The Biopsy

11-18-11


I got to the center around 7:15. I walked up to the automatic doors, and they didn’t open. Another patient was there, too, and we both just assumed the office didn’t open until 7:30. We stood there for a few minutes when one of the receptionists came up to try to open the door by jumping up in down in front of the sensor. Turned out, their door had been having problems. Their phone system had also been down since the prior day. These technical difficulties did nothing to help calm my already frayed nerves.

I was called in pretty quickly. I suppose with only 2 patients in the place, it really should not take that long, but it still surprised me.

The tech who came to get me was cheerful. She was happy and smiling and she seemed like she had a similar sense of humor. For the first time in this ordeal, I felt a little more relaxed. She went through all the paperwork, while we swapped stories about idiot patients and past medical adventures.

The first step was an ultrasound. She wanted to make sure they could find the same spots that were found before. I have to say I was torn. I kind of wanted them to not find them so they could say I was free to go. On the other hand, it seemed like a waste to go through all of this for nothing.

Spots were located and the doctor performing the procedure came in. She was a little more quiet than my awesome tech, but still cheerful and super nice. Why couldn’t these have been the ladies I had earlier in the week? Then again, I am happy to have had them for this instead of the possibility of having them for the first part and getting the mean team yesterday.

I had no idea things would progress so quickly. As I was lying back on the table, not in the stomach down position I kind of hoped for, I was covered and prepped for the procedure. Next thing I know, they were wiping me down with alcohol and then injecting me with Lidocane.

The doc was hoping that by injecting the Lidocane into the cells themselves that it would show on the ultrasound as swirling, which would mean it was liquid instead of solid material. She then would only have to suck out the fluid instead of a biopsy. Sadly, this did not work.

The doc really wanted to save me from any undue boob violation. She had also hoped to only sample one of the spots, but as she looked further, she determined it was necessary to sample both. I appreciated her attempts, though.

The Lidocane injection was a very slight pinch. I barely felt it. I felt my breast numbing up. It was a strange sensation to say the least. It kicked in quickly. As she put in the device for the biopsy, she was also using the ultrasound to guide her. I looked a couple of quick times at the image, seeing the needle roaming around in there. It was tough to watch, so I mostly looked at the ceiling.

I am glad my parents described the biopsy my dad got on his liver. They told me about this loud pop sound that the machine did. The doc warned me 5 seconds before the pop, and I laughed to myself that now my dad and I were pop buddies. I had way more pops, though. I would say about 10 per spot. The pop came with a quick push on my boob. It didn’t hurt, but it was unsettling for the first couple.

She told me she was going to work on the second spot, and I honestly was shocked that she was done with the first spot. This is how quickly this was going. I would say from start to finish, the whole procedure took maybe an hour.

What was also shocking was how much blood there was. Since they cover everything except the area they are working on, and since the area they are working on was hard to see the way I was lying down, I had no idea what was being put in or what was coming out. At one point, the doc lifted some gauze and I was surprised to see so much blood. At the end, my tech also had to apply pressure to the area to stop the bleeding. This was the most painful part of the whole morning. She was pushing quite hard, and it was tender. Lidocane can’t help everything.

They put some steri strips on the area with instructions that I am not to shower for 48 hours or to remove the strips for 1 week. Other than that, I didn’t have any large bandages or covering.

When the biopsy was done, I was finally able to check my phone which had been buzzing away in my pocket. The texts from Ken looked like he was still at his doctor appt. So I quickly texted him back to tell him I was done. I couldn’t do any more than that since I then was ushered off to another waiting room with other women clutching their belongings against their chests, each of them in an oversized gown. I still had to have a mammogram. They wanted an image of what they did, along with I am guessing shots of the two metal coils they put in my breast. These were put there in order for all future images to mark where I had this biopsy. It was only two quick scans, so it didn’t take long at all.

I walked out of the doc’s office, a little dazed when I noticed Ken there. I instantly felt awful. He had not been in his doctor’s office since 8:45 like the text said. In fact, he had been in this waiting room. Granted, he would not have made it on time to be there with me, but I still felt bad that I didn’t realize this. I fought back tears as I tried to explain to him what happened. He wasn’t mad. He never yelled. I just felt like I had failed him.

We got home and I could tell I was off. I was fighting period hormones, pain and just the exhaustion that comes with something so big being over. As the Lidocane was wearing off, I could feel different movements becoming more painful. I iced every hour while watching some Glee.

I walked to the school with Ken to get the boys. I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to get up and I didn’t want to be alone. We walked slowly, and it was nice since we were able to talk a bit. He told me that he was thinking about what I had said about his demeanor when I am having anything medical done. He tends to act like a caged animal when I am being examined. He paces, he growls, he is agitated. Nothing pleases him in these situations. He determined that yes, he is like that, but only because he realizes that he really doesn’t know what he would do without me. It was incredibly sweet and I was so happy to hear these words.

Ken took the boys with him to class, which left me at home by myself. As time passes, my boob was getting more and more angry with me. I iced, I rested, I iced, I rested. Finally it was time to head over to Bobby’s practice.

During practice, Dax and I hung out in the car. It was way too cold to sit outside, and it allowed Dax to sit and play Angry Birds while I watched 30 Rock. Seriously, yay technology.

I was getting very emotional. Dax was cranky and pissy at times, which I just had no patience for. Sure, he and I were laughing at things, too, but our stubborn sides were certainly butting heads.

We headed over to Lucky Strike after practice. I had to put down the deposit for our party on Sunday. I couldn’t hold my purse on my right side, which blew. I was tired, I was weepy and just losing my mind. It was awful!

Ken took the kids and they went and got dinner and let me drive home. I appreciated the silence, but I then felt lonely. I called my mom on the way home to update her on the biopsy and the conferences with the boys’ teachers.

By the time the boys went to bed and I was ready for bed, I was crying freely, laughing at it a bit, and I just felt worn down. When I crawled into bed, I was shocked at how comfortable I was despite the pain and sadness. It didn’t take long to sleep. I wish I was still there, but I opted to suck it up for a couple of hours this morning at work since I am only staying till about 8:30. I am going to help out at Bobby’s class this morning.

Speaking of parent/teacher conferences, those went quite well. Dax knows all of his wall words and is one of only two who have colored their whole rainbow. Mrs. Fasheh also told us that he is already blending and just seems to get it all so quickly. Her only complaint, which is super valid, is that he rushes through things like coloring or writing. He gets messy. It is almost as though he is bored with this part. There may be truth to this. So we will be working with him on some challenges along with his homework like creating sentences with a bunch of flash cards and then letting him practice writing them.

Mrs. Kelly said Bobby was a “neat kid”. You could tell she was quite fond of him. She showed us a lot of his work, which included all of his math tests. All 100%! Woo hoo! She said he was a good reader and his emotions have been in check more. He is keeping up fine and doing well. Her only complaint was, wait for it, he rushes through writing. Yes, his penmanship was also poor. He writes really nice, when he takes a little time. But in class he tends to get distracted easily and then rushes on his work. Bobby is a daydreamer. Not a big deal. He just likes to be engaged, and I am guessing he just isn’t always interested in certain things. He has lots of ideas and it is distracting.

I am quite pleased with their reviews. It means they are smart, energetic and well liked. They need improvement, which I always love to hear on reviews. I hate reviews that say the kid is perfect. It just isn’t possible, and kids and people always have room to grow. I like to know these things.

I have a vicodin in my system and 5 cups of green tea. I feel like Bernie from Weekend at Bernie’s. There must be someone just propping me up somewhere because I don’t know that I feel anything, yet I am still moving.

I am hoping to bail here before the boss comes in. I have a reasonable excuse to leave, but I still feel bad.

Date night tonight. The boys are spending the night at Gramma and Poppy’s and Ken and I are going out to see Harold and Kumar. I am crossing my fingers that somehow HR will finally give me my restaurant voucher before I head out so that I can use it tonight, but I don’t see it happening. Even if we just eat at home, though, I am happy with the alone time with my husband. This weekend looks busy. I have to make a casserole tomorrow morning for Dax’s party and then Bobby has his party on Sunday afternoon.

I also have to pick up trophies today. I am beat!

I did get my new desk in place, though. I feel like an important executive. It is huge! Ken cleaned out the area to put in his desk and mine. Yes, we have all of that stuff now to put away, but this forces us to go through it. We have been cleaning out so many closets and junk piles. It has been a good thing. That will probably take up other parts of the weekend, along with laundry so I can pack for Thanksgiving.

I am hoping sleep is in all of this somewhere, too.