Go Kings Go!!!!!!!

5-31-12


I kicked some ass yesterday!

It was report day at work, which meant I was stuck in an Excel zone most of the day. But for some reason, everything was clicking and I was on fire. I not only completed everything, I did it in record time. I even had a couple hours to spare!

This energy inspired me. While the boys worked on homework, I worked on the playroom. Daniel is coming to stay with us for a couple weeks in July, so I wanted to make sure the playroom was in tip top shape. I went through bags and redid shelves. Ken put up a new shelf for me so we could put up all of the stuffed animals. We removed the Lego bins since they could go to the summer camp and be out of the room. I made things more accessible and made it look nice. I was so pleased!

The whirlwind didn’t stop. I had considered just heating up some taquitos for dinner, but ended up making a casserole and even doing some clean up in the kitchen as I went. I was rockin it! All of this was finished with time to sit in front of the tv with Ken to watch Game One of the Stanley Cup Finals. WOO!

When I arrived home from work, Ken was on the roof. He was peering down into the chimney. This didn’t seem good. In the morning, he had come across a baby crow on the porch that had fallen out of the giant tree across the street. He couldn’t get it back up in the real nest, so the plan was to put him up in Side Show Bob since it was a tree that no cats were climbing. Sadly, the crow, who is probably days away from flying on his own, opted to jump out of the tree, and then down the chimney.

After some coaxing and trying to lasso him, Ken ended up getting him from the fireplace itself, reaching up to snag him. It was at this point, Ken took him back to the roof. The baby was screaming his head off, sounding off the alarm. It was like a horror flick. At first a couple of crows would answer. Then more. Then more. The sky was sprinkled with crows coming in from all angles, all of them yelling at us. Within 5 minutes, there were 50+ crows flying over our house. It was incredible!

Ken put him back in the tree, and had positioned our wildlife camera on him so we could keep an eye on him. At around 5:30, the crow ended up using the wind and his determination to coast over to Mike’s roof. He then did it again, and ended up on the roof next to that. The boys were outside playing with Anthony (this is the good neighbor kid) so we told them to just keep an eye on him to make sure he didn’t fall off. At some point, Bobby comes running in saying that there was another crow with it, shoving his beak down the baby’s mouth. YAY!!! Yes, the baby was being fed. This was a huge victory, and we were quite thrilled at this. Baby crow will be ok.

It is a real shame that I have to be at work tomorrow. The school apparently recognizes parents who go above and beyond in helping out the school. They have a breakfast for them and the teachers can nominate people for this. Ken and I were selected and invited to this breakfast! YAY! It is pretty cool, and I wonder if I should maybe go just because I do really love the school. I am shocked at how loyal I am to it. I have enjoyed most of my experiences there and I know we have another 5 years of being there, so I want it to be even better. So perhaps I will go.

My hair is finally recovering. Actually, it is doing quite well considering the shock I put it through. The newer hair is really nice and growing in well. There is a section that is clearly the part that we fucked with, and I am slowly trimming parts of that off as we go. I actually have considered doing a fun bob just for the hell of it. My hair grows crazy fast and it is summer time so it would make some sense. I may consider it when I do the next color. The pink, although fun, is not as happy making as the purple was. Man, that purple was awesome. LOL! I am looking forward to the deep red.

It is our last practice tonight. I am a little bummed, only because most of these kids are good kids and I will miss them. I wonder how many of them will end up signing up for the fall. I know a couple did, but I do hope more do. The boys and I will ride up to practice and meet Ken there. Our last game is Saturday, with the team party directly after. We have trophies that will be picked up tomorrow night. Someone is bringing cupcakes and we will have pizza. I may hit up the Dollar Tree or something like that for drinks or little trinkets for the kids.

This was Ken and my first official coaching. Sure, we both were assistant coaches for the last fall season, but we were not in charge. Ed had me do a lot, but I made sure he decided who was in and who was out. Ken did a ton at practice, but Matt was certainly in charge. This was Ken and I, doing this as a team. It was pretty cool. I am looking forward to doing it for the fall. It will be interesting to see what happens the following year since Dax will still be in U8 whereas Bobby will be in U10. This is of course if he decides to keep going. He may opt to do something else. They both might. One never knows.

I need to video Dax jumping rope. He is amazing at it.

Today I am going to clean up NAG’s desk. She is out for the next two days, making me her backup. Yesterday I got a call from a sales rep about an application sent in 2 months ago that had not been set up yet. It was just sitting in her pending file, nothing having been done on it. Not cool. I am considering just going through that whole file and emailing everyone on each new acct packet there. I wonder if it will piss anyone off, but at this point, I don’t know that it should matter. It needs to be done.

I suppose I should get a move on if that is my plan.

less than productive

5-29-12


I should have been more productive.

On the plus side, we did a lot of fun things. On Saturday, we went and saw the Avengers a second time. We considered MIB3, but opted to wait on that until it has been out a couple of weeks. The boys were thrilled, and it was a bargain matinee price so a great morning.

After the movie, we headed out to Venice Beach. I was really looking forward to showing the boys my old stomping grounds. Here was a place I used to go to constantly. But after spending a couple of hours there, I don’t know why. This is not entirely true. I used to love shopping through the tons of cheap and fun jewelry. I liked the people watching aspect and even just the smell of the place. Sadly, most of the performers and people you would want to watch all seemed much angrier, with all of them holding signs that stated they didn’t want you taking free pictures of them. Some of the signs were downright pissy, too. There were the occasional people with a sign saying “Free Hugs” or “will work for pot”, so those were nice, but they still seemed wrong.

Instead of jewelry and knick knacks, there was a medicinal marijuana dispensary every other shop. Tons of people dressed in green jumpsuits harassed the people passing by, shoving business cards in their hands to get them to go and see if they qualified for a medical card allowing the purchase of pot. I know I could easily get one, but I think that these people would have given cards to the boys.

Even the artists didn’t seem interesting. I could have gone down to the Hermosa fair that happened to be going on and I would have seen the same things, and felt less likely to be pick pocketed by the other people walking around.

I am glad we went, if only so that I could see this change with my own eyes. It is possibly nothing has changed and in reality only I have changed. I hope this is the case, as that is less depressing.

Aside from hitting up Costco on Sunday, we mostly hung out at home. NB was clearly being kicked out of his house most of the weekend, which meant he kept coming to our home. I really feel bad that I hate him, but he certainly doesn’t try to endear himself to me. He plays with the boys in the front, and every 20 minutes or so he would yell out to Ken. He would then proceed to ask Ken if he could use his tools to build a ramp, or he would ask Ken if he would give him some wood to do something. This kid was talking to Ken as if he was entitled to everything we have. This kid seems to think that we should provide him with toys, tools, food, etc. I do not care for his arrogance.

He truly put the nail in his coffin, or more realistically, the cactus needle in my kid’s foot.

He thought it would be a good idea to kick the cactus that is next door to us. Never you mind it isn’t his cactus to kick, but he thought it would be funny. He then goaded Dax into doing it, also. Dax came in screaming and crying because his toe hurt. Turned out a needle went through his shoe and sock and right into his big toe. It was awful. It took Ken, Bobby and I an hour to finally get the thing removed. I held Dax while Ken operated while trying to hold on to Dax’s leg, and Bobby held on to the flashlight and was the gopher. Dax’s screams were horrific, and with good reason. It was super painful.

The next morning, when NB came over, and then proceeded to ask if the boys could come down to his house to help him build something, Ken tore into him. He told him that there was not a lot of trust towards him after he convinced a 5 year old to kick a cactus. Sure, it could be argued that peer pressure is something that we will have to deal with, but that being said, this kid is 10, hanging around a 5 year old, and he already can see that Dax has been emotionally fragile lately.

We kept him away from the house the rest of the day.

We rode our bikes up to Target, which was a lovely ride. The weather was perfect, and everyone seemed to be in good moods. When we got home, the boys went in the pool. I answered the door when NB showed up and I told him the boys had chores to do. He didn’t come back.

I changed into my swim suit since truly, the only way to bathe a dog is to be prepared to get very wet. I pre-groomed Lycos, removing shit tons of fur. I then scrubbed her down, removing even more excess fur debris. Ken even brushed her later, leaving a Chihuahua sized fur ball. Lycos now looks all shiny and pretty. It is a nice change.

I washed Luna, too. She wasn’t as gross, but she needed some dreads cut out, so the cleaning was a good thing. It would have been even nicer had she not opted to roll around in the dirt while still wet from swimming. My golden dog now looked like she had been dipped in chocolate. Sigh.

The pool thermometer broke, leaving glass in the pool, which is not easy to find. Ken went in with goggles and retrieved quite a bit, in the process forgetting that he should have put on sun block. His back is quite red now. I went in the pool, also, figuring I would be able to find the glass. Sure, I meant in my foot, but it would be better found in my foot than in the boys’ feet.

Bobby was thrilled that I came in, and he and I swam around for a while, which was nice. The water was actually pretty decent, especially since it was so hot out. It also was warmer than hose water, which I had already been drenched in from dog washing.

Dax decided he wanted a haircut. Both of them needed their bangs trimmed, but Dax wanted his short. Ken busted out the Flowbee and did their hair. Bobby’s is still shaggy, which suits him. Dax has a much shorter look, and even though I am used to his longer hair, this looks good. It will be easier for summer time, so I think it is probably a good thing. Plus, his hair grows fast, so it will be back to shaggy in no time.

With it being a short week, our close is all honked up, which means I have reports tomorrow. It means today will probably be hectic. Bleah. Let’s just hope it makes the day go by quickly.

One Year

5-24-12


It is approaching.

Sure, I will be 37, a year in which I can say the number with shock and amusement as I quote Clerks for 365 days. I get to go to Big Wok and dine on the nummy that is Mongolian BBQ. It will be a good week I am sure, if it wasn’t for the other thing.

Sept 16, 1969 to June 13, 2011.

The last time I talked to him was on the 10th. The last thing on his Facebook timeline shows him sending a message to our aunt Gwen at 12:42 am on June 11th. He was supposed to go camping that weekend, or so he told Steve. I don’t know when they found him exactly since those details are sketchy. I can assume it was the 13th since this is the day listed as his last. My own feeling is that the shotgun was at his head on my birthday.

I know it will be a sad week for Sandra. She made it through Mother’s day, but I know it was hard on her. I am glad that she has been able to reach out to me and even others and have a good support system. Still, I am sure the significance of the dates will not be lost on her.

People tell me to not dwell on what I am not sure on. I spent time on the phone several months back with the coroner and even chief of police of Murrieta. I explained to them that I just wanted to know how they decide the day he died. I wanted to know if they investigated it or since it was a suicide if they just make it the day they found him. What is the protocol? I had to know if he truly shot himself on the day of my birth. They were kind men, and they tried to tell me to not worry about it and essentially guided me into letting it go at least in terms of official records. They could never convince me to let it go in my own mind.

There will always be the little voice in my head that asks, “Why didn’t you invite him out to lunch with the family for your birthday?” It isn’t as loud as it was in the beginning. What ifs are the most pointless kind of questions since no matter what the if is, you can’t make it the what did.

I am sad, too, since the only dream communication I have had with him was where he was still so very confused. He wasn’t sure what happened, and it was less settling than when Granddaddy told me he was well or even when Robbie has watched over me. His spirit is tormented, and even though a huge part of me knows that he did this because he hurt and in many ways it stopped the hurt, I worry that if there is in fact a soul or spirit out there, he is still hurting a little bit.

Mind you I don’t blame him for his timing. One cannot decide when the crippling effects of bipolar will take you. It was during an unfortunate week, though. My birthday, Matt’s birthday, and father’s day. Our dad’s day. Was this on purpose? Did he sit and look at this week and wonder himself, what if? Did he wish he had a different relationship with the Bowlby side of himself that it triggered something?

I will only drive myself to drink if I try to understand.

tagging music

5-24-12


The weekend is so close I can taste it!

I am just tired of work this week. It seems very uninspiring. It probably has to do with the fact that last week I was pretty jazzed about the idea of re-vamping things, and now I feel like these offers were empty promises what with no one responding to any of the ideas. Granted, a lot of people are out of the office. It being a holiday weekend has inspired folks to take a couple extra days off to unwind. I just need to power through.

Tonight is the second to last practice with our Spring team. Ken doesn’t have class this afternoon, which means we can all ride to practice. Bobby’s chain is still having issues, but at least with Ken riding along, if there is a problem he can help.

I downloaded some songs this week that popped into my head. They likely popped in there because they reminded me of Angela. I had been thinking that now that she has moved back to Hermosa, I should find some time to go hang with her. What was interesting, though, was the choice of songs; Shoop and Whatta Man both by Salt-N-Pepa. Both are fun little songs to dance to and are great to listen to during the summer time with the top down, but I have not really had the top down since my Mustang died.

Sure, I have a pretty eclectic taste in music, but what was even funnier is that I don’t think I have listen to Shoop in probably 10 years. I hit play and I was shocked at how many of the lyrics I had retained. It amused the shit out of me. Especially since if you heard this song, you would not automatically think, oh, sure, Gena totally listens to this.

The same seems to be true of many random songs. Dax and Bobby always are shocked and amazed when we are in a store and the random song that comes on, whether it be in Ralphs or Hot Topic or even some random elevator, and I know the lyrics to most of the songs. Even if I don’t know the full lyrics, I know the song pretty well. Dax will always proclaim, “You know EVERY song in the world!” I so don’t, but I am amused at his belief.

This song association got me to thinking. I know that just about every one of my friends has a different taste in music than I do. They listen to bands or groups (oh, by the way, don’t even get me started on what is the difference between a band and a group because it is just as mind boggling to me as how big is the universe) that I don’t care for, yet sometimes, one of the songs will enter into my life and I will grow to love it.

A perfect example of this is Pearl Jam. Don’t get me wrong, they are fine. I don’t have issue with them overall, but I don’t think I would seek them out. But then when you are friends with someone, and live with someone who lives and breathes everything Eddie Vedder has every sang, you become well versed in their music catalog.

Whenever we were together, you could assume PJ was on. I suppose I could have had the same awful experience I had with NKOTB, but thankfully I was able to appreciate Pearl Jam on a different level. I even found myself with random favorites. I really enjoy the song Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTtSsOOPPNs

Shoop was one of those kind of songs. Angela had a hip hop phase in which she liked things like Salt N Pepa and a much more pseudo rap influence, yet very tame. I suppose you would call it early 90’s R&B since she also loved some Mariah Carrey and songs from those sort of artists. Most of it was fine. Yet songs like Shoop stood out.

There will always be songs that I will love because they remind me of certain people. TLC Scrubs makes me think of Blockbuster, working with Erica and Alyssa. So does Montell Jordan This is How We Do It. It was a new time for me, making friends outside of my comfort zone, and I was so happy with it. The new music, although not my cup of tea, made the whole transition even more interesting.

OMD-Enola Gay. I hear the song in my head and then I watch Greg and Scott play dashboard keyboards and it makes me smile.

Another Scott song will always be See You by Depeche Mode. It isn’t really just Scott, so much as all of the couples I knew in high school. Angela used to tell me how much this song was how she felt about Scott since it was hard for them to see each other due to lack of a car.

Certain songs now also seem to be attached to people even though it may not even be something they know about.

Beastie Boys-Girls will forever remind me of Sarah bee-bopping her head.

Vanilla Ice-Ice Ice Baby has images of Ken and Jeff doing the dance at our wedding.

Grove is in the Heart will always make me think of my old car.

This and That-Michael Penn has a special place in my heart since it was a song that was when David was different.

Anything Pet Shop Boys reminds me of the Westchester House.

Forever Young will always remind me of Brandy.

There are times when I see people or think of them and they have their own soundtrack. It would be interesting technology to have this actually play for people. Of course, I suppose it could also be dangerous depending on the song that comes up when you see them. And seriously, high schools everywhere would have to be a music free zone. It could get dangerously angsty in there.

I have decided to give Hitchhikers Guide another go. Ken has downloaded a copy to Padme so I started reading it again yesterday. Last time I tried to read it I got bored and stopped. I am in a different place now so I am hoping I can appreciate it at least enough to get through it. I hate not understand the references made by people.

Distracted

5-23-12


Even when I am blue, Ken can make me feel better.

Last night I was in a PMS induced state of random sadness. I had nothing to be upset about, and it wasn’t even like weepy or depressed, just an overall sense that I needed closeness. It was very nice to snuggle up with him while watching M*A*S*H. I think it helped me sleep.

This morning, my back isn’t screaming at me, thank goodness. Yesterday, late morning my back started going into spasm. It was the same spot that I had pulled before, and it was unpleasant to say the least. Ken suggested I take a day off of exercise to rest from my epic ride on Monday. It was probably a good thing, especially since I still hurt going to bed. I noticed when I rode up to get the boys, this seemed to make the pain stand out, which leads me to believe it is kind of from bike riding. It means I need to stretch a bit more before anything. It is funny how much I don’t do it, despite insisting on having the boys do it before practice/games.

I feel so distracted this morning. I can’t seem to focus. Perhaps I will work on something that will bring me back to reality for a bit.

survival

5-22-12


I made it!

That being said, I drove to work today. Ken was quite worried about me. The darkness, the uncertainty, all of the dangers that happen in the wee hours of the morning are just too much for him. I will probably ride every now and again, but I have to prep him and myself a bit more.

I had a much harder time coming home than expected. The wind was blowing so damn much I even had to peddle going downhill! I contemplated calling Ken a couple of times, but I was too determined to give in.

The one thing that shocked me was how much debris there is on my routes. Giant bolts, screws, glass, dead critters, etc. It was hazard after hazard. I didn’t like this aspect whatsoever. I was sure I would hit something wrong and end up with either a popped tired or hit something wrong and end up flipped over my handlebars.

Since I drove to work today, my plan is cardio in the gym and possibly a nice walk with Miss Luna tonight.

Yesterday was the start of the hunt.

I had the boys open the envelope that contained the crime packets. My mom made surveillance packets and photos of the victims and the suspect, Tiny Tim. He is an evil monkey, doncha know. The accompanying videos may have been some of the funniest things I have seen in forever. Roper and Mitchell (a stuffed dog and stuffed tiger, both named after animals my mother has had in her life) have been kidnapped and stuffed in a box. Currently, the boys have a few clues, but ultimately nothing that leads them to where they are. Over the next few days, they will be finding these tiles that go to a paper they will get in the mail soon. They also will find a puzzle, which I accidently already busted out, but thankfully Ken corrected by taking out a lot of the pieces so that we could stretch it out the way it was supposed to be done. I would hate to have fucked up my mom’s whole plan that she has worked so hard on in one slip up. LOL!

Look what I found in the Urban Dictionary:



Dax: A positive connotation, almost like "cool".

This party is so dax

Strong.

I had given my body and nature a year to decide if I was meant to create another little Brenan. Said year is technically up, especially considering I am currently without fetus. I wondered if I should go ahead and pull the plug, or I suppose tie the tube at this point. I came to the conclusion that I think it is reasonable to keep letting nature decide. I truly do not want to go on any kind of birth control right now. Plus, I have watched a couple of people on FB that are my age get pregnant, and I know that I am not too old right now. In addition to this, if nature truly doesn’t want me to be preggers, then it won’t happen. So for now I am going to stay open to the possibility and see what happens.

When I get bored at work, I start Windows shopping. I hate seeing so many cool things.

I need someone to get married. I want to go see a wedding.

It also is that time of year when I get all prom nostalgic. 19 years ago was my prom. Holy crap! Where does that time go????