Can Puppies fly?

4-8-09

I have a lot to write about, but I just don’t have the energy. I am still so freaking tired. Of course, it didn’t help that I didn’t get to sleep until 10. In all fairness, it was not really my fault. It was the people who make the show House. I would have been perfectly happy catching up on the 2 episodes I was behind on when I was more rested. But they go and kill off one of my favorite characters on the show, and really, I had to watch. I have to say, the episode from last week was Emmy worthy. It was with Mos Def and he has locked in syndrome. It is shot so cool and the acting is perfect. It was a remarkable episode, and I think that it deserves an Emmy nod. As for this week’s episode, holy freaking crap! Look, I knew who died before hand. It didn’t take away the shock or the tears. It was so sad, and once again, I thought was shot well. I loved the use of lighting. And seriously, when they find Kutner, it may be some of the most heartbreaking scenes I have seen in a while.

My weekend was long and productive. Friday night was date night, which was fab. The Melting Pot was a lot of fun. A little pricey, but I suppose when you get right down to it, we did have a lot of high priced meats which along with the novelty, adds up. It was amusing to figure out how long to cook things. There were only a couple of fondue fo’paus committed, and we managed to not under cook things that needed the raw taken out, and we liked just about everything we got. I was shocked that there is such a thing as too much chocolate. Granted, it was a large helping, and it was meant for two, and we all know Ken wasn’t eating any of it. I was actually stuffed after the yummy melted chocolate, and I even left some. That is saying something.

Saturday and Sunday were pretty basic. Target shopping, boys played at BK play structure, boys played in yard and in pool, we bowled, got to go to Don Jose’s, and generally just had a good weekend. Saturday morning was particularly superb since the boys not only slept in, they were uber cute when they came in to our bedroom and hung out with us on the bed. Sunday was perfect if only because I got Don Jose’s, but even beyond that, it was good. We moved the kiddie pool under the slide, and made an impromptu water slide for the boys. Bobby especially loved it. He has always been part fish. He went down the water slide 100 times. The only reason he stopped was when it was getting a little cold out and we decided it was time to start getting the yard cleaned up.

I took Monday off in order to help Ken move out of the shop. In a pretty standard Gena move, I managed to injure myself before I even got started. Ken dropped me off about a block away from the shop when I pointed out that while he ran and did some of the errands, I could get started on the packing. I was wearing my favorite jeans, which are torn up and really much too long for flip flops. Yet I insist on wearing these pants. As I walked towards the shop, one of the chunks of hem that has long since separated from my pant leg decided to loop around my foot, causing the fall. I almost caught myself, too, but I ended up going down to the pavement. I actually assumed that my knee had taken the brunt of the force. I must have gone down in spectacular fashion since someone in a car at the light even asked me if I was ok. Fantastic. I wiped myself off, and headed to the shop. I hurt, but I figured it was nothing. I proceeded to bust my ass for the next 5 hours, getting the store emptied and packed up. I of course injured myself several more times over the course of that 5 hours. Let’s see, a table fell on me, I scraped my back against an exposed knife on a shelf, I cut myself on some broken glass in the office, and then there was just countless bumps and bruises from things falling on me, or things I would stub my toe on. I was crazy sore when I headed for home at around 3. I sat down for a few minutes before I went and got the boys. When I got up, I noticed the significant pain coming from my left foot. I chalked it up to just being sore from all the activity. I mean, sure, it hurt all day, but you play through. It took a lot of effort to hobble across the street to get the kids. When I got home, I sat down and iced my foot. After the 20 minutes, I went to get up and determined that I could no longer put any weight on my foot. I am sure the relaxing just made my foot realize that it hurt, a lot. I tried to move around the house, and it was awful. Ken called the doc and made me an appt for 6:30 to verify that I didn’t break it. My dad has the broken foot that he bowled on all day and then went and got it checked out and it was broke. It seemed reasonable that I could have done something stupid like that.

I got to the doc early, since normally they let you in pretty early there. It was not going to be an early night. The doc was swamped. I got there at a quarter to 6 and I didn’t leave until 8. I suppose that isn’t too bad, but for our doc, that is a long time. The bulk of waiting was just waiting for the doc himself. My x-rays took all of 15 minutes, and of course things like vitals and what not took a few minutes tops. I didn’t even see the doctor for more than 5 minutes total. He looked at my foot, all the while writing up the radiology request, and sent me on my way for that. When I came back up, he saw me for 2 minutes to show me the x-ray, tell me he didn’t see a break, but that he would have a radiologist look at it and let me know if they find anything. He told me it was likely I pulled some ligaments and that an ace bandage is my friend. It wasn’t my normal doc, and he was grumpy. I tend to love grumpy, especially when if anything, I should be the one who is in a bad mood. Instead, I turn on the uber goofball endearing charm. I don’t know what it is. I want them to smile. I figure if I can make the a-hole laugh, I rock. I do something similar in lectures or meetings. My goal is to get the person talking to focus all of their speaking on me. Speakers are supposed to never just focus on one person, so I take great pride when I can throw them off. Yes, I am lame. Any hoo, I did in fact get my grumpy doc to crack a few smiles, so yay me!

Kal Penn is on the radio right now. I loved his character on House so much, but I am telling you, I have so much respect for him right now. As much as I will miss Kutner, I am so happy he can do something that he has passion for.

My foot hurts less today than it has. It still feels like a brick fell on it, but I can walk a little better. I don’t have it wrapped, but I don’t walk a lot here. I should be ok.

I am upset since I found out that American Idol ran over last night and that means my recording doesn’t have Adam singing Mad World. Dammit! He is one of the ones I want to see! I guess I have to pull it up on the site tonight. They just played a clip. So freaking good!

My keyboard is filthy. I need to clean it!

My evening, luckily, is pretty quiet. Ken has a bit more to do at the shop today, and then I think he will be out for good. However, all of that stuff is now at my house, which is stuff he needs to go through and organize for garage storage. I am wondering if now is the time to go ahead and get that shed. There are quite a few things still in the house, and those need to be gone through as well. I am also taking a box from this adventure and using it for the books on the shelves I am taking down. That will clear up a lot of room. Once the return comes, I also want to go get the boys’ new toy storage things. For $100, I think I can parse down their toys in such a way that their rooms will be way cleaner and less cluttered. I also need to go to Big Lots this week. I may do that tonight since it is quick.

I have my furlough days scheduled. Yes, my work has decided that due to low sales and the general slow down due to the economy, we each need to take 12 of these unpaid days. It was handled poorly in terms of scheduling, but it is what it is. I am now not working on the 20th of this month, and I have approx 2 days off a month until the end of the year. I have decided to use these days to my advantage. On the 20th, Ken shouldn’t have classes yet, and we have passes to Legoland, so I think a trip down there is in order. I have July 2nd off, which gives me a 4 day weekend (we get July 3rd off as a holiday), so we are thinking of going camping at Big Sycamore Canyon. I also will probably use some of the random Wednesdays to take the boys to the museum or the zoo. Sure, I will make a point of using one or two of the days for me, and I am sure that a whole lot of housework will be done. I tend to take off a lot of unpaid leave each year anyway, so this is really just allowing me to do it without getting in any trouble. Not that I was, but you know what I mean. As Tammy pointed out, she is more than ok with the break she will get from here. It has been super stressful since they want us to collect money from people who have none. I suppose it isn’t smart of me to be writing when I could be collecting. Then again, as I pointed out, it is difficult to get something from nothing. Either way, I think I will get some work done.

Have you ever been jealous of something you really don’t want but you think you do?

I have come to the conclusion that despite my desire to be someone remarkable beyond my close friends and family, I really am not that person. A lot of that is my lack of suitable ambition to achieve those heights. The other part is that despite my mediocre talents, I am not note worthy. I am not getting down on myself. I actually find this to be freeing. I have spent a great deal of time stressing about not losing my identity and making sure that I have not settled. I don’t think that I have spent enough time just being happy for what I AM. Don’t get me wrong, I still intend on working towards feeling better about myself, but I can’t keep trying to be a person that I was never meant to be. I recognize that I am a good person. I know that I have made a difference in a lot of people’s lives. I will continue that, and hopefully be even better. Let’s face it, though. I write some funny stuff from time to time. I am a good worker (yes, this isn’t proof of this claim, but I would like to point out that I am so good that I have this time). I am an excellent mother. I have to stop shooting for perfection. My house is always going to be messy. I am not thrilled, and I have to understand why on that. I have to admit, a lot of this has stemmed from me worrying about what other people will think of my house. As much as I would love to have more people visit, it just doesn’t happen. The house only has to look good for me. If I want it clean because it makes me happy, then so be it. If I am looking to not trip over Buzz Lightyear for the 50th time this week, then yes, it should be clean. But if a few stacks of paper or a full laundry basket isn’t cramping my style, then why should I stress over it? I haven’t really worked out all the details of this plan to be less worried. I know that it will take time. No, I am not going to be a slob or stop working. I just need to, dare I say, relax and take pleasure in what is going right. I keep getting so worked up over everything. It makes the big things that do need fussing about seem less important to the people around me since I don’t have an appropriate scale for priorities. If I can do that, I will probably find that I get not only the help I need, I will also find the inner peace that really is what I need. Of course, all of this could just be my strange philosophical mumbo jumbo that seems to come from a bored day at work and a blank word document in front of me. Hell, I may forget all of this once I post this.

I realize that I forgot to order the bouncy balls from Oriental Trading Co. I may just go and get a bag of M’s and put those in the eggs. This has two advantages. One, M’s are just perfect in every way. Two, I can get them anywhere. Oh, and they will be gone that day, so I don’t have more toys to get rid of in 6 months. LOL!

There are things I need to add to my backyard to make it perfect for this summer. One, I need music. I need some speakers and somewhere to plug in the iPod. Two, we need some lights. If we are out late, I would like some kind of lighting. And lastly, a table. Sure, the kids have their little table, but when Ken and I eat out there with them, we don’t fit. Plus, they are close to outgrowing that table anyway. I may need to start trolling Craig’s List for patio furniture.

My head/neck hurts. It isn’t really my neck, but it isn’t as high up as my head. I just took some Ibuprofen.

The day is going slowly.

I just had to try and explain something relatively easy to my boss, and to say it was difficult is an understatement. I have determined that showing him anything is like teaching a puppy how to fly. He wants to do it, really badly, but he just doesn’t have it in him. He looks at you with that look of, I get it, but what am I doing again? It is the dumb dog look. You have to throw him a treat for trying, but really, it would be best to just give him a bone and call it good.