A+ weekend!

10-5-09

What a crazy ass weekend!

It started with Friday afternoon when I got home from work. Ken and I ran over to Halldale Elementary to make nice with Bobby’s future principal. We talked to both the vice principal and the head one. I liked him a lot, but the principal? Not sure how I feel just yet. She was nice, but still a hint condescending. Then again, she seemed stressed. It is the beginning of a new school year, it was a Friday afternoon, and now she was dealing with parents of kids that don’t even attend her school yet. She could have been way worse.

It was very surreal to be there. We were in a school, talking to principals about our kids. Ken deals with principals all the time, and even he said it was odd. I realize it will happen more and more in general, but the first time, pretty crazy.

The outcome is that they will not do an assessment, and gave me the same number. They gave me a stack of paperwork and pamphlets, so I have some reading to do later before I call to get the assessment done. I have a feeling my mom is going to be pissed at this school.

Friday evening we went out to get costumes for the boys. They now are both fully equipped with a Optimus Prime and Bumblebee costume. Very fun. I also picked up my “Dax” costume. Since it is just a mask and I think a collar, I am going to wear it with my ball gown. I figure make it look like some fancy ball mask set up thing. Truly, I am not going anywhere except trick or treating with the boys, so my costume isn’t as important.

We went to dinner at Hometown Buffet, which was good since I was still pretty tired from little sleep the night before. We got home and were able to watch our How I Met Your Mother DVD’s that had arrived from Netflix. YAY!

Saturday morning came much to quickly. We spent the morning cleaning house. I got very into it, breaking out the Comet to scrub sinks and counters, and really made the place shine. We got done, and got ready since Doug and Elizabeth were in route around 12:20.

They arrived and we all loaded into the Mom Van and headed over to the shuttle spot. Matt was going to meet us there. We got there at the perfect time since there was a bus ready for us there. Awesome! Matt didn’t talk to Doug. Not even saying hello. He didn’t even say hi to me. He grabbed whichever kid would let him (which time was Dax) and he sat with Dax on the bus. Dax would eventually get irritated with Matt and refused to walk with him. I think Matt’s watch kept catching Dax’s hair. Bobby was feeling mommy centric all day (he knew we were going out later) so would have nothing to do with Matt.

The Fair was cool. It was way hotter out then I expected. We walked through everything, and I was able to chit chat with Doug a bit. It wasn’t the best visiting style of outing, but it was cool. The boys played a couple games, won lollipops and a couple toys. They also won goldfish! Dax won 2, Bobby won 1, and Ken won 1 (which meant Bobby got 2). It was so great! They now reside in Dax’s new fish tank. They were so proud.

Oh, quick note. Poor Leonard passed away over the weekend, so Bobby will need himself a new lizard at some point. We did put Leonard into one of the paper coffins that Brandy had made for some function, and our plan is to bury him in the yard so they could say their goodbyes properly.

We went into the kid area of the fair. It was cool since nothing cost anything! There was this giant inflated tube thing with what looked like a giant penis at the end where the kids come out at the end of the tube. Bobby loved the hell out of it, Dax was not having any of it. Dax was also quite tired, as neither of them had napped.

We walked over and went into the petting zoo, too. The boys really enjoyed that. Both were not scared, which was awesome! The other things there were not ones they could go on. Both were too young. Some day soon, though.

We headed home at that point. Doug and Elizabeth played with the boys outside for a bit. Doug really is quite taken with them, so that is awesome.

They headed out, as did Ken, who had to go get Chelsea. I got ready, and got the boys fed, cleaned up and dressed for bed. I didn’t want Chelsea to have to worry about much. We had purchased the Monsters Vs Aliens the night before and debuted it at that point knowing that since they had not seen it much (I only know for sure once at the theatre, but with Maria, who knows) that it would fully distract them. It also gave a good end time for them to go to bed. Sure enough, both were zoned while Ken and I finished getting ready since we started it before we left.

Bobby did break down. It is this horrible mournful cry he does, constantly trying to stop me by saying, “Wait, I want to tell you something” through his giant tears and sobs. Heartbreaking on every level. Ken told me we just needed to go and let him calm down. Chelsea confirmed later that he cried for about 10 minutes and then was fine. He was tired. Dax fell asleep during the movie and Chelsea just left him sleeping on the couch. Bobby was asleep in his bed. So it was an uneventful night at home, thankfully.

Ken and I went to his reunion. I expected to only know a couple people. Aaron decided to go, which was cool. Matt, Sean and Alysse were there, so there were some friendly faces. Although, I didn’t talk to any of them much, if at all. I think I talked the most to Sean, but even that wasn’t much. Ken got me a Long Island when we got there, and over the course of the night, I had I think about 4.

Ken had not expected to enjoy the evening. He didn’t think he would remember anyone. In fact, he knew quite a few people, who also seemed genuinely excited to see him. He left me several times, which basically left me to wander. I took pictures of the place and just kind of observed, which was cool.

When we first walked into the place, Ken had to run back to get his checkbook from the car. I started chatting it up with this super sweet girl behind me who mentioned feeling under dressed. I told her that actually, I saw her dress when she was walking up from the parking lot and had noted how cute it was. She was nice, and we talked a bit, and then Ken got back and there was the task of finding his badge. I saw the girl again a few times, when it finally occurred to Ken that he knew this woman. In fact, it was a woman he sort of dated in high school. It was one of those romances that didn’t go as far as it should have with both regretting this later on. Ken was clueless back then and didn’t realize how much she liked him. They talked and reminisced and Ken was so very happy to see her. She and I got along great and talked a bit, danced, etc. It was good!

Ken also was jazzed when this popular girl he crushed on from afar remembered him and was excited to see him, too. She also was very sweet. I have to admit, I felt pretty nervous at first in the idea that here were two incredibly sweet, pretty, funny and great girls that were there, and yet he was still with me. I wondered how I lucked out. Of course, both are happily married, but it still crosses your mind. However, despite my normal reaction to just shut down and get all territorial, I embraced his past, and decided to just know I rock and it isn’t me that is the lucky one, it is Ken. It allowed my evening to be fantastic!

During a good chunk of time while Ken had left me, drunk at a table by myself, I did end up talking to a couple of spouses who also had been sort of ditched for a while. One woman, who’s wife had been class of 89, was also class of 93 like me, just not at Costa. She and I talked about our kids and all that fun stuff. I also ended up meeting another class of 93 (also not from Costa) who was looking for her husband. She was nice, too.

I was way too excited when the mascots showed up.

I loved the little confetti mustangs.

At one point in the evening, I was sitting alone, for a while, so I drunk texted Jenni and Stephanie. Poor girls. They were very sweet to answer me. LOL! Jenni suggested I pretend I was class of 89 and just act like I totally remembered people. I considered this, but determined that I was way too drunk to pull that off.

Once again, my normal reaction to being ditched for a half an hour would be to be pissed off. Instead, I just rolled with it. Ken finally came back to get me and was about to run off, when I told him to take me with him. So we headed into the thick crowd to visit with people.

I feel like I did cram his style a bit. I wonder if he wouldn’t have had more fun without me. But if that was the case, he didn’t say. I had fun.

Sean’s old band member, Paul was there, to which I was actually able to admit my 20 year old crush. He was very sweet about the whole thing. And still freaking hot! He had actually married I guess one of the rather popular girls from that class, which was way cute.

I was dancing, hanging out at this one table (Ken had left again) when one of the girls on the dance floor brought me out to dance with her. So I danced with several of the ladies I had kind of chatted it up with through the night. That was fun. At one point I also tried to get the giant black security guard to dance with me. He was super sweet, but declined. He apologized later saying he would have gotten in trouble. But he also said goodnight to me later as we were heading out. I felt like I had made a good impression on a lot of people. And besides, it is always fun to flirt with random people even if it means nothing.

Ken came out and danced a bit with me, and we danced with Sean, Kasey (his old girlfriend) and Melissa (the old crush). It was a lot of fun. But as the evening wore on, my buzz slowly ran out, my feet really started to hurt, and I determined it was about time to call it a night.

We left about 11:30 (which was a good 30 minutes later then the evening was supposed to last). Ken had not even planned on staying the whole time. All in all, the night was awesome.

I crashed hard when we got home. Ken had to take Chelsea home, so I went to bed. I woke up at like 7 in the morning when my phone was binging with twitter and Facebook updates.

I had a great desire for pancakes. It seems like the ultimate in after drinking dining. I posted this on Facebook, and when Ken read it, he made us all pancakes. Woo hoo!

We opted to take the boys to the museum to see the spider exhibit. It was cool. They enjoyed it. We also went and looked at dinosaur bones, per Bobby’s request. They love it down there.

We came home and had the boys rest while we watched more HIMYM. Afterwards, I got some ambition and opted to work on Bobby’s closet. We through out a ton of crap, organized some of the books better, and now have made the closet more functional. I am considering putting a couple of things in there, making his room cleaner, and making the closet an actual functional part of his room. It was a lot of crazy, though, so that may not happen until this afternoon.

The boys played out back a lot on Sunday. Now that both can kind of be on their own for large chunks of time, and can come in and out as they please, it is super great for us. Ken and I could work on Bobby’s room, still hear them outside through his window, and everyone was happy.

I made dinner and the boys had some bath time. Ken told me to go ahead and get online since I had barely been on all day. During this time, Kasey chatted me. I am looking forward to being Facebook buddies with her, and possibly friends since she doesn’t live too far away. But I have to admit, some of my insecurities were messing with me. Earlier in the day, Ken had chatted with her several times. Once when he got home from dropping off Chelsea, once in the morning, and later all afternoon. I didn’t care. I mean, let’s face it, they were good friends back then, and they were still catching up. However, at one point, I saw the chat when Ken was away from the computer. She had written something along the lines of, for the record, you were an amazing kisser. She also said that she hopes that he kisses me a lot, and he said that we try. That was all I read. I felt guilt from even having looked.

I totally understand that kind of talk. Shoot, it needed to be said. When you meet up with an old flame, it is one of those things you talk about. My twinge of insecurity was there, but I was mostly fine. I am also allowed to have the jealousy. It isn’t like it means that I am upset or anything. I just recognize that there is a girl that Ken could have. That’s all.

Ken kept trying to get me to chat with Kasey all day. I wanted to chat with her, but not so forced. It was like he was trying to get my approval of her. It was odd, and I didn’t like that aspect, but once again, I let it go.

So at the point when we were chatting, which was totally fine, Ken comes out of the bathroom from having just washed the boys, and I tell him he should be happy, I am now talking to Kasey.

He seemed defensive from the start. I told him that look, I am so going against every normal reaction from me on this one. I normally would be freaking out, saying bad things about the girl, and just being a bitch. Instead, I really like her a lot, and I think it is cute they crushed on one another more then they let on when they had the chance, and I am happy they can be friends now.

But even so, I did have a twinge of jealousy. I told him this. He pretty much dismissed my emotion from the get go. It was like I wasn’t even allowed an occasional moment of doubt. It was incredibly unfair. He yelled a bit, I yelled, it was bad. I was so drained from the weekend, I broke down. I sobbed uncontrollably for a while, not even able to look up at him. He said nothing at this point. Finally he asked me what I was feeling. I don’t know what he expected, but he seemed taken aback when I told him how angry I was at him.

I told him, look, whether or not he was going to leave me for some other woman, whether or not my jealousy was justified, him essentially telling me my feelings were not allowed to be had was horrible. I explained that by saying that, it made me feel like I was an idiot. It made me feel like perhaps it was true that he was into her. I told him, the insecurity that his dismal essentially made my mind go from, I am in a wonderful happy relationship, to, hmm. I wonder where he will stay when he leaves me, and will he really be there for the kids even though part time dad is hard to do. He seemed shocked at this, but I explained that when a guy is that kind of defensive, which included him saying over and over, yeah, but did you see what I wrote afterwards, just made it feel like he was just covering his tracks. He may very well have said the sweetest, nicest things in the world about me afterwards. But look, if you wanted me to hear that, tell me that stuff. He said he had left the chat open so I could see it. I don’t want to stumble across that stuff. Things can be taken out of context so easily.

Plus, when I did read what I read, I truly wasn’t that concerned. I had the twinge. I had a moment of insecurity, and I shook it off. He didn’t allow me even that, and this is what angered me beyond belief.

The conversation ended, the boys complained about the tub being too big (which meant is was crazy full since Ken had not turned off the water yet). The problem was, there was no hug, no kiss, no reassurance of us being ok. I was reeling.

I yelled out to Ken, who now was gone. I wandered our tiny house and couldn’t find him anywhere. He had gone out to take out the trash and clean up the yard. I was annoyed at his disappearing act. He just kept doing this. I finally bitched him out, to which he apologized. We were better at this point.

It was rough, and emotionally draining. I know that he just assumed that I was going to flip out over nothing, but in fact, I had been rational and fine and he was being unfair with my emotions. He did apologize for discounting my feelings. I even explained how it could have been better. All he had to do was to acknowledge them, even say he could see where I am coming from, and then tell me not to worry because he sang my praises to her.

What he had not considered, I think, is that look, you may not consider exes as a threat, but sometimes you don’t exactly like to think about them making out with your husband, even if it was 20 years ago. I pointed out that he had made similar mistakes when it came to Beth in the fact that he sat there, in front of me, reminiscing about sex with her. Not that I was ever concerned about him sleeping with Beth again at the time, but let’s face it, it isn’t in the least bit fun to listen to someone talk about missing being with someone in that way.

We are fine now. I am probably going to go through a phase of slight insecurity, but I am hoping it is short lived. It would be a shame to lose so much ground on that progress over something like this.

Even though last night was painful, the weekend over all gets an A. I loved just about every aspect of the time. It was far from perfect, but how often does that happen? Plus, how often do I get to get drunk and dance? LOL!

I think the week ahead of me is uneventful. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow, which is a pain in the ass. I need to take both kids as I think Ken isn’t home till late. I need to email my mom and let her know that perhaps we could come a different day for the visit. Oh, crap! We also need to go register Bobby. I need to find out Ken’s schedule this week and I guess we will go on a day he gets home at a good hour. I am actually wanting to have Bobby see the hospital and even eat dinner maybe in the hospital to make him really like the place.

My stomach is still not thrilled with the quantities of booze I poured into it. It has calmed down since Sunday, but it is still not 100%.

I have not been so obsessed with a particular food in ages. Probably not since the days of a chicken bowl at the mall has something captured my taste buds, and let’s face it, my heart. Taco Bell brought back their chicken soft tacos. They used to have chicken soft tacos that were fantastic. I don’t know that these are the same recipe, but I love them so much, I actually could eat them morning, noon and night. And I hate to eat something multiple days in a row. But seriously, I love those things. I crave them constantly. It is a shame that they are not open near me in the mornings before I go to work, because I would get them every morning. No joke. I know, they are horrible for me. But I am just being real. They are wonderful!

Well, the latest on the move is, we may not have to move anywhere. There is enough points for not moving that it is possible they will postpone indefinitely. I won’t believe it until I get official word, but it is looking positive. On the plus side, if we go to the other building, I get the desk I want! So the only negative would me having to move over just one right here, but even so, that is minor. It is crazy how many office politics are going into this one.

I have holes in my shirt. Lame.

Ken must be busy this morning. No call back yet. I suppose I should get to work.

Cool beans. Nothing like an hour at my friend’s desk to make the morning fly by and be entertaining! She had to show me some system stuff I am now doing, but she is awesome, so it is nice to be able to work with awesome people. We swapped weekend stories, etc, and got a lot of work done. Next thing I knew, I had been at her desk for over an hour and it was 11! Woo hoo!

Spoke to Ken. We are going to the hospital this afternoon to register the boy.

I will end today with the reminder that people in general, pretty fucking stupid. A girl in sales just called me to ask me if since I released this order from hold if that meant she could change the pay terms to net 30 since it was cash in advance. It didn’t occur to her that I released it because we had the payment already. And she has been here 14 years.