sadness

4-30-09

Happy birthday, Ken!

Today I feel a little off. Perhaps it is because I feel like I actually got some sleep. It has been so long since a god night sleep, I don’t know what to do with myself.

Yesterday afternoon, I got the boys early so we could go and get Ken a birthday present. We ran by the bank and then off to Target. I figured Ken could use some new shirts, and I had the boys help me out. Let’s just say Ken ended up with 3 t-shirts, all with some kind of skull on them.

My coworkers just alerted me to 3 dead kittens. What a horrible find. They were out on the front steps, one out in the middle, and two under sprinklers. They probably died from the cold based on the lack of distress. I had seen mama when I was in the parking lot, moving something. It looked like a baby. So now, I have Renee on alert to ask the warehouse guys to let me over in that area once they get in so I can possibly retrieve the last baby. I went out there now, and I had seen mama, who looks uber feral. So upsetting. The kittens couldn’t have been more than a couple weeks. Good sized kittens, but not walking yet. Eyes were already open. So sad.

Stupid warehouse guys are still not here. I can’t get into the yard until they do. Not good!!

On to more cheery things since if I dwell on this right now I will go crazy.

We went to the Disney store after Target with the goal of obtaining a Bolt doll for the kids. Dax especially loves him some Bolt. Unfortunately, they didn’t have any. Apparently, they sell out quick. But the good news, they get more, so I have another trip out to Disney. Perhaps a different location. Of course, they had gobs of Buzz Lightyear stuff, which the boys loved.

Our net was down all night, which sucked. AT&T had some kind of circuit blow in our area, which truly sucked. On the plus side, because of that, I think I got to bed considerably earlier than I would have normally.

Ok, I just went through the yard and didn’t see any signs of a kitten. Of course, there are lots of hiding spots, but based on this mom, I don’t know that she would have hidden the kitten so well that I wouldn’t see him. I told the guy out there to have anyone get a hold of me if they find any baby, so hopefully they come across one. It was pretty cold out, but mama might have moved this recently enough that he was still warm.

I feel so sad about the kittens.

I just went and sat with the mama for a bit. She looks so young. She was looking for the three that had died. Poor mama looked so sad. I considered bringing back a trap this afternoon to catch her, but then I realized this would be a bad plan for the one baby that may still be alive. So I will keep an eye out for a kitten in the parking lot and once I think the baby is old enough to get trapped, I will set traps for both. Hopefully I am in fact setting a trap for a baby and a mama.

Let it be noted right now. Something feels wrong. Something is going down today. I don’t know what, or even if I am right. Let’s hope I am just crazy.

Mama cat keeps looking around for her babies. It is so freaking heartbreaking to see her.

My sleepyness has returned full force. I don’t know what the problem is. I also keep alternating between hunger and nausea. I don’t know what that is about. I felt the same yesterday. I even peed on a stick this morning just to be sure, since my boobs were super sensitive, and my period last week was non existent. I had originally chalked it up to my Mirena is doing as it predicted, which is making them practically go away. It has been like 6 months, so this would be about right. But the test only had lines, no pluses, so I seem to be in the clear on that for now. I of course assumed the worst and figured I would be the first case of Swine Flu in Torrance, but aside from a slightly sore throat, I feel ok. The hunger is because I am due to eat lunch in like 10 minutes. The yacky feeling? Don’t know yet. Hell, it could just be stress.

We are going out to dinner for Ken’s b-day tonight. The plan so far is Hometown Buffet since we have a coupon, and with the cheap kid fare, we end up getting dinner for 4 all under $20. Not bad, really.

Rummage sale at Robinson’s school in Manhattan Beach tomorrow night. It is from 5 to 7. We are doing birthday pie and dinner with my folks, but we should try to get down there to take a look. So perhaps we will go around 4:30, take a quick look, then head to my parent’s house. Or we will go after. Don’t know yet. Although, I realize just now that we have to get the other kits for the birthday party Ken is doing on Saturday. It also means I know I will end up being up late tomorrow night to get them set. Hopefully it is an easy one.

My number show this week rocked hard! Silver is now enrolled in Catholic school, which amused me just for the uniforms. But the best part about that is that she isn’t Catholic, she knows nothing about it, but this one chick who is uber religious tries to “save” her and decides to fast until she comes clean about her past. In the end, she tells the whole school how she made a sex tape, and these girls who are supposed to be all forgiving call her a whore. It is fantastic! I am loving the whole cast at this point. There are no weak spots. Ok, this is of course aside from my longing for the original gang to show up more often. I was a horrified, though, to find out that I only have 3 more episodes left this season!! How will I survive???

Ok, haven’t watched AI yet, but if I am understanding correctly, Adam was in the bottom two with button head? WTF???

I think my plan now is to retrieve the children when I get home, and bring them this way to drop off some food for the cat. I am considering letting them play at the park across the street for a while and then meet Ken over at the restaurant since he isn’t done until 5. So if he calls me when he is heading over there, we can go at that point. So if I head over here around 3:30, after I visit a bit, I can go to the park for an hour. Sounds possible! It will wear them out, work up an appetite, and that way they are set for a public place!