too much busy

5-30-14

Covering 3 desks today. Yeah, that sounds like fun.

Registration looks to be a little crazier tomorrow what with us not having our normal space in the cafeteria. The good news is that I will be able to go sit in a corner and work, which should make most of the day go by quickly.

I really need to go back to the doctor. My throat still hurts and it feels like it is getting worse. I will call them this morning when they open to see about coming down this afternoon. I don’t want more antibiotics. I really just want them to take out my damn tonsils.

I met up with Sarah last night at the Target. She had told me she made me something. She made me this adorable little bag with Trixie’s picture on it. I had gone 3 days without crying, but it all came back last night. It was such a thoughtful and adorable gift. I love it so.

I have to admit, I will be going through the motions today. The boss is out and I am thinking that I will defer most of Jean’s stuff back to her since really, most things can wait until she returns Monday. It means I can get caught up on some of my stuff.

Ok, I was just telling Ken I think my concert going days are probably coming to an end. Yeah, maybe one more. I did see that Erasure IS coming to LA in October. I may need to take Bobby to that. I would be cool with taking Dax, too. I think they would enjoy it. I emailed Andy. It would be cool if he and Scotty could come down and we could all go to the show.

It is only like 15 more days of school, which is crazy! Bobby is practicing for a class musical. He has a pretty big part. Dax has a field trip to the park in a couple weeks. On the 13^th they have a family day. It should be a busy next couple of weeks.

Sunday looks to be labor intensive. We need to go work at Eydie. We have a tenant (Ken will hopefully get in touch with him today), so we need to get things ready. There is some painting involved, and getting the rest of the tools out of there. I am once again wondering if a small truck rental is something we should look into. I am hoping if we bust our asses we can get it all done quickly.

So much busy ahead of me. Bleah. 

Juggling

5-29-14

2 more days of this nonsense.

Jean gets back from her vacation on Monday. I am counting down the hours. Yesterday was a true test of patience on my part as I was dealing with multiple job functions that all were top priority. Month end reports needed to be done at the same time the new accounts needed set up while also making sure updated master files were completed. Yeah, I was a little swamped. I managed, but I did not enjoy it.

Today I resume going through the motions since I am sure nothing will be pressing. You would hope these work flows would balance out, but in reality they seem to flock to one another.

I am trying to desperately get some reporting features for the new online accounting we are using for the region. I need to prep some information ASAP for our annual budget that is due. I need to put in year to date data and I am unable to produce what is necessary. Hopefully the person I emailed can assist in some way.

It only occurred to me suddenly on Tuesday that I was taking the boys to stay at my folks’ tomorrow night. We have registration on Saturday, which means the boys get to go the beach on Saturday with Gramma and Poppy. Yay! Now I have to wonder if I will use the kid free night as some form of date night out and about or if Ken and I will simply use it to relax at home. LOL!

RIP Trixie

5-27-14

Her face surrounds me this morning.

I considered taking down pictures this morning simply because I was fearful that I would once again be transformed into a blubbering mess. It was quickly realized that this wouldn’t help much, and would only solidify the real possibility that I am going to wish I had worn waterproof eyeliner.

Thursday night, my darling Trixie was acting squishy. She was almost desperate for attention, which I gladly gave her. She was a little ball of purr and it was incredibly endearing. When we crawled into bed that night, she settled into her spot up between our pillows, happy as can be because it meant she could be scritched by both of us.

The next morning I crawled out of bed. I noted a wet spot near my knees and was instantly annoyed that one of the cats was feeling irritated enough with us to piss on me in the middle of the night. I headed to the shower. When I came out of the bathroom, Trixie was not outside the door, which was a little surprising, but I chalked it up to her being quite comfy in bed.

Then I got the text.

Something was wrong. Ken said that Trixie’s back legs were not working correct. When I inquired as to what he meant by this, I got an incredibly long text stating that she was wobbly and lethargic. She had peed on the bed and it seemed to take place because she could not get down. It all seemed very bad.

The texts that would come over the course of the day painted a grim picture. The doctor at first had assumed she had been crushed. She said that all of the symptoms indicated that she had been smushed and therefore was likely to have spinal damage and/or broken ribs. X-Rays ruled out broken bones, but her health was still declining.

When she was not responding to the oxygen therapy I left work and raced to Manhattan Beach. Ken’s text came through telling me to hurry. I was terrified.

She was on the table, face in an oxygen mask, not moving. She was clearly having difficulty breathing, but she seemed stable. I started talking to her, unsure if she knew I was there. I didn’t know what she was feeling or thinking, which of course broke my heart into a million pieces.

Ken left since one of us would need to be there when his folks got to the house and the boys would need to be picked up. I settled into his chair and petted my kitty, hoping that something would work.

Sadly, she only got worse. She started to growl and tense up in what looked like immense pain. The doctor was baffled. She was on a lot of pain meds already, and more could kill her. Trixie started to spaz out a bit and it all looked like the battle was raging in her tiny body. It was horrific.

It was at this time that the doctor told me it was time. She said that there was nothing else they could do for her except to end her suffering, which was not words I had expected to hear about Trixie for another 15 years. My sweet girl isn’t even 1 yet. She is only 4 pounds of sweetness and I was anxious to see what the years would bring. Sadly, it would end in only a few minutes.

I held her tiny, limp body for a long time after. I rocked back and forth with her, sobbing freely. I noted multiple people who worked there were also teary.

It was hard to leave her. I couldn’t breathe.

I called Ken in the car before I left. I had not gotten his texts that wanted me to just bring her home to die there. The guilt began. I had fucked up. The back room at MBAH had next to zero cell service and I had misunderstood the trust put in me when Ken left.

I got home and proceeded to go through the rest of the day in a haze. I know we got the boys a little early from class, which was almost as hard as watching her die. I hated to have to deliver such heart breaking news to these children, who also adored our little grey fluff ball.

Ken’s parents showed up and I went through the motions. We went to dinner and I had to excuse myself a couple of times to go mop up my face. I tried to drink, hoping that it would perhaps numb the hole in my heart, but even that wasn’t working.

Sleep was impossible. I spent Saturday in a daze. We did go and I was able to make a Toothless Build a Bear, but it wasn’t going to replace Trixie by any stretch of the imagination.

I functioned on autopilot. I didn’t want to upset the boys any further. I also knew that if I didn’t keep moving, I would be back to the fetal position.

We spent Sunday morning with Ken’s folks. I made a nice brunch and enjoyed showing off Steve. I think his folks were impressed with the place. It was a good way to get out of my head for a bit.

We turned in that night and something triggered the tears. This resulted in Ken and I really talking about it all. I explained how I had truly been blaming myself for her death. Everything from assuming I was the one who had crushed her to the missed texts left me assuming I had been the one who killed her. Ken reassured me that he didn’t think these things and told me I had made the right decision. Even with some of this weight off my shoulders, it seemed to open up a different flood gate.

I love this cat so very much. I know it may sound crazy to be this distraught over a cat, especially one in reality one that I have only known for about 6 months. That being said, sometimes there are remarkable animals that touch our souls more than we realize they ever could. Trixie was that cat, and for her to leave us so soon just made it that much more difficult.

I made it through yesterday without any real tears shed. I don’t know if I am finally moving on or if I simply have nothing left in me for now.

In so many ways, I feel like I failed her.

Tatonka

5-21-14

I gotta say, covering for Jean while she is out is very taxing.

We went all kinds of oh shit the last two days, trying to get Bobby’s school project done. I didn’t realize it was due today. Oops. Oh well. We managed to get a pretty decent Pawnee Nation display done and it looks great! Bobby also typed up his report and it looks much better than had he handwritten it. It will all be turned in today, and hopefully Mr. Chin likes it. I will also hopefully help Bobby today to get through the past two days worth of homework, and make it so when we use his No Homework pass it will cover enough.

Ken scrubbed the living quarters of Steve, so I hope to work on the rest of the house today and tomorrow. I am calling out sick tomorrow since I had planned on leaving early, anyway, for the open house in the morning. I will get to sleep in, go to the school, come home for a bit to clean, go to the dentist, then get back with another 3 hours to get the house looking amazing for Friday’s Brenan visit.

My dad thought Emilio was a girl. He asked me who the girl who seemed enamored by Bobby was.  I was relaying this to Bobby while on the phone. My dad explained this was the girl Bobby sat next to on the bus and the one who hugged him. Yeah, turns out that was Emilio. He is this cute kid who happens to have long, curly hair. LOL!!!

Ken is pretty much gone all day today. He has two classes far away and his soccer game tonight is at 7. He wants the boys and I to go since it is early. It really all depends on how the afternoon goes. Hopefully if I buckle down with Bobby and don’t stress about cleaning that should be done I think the homework will get done quicker, and I can work on the cleaning when I am not distracted.

e He

We have a new potential tenant. I did some checks on him in terms of just basic today. He seems to have a good job and has lived in the area all his life, so it isn’t like he will bail. I think we might as well take a chance. Yay!

Tonsillitis

5-19-14

This 3 day weekend can’t come quick enough.

Don’t get me wrong. I clearly used every single second of the 2 days I got this weekend. That being said, it would be nice to have a day to recover from those 2 days. LOL!

I left work a smidge early on Friday in order to go to the doctor. I picked up Dax early since I wasn’t sure what time I would get back and I was under the impression that Bobby would get back from his field trip closer to 3, which would allow for my dad to most likely take him home.

Turns out, my tonsils are angry. Thankfully, I tested negative for strep. I do however have tonsillitis. This means I am currently taking antibiotics to hopefully clear it up. Right now, it feels like it is getting better. Then again, it goes through waves of feeling better and waves of feeling borderline worse. I think that having not said any words yet this morning out loud, my throat has not woken up. As each day progresses, I seem to get more pain again. I also noted that certain octaves that I use make me wince from the jab I get in the sore part of my throat. The pain now does seem to be over the whole of my throat, when before it was mostly concentrated, and super painful, in one section. Perhaps this means I am on the mend.

Saturday morning was chaotic.

I was trying to get the house in order for Angela, since I would be picking her up at 10. The problem with all of this was I hurt, the boys were bickering, and Ken was already gone to the tournament. On top of this, Ken texted me asking me to let him know when I was leaving, which made it sound like I needed to be ready even earlier since he needed me to bring him something.  This put me in a tizzy, and life was all kinds of crazed for me.

Turned out I was in a crazy over nothing, but either way, the boys and I set out to get Angela, and did not need to take anything to Ken. We left early enough to even allow us to go by Starbucks where I could get an iced mocha which felt wonderful on my throat.

Angela overslept and didn’t hear her phone, so the boys and I went over to Target with the hopes she would get in touch with us when she got my messages. This was not a bad thing, since it was quite nice being at Target. It’s almost like I got to go to my own church.

Angela called and we headed over about 11:30. We spent the day at Steve, talking and hanging out. She got to bond a bit with the boys since we ended up going in the pool for a while. Dax seemed to be in full “Look at me” mode all dang day, which was frustrating if only in the idea that I was trying to visit.

We were not just visiting. We were productive! She helped me go through a couple of super large boxes of stuff which condensed those into one smaller box. Yay! I need to do more of this!

It was a good day. In some ways, it was just like old times. In other ways, it was cool to get to know her all over again. I am hoping that as time goes on, more and more of my dear friends know that Steve is a place of happy and that I am more than thrilled to be like a comfy resort. LOL!

Sunday was to be more about resting. Sadly, I didn’t listen to this.

The boys and I did go by the tournament to say hello. We didn’t stay long. I felt off while there and didn’t try to overcome my natural tendencies. I probably could have hung out all day, but in reality, I had so much laundry to get through it would have meant spending any more time there would have resulted in a naked day today for everyone in my household.

Side note, I just had my first conversation of the day. My throat is VERY angry at me now.

When I got home, the boys decided to go into hermit mode on the computer, which meant I was on my own. I started laundry and then tackled the project.

On Friday, we got a letter from the city indicating a neighbor had complained about our yard. It also complained about the Blazer, which is stupid since it said we had a car in the driveway that we never drive. Dude. What the hell? Either way, I did agree the weeds near the front door were out of control.

I pulled out the shovel and rake and set to work. I dug up weed roots, tree roots, and about a six pack of glass bottles. I even found an old flashlight. It was crazy the amount of crap buried in the yard.

While I was working, the block leaders happened by and seemed impressed with my efforts. For all I knew, they were the ones who complained, but whatever. I am sure we will run into these sort of things now that we are in Torrance as opposed to LA.

I managed to get the corer there looking pretty damn good. Sadly, there were consequences from this. Dirt went everywhere. It was stupid of me to leave the front door open since it allowed for dirt all through my living room. On top of this, it was all over me and in my throat, which I am sure did not help on my healing process.

Despite working so hard on that and general chores and laundry, I did take some time to relax a bit. I watched some tv and zoned out a bit. I wish I had done more of this. I wish I had taken a nap.

This week does at least allow me one early day. I am only working a partial day on Thursday because “open house” is in the morning before school. I would complain, but I like being able to leave work. Plus, it allowed me to make my dentist apt that morning, too. I have to get a tiny cavity filled and I guess I have a tiny chip in my tooth that the dentist wants to fix.

Ken’s folks come on Friday, which also means I have a lot of clean up to do this week. I am hoping Ken has some time to paint the back of the house. Either way, my afternoons look to be busy and exhausting.

Bleah. 

Swallowing swords

5-16-14

I am distracted

I started playing this new game. It’s essentially Farmville but you grow weed. You sell to people and you have to buy seeds and water. It is super mindless, but it is cracking me up. Some gangsters just robbed me. LOL!!

It feels like I swallowed a bunch of razor blades. Ken has told me to try to get to the doctor today. I will call when they open since I need to schedule an appointment anyway. I am considering getting off my anti anxiety meds. Not sure yet, but I think I would like to try.

I am very tired. Sleep was impossible with that heat last night.

Homework made me nuts last night. Bobby had math problems that required him to do a shit ton of drawing. He dinked, he cried, he complained, he petted cats, and all the while I pulled out my hair. We started at 3:30 and I think we finished at 6:45. Yeah, that wasn’t cool.

Bobby has his field trip today. My dad is going with them. That should be awesome.

If I can get an appointment this morning I think I will go. I am guessing there are no appointments.

too freaking god damned holy fuck hot!

5-15-14

Fuck you, scorching heat.

Seriously, I was dying last night. I hate sleeping when it is hot. I can’t get comfortable to save my life. I have slept without covers for 3 nights in a row. Thankfully it looks as though tonight is the last of the brutal temperatures. I am so done with this.

I seem to have injured my left hand. I hate it when I do something and I honestly have no idea what the hell I did. I wonder if I slept on it crazy what with my thrashing about at night. It feels like a strange strain between my thumb and finger. I love it when I break myself.

Work has been hectic and crazy. Granted, I managed to go through all of Jean’s backlog yesterday in order to clean up her crap. I also kept up with my own things. I see a bunch of emails right now, though, that show me I am in for a long day again.

My phone just yelled at me saying it has no more room. That seems bad. I guess it is time to go through all the pictures and delete a bunch of old ones.

It occurs to me my hand hurts from using my phone. I guess I am not a teenager. I have to strengthen those muscles. LOL!

It looks to be a Costco type of night. The good news is that it will most likely be cool in there compared to the heat outside. The bad news is that we will need to unload groceries in this heat.

I think my mirror at work is magical. It makes me look pretty. Then I go and try to duplicate it with a picture on my phone and I look like a goober. What up?

I wonder if I can sleep with my eyes open.

I feel like coffee would be good since it has that magical elixir called caffeine, but have I mentioned how hot it is? Sheesh!

hot afternoon

5-14-14

What a super fantastic visit!

Stacey came over yesterday to pick up the strollers. We were able to visit for about an hour, which was really fun! Having not hung out with her before, it was incredibly easy to talk to her and truly I felt like she was one of those kindred spirits. We talked all things cat, kid and Harry Potter. LOL! It was a wonderful present to me since I was happy those strollers were going to not only someone who I know will use them, but someone who was just so dang cool!

The afternoon after that was spent in a chair and a shower. Ok, not at the same time, but I did go back and forth a lot. Ken spent a lot of time working on my hair which has now resulted in a fun lavender color. I wish the reds had come out more and it is possible I should have done one more blonde treatment before diving into color, but it isn’t bad. Plus, I could always add more color. In fact, it might be interesting at some point to add blue on all of the red spots. That being said, I know I will need a touch up as it looks like we missed one section. It looks good, though, and my hair is not screaming at me so I take that as a win.

Of course the boys spent much of the afternoon in the pool. I don’t blame them one bit. It was crazy hot. Today I think it is supposed to be even worse. In some ways, I am quite glad they get out early since it means we can power through homework and they can go jump in the pool. I feel like I have something I have to attend to, but I can’t for the life of me remember what it is right now. LOL!

My throat being sore is getting incredibly old. Ken picked up my nose spray, but it still is one of those things that doesn’t completely work. I end up sucking on a cough drop all night. It is only one, and I wedge it in my lip so it doesn’t come out, but I am sure my brain is not completely shut down because I have allocated resources to keep me from choking on the thing.

Matt was in a car accident. He is ok. Some guy not paying attention slammed into the back of him which in turn pushed his truck into another car. Hopefully the car isn’t too bad off. It doesn’t have a whole lot of miles on it, and it has brand new tires. My dad was dealing with State Farm yesterday so we shall see how it goes.

Nature

5-13-14

Better, and I understand more.

It all became crystal clear last night as to why I was so dang tired and melancholy. Thanks to the weakened body from allergies, Mother Nature decided it was the ideal setting to make sure I remember that I am a woman.

I stayed very mellow for the day. I did some light chores and spent some time reading my book before hiking up in the blistering heat to get the boys. Even the dogs were unhappy with the rise in temperature. And yesterday wasn’t even hot. Bleah.

The boys spent much of the evening in the pool. Lily got her first foray into Brenan backyard swimming. Luna of course was a seasoned professional, but I have to say I was impressed that Lily could climb out of the pool using the ladder. Lily is not as keen on climbing said ladder to get in, preferring to do her freakishly high jumping to get her up to the edge of the pool. You would think she was part Jack Russell.

Lily does need to practice some more on this dog paddle thing. Apparently the only thing that comes natural is the front leg flailing. She started to figure out how to use her back legs a bit more, but it didn’t always seem to be her first thought.

I starved the children last night. Ok, not really. I did, however, teach them a lesson. I made dinner, which was all stuff they would like. They ate very little, mostly due to being overly excited about playing in the pool. I told them several times that they should eat more since they would undoubtedly be hungry later. They did not listen. Of course, come time to get out, they declared their desire for nourishment. I explained that it was now too late for food. This resulted in sobbing children.

I did let them have some apples and bread after they pissed and moaned for a long time. I didn’t “give in” so much as I was “being nice”. They had already determined that they would not be getting food from me, which was the perfect time for the ole switcheroo. Yay mom!

My throat isn’t nearly as sore as it was yesterday and the day before. Don’t get me wrong, I am still in pain, but I can tell it isn’t anything like Strep or worse. It seems directly related to my nose being all kinds of honked up with allergies.

I have a girl coming over today to pick up the two backpack strollers. I went to high school with her and kind of connected at the reunion. She always seemed like one of the cool kids and I was quite pleased that not only did she know who I was, but seemed genuinely happy to see me there. She recently announced that she was having twins so I offered her the strollers. She was quite pleased! I am very happy to get them over to someone who will get to use them.

I am anxious for the next step with my hair. It is much too blonde for me to deal with. I feel wrong. I don’t know what it is, but blonde hair on me makes me look like a stranger. I can have any other color, but the blonde just isn’t me. The reds are already coming out on their own, so the treatment we got will most likely just finish the job. That means I should be able to rock some lavender by the end of the week. Yay!

I hate covering Jean’s desk only because I can’t do any of her work until Fred gets in the office. He has to approve the override to allow me access to her stuff. Mind you, it is already ok for me to do it, but it has to be done daily in the system, which sucks because I have work piling up in the morning that I can’t do for a couple hours. It is crazy frustrating. On Thursday, Fred is on vacation until Tuesday, which means Trusty has to approve it. Sadly, I have no idea when he will get around to approving it. It could be close to 9 before he does, which will certainly put a kink in getting work done in a timely fashion. Sigh.

sinus

5-12-14

Whimper.

I have a horrific sinus headache this morning along with that tender to the touch pain on my face from it. Of course, this is all coupled with horrid pain in my throat. I ache. I hate this. I just put in for a refill on my nose spray which should hopefully help. This week is supposed to be blistering hot so I would like to get all of this in check before that time.

Thankfully we got the pool up yesterday so when it is hotter than the surface of the sun in a few days, I can toss myself into it and feel better.

Friday night Doug’s piano went to a hipster. He and his buddy came over and oohed and awed over it and were quite thrilled with the potential. The hipster is a musician who makes scores for independent films. He is planning on removing the casing and using the actual piano part to make music. He told me he would also send me pictures. This new home certainly takes away the guilt of getting rid of it since I know that Doug would appreciate it going to someone who will make music with it.

The registration at the Farmer’s Market went well. We had even more signups than the first market round and despite the crazy wind, it was a lot of fun.

Grammie and Great Aunt Dee came to see Steve. They liked it! It was a nice visit where my mom was most likely thrilled that we could visit with her mother and aunt while she got to play with the boys. LOL!

Sarah, Alyssa and I went out to dinner in Long Beach where we got to hang out for several hours of girl time. It was wise of me to drink before we even left since the drinks there were quite pricey, but either way, it was a wonderful time.

We made it through Mass. Actually, it wasn’t that bad. I found it all quite interesting. Poor Dax was much less thrilled with having to sit still that long. That kid couldn’t stop moving for more than 2 seconds at any time. Sabrina looked freaking adorable and I loved the giant hug she gave me. We hung out at Ellen’s house for the after party and I got to hang out with Donna, which was really fun. The boys did manage to pin me on the couch for most of the time so I wasn’t able to get up, which made it nice when Donna and Stephanie were there to talk with.

Seriously, Dax is being quite clingy lately. I wonder what is up with that.

It looks as though I have another day of crazy dual desk workload this morning. I really just want to be back in bed. 

super me

5-9-14

Busy, but I feel like I should still take a moment.

Today is the first day of covering Jean’s desk while she is gone for 3 weeks. It sounds like a daunting task, but in reality it should be fine. Sadly it does take place during a time where I have reports to do, but I will make due. I always do.

I stood my ground with my boss yesterday. I was dangerously close to throwing in the towel on the argument, but I knew I was right and that Trusty was simply holding dear to his precious script and buzz words. I convinced him that since it was his approval that just needed to be sent to the SAS team who needed to rebill my floor plan account that he didn’t need to email me this approval. He could simply email them and cc me. It shouldn’t have taken that much convincing, but I am glad I didn’t back down.

This morning I walked in to find two brand new credit applications, a giant stack of accounts to be entered into Sabrix, and a request from Trusty to create this comparison report. Clearly collections are out of the question for today. Good think I already kicked ass on that all week.

Yesterday I tackled the catio. I rearranged some things and swept up all the accumulated crud that was hiding behind boxes and crates. I found what looked like it must have been from a dinosaur, pile of fossilized cat poo. It was pretty damned epic. I know that shouldn’t be funny, but it made me laugh quite a bit. I made that room look pretty good.

I thought I would top it off by using the water pressure machine thingy (yeah, my brain is a bit fried this morning; cut me some slack) to clean the cement. I pulled the hose through the family room on the machine itself when the hose popped off. Yeah, that was fun. Luckily the water spillage was minimal on the floor. Sure, it was all over me, but I did save the carpet.

The house needs a nice floor once over (which will hopefully end up shining if we can get our floor cleaner from a different Target tonight) and we are ready for Grammie and Aunt Dee to come be introduced to Steve. Yay! I want the place all ready to go tonight since we are at registration from like 7:45 to 1:15 tomorrow.

Ken had a soccer meeting last night, and I had accomplished all my chores so I opted to take a few hits and chill watching Mad Men. Yeah, I am really enjoying this new vice. It is so relaxing. When I crawled into bed I felt so comfy. Dax came in all upset about zombies, but instead of being frustrated that he was stalling, I talked him down quietly and he and Bobby went to bed ok. It was great! I think tonight looks to be a similar night once I get the floors cleaned.

Ok, I suppose I should tackle this pile of paperwork. 

Coffee IV

5-8-14

I am not completely sure coffee will be enough fuel for this morning.

Work certainly tried to piss me off again yesterday, but I tried to keep it mostly in check. The meeting that could have potentially had me unhinged was bad, but thanks to a numtastic lunch and the fact that the meeting was only an hour kept my mind from exploding.

When I got home my mission was clear. I had a house that needed some good scrubbing.

I kicked some ass. I steam cleaned the kitchen floor, cleared out some clutter in the family room and did a shit ton of laundry. I need to straighten up the catio, but that isn’t as crucial. We need to power wash the cement in there, specifically, but I am guessing Ken can take care of that.

Since Ken’s soccer game was at 8, I decided that the boys and I could go along. I know that he would like us to come to more of his games, and 8 is much more doable for my sleep schedule than a 9 game. At first I was feeling bad because Ken said other wives come each week. Yeah, once I got there I felt much better since the wives that were there were clearly not thrilled about it. Hell, I was the only one watching the game and cheering.

My afternoon looks to be less crazed what with having accomplished a lot of the cleanup yesterday. I do have to crack the whip a bit on homework, and I would like to straighten the back room and some other things for Grammie’s visit. Ken has a meeting tonight, so the boys and I will be chilling much of the night alone.

I found a beautiful classic car. Sadly it is $11K. I really need to start playing that lottery.

Trusty

5-7-14

Dis-enchanted.

That is how I am feeling this morning. It is a carryover from yesterday’s bullshit. I like my boss for the most part. He means no real harm. That being said, he is an idiot and there are times when despite his seemingly clueless puppy routine, he needs to be swatted on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.

His total lack of solidarity with his own department is legendary. He will always sign us up for tasks that have little to nothing to do with our department’s function, not considering the additional work load or time it will take. In a battle between departments and how a procedure will be done, he will always side with the manager of the other team, essentially throwing us under the bus much like the entire company does.

In the latest back stabbing, he allowed the new head of what truly is customer service have him write up a procedure for customer disputes that has credit and collections reps gathering ALL of the data needed for a credit memo. Our function at this company is to collect past due monies. Yet now we have been thrust into handling invoices that were only just billed yesterday. If said invoice was billed wrong because sales or inside sales fucked up, it is our responsibility to get all of that information and gift wrap it for the new team to simply push a button to issue credit.

The hoops have been placed and lit with fire. During the meeting yesterday he said no less than 6 times how this would be more work for us, but that ultimately it made it easier for the other team. Um, yeah, as if this is something we are supposed to be doing? We didn’t screw up in the first place, yet we are being punished.

It is all absurd and tedious and once again strengthens my resolve to not help make things better. Like a petulant child, I will simply ignore the new procedure and get things done the way they should be and play by my own rules. Sure, one could make the argument that I am being a rebel. Instead I am choosing the very popular phrase of “being on the right side of history”.

Either way, yesterday made me feel unappreciated as an employee. It was the source of great stress and frustration that left me wondering if looking for another job would be better or if I just needed to suck it up.

For now, I suck it up. Despite the copious amounts of bullshit I have to sift through, the ultimate perks are still outweighing it.

Sugar Crash

5-6-14

Stress sucks.

I do have a new theory, though. You know how when you have too much sugar and you get hyper and goofy, and then when the sugar wears off you have your crash? Well, I am starting to think that perhaps me being too happy and cheerful with people (especially when I am uncomfortable) will result in a mood crash of epic proportions.

I picked up the boys from school and found myself trying to stay super cheery. Mostly this was due to me being happy to see them, but also I wanted to get homework done quickly without any kind of fight or breakdown. Thankfully homework was done and we even laughed a lot before heading into the dentists’ office for the cleaning appointments for Bobby and myself.

The apt was easy enough, but I tend to get into my strange giggly polite girl thing when I am around people like at a doctor’s office. It is strange, but at least I know I do it. It is the same mode that the boys question as to why it is that I am so nice to people. I don’t know if that means I am a bitch to other people, or if they just think it is cool. Either way, I do go out of my way to be uber sweet to people.

We left the dentist and headed over to PetSmart in order to prevent a coup and to replace the gentle lead for Lily that seems to have disappeared after our trip to the Compound. Truly, the shopping wasn’t going to take long what with there being only 2 things we needed. I picked up a couple other things (what? They were on clearance!) and dinked around in the store. Why was I dinking? I was waiting on Ken to make sure money was transferred into the correct account and to make sure I got everything we needed. Sadly, he was driving which made this take much longer. Plus, for some reason the store didn’t like my card. It was a kerfluffle of crazy which was only made worse by me still trying to be chipper. Plus, the boys were all excited at my chipper and were trying to show me things on their games the whole time I was on the phone, at the register, trying to stay calm.

In the midst of this, my mom also called. I didn’t answer only because I was on the phone. She happened to call right back and I answered all flustered, which only meant I was starting to melt.

I still had to go across the street to Daiso to get flowers for teacher appreciation week. And of course, the card still was angry with me. I tried to get a hold of Ken and he wasn’t answering texts. I was spent.

I drove to Taco Bell and called him. It was right at this point he had responded indicating his phone was not making noises for texts for some reason. I was flustered. I told him how I just wanted to make sure Taco Bell was still the plan and that I wouldn’t have any issues.

I ordered and sent him a quick text to apologize for being a notch. Yes, notch, because autocorrect was not keen on me calling myself a bitch for some reason.

It was at the window that it looked as though I had been using an old card that I had not removed from my wallet. Oops. Turned out notch meant dumb ass.

Sigh.

I tried to de-stress by playing with the dogs outside, but it was at this point that apparently Trixie tried to have some kind of stroke or seizure. Ken said she did this random collapse. She didn’t repeat it, but that was not great for my level of yie.

I ended up going downstairs and lay down on the carpet. Ken had just vacuumed so it was all clean. Lily in particular was thrilled with this as it meant she could lick my face to her heart’s content. Both the dogs were happy because they could play down there with me close. Trixie came and hung out with me too. Sissy tried, but the dogs’ antics were much too crazed for her to deal. She did mew at me from afar, though.

It was crazy relaxing. I didn’t have any idea what was going on in the rest of the house and I was essentially forcing myself to stop. I think I will try this again tonight, this time I may have a couple of hits to really force the issue. I think that it is something good for me and I need to make a point of taking time like this.

Saturday is gearing up to be busy. In the morning we have the Farmer’s Market registration. After that, Grammie and Aunt Dee are coming to see Steve. This means I am in crazy cleaning mode this week, but that is ok. It is another one of my calming techniques and I had been meaning to straighten up, anyway.

Sarah is picking me up at 5 to go to a place in Long Beach with Alyssa for our long overdue monthly hangout. Yay!

Now I just have to make it through 8 hours of this place. Bleah. 

Boat

5-5-14

Hola!

Last night was the best night of sleep I have had in probably a week. Thank goodness for the weather finally realizing it isn’t August. I know it is only going to get hot again, but I was pleased to be able to snuggle under multiple blankets because it wasn’t boiling out. Ken and I have been talking that perhaps one of those room air conditioners might be interesting. Sadly, they are pricey.

I am currently rockin a new hair color. It is really a work in progress. My plan is blue, which means my hair needs to lightened before the blue will really take. The last few times we used blonde dye in a series of 3 sessions in order to make my hair light and ready for blue. This time we decided to use this Ion lightening powder. Ken was much more nervous than me. For this reason the first round we only did 10 minutes before rinsing. It certainly was lighter, so I dried it and we went another round, this time for about 30 minutes. My hair is a dirty blonde color now, but what is really funny is that the red stayed. So I have this blonde hair with a kind of reddish/pink top. It looks on purpose, so it is kind of cool. I put in my strand saver spray and have put in some of the avocado oil I have, too, just to keep my hair hydrated. It doesn’t feel too bad all things considered. Now I just need to figure out how to remove the red. I will be able to put on the blue once I get the red faded more since adding blue to the red would most likely make some purple streaks. Mind you, this is not a bad thing. Actually, if it did that it might look pretty freaking amazing.

Saturday was registration day. I am all kinds of frustrated since I am off on my cash. I have a feeling that one of my credit card customers was entered on my spreadsheet as cash. I have to get a credit card charge sheet and then I can compare at that point. My checks were perfect which means it has to be cash/credit card. Other than this little hiccup the registration went well. It was pretty solid busy for about 3 hours. I was able to wear my costume for a good chunk. That was awesome! I did get beat up by some kids, though. Ken and I have decided that going forward we need to always have a handler. Dax was super worried about the costume since when he and Bobby wore it kids beat them up, too. Dax didn’t want the costume destroyed.

We saw Spiderman yesterday. It was great! I cried, which I realize isn’t a shock, but man, it was a flick that hit me hard even though I kind of knew who would die. It was a fun flick, though. We have our next big Marvel flick on May 23^rd. X-Men comes out that day. WOO HOO! We picked up the one before it so we could rewatch it. We kind of wished we had done that with Spiderman. 

I was surprised that the boys want to see Godzilla. It looks really freaky scary! It looks great, but there is a worry that it will be too much for them in the theatre. I know they are getting older and don’t need to only see fluffy animation anymore, but I still worry.

Ok, I know I bitch about being treasurer, but seriously, I adore my soccer family.

I am worried about Stephanie. She was in the hospital twice over the weekend and it is freaking me out. I know she will be ok, but I don’t like her being sick like this.

Field trip crazy is taking over this morning. Bobby has another field trip next week (Griffith Observatory) and they can have one parent chaperone come. I can’t because I am covering for Jean being out. I didn’t think Ken could make it because it was a Friday and he has one class he can’t bail on. So I told Bobby this and he still wanted at least Daddy to go (yeah, you would think I would be upset that he didn’t want me, but I loved that he wanted Ken for his science trip). I told him he could ask maybe Gramma or Poppy. So he opted to ask Poppy. There are complications, now, since I realized this morning that Poppy will need to get cleared by Miss Sharon in the front office, which means getting the TB test like today. Plus, he wasn’t thrilled about having to drive up there on his own. Yes, he could follow the bus, but it could be a nightmare for things like parking up there and then having to find the class. I might talk to some of the other parents and see if someone would be willing to drive up with him. Either way, it is crazy. Ken said he could take the day off, so if it turns out to be more trouble than it is worth for my dad, we will go that route.

Stupid complications.

I think this week I just need to get into some form of routine and don’t rock any boats.  

Outdoor Shower?

5-2-14

Little kids make me cry.

Ok, not really, but man do I turn into a silly girl when I watch a bunch of kids sing and dance for a school. I don’t even need to know the kids. I was seriously all kinds of beaming proud of every single kid up on that stage last night. I wanted to hug them all.

Taylor and her singing partner did great! The show had some technical issues which did cause a few things to be off, but it really didn’t matter. The kids all did great. Poor Taylor’s partner, though. After the performance she felt she screwed up and was crying. I felt so bad for her! Of course later, she burst into tear when she realized the popcorn stand was closed. She may have just been a little dramatic.

The boys and I got home not too much before Ken got back from the board meeting. I had been stressed about timing all afternoon since it was falsely determined that we needed to have Dax interview my mom for his family tree project. This meant we went to my folks’ before going to the school for the singing. This meant we got home from school, which was after a grocery store stop, and we had to eat dinner and get homework done before we had to head out to Redondo Beach. I was a little spazzed out. Luckily my timing on all of it worked out and we not only got all the homework completed (which turned out to be even ahead of schedule) and got to the talent show with plenty of time.

This afternoon we are meeting up with my folks to go to the Big Wok for Ken’s birthday dinner. We will essentially be leaving the boys in their care as we go pick up a couple of registration items and then get home to bed. It is a long day ahead of us tomorrow. Registration until 3, and then we will stop by Frank Kenny’s party. Once we are home, though, we can totally relax. We don’t have to get up early on Sunday, so we can sleep a bit. The plan Sunday is to get to work on setting up the pool. Ken mostly cleared out the area where it goes. I am thinking before we put it up we really should paint the backside of the house. Then we can set up the pool. If we wait on painting, it would be probably ill-advised to paint while the pool is actually up.

I feel the need to price out sod. Seriously the dirt bowl in the backyard plus large body of water equals yuck.

I wonder how hard it would be to set up a shower outside. Like one of those ones at the beach that the kids can use to hose off before going inside the house. Hmm…

Fog

5-1-14

Well I kind of forgot to write this.

I have been on a crazy auto pilot this morning. Of course, I did spend a lot of the time working on AYSO stuff. I also feel like the special chocolate I took last night to sleep (it was very hot out, I needed help) was still chillin in my system. It is neat in a lot of ways. That being said, I am shocked to find that it is already 7.

Yesterday had me in a meeting with the boys. They have been arguing over everything lately. Of course, they are brothers close in age, and said age is the time when the fighting begins. Still, they were nuts yesterday morning and Ken lost it. He essentially told them that they would no longer be allowed to do anything together. They would have separate rooms, have to walk to school apart, etc.

Clearly this would not be something we could do. It did mean Ken checked in with me after he dropped them off and we discussed numerous issues including Bobby’s slow work, chores, the fighting and everything else. I took this information and wrote up a chore calendar that they will start using today. It has one kid doing dishes while one does pans at the same time. It still is their normal chores, but they won’t work together on some of it.

There is also a point system that they have to earn screen time. This is going to be tough since Dax doesn’t care as much if he loses computer privileges. It is a work in progress, but I am hopeful. I also am attempting to do the no yell policy again. Yesterday wasn’t too bad.

Bobby and I spent a lot of time of homework, mostly because I was lost on the fraction crap. We found out after Ken got home that we were confused because the packet was stapled in the wrong order, so we ended up at the top of the mountain without any knowledge of how to get there. Yeah, that was not easy.

Dax was all upset because I had returned his library book that I thought he had finished. Apparently he was not quite done. So I packed up the boys and we went to the library. Bobby and I continued on homework, which was great since I think the new atmosphere actually helped. Dax went and got his book along with the next 3. It was all good.

We went and picked up dinner since I thought Ken should have a nice birthday dinner. I made the boys do a lot of chores since due to their fight yesterday morning they lost computer time. We did a lot just so that today’s new schedule will work out best.

Tonight is Taylor’s talent show. The boys and I are going. Ken is going to be me and him at the board meeting. It is my long Thursday night, but its ok since it will be sweet to see Taylor sing. I know she is nervous.

I still have training today. I have been swamped with reports and other things so I set up accounts every now and again, mostly trying to not do a bunch at once since it will not stay in my head as well.

I am looking at the weather for Saturday and I know I will need to be careful to not get heatstroke while walking around in my costume.