spazbot

12-6-13

I get to go home in 2 hours!

I had a bit of a mini breakdown yesterday. I was already frustrated after spending a couple hours training a girl at work on reports. I am a lousy teacher, but on top of that I have no patience for people who have been with a company and worked in accounting like we do for as long as we have and yet they don’t understand basic Excel functionality. However, I was really thrown when this person didn’t even know how to toggle in Windows. Sigh. Yeah, it was one of those kind of training sessions.

My mom sends me an email around noon. She came from a place of concern. She didn’t want to butt in, but it was time to bring it up. Apparently Bobby was at school today and just looked rough. His hair was a mess and he looked almost uncared for. This isn’t news to me in some ways. I have this fight with my children daily. Bobby has long hair that needs to be taken care of almost religiously. Dax tends to think that with short hair he doesn’t have to brush it. Ken has been going with the “teach them independence” method and will remind but doesn’t enforce. In some ways, I almost didn’t get involved since Ken always gets on me for messing with their routine since I get upset if he messes with mine. I understand all of this and I think despite my frustration with it, I was trying to not nag and let Ken handle the kids in the morning.

My mom’s points were valid. If a kid looks all dirty and to some degree, uncared for, other kids will unconsciously treat them different. Plus, it is a skill and lesson that we are supposed to instill in our kids to have them take personal grooming seriously. They need to shower and brush teeth and eat decent food and dress appropriately for the weather. Hair brushing goes hand in hand with teaching them how to grow up.

I think I was embarrassed. I was upset because I felt like this was something I had told the household to handle every morning as part of routine. I had already come home a few times this last week to find cereal out and toilet seats still up and just general things that always seem to me, a control freak, should be easy to get accomplished in the multiple hours they have in the morning. Once again, I assume every works at my crazy speed. This coming from a woman who gets up at 4 and is at work at 4:30. This means I shower, dress, get my lunch together and drive into work and still manage to make it look good.

I kind of jumped down poor Ken’s throat when I got home. Luckily he called me out on it quickly and we discussed a game plan. Today I am picking up a couple of new brushes. Stephanie told me about one that really helps with Sabrina’s hair. The other is one I read about that has rave reviews and is hand size which may make it easier for Bobby. I also had a talk with the boys about hygiene. Bobby seemed to really take it to heart. He agreed that we should braid his hair nightly. He also is going to take steps to learn how to pull his hair back. It was a calm discussion, and I pointed out that they were not in trouble. Dax understand he also needs to brush his hair. He also is going to get a hair cut since he wants it his normal short so brushing takes like no time at all.

I feel bad how much it upset me, but I guess I just assumed it was something I would have to take on as another thing to handle. I felt like this was something that we all needed to work together on, and I wasn’t sure the rest of my team was up to it. This is me being awful. I need to have more faith in my family, my team, to know that they trust me on what is important and if I am calm about what I feel needs to be addressed instead of my normal spazzed out self, things will change and be good.

I am shockingly wired this morning. I don’t know how this is possible. I had the board meeting last night, that I might add that I went to with a nice buzz from both the excitement of getting to see Santa with the boys and a large glass of Mangria, which got me home later than my normal bedtime. On top of that, Ken watched a couple of Big Bang Theory episodes, which normally doesn’t distract me but I found myself at the very least listening to the show and laughing a lot which sadly kept me up even later. Maybe I am just jazzed that I get to watch the boys this morning get their awards and as if that wasn’t treat enough, I get to hit up Target by myself this morning.

Ken kicked some serious as on Steve yesterday. The whole back yard looks amazing now. He cleared out most of the debris pile and has it looking as if we almost had no debris to start with! He also put in a couple shelves in the hall closet. He did some painting work and a bunch of other little things, all of which are making for a fantastic looking Steve. It is all so freaking exciting!

Tomorrow morning we are going to work on organizing the catio along with clearing the last bit of clutter from the family room. Hopefully we can put in some shelves in the other closets, too, which will make it all much easier to organize. I have a box full of more stuff to take to Savers. I even got rid of a bag of jewelry, which is a big deal to me. I am getting rid of so much stuff! I am excited about this. I am in this amazing mindset in which I know I am in the house I will die in. I know that the décor is not changing to incorporate some of my old stuff and I am shockingly ok with this. I know it is time to move on. This includes a giant box of ducks that I plan on going through. I have a lot of random duck items that I just had because they were ducks. I think it is time to get rid of a lot of this.

I felt more involved with the board meeting last night than I normally do. I actually listened and cared a bit about the random things they talked about. I was even involved, asking questions and offering suggestions on things that I would normally just stay out of. It almost seemed like I knew what I was talking about, which cracked me up. I also had to explain some basic accounting to people, which can be fun, but in other ways it is just annoying.

All of that being said, I am in a strange love/hate relationship with being treasurer. I started working on a whole new budget plan for the region. I also felt slightly more protective of money spent last night than I normally would. It was me taking on ownership in a way I didn’t plan on doing. This puts me into shock at how much I enjoy the challenge, which makes me hate that I am doing this and then I feel tugged in all different directions that make me get freaked out and I want to bail.

Yesterday I had planned on bowing out, but I am still sticking with it for a while longer. I am hoping that my inspired self keeps my disenchanted self in check for just long enough to get the position in a good way before leaving.