Off

10-6-10




Was it the sadness I have had with Scott’s daughter? Was it recent discussions of faith and sanctuary with Stephanie? Was it just my own inner wussy? I don’t know what it was, and really, I don’t think it matters.



I watched Glee last night with tissue in hand, prepared for the inevitable sob fest. I knew it would be hard to watch just based on the fact that I was crying from just the 15 second previews they showed last week.



I have not cried this hard from a show in a long time. It honestly left me battered. I was still crying 20 minutes later, as I laid my head down on my pillow, trying to sleep and angry about how stuffy my nose was since it meant I could not smell the wonderful rain outside.



The most touching, and devastating, was Curt’s rendition of “I Want to Hold Your Hand”. The lyrics of this simple, but brilliant pop song were juxtaposed with images of a young Curt, playing with his father, holding his hand through thick and thin. This performance taking place only 2 days after his dad suffered a heart attack and left him comatose in the hospital, unable to squeeze his son’s hand despite the teary coaxing from him. I am telling you, there is something incredibly powerful about a happy song used to portray something so deep. I don’t know what it is. Maybe just the knowledge of what the song can mean on so many levels just hits me.



I listened to the song again this morning, sans images, and it still tore at my insides.



The whole episode was filled with questions of faith and whether or not an atheist can be ok with people who believe and vice versa. It dealt with death and family and how we all cope with everything from tragedy to the unexplained. Of course, it wasn’t without humor. Seriously, when you see a dumb jock praying to a Grilled Cheesus, there might be nothing funnier.



I emailed Scott several links for support groups and other programs for Neroblastoma in Colorado. I also emailed him my words of support. He mailed me back, and seriously, I just wanted to weep at how much this is taking a toll on him. It really kills me. I know the odds on this cancer. My friend Mo lost her son 5 years ago to it. He was around the same age when he was diagnosed. She has been wonderful, though. She uses her experience to help others. She still visits cancer patients she has met through her son and even beyond that. She does marathons for cancer research. Plus, she was super cool to spend some time talking to me about how I can be a support to Scott during this time.



Maybe I need to be less weepy this morning.



On a positive note, this good Samaritan just saved a little girl who was abducted. He rules all.



I don’t often feel this crampy, but I do this morning. I wonder what that is about. I also feel out of sorts. I think I will blame PMS. LOL!



Not feeling real inspired to work this morning, either. I would rather be home, watching the rain. I cannot warrant going home, though. Sigh.



This afternoon I am taking Bobby to a follow up speech evaluation. They called me yesterday and asked me if I could come by today. Should be interesting.



Back to School night went well. It wasn’t super interesting aside from Dax’s teacher calling him her little sunshine. I love that.



Work is being frustrating today. Not sure if that is related to my PMS or just dealing with idiots. I am off to fight them!