I am outta here

7-1-09

Good morning! I am feeling pretty groovy today. Mostly because I have 4 days off in just 7 hours and 45 minutes. But who is counting, right?

I am seriously considering bailing at noon. Not that I have anywhere to be or to do, but it would be a good start to the weekend.

Banner day in the Brenan household last night. My boys ate roasted chicken and stuffing!! YAY! It is the little victories that I thrive on. We had got on special 2 whole chickens so we decided to roast them Thanksgiving style complete with stuffing. They turned out yummy, and we presented a few pieces of chicken and a scoop of stuffing to the boys. They were skeptical at first. But both tasted everything, and both ate a bunch of chicken. Dax liked the stuffing, Bobby not as much, but I didn’t mind being that he tried it. And with no fight. We asked him to taste, and he popped it in his mouth! Awesome!

Dax also managed to handle the car wash. We went to the new one by the house that Bobby had conquered. We have dubbed it the Elmo car wash since I pointed out that the spinning washers looked like muppets. It pleased Bobby for there to be “Elmo” and it pleased me to watch “Elmo” get smacked around on my car. Win win if you ask me. On approach, Bobby tells Dax, “Don’t worry Dax, I will hold your hand and it will be fun.” I almost cried at how cute that was. I wasn’t sure he would make it. When I first mentioned going, I told Dax he needed to suck it up. “Mommy, I don’t want to suck it up.” But in fact he did, and did wonderful!

I apparently earned some good wife points on Monday. I saw that Ken’s friend Chris had posted about having an extra ticket for a showing of Die Hard at the Archlight. So I commented to him to contact Ken to see if he would want to go. Chris promptly called Ken and arrangements were made for him to go. Ken seemed confused about the whole thing, and a little concerned that the boys and I would be ok. I told him we would be fine (and we were. It was a super pleasant evening, and not only did the boys go to sleep quickly, I crashed out at 8:30 and there was no Stabby Joe!) and sent him out for some much needed R & R . He said the guys were not only impressed that he had “permission” to go out, but that I made the arrangements. It isn’t like I am collecting my wife points to turn in for some grand prize, but it is nice to have your husband’s friends like you and not think you are the ol’ ball and chain.

My nails are growing great on all my fingers except my thumbs. I am thinking of getting the Nail-Tek crap I used to use before I got pregnant. It will thicken my nails, and that would be good. I wonder if they still sell it.

14 people on the Gunners group! I am so proud. I have had communication with several of the girls, and despite not being the social one back then, I feel good that I can organize a way for us to all get in touch, even if it is only over the net.

Today is going to test my happy. It will be a long day because it is my Friday. Also, the boss has been in uber annoying mode, asking stupid questions about everything. Luckily, I have answers, but he doesn’t always understand the answers. Already this morning I have dealt with 4 idiots, and it isn’t even 7:30, so that seems bad.

Noon is looking better and better. If I head out right when the boss goes to lunch, I am set.

It is still best of Kevin and Bean. I already have Ichipod on the radio. I may need to change over.

Of course, it always works this way. We had a possibility in which Ken and I had a day off together, and the kids had daycare. We were going to see a movie, just hang out, who knows. Well, of course, Maria closed daycare on Friday. She put up the notice today. Can we say short notice and rude? I don’t mind spending time with the boys, but I would have liked the alone time. Our potential plan now includes going bowling. More specifically, letting the boys bowl. They have quarter mania on Friday morning (which may be packed due to the holiday, so we will see) and this means they can bowl. They have dollar hot dog s and sodas, too, so it will be fun. Tomorrow I am still considering taking them up to Ken’s class, then going to the museum. Saturday I think we are doing bbq lunch with my folks, then late nap for them so we can go see fireworks late. You figure fireworks don’t start until a good 2 hours after their bedtime, so I want them to be prepared. No bowling on Sunday, since we will get home late. Of course, they will still end up getting up early knowing them, but I want to give them a chance to sleep. Of course, I could use tomorrow as my own day of nothing, but really, I think I would be bored. So I think I may get up with the boys, maybe go get breakfast, maybe swing by the office to let them say hello to Tammy, and go up to Ken’s work in the middle of his class instead of the whole time. I have plans but nothing is in stone. Kind of nice for a relaxing time, yet stressful for a control freak. We would do a movie, but nothing good was playing yet. Although I do know tonight, I have 4 episodes of HIMYM in season 2 we have not seen, and disc one of season 3 shows up today, so I think a bottle of wine and a late night is happening for me.

I think I want to re-read Ender’s Game and actually read the sequels, not just the Shadow series. I also would like to get all the short stories, and get it all in a nice set to give to Dax some day.

I am nervous. The boss has been quiet since he came in about 40 minutes ago. Hopefully he is just busy and not looking for things to bug me on. My plan is still noon, just because I don’t want to be here. I really should just suck it up, as it is only 2 hours early. Unfortunately I am using the same argument on why I should leave as it is only 2 hours, so who will notice my absence? Maybe if I started doing some real work I wouldn’t notice the slow day.

Headache!!!!

So there is FDA talk of banning Vicodin. Sure sure, it messes with your liver and folks can od on it. But isn’t that true of EVERYTHING you are given for pain? All of it needs to be used in moderation, and the problem is, we are a society of excess. Has it come down to something where we have to have good things taken from us because a small percentage of a-holes don’t know how to pop their pills responsibly? Pain management is a hard thing to deal with. I don’t know how hard it is thankfully on my own level. I can take things and I am better. Hell, I am the one walking around with a burst appendix for a week while popping Ibuprofen tablets and although I hurt, I should have been doubled over (or dead, really, but either way, not as much pain!). When in the hospital for my gall bladder, they gave me morphine I think, and damn, that shit rocks. The dizzy spinning followed by a quick urge to spew wasn’t so fun, but all that only lasts like 30 seconds, then you are in total bliss. And that epidural, holy fuck! I repeat, it was like hot chocolate being poured down the insides of your legs. It was thick and warm and happy making. No cinnamon smell, though. Or whipped cream. But good!

My experience is actually through Aaron. He has been in pain since as long as I can remember. His knees, which are all fuckered up, have caused him everything from actual joint pain to brain pain in which it is hard to say if there is actually something physical causing him the pain or if it is just psychological at this point. I have watched this guy pop like 100 vicodin in a day. No joke. We went to Disneyland once and he was taking handfuls every few hours just to function. Clearly, he had an issue. They have put him on so many different pain regimens, I can’t keep track. Now, as far as I know, he doesn’t take Vicodin anymore, but is this something we want to really ban if it could actually help him if administered correctly? A person with chronic pain doesn’t give a fuck about his liver maybe being compromised in 20 years. He just wants to make it through the night while doctors come up with a way to either help him, or fix the problem altogether.

You can replace a liver. Not easily, I know. It isn’t like there is Livers R Us out there somewhere. But in the grand scheme of things, I don’t think these doctors on this panel considered the good that comes from these pills. Pain is bad. It is something that we strive as a species to eliminate. I know that sometimes the options aren’t pretty, but dammit, pain is worse. Look at the stupid government banning medicinal pot. Are you kidding? Who is it hurting?? Not a damn person. Who is it helping? People with cancer. Don’t even get me started on the idea that we could make tons of dough on weed, as that is a different conversation altogether.

I know they have some compelling reasons to get rid of these drugs, I just wish they would come up with something better before they get rid of everything. They let cigarettes still be sold. They let booze be sold. Both kill people, and ironically often are used to ease pain. So why in the world can’t we have a vicodin?

They took away my cold meds for my kids. Look, I didn’t use them much, but there was one we did use that helped. One small dose and my kid could sleep through the night, not coughing or hacking up nasty. Yet that is gone. Next thing you are going to tell me is that we can’t use Advil. Or Aspirin. Are we heading towards a society that is so hell bent on avoiding law suit that we can’t let the people decide for themselves what risks they are willing to take with their own body? Look, if I want to take something that may kill me, that is my own problem. I shouldn’t be allowed to sue the makers of a drug that killed me as long as there is a clear warning. The label should say, Dude, don’t take this too much cause your eyes will fall out and your ears will bleed. Ok, but it does make me not scream in agony. Well, my choice is, no eyes and bloody ears and that is the choice I have to live with. Not the courts. Not the drug company. It is my fucking choice. Don’t attack the drugs, attack the system. Hey docs, stop pelting us with meds every time we come in the office. Use your education to perhaps come up with a better idea as to why we hurt instead of covering it up with meds. I would imagine our society as a whole would benefit from that. However, if meds are needed, even if they are controversial, they should be available.

Life is about risk. We drive our car to work. There is risk. We cross a street. There is risk. We eat a hamburger. There is risk. We read a book. There is risk! The risk is different in each scenario, but it is there. We can’t be reduced to a bubble. And we can’t blame folks that make risks as long as they tell us about the risk. When cigarettes came out, I don’t think they were as diligent then about telling us that they are horrid. Ok, yes, get mad at them back then, but for fuck sake, they have warnings, there are web sites, the whole world knows that smoking is bad. But people do it, because they want to and like to and well, have to. That isn’t Marlboro’s fault. That is your fault for putting that stick in your mouth. If you die, your fault. Not theirs.

I am venting, can you tell?

I am becoming more forgetful. It is bothering me a great deal.

I keep assuming I need to be somewhere when I get home. But this is one of those rare days in which truly, my evening is free. Sure, I have standard kid stuff to do and maybe a bit of clean up (part of why it would be good to go home early since I can either clean up then or relax as I will be cleaning later) but overall, easy night. I have steak to BBQ, and really I need to go to the store to get more bananas (boys ate them all) and corn to go with dinner.

I think it would be fun to take the boys and their big wheels down to the park and let them ride them there. Lots of open space and paths they can drive on. I may need to suggest that to my folks when I am there next.

So I am considering getting Bobby in AYSO next year. He would enjoy the play and how cute would he look in a little uniform?? It would cost $150 for the enrollment, plus I have to get him shoes and shin guards. I also have to factor in time. Usually a practice a week, and a game every weekend. But they are short games in the beginning. It will be good, too, since he will learn team work (he is good at it already, but still) and structure, which will help in school later. It is pricey, but if I save up, it would be fun. I don’t mind taking him to practice. Dax and I can hang out and watch. Maybe kick the ball around a bit on our own. Who knows, maybe he will want to play, too. He has another year to wait, though, since you can’t start till you are 4. There is a lot of volunteer work, too. Team mom, ref work, even snack bar duty. But that should be fine. My folks will probably go to most of his games, and they will watch Dax if need be for me to work the snack bar. I figure $200 is worth it!

I am also in the process of looking into cheap preschool, so Bobby is going to have a hell of a next year!

I wish I didn’t, but I want an iPhone. I am sure it would be fun, and pricey, and underused to some degree. They are just so pretty, and how lame of me to be so excited by them, but I guess you always want what you can’t have.

Am I still leaving at noon? I think so. It is now 11. I think I will stick around till 12:30 ish, then go.

My head really hurts. I took Tylenol (see, I was in pain and took drugs) and it hasn’t kicked in yet.

As much as I would like to go see dead Michael Jackson, I don’t want to stand in line for that long. I would imagine there is already a line. And it isn’t till Friday! There is some other place in I think Indiana that has said his body will be there on July 10th! Dude, world tour of the dead. What is up with that? Although if anyone could command the crowd, it is him. Can you have a dead body in a museum on permanent display? Like can they preserve him enough and just have him lying in some glass coffin in a Jackson museum? Or is that illegal? We have mummies and isn’t Stalin or someone like that in a museum? He probably looked ok. I mean, those last pics of him from I think just a day or two before he died he looked quite well. I wonder how many pictures will be out of him in the coffin. I bet a lot. Will they say no pictures? Will they still get taken? Will TMZ have all of them?

My coworker just showed me her ink. It looks awesome! I am so wanting a tattoo!