Diet Time

4-26-10

Ok, I am only an hour into my diet and I already fucked up. LOL

Not really. I just forgot to bring my other portion of cantaloupe. I am supposed to have one at breakfast and one at lunch. I have opted to save the piece I brought for lunch, sticking to my eggs and oatmeal for breakfast. It wasn’t horrid so far. I know I am going to be hungry, which may prompt me to eat my apple in about an hour or so. I can eat my other apple this afternoon. I also am planning on prepping my eggs for the next two days tonight so that I don’t need to mess with cooking them, only heating them up when I get to work.

I did feel pretty cool about prepping this big ole green salad. We bought some fresh romaine and I cut it up and tossed it and measured it all out. I am thinking after this “diet” I am going to start measuring out my food portions like that.

I anticipate being a smidge cranky today. It also doesn’t help that yesterday I had a gnarly anxiety attack. We were driving to the mall so I could pick my free $10 gift card. I mentioned to Ken as we drove up the parking structure that at some point I would like the goal to be getting net access on our phones. Ken didn’t say much, just kept kind of teasing me. He kept saying the same word over and over. I don’t remember what it was because I got extremely anxious and frustrated. I told him this and he didn’t stop. I was losing it. At one point he recommended that I turn right instead of left and I lost it. I told him right now he was not allowed to tell me what to do. I was freaking. He didn’t get it.

Thankfully before I went into total meltdown, Dax cracked my ass up. As we circled the structure, these people started to kind of walk in front of us. Before I could say anything, Dax yells from the back seat, “Move, people!” I almost died laughing. Of course, this was something I have said on a number of occasions when driving, but it still is comical to have the 3 year old crystallize road rage in only 2 words.

I was still on edge much of the afternoon. It could have been the anticipation of these next 3 days. It could have been the fact that in 4 days I am going on a trip. It could just be total exhaustion. It probably doesn’t matter what it is. It just is. It should be an interesting week.

I managed to toss out a bag of toys from Dax’s room yesterday. Bobby was napping, so Dax and I dumped out all of the toys in his bins and I took out all the ones he had not used in ages, allowed him to grab any that had sentimental value to them, and the rest all went to the trash. Dax was pretty jazzed at the couple of finds which includes his three little bats he loved for so long that somehow had made their way into the bin. His room looked pretty damn good when we were done, so I was proud.

Friday afternoon we went to the park with my folks. They had a good time, although they didn’t ride their bikes as much as I had hoped, which was the inspiration for the outing in the first place. The problem with the trip was that they did ride their bikes there and back, which required some light jogging on my part. When I got home that night, the damage to my ankle was clear. I was in gobs of pain. Ken wrapped it and I also iced it. It still hurts this morning .

Saturday was a mixed bag. The morning started well with me bribing the boys to get dressed with first and second place lollipops for the drive out to see Grammie. We got out to where she lives about 45 minute early. Oops. We decided to hit up the local Target to kill some time and ended up pulling up to her place at the exact time my parents were arriving.

We went to lunch at Sizzlers, which was quite yummy. I even did good with my attempts at some Free Ranging with the boys. Dax and I went to the restroom and Bobby came with us. Bobby finished way earlier than Dax and he indicated that he could get back to the table on his own. I was pretty sure this was true, especially since I had let him do a similar run the night before at McDonalds. So I let him go. He made it with no issue and both he and I gained some good confidence. Not saying that I am going to let Bobby walk to school by himself yet (which was his request), but I am thinking the apron stings have been loosened a bit.

We got back to Grammie’s and the boys went with Ken on a couple of gulley adventures near the golf course and in her back yard. We hung out and visited and it was pretty clear that Dax started to lose patience. His exhaustion was shouting at us, so we headed out. He crashed in the car, thankfully. Bobby tried, but he fought it at the same time.

My plan had been early bed for all, but a promise made earlier in the day was for the boys to watch Avatar. They didn’t get to bed too late, only around 8. The movie was less annoying the second time, but the visuals certainly are not as stunning. Bobby loved it, but he has seen it twice. Dax enjoyed it, laughing at many scenes, which was fun.

I was unable to sleep last night. I tossed and turned all night, never able to get comfortable. I did not enjoy that. It is going to make the work tasks I have super sleepy making. I need to set up gobs of spreadsheets, and although it isn’t difficult, it is monotonous and I am pretty sure I will zone out.

I got some lip stain yesterday. I had been wanting to try it for some time. I am quite pleased with the color I chose and it goes on much easier than I expected. The only real problem is that the corners of my lips don’t seem to want to stay colored. I don’t know if that is my spit that washes it away. I have reapplied a couple times this morning. Hopefully it takes at some point. It is cool that it isn’t coming off on the other parts. I just added some lip gloss to it, so that is kind of fun. I like how without the gloss, it doesn’t feel like I have anything on my lips. This was my hopes so that I may wear lip color if Ken is around since he doesn’t like lip stick. The things I do for people.

Tomorrow night at Bobby’s school there is an open house. I think the plan is to walk up there and check it out. It will allow us to maybe let Bobby meet his teacher and we can verify what is needed for registration. I hope he likes the place. Of course, I hope I like the place, but his feelings towards it are a bit more important right now.

I think I managed to set aside all the clothes for the boys and I for the weekend. Ken is going to ship up the air mattresses today so that we don’t have to worry about those. What is nice, too, is Andy and Scott are not there Thursday night, so if need be, we may let the boys sleep in the other room the first night. We will see. We are also bringing the Wii, which is entertaining for all of us, so that will be good. We are probably going to take the balance board as a carry on just to save it from wear and tear. It is Ken’s job to pack the actual bag since he has Tetris mind, so he can make everything go into the smallest possible bag. There is some discussion of not checking any bags if he can get the clothing into the one suitcase instead of the duffel bag. Might not be horrid since there is wheels. We will see.

Ok, just found out there is no morning snack. Son of a bitch. The reason is because the breakfast is big. Not so big when I didn’t do my cantaloupe or the optional other chunk of salmon. Crap. Ok, so I am digging in to the cantaloupe right now. I am not going to eat it all, just a smidge to take the edge off. Thank goodness for my gum. I also realize I was supposed to bring some of the berries I got. Crap! I suck. On the plus side, I am eating some healthy food today and reducing my caloric intake. There have been days where I have gone with less food, so I just need to suck it up. It is more difficult when I am sitting at a desk all day. If I was out and about, I wouldn’t think about it as much. I am hoping that as I am getting involved in my work load, the urges subside.

I can safely say this diet sucks. Specifically for my day. I eat at 5:30 in the morning and with no snack, I don’t get to eat again until 11, which is when I eat lunch. My greatest success on dieting for losing weight was small portions, but still having small snacks in the day. Kind of like the eating every 2 to 3 hours type of situation. Of course, if tomorrow I end up eating the full recommended breakfast amount, perhaps I will be better off. It is only 3 days. I have to keep telling myself that.

Ken pointed out that nothing about this diet says it is for weight loss. It also sounds like a dude just trying to sell a book. I agree, but I hate to give in so easily. I feel like I need to go all the way or else I fail myself.

Got an interesting email over the weekend. Facebook, let me say, rules. I am loving all the people I have gotten in touch with. A couple of those folks include some Madison Elementary school alumni. My old friend, Kenway, emailed myself and Dawn to see if we wanted to perhaps get together for a mini reunion in a couple weeks. I love this!! These are people I went to kindergarten with (amusing since my son is going this year!) and through the power of the internet, are folks I can chit chat with. I told him I am way game and I think the plan is some night in May. Woo hoo!

I had been planning on not having the boys worry about backpacks for this trip, but I am rethinking this. If they each have their one friend, a blanket and maybe one other thing in there, it isn’t like it is super heavy or a big deal to run through the security. Plus, we can wear them if need be. Hmm..I am rethinking my plan.

Why is it that when they describe you as a fruit that it means you are gay and if you are in a vegetative state you are in a coma? I can safely say fruit sounds more appealing when you put it that way. Yet veggies are not doing themselves any favors.

I am considering experimenting with my salmon tonight and using salsa with it. I see a few recipes with that on it, so I am thinking it may work!

Ok, I am eating my salmon salad. It is pretty good! Esther made it with this Cajun spice and it is not bad! I put it on my greens and she made this lemon/olive oil dressing which makes it all pretty spicy and good. I only taste fish every now and again. She also told me I could eat more lettuce on it, so looking at how much fish I have today, I am going to add more lettuce tomorrow. The combo of tastes seems to compliment each other where I don’t have as much of a problem eating it all. I am also going to save a few bites of this to have Ken taste it when I get home. I am now eating my cantaloupe. Not one of the best ones I have had in a while. It doesn’t taste ripe enough. Oh well. It sounds like the fruits and veggies are an arrangement of eat all that you want. Then you just eat some salmon for the other parts.

Dinner is going to be the most interesting. I am making the asparagus tonight, and making the salmon on my own. I think I will manage, but the only thing keeping me from “cheating” is me. Ken thinks this diet is full of crap, and it isn’t like the boys would stop me from eating cake. So it will be a little scary. Actually, the one thing that makes it hard will be the lack of milk. I always have a glass of milk at night. Sometimes more, but as a pretty normal night, at least one. My co worker just told me I could drink my glass. She said why not? SO YAY!