott several links for support groups and other programs for Neroblastoma in Colorado. I also emailed him my words of support. He mailed me back, and seriously, I just wanted to weep at how much this is taking a toll on him. It really kills me. I know the odds on this cancer. My friend Mo lost her son 5 years ago to it. He was around the same age when he was diagnosed. She has been wonderful, though. She uses her experience to help others. She still visits cancer patients she has met through her son and even beyond that. She does marathons for cancer research. Plus, she was super cool to spend some time talking to me about how I can be a support to Scott during this time.



Maybe I need to be less weepy this morning.



On a positive note, this good Samaritan just saved a little girl who was abducted. He rules all.



I don’t often feel this crampy, but I do this morning. I wonder what that is about. I also feel out of sorts. I think I will blame PMS. LOL!



Not feeling real inspired to work this morning, either. I would rather be home, watching the rain. I cannot warrant going home, though. Sigh.



This afternoon I am taking Bobby to a follow up speech evaluation. They called me yesterday and asked me if I could come by today. Should be interesting.



Back to School night went well. It wasn’t super interesting aside from Dax’s teacher calling him her little sunshine. I love that.



Work is being frustrating today. Not sure if that is related to my PMS or just dealing with idiots. I am off to fight them!

I want a promotion! LOL!

10-5-10




Last night was the best in terms of comfy sleeping. It was so nice for it to finally be cold. I didn’t even need the fan on all night, and if anything, I actually slept more with the covers on then off! I was pissed when the alarm went off. I could have stayed there for a couple more hours. YAY FALL!



Actually, yesterday was pretty good. A hectic, stressful day at work, but nothing bad. I got home and Dax had hung out with Ken all day, which was cool. Dax, Ken and I walked up to get Bobby. It was drizzling out, so it was the best walking weather ever.



Bobby’s teacher seems convinced that Bobby’s “issues” in class are fixable and that this is all just a matter of getting used to rules. I have been reassured by several moms that this is the case as well, so I am not as upset about it. I wish he would settle more, but the teacher says he is smart and that in about 2 months we will see a huge difference.



Bobby did have some resistance to doing homework, but we think the problem was he was tired and hungry. I need to make sure to have a snack for him before homework is done.



Dax had decided he wanted Mac and Cheese for dinner. Ken had not realized when he and Dax were at the store that we had no butter. So Dax and I headed out to get some while Bobby and Ken did homework.



We get home and I start prepping for the dinner when I note that we don’t have any Mac and Cheese. It was comical, really. So Ken ran and got some. LOL!



I also made the boys Vienna sausages since we had to pick up some canned meat for their emergency packs for school. We wanted to make sure they liked them. They wolfed them down. Baby hot dogs!



I got to make hot chocolate, which I always love to do. Something about rainy days and making it make me happy. It reminds me of when my mom would make it.



I am getting tired of these stupid cold sores. Ok, I don’t get them that often, but when I do, I hate them.



I have yet another busy day ahead of me. Meetings and projects at work, and then when I leave work I have to get Dax, then go retrieve Bobby from Ken, and then get them to my parents’ house. I then have to get home and walk up to the school for Back to School night. The first part of that is the principal talking, which also will cover PTA, which I am interesting in being a part of. Next, is the presentation by Bobby’s teacher. Dax’s teacher said there is nothing on her end, but I think I may at least stop to see if she is there. Although, Ken is going to be in Dax’s class this morning, so he may get to see how he is doing just from that.



I am telling you, the people in charge of Halloween decorations this year in the stores must have known I was in the mood for them. I have seen more sparkly skulls then I know what to do with! I am all kinds of happy.



I think that the next time they have a parent volunteer for Dax’s class, I want to go.



I am excited as it says it is supposed to rain tomorrow!



It is odd that I am excited at the prospect of being part of the PTA?



I had dreams last night where I fed giant fish and dolphins. It was some weird lagoon. I also was late picking up Bobby from school, but it was ok since Dax went and got him for me.

Does life ever slow down?

10-4-10




I think I am recovering from my mini breakdown last night. I think the stress of the boys’ schooling is getting to me.



We had an active weekend. From Friday to last night, I seemed to be running around a lot.



Bobby’s game on Saturday was freaking awesome! First off, the other team was actually worse than our boys. But not only that, our team did truly amazing on Saturday. They all were hustling and really doing well. Bobby did great and really got in there. It was the first time I really saw him play. I mean, before he kind of bumbled along, but this was honest to goodness soccer playing. It was so wonderful to see him have so much fun. Plus, I loved that even though he wasn’t the one scoring the goals, he was just as excited when anyone on his team scored. It was great team spirit.



Saturday afternoon was spent doing yard work and laundry. We took down the pool and moved some of the wood chips that were under the pool over to our muddy spots in the yard. The boys actually did that part. Ken and I dug up the chips for them to put into buckets and then had them take the buckets and dump them.



When the boys were being rotten, I made them do chores. It seemed to calm everyone down. They liked being helpful, I liked not having to do some of the chores, and everyone wins. They took out recycling, they put away their own laundry, and helped me with the living room.



Saturday evening, while Ken did sets for the Sunday birthday party, we watched Kick Ass. Fun movie, but not nearly as light hearted as I expected. It was nice to just sit and relax for a couple of hours.



Sunday morning, I got up around 4 to pee. As I am in the bathroom, Ittles decides that she needs to be uber affectionate with me. It was odd. Then, Luna starts full on barking, and Lycos started groaning. I crawl back into bed after scolding them and Monarch starts licking my hand. It was all odd and crazy and I was sure that we were in store for an earthquake.



These critters have continued this through this morning with me. Perhaps I am dying?



It is picture day today for the kids. I picked out good outfits for them and hopefully they smile all good. We cut Dax’s hair on Saturday night. He wanted it cut and we used the Flowbee. It made an actually pretty good cut. I am super impressed with this thing. We also did Bobby’s hair. I am sure they will look awesome.



We went to the Hometown Fair for a bit yesterday afternoon. It was packed! On the plus side, it was not hot, so it was not too bad. The boys played in the kids area and we let them play one of the many “Pick a Duck” games, where they both won light sabers. Happiness everywhere. LOL!



Ken is going today to get me some fabric for my costume and is sending it up to my MIL so she can make me the nightgown. Super awesomeness! It means I will have a comfy outfit and I will even have something that I can wear later around the house.



They switched the system over at work before all the testing was complete. So this morning will be hectic. I also have a meeting this morning. I hope the day is good.



Tomorrow is hectic for sure. After work I need to take the boys to my parents’ house as they will be watching them while we are at Back to School night. Then after that, I need to go get them. Luckily my parents have agreed to feed them so I really only have to pick them up and not be too stressed. I may take their homework over so my mom can help them do it. Don’t know yet. I have to see what the homework is. I may just have them do tomorrow night’s tonight.



Crud, Lots of work all of the sudden.

This day is too busy

10-1-10




Busy morning ahead of me today. Really, a busy day ahead of me. I have a meeting at 9, flue shot right after that, and another meeting at 1:30 that I am going to stress in since I need to go get the kid.



Speaking of kid, I am at wit’s end with Bobby. Mrs. Fashe told me yesterday that he just can’t seem to keep his hands to himself, and he is not listening to instructions. I was so embarrassed and frustrated and I just didn’t know what to do.



I told Bobby that he lost shows until further notice. I also made him help me clean the house yesterday afternoon. This was a good thing as he was punished and I got out my frustration.



My house now looks much better. I redid the living room a bit and scrubbed the kitchen. It allows me to do the floors cinderelly star this weekend. I also worked on laundry that Ken had started. At this rate, I should be able to be finished with laundry tonight.



We also started to take down the pool. We drained the water into the yard and Ken is going to clean it really well this weekend so that we don’t store any mold. I know Luna and Bobby will be bummed, but part of the reason we are taking it down was that Bobby is not allowed to swim while he is acting up.



I have errands to run tonight including a Target run and going to my parents’ house. Is it bad that I am actually considering faking feeling woozy after my flu shot so I can just go home at noon?



People can argue all they want about whether or not Facebook is evil, but I am going with it is good. Two instances come to mind. One, on my own situation. I got so much good advice from multiple parents and teachers on how to deal with Bobby. I felt so incredibly supported. It was awesome.



The second was the horrific news about an old friend’s daughter. Scott’s daughter, who will be 3 in December, was diagnosed yesterday with a rare cancer and started chemo yesterday. He posted this information, presumably from the doctor’s office. It made me sick. I instantly offered my condolences and support, as did numerous others on his post. I know it will be tough battle for him and his family, and especially Madelyn. But I would imagine it has to be nice to have so many people in his network to lean on.



I am so swamped!!!!!