Gotta Dance!

2-29-12


AYSO is starting to drain my soul.

Ok, that may be a bit dramatic, but seriously, they are getting a bit tedious here in my first couple months of being this involved. I have yet another meeting this week, this time a board meeting, which is tomorrow night. There is also a practice scheduled for tomorrow before said meeting with our new Spring League team. Yet as I am typing this, although there is only just now a released schedule for the upcoming games, said schedule doesn’t indicate which team number we are so I still don’t know what time the boys’ have a game on Saturday, that sadly I will miss. Yes, I am missing the very first game my boys play together. There is not a font large enough to express the ‘dammit’ that is going through my head and heart.

As if all of this wasn’t enough, I still need to figure out some financial records for tomorrow’s evening, plus I need to figure out how to turn in this deposit sheet. If this volunteer work keeps up at this blistering pace, I can assure you this will be my first and last year as Treasurer. I love being with the kids, I love the coaching aspect, but not so much on the other stuff.

Thankfully tomorrow I have made a mental note that I will not be at work. I have to go to the doc to get blood work done in the morning. I have found that the location I can go to opens at 6. This of course doesn’t mean that I will be done quickly, but at least it will be quicker than if I went in later. Since I have to fast in the morning for said testing, I might as well get a little extra sleep and then head to the doc’s office. Then I can take some time tomorrow and pack the boys, pack Ken and I, and get some general stuff done.

My dreams last night had me working, and my office at one point had its desk removed. I was confused, and spent a great deal of time looking for my boss to find out what the heck was going on. Then my purse was missing, and I again was concerned. By the end of the work day, I had only an empty work space, and my boss was clueless. I asked if I had been fired, and he said there was no way that would happen. So why was I missing so many key things?

I also had a dream in which I colored my hair a pale pink. It was fun. I eventually colored it to a rich mahogany color. It was also much shorter, and very straight. I liked it a lot.

I am feeling ill this morning. The effects of my meds occasionally hit me harder, especially when girl parts come into play. It makes me wish I had actually fasted this morning so that I could have gone to the lab now.

Next week I am leaving early on Thursday and Friday. Thursday, not as early, but I do need to make it to the school for Dax’s award. Woo hoo! Perfect attendance.

There is too much to do in a day and not enough hours.

I want to dance.

I want to sing.

I want to go on a hike with Luna.

The big project for tonight/this afternoon is the cemetery. Thankfully Dax’s homework in general doesn’t take too long, so while Bobby is working on his, Dax and I can get going on his project. I am hoping it will be fun and not frustrating.

He is getting so grown up!

2-27-12

I had not planned on a blog entry today. I have sitting next to me an entire stack of branches that need to be set up. No, not my standard work load, but because I am awesome times 12, I offered/was volunteered to help out my coworker. The only good thing about this is that it will keep my week focused being that it looks to be another busy week in the Brenan household.

Bobby’s party went without a hitch. He and I worked on cleaning the house in the morning while Ken and Dax did some running around to pick up things. It was a good gathering, especially since it was small. Sabrina and the Machado twins were a good guest list for the likes of the Brenan boys.

I did enjoy Bobby’s clear pride in being the older of the set. At one point, while Dax and Sabrina were playing in a cardboard box he and I had put outside for just this purpose, Bobby announces, “I knew the box would be good for the kids.”

The clues game was fun, despite the 5 year olds all getting slightly frustrated at the lack of being the first to find each clue. Even with their issues, they all seemed to enjoy it.

Bobby was thrilled with his bike and took to it quickly. I was a little concerned that he would have some issues with it being so much taller. But clearly the larger size frame was now the correct sizing for him. My little boy is growing so fast. He even lost another tooth on Saturday!

Sunday was a rarity in my house; I was lazy! Ken had a birthday party to work, and even though I could have gone out to my grandmother’s house, the boys and I opted to hang out at home. They played outside on their bikes, they played inside with Star Wars toys, they played! That was great for them. No places we had to be, no chores that had to be done. They needed that.

I watched My Date With Drew, which was incredibly cute and I am glad I took the time to finally sit down and watch it. I also watched some Glee when Ken returned home. But as always is the case, I was much to antsy to sit around too much.

The 4 of us took a nice bike ride around the neighborhood, which we all enjoyed aside from Ken being in gobs of pain. I wish he had stopped, but he is actually the one who pushed us further.

We then went in search of our neighbor, Mike. He had been transferred from the hospital to hospice care in a house in Long Beach. We went out there only to find out he had been transported to ER earlier in the day because he isn’t eating. The doctors are saying his Alzheimer’s is getting worse due to how much drinking he was doing. Maria told us he seemed to be in and out of clarity.

We got to the hospital and Ken and Bobby went in first. Dax and I went in after, and Mike recognized us instantly. He first went on and on about how great I look, and told me he loved my new hair. Sadly, I could not say the same about him. He was gaunt and frail. It was actually very sad. But, his spirit was there. He was the same chatty, Harvey Firestone sounding man I have known for so long. He chatted us up way longer than Dax wanted to be there, but this was actually pretty characteristic of him, which was cool just because it was nice to see him so like himself. After Dax and I said goodbye, Ken went back in alone for a bit since apparently he was more chatty with Dax and I, which was cool. He was a lot more talkative with Ken the second round. I am very glad we went.

Sadly, my stress and hormones got the best of me last night. I exploded at Ken when it was close to 6, I was trying to make dinner, shower the boys, and everything was taking too long. I freaked because Ken was on the computer, and not jumping in to help until I said something. It was silly for me to get so angry, but I clearly had a lot of stuff bottled up for the past few days.

Ok, I know this was short, but I really do need to work on these accounts.

Accident

2-24-12


It felt like a movie.

I had the phone up to my ear and although the number indicated it was Ken, the man on the other line was not my husband. He proceeded to tell me my friend was there and that he had injured himself pretty badly. I struggled to keep the cheery smile on my face because as this terrifying news was being relayed to me, Dax was bounding up to me as his class was released.

I quickly got Ken’s whereabouts as I gestured to Dax to stay by my bike and their scooters while I sprinted up to retrieve Bobby. “Stay calm. Stay calm” is what went through my head a thousand times. I needed to get the boys to understand that we needed to quickly get home so that we could rush to his side. I also needed to keep them from freaking out.

I had the forethought to grab pencils, crayons and the boys’ homework before we ran out to the car. I had no idea how long we would be in the hospital, so I might as well keep the boys busy.

As I navigated the gobs of traffic, I got the notification on my phone that I had voicemails. I was annoyed since I would have rather been able to answer the call. Stupid fucking phone. Two calls were Ken, both incoherent and not helpful in the least in calming my nerves. Aaron had left a message, too, which said Ken was in route to the hospital. My destination had now changed from Ken rescue to getting to the hospital before they had to inject my needle-phobic husband.

I pulled into Torrance Memorial where Ken was slumped on the ground in the parking structure, having just arrived via a Good Samaritan. Thank goodness the peeps at Torrance Memorial decided to put in ER valet parking!! Holy fuck that was a brilliant idea. They were also incredibly sweet and understanding at my rushed demeanor as I gathered the children and rushed over to Ken who was just being put into a wheelchair.

Ken looked rough. He was writing in pain, pale and covered in numerous scrapes and bruises. His right sock was soaked in blood and you could see that it had originated from the bandaged area on his shin. His calf even looked a little swollen.

I checked him in and we went to sit in the waiting room, a hell for anyone who is in agony.

Dax got spooked. He broke out into a cold sweat and he considered throwing up in the trash can. I quickly entertained Bobby with my iTouch, settled Ken in and rushed Dax to the bathroom. He had on two shirts, so I quickly removed one to cool him off. He used the restroom and I cooled him off with some damp paper towels. Thankfully after only a bit of crying, he calmed down enough for us to go back to the others. I handed him the iPad and tended to Ken’s needs.

His pain came in sharp, constant waves. He couldn’t get comfortable and then resorted to lying on the floor with his leg propped up. His actions I think prompted the staff to up his triage standing. His blood pressure was quite low, and the wound looked gross. We were in the waiting area and triage for about 45 minutes.

They took us to another area that was I guess for the quicker treatment. It was basically for overflow and for younger folks that didn’t need things like an EKG or things like that. We got to be in a room which allowed me to set the boys up with homework while Ken met with the doctor.

They removed Ken’s bandages and told him they would need to flush it out. They were going to inject him with Novocain. I think I actually heard the increase in Ken’s heart beat when he saw the needle they brought in. I actually had him grip my arms so that he could stay still and be calm enough for it to happen. He was so panicked that he actually freaked out several times BEFORE they even jabbed him.

I watched them inject it. It looked painful. But they got it done with me sustaining minimal injuries while Ken was gripping my arm.

The flushing was cool looking. They had these splash guards on the syringe that were just amazing. Simple features, yet their simplicity is what I think was so fascinating.

The slice went down to his bone. It also had knicked pieces of his muscle. It was pretty cool. It looked so fake! The bright pink flesh all puffy and clean with pooling blood from time to time; it all was just so surreal.

Dax wanted to see, and he laughed at it. His shock must not have been so much blood based as it was just seeing his father reduced to a crumpled mess. Bobby, however, was less disturbed at Ken’s weakness. He was horrified at the gash. He went up to look, at first excited to see it, but then once the visual was in his little brain, the circuits went haywire. You could seem him starting to freak out, so I quickly scooped him up and rushed him out of the room. Ken didn’t even see us go. Poor kid burst into tears and was shaking. I calmed him down and explained that his reaction was super normal. This did seem to help. Dax came out and we all talked about it a bit and it was understood that Daddy was ok, his wound, although kinda gross, was fixable, and that all of our reactions were totally ok.

Ken got stitched up with 7 large stitches. It was cool to watch, although I was mostly distracted trying to keep the still woozy Bobby on task with finishing homework and keeping Dax entertained by putting the multiple drawings he was doing for me in my pocket. I was the multi-tasking Mama!

They also decided to get some x-rays on his leg. Since it still was not clear on what exactly cut him, they wanted to make sure there were no cracks or bone spurs floating around. They also prescribed him some super antibiotics to make sure no infection would take over. Thankfully, the X-Rays were negative and they hooked him up with Tylenol with Codeine and Ibuprofen.

Ken could walk, which is good, but he is still pretty fucked up. All night, although hopped up on narcotics, he whimpered in his restless sleep. He doesn’t remember this. I worry about him today.

On our way out of the hospital, we were treated to a cool event. The new hospital building was putting up its final beam. They had a whole ceremony going on, with donors and doctors and contractors watching from the parking structure. We were next to the beam, and got to watch them raise it up. They just happened to be doing this 3 minutes after we walked out of the ER! Very cool.

My stress filled afternoon was not over yet. We still had to get to Ralph’s to get Ken’s meds, go home to get the Halldale flyer for the fundraiser night at McDonald’s, go get said food, eat, and then Ken and I had an AYSO meeting!! I considered taking on of my few precious remaining Xanax, but opted against it and had some iced tea instead. Thank goodness that even though the AYSO meeting was mind numbingly boring and insanely long, I didn’t have to think much in it.

I find myself sitting at work now, still in stress overdrive. My house appears to be filled with more Lego than ever. I had planned on doing more cleaning of the place yesterday until the adventure began.

That being said, my understanding of what took place to cause the accident is still a little fuzzy in my head. Ken was riding his bike home from Dr. Weston’s when apparently the auto-shift feature failed. This caused Ken to flip the bike and he did a complete tumble in the middle of the street. Thankfully a nice bus driver and other random guy helped Ken stop the massive bleeding and it was the bus driver who actually phoned me. Ken said the pool of blood on the sidewalk was impressive. Sadly Ken was too out of it to take a pic. Perhaps a field trip is in order later.

I am going to leave work early today. I am thinking around 10. I was going to leave at noon, but if I leave a little earlier, I can do some of the last minute housework for tomorrow before I go get cupcakes for Bobby’s class. I think that I am going to leave Ken at home after school and take the boys to my folks’ where they can do the birthday boxes. This way Ken can rest. Then I will let Bobby pick dinner. We can pick it up and bring it home. Mellow birthday evening and then we can prep for the fun tomorrow.

In the morning, we will go to Target. They are doing a reading of the Lorax, which will be super fun. Plus, since the birthday party isn’t until 1:30, we have plenty of time. I want to go pick up some balloons, and I need to set up clues, and get some chips. My blog is becoming a shopping list!! I need to breathe!!!

Shopping for the party

2-23-12

In a disturbingly accurate cliché moment, I discovered that my mood yesterday may have been enhanced by the hormone demons that visit monthly. On the plus side, at least I don’t have to deal with that aspect of being a woman next week when we are Vegas bound.

On Tuesday evening, Bobby told us that his homework packet was not in his mailbox. We assumed he missed it, but it wasn’t there yesterday, either. Mrs. Kelly assured us it was put there, but I am starting to wonder if perhaps someone accidently took his packet. On Monday, I am going to have to remember to check his backpack at school so that we make sure he has it at the start of the week.

It was a hectic, yet productive evening. Our outings took us to Dollar Tree, Sally’s Beauty Supply, Party City and JoAnne’s, with a quick jaunt to Ralph’s. We managed to find handy dandy notebooks and crayons for Saturday. We also found good paw prints for our clues along with a red table cloth for the picnic table. JoAnne’s even had a paw print cake tin, which although is not as cute as the cupcake idea, it will be significantly easier.

Sadly, we are shopping for tombstones at the wrong time of year. But we did manage to find some great substitutes. Turns out popsicle sticks will work perfect! Plus, Ken has a stamp that can be changed so we can stamp RIP on all of them. The other good news with this project is that Mrs. Fasheh decided to go ahead and have the whole class do it, which gives us another week to work on it. YAY! We are going to head over to a couple of miniature shops to see about trees.

I was hoping for a less crazed evening tonight, but a last minute AYSO meeting popped up. So much for going to bed at a reasonable hour.

I didn’t go to bed as early as I like to last night, either. That was my fault, though. As I mentioned, one of my outings was to Sally’s which was to procure hair treatment. My hair is significantly lighter, and I also was told to get this shampoo which takes out the reddish and gold tints. So far I am pleased!

The other fun thing while at Sally’s was us chatting with the staff (who seems to adore us all). At one point, one of the ladies asked the boys what they wanted to be when they grow up. Bobby answered that he wanted to be a worker man like his mom. Dax wants to be a parade worker who throws beads. Those kids freaking rock.

Horoscope

I don't tend to read them anymore, but when I do, it is always amusing when they seem so spot on:

"You're used to being in your head and living life through your thoughts and ideas. That's why today could be tricky for you. You're feeling more emotional than usual. Your mind may be full of images and impressions, but they're abstract at best. It's hard to make sense of them. Maybe you shouldn't even try. It's okay to have a day or two of fuzzy thinking and general confusion. Your wits will sharpen again soon."

internal growl

2-22-12

I don’t like it when I can’t put my finger on it. I feel anxious and frustrated and angry for no real reason. Yes, I have plenty of things to ‘stress’ about, but even when I go over the list in my head I stop and think, well, that isn’t so bad.

I got annoyed at a police officer this morning. They had cop cars in an intersection on my way to work, clearly there because the lights were out. The officers didn’t want to be there. They didn’t even get out of their cars to direct traffic. When you approached the intersection, you didn’t know what they wanted of you. Yet I watched them glare at several motorists, who were simply trying to figure out what was allowed. I know I am out of sorts when something so trivial annoys the shit out of me.

Some of this pent up energy could be Bobby induced. Once again, he came home from school yesterday on a red card. He was chatter boxing in class, which drove poor Mrs. Kelly to have to talk to Ken yesterday. Not only did Bobby screw up in class, he forgot his homework packet, again. I was not happy.

Luckily, I was able to have him do a couple of book reports, since I know that those will have to be done. However, we needed a punishment. We have a list of 1st grade words (about 100) and we told him he would have to write them all. The other punishment would be that he could not go to my parents’ house with Dax and I and that he would go with Ken to his class, sit in another room, and work on these words. He seemed ok with this.

Something didn’t sit right with me about his compliance. I didn’t want to let him go to Ken’s class. I don’t know what it was. I thought maybe it was just because I didn’t want to punish my mom on not being able to see him. So I asked Ken if we could have him just work on the words before Dax and I were leaving, and if he didn’t finish, he would have to finish them at my folks’. Bobby did not like this. Turns out, he was more worried about my parents giving him shit for being on red. Yeah, I took him to my folks’. Yeah, I told them and you can be assured, my dad did rib him quite a bit, which upset Bobby greatly. Sometimes you have to make punishment up as you go.

The other big punishment, which I didn’t expect to be so powerful, was that while at their house, he would not be allowed his standard bag of cookies and cup of juice my mom gives them. He was devastated. Turned out he was in agony over this. He tried to butter up my mom, but luckily she didn’t fall for it.

The evening felt crazed. There was laundry to put away, sheets to change and showers to be taken. The work day was one of frustration and aggravation which really left me drained. I was happy to watch some HIMYM before bed.

I have this strange desire to give up something for Lent. I know I am not Catholic, but the idea of sacrifice sounds interesting. Of course, it needs to be something starting today, and I have not given too much thought into it before now, so not sure it will work, but I may need to give it further thoughts before the end of the day.

weekend at the compound-this time with beads!

2-21-12

Papa Brenan showed up at our house on Thursday evening and offered a most unusual opportunity for the boys. He asked if they would like to fly up to the Compound with him on Friday. He would pick them up from school around noon and then the three of them would fly up to Sacramento, at which point he would drive them up to the house. They were thrilled! This also meant Ken and I would be able to get a good head start on a potentially traffic laden drive. Plus, it meant a 7 hour ride with none of the standard, “are we there yet” questions.

Ken and I were on the road by 10. We texted with Andy not far outside of Sacramento and I informed him we were without kids this trip. He thought I was joking until I sent him a pic of the empty back seat. We even stopped by their house and he was surprised. Sadly, I could not keep up the joke. I told them that the boys were actually at the airport (they had just landed around the time we got to Andy’s).

While at their place for a few minutes, I was extremely excited when Scotty saw my hair and told me he loved it! I got the Gay Yay! Woo hoo!!!

We got up to the house before Papa Brenan and the boys. We opted to not tell Grandma. She ran out to greet us, and we said hello, and you could see she was looking around for her grandchildren. We told her they were not with us. We explained they were with the Grandfolk. We of course didn’t tell her which Grandfolk. We played dumb about Papa Brenan’s whereabouts. She was upset, but clearly was trying to not be angry that we would come all the way up with no kids.

The sound of our boys broke the tension about 30 minutes after we got there, and the boys even played along with a loud, “Boo!” when they came into the kitchen. It was an awesome sigh of relief.

Saturday was a busy day. We had a couple of outings, leaving the boys to play with their grandparents for a bit. I was pleased that when we were up there, the four of them really hung out and bonded. It made me very happy.

There were two grand occasions that needed celebrating on Saturday. The first was Christmas. There were many presents for the boys from multiple family members that needed opening. They were quite pleased with their Angry Bird shirts and game. There was also candy that I am pretty sure would have been devoured fully by Dax had I not confiscated it.

That evening, we celebrated Bobby’s birthday. He got lots of Star Wars things, including these little squishy figures they both are in love with right now. What was super sweet was that Bobby got a large box of them and a smaller one. He offered to Dax that he could have the smaller box so they could share. I was impressed! These little squishy guys were the hit of the weekend and they played with them for a couple of hours, setting them up on dominoes and making them fly around the house. It was really nice to see this kind of playing.

Sunday was really the best day. Nevada City was having a Mardi Gras parade. We went down and wandered the street faire first, and then found a spot to watch the parade. Broad Street is a nice long street that goes through the heart of town. We assumed the parade would be tiny, but it turned out to be a pretty good sized event, with lots of participants. We were mostly concerned with getting beads for the boys, and by the time the parade was over, we had not disappointed. They each were weighed down by the tons of beads we had procured for them.

At one point, in between parade groups, there were some beads in the middle of the street. Since both sides of the street had portable small fencing keeping the spectators out of the celebration, no one could get to the beads. Plus, there were a couple of volunteer guards who were patrolling the area. One woman in particular was a stickler for no one being allowed in the street. She yelled at several people who climbed the barrier or who were walking up the street in the middle instead of going on one of the sides. So during this break in parade flow, we saw that the guard was distracted. Ken dropped Dax over the barrier and told him to run get the beads. He did, and was super cute when he did. He mad dash across and back resulted in the crowd erupting in cheers. It was the absolute best part of the whole parade!

One of the groups in the parade was a bunch of awesome soap box cars. There was a coffin, a port a potty, and other awesome vehicles. What was really funny is that I had just been saying that this street would be fantastic for a soap box derby. Sure enough, I was not the only one who thought this. In June, they would be racing these down this street! YAY! We will be heading back to the Compound for this fun event!

Although our days were mostly filled with fun, Ken and I were sleepy most of the time. Between the bed being insanely uncomfortable, Luna and Lycos being vocal all night, and various random sounds like melting snow, we did not get a whole lot of sleep.

I did manage to get in some walking. Andy, Mom, the boys and I walked down to the end of the driveway, which is a half mile down, which means it is also a half mile up a pretty significant incline. I not only walked it, I walked it well! I was only slightly winded, and didn’t need to stop in the middle of the biggest part of the hill, which is something I would have had to do before. I did have Ken come pick up the bikes (the boys rode them down) and Lycos. My poor old pup would have collapsed.

Miss Luna had a hell of a time with Bella. Bella is a 18 month old Boxer idiot. I suppose all Boxers are idiots, or at least all the ones the Brenans seem to get. Bella was thrilled to have another pup to play with and Luna was happy at first, too. In fact, they mostly played a lot. The only problem was that Bella did not have an off switch. She chewed on my poor Luna constantly. You could tell Luna was trying desperately to not have to kill this dog. Thank goodness my pup is patient. A couple of times she would run to hide behind me, and I did the full Mama Bear thing with Bella and growled at her as Luna laughed behind me. It was pretty fun.

Bella also jumped up on Bobby several times, knocking him down when he had anything in his hand that this dog might want. She also was tugging at Dax’s PJ’s and upsetting him a bit. Needless to say, Bella was constantly trying to win me over after I had to scold her several times.

Bobby became toothless Sunday morning. His front tooth finally dangled enough that I could yank it out with no pain to the kid. He already started talking funny, which was super endearing. Thankfully, we had brought the tooth goblin with us, so he was able to hold on to the tooth and also presented Bobby with a little token prize. It was just another one of those Star Wars guys, but he was THRILLED! I was happy to not be one of the masses who gives their kid $10 for a tooth. That seemed excessive. His new tooth is already peeking. He also has another loose one on the bottom. Dax does, too. The goblin will be getting a lot of work here soon!

We said goodbye to the Compound Monday morning. My plan was to leave by 7, but we got out about 8, which isn’t too bad. Thankfully, despite a rather traffic filled drive, our speeds didn’t dip down too much, and we kept at a pretty good pace. The boys watched several Star Wars flicks, and Dax even took a nap. And even though it could have been one of those tough trips, Ken and I managed to keep it fun and we chatted the whole time, coming up with ideas for things like Bobby’s party this Saturday and what needs to be done for Dax’s cemetery. It will be a busy week!

I got my dress for Vegas. I pulled it out of its packaging and my first thought was, fuck. This thing is way too small for me. I went in and put it on. When it zipped up, with leeway, I about passed out. It is a super cute dress, and perhaps too dressy for the occasion, but honestly, I don’t care. My ass fit in this dress!!! WOO FUCKING HOO!

Mr. Bobby wants a Blue’s Clue’s party. So the plan is to do three clues as to what his present is. Then three clues as to where it is hidden. We will need to get these paw prints that Ken can get from Pacific. I need a red table cloth since we will be converting the picnic table into the “Thinking Chair”. It is a small party, and we have to clean house and get out some invites to the couple of kids he is asking from school. Should be cute!

Friday I will leave work early to take cupcakes down to his class, too. That will be so dang much fun!! Note to self; make sure to bring a cupcake for Dax, too!

Sunday may be crazy. I think we may be heading out to Grammie’s for her birthday celebration. During that, I am also considering making a stop out in Murrietta to pick up some items from Sandra. Oh, and Ken has a birthday party. Sheesh! I would say some of these things will not be easy to accomplish.

Interesting news; Angela just told me she is moving back to LA in the next couple months.

I am gearing up for a crazy day today. Having been gone from work for a day and a half, I had some catch up to tend to. Plus, it looks like Super Gena needs to save the day with some help with backlogged stuff for some colleagues. Not to mention the running around town for stuff. Let’s get to it!