up

6-22-11




I am on an up swing day regarding Doug. After discovering that my aunt contacted Doug’s mom about Facebook, and yet he still was gone, I feel better that even with someone seeing the warning signs, it was too late to do much about it. Doug had decided to end his suffering, and even though it does leave some questions behind and lots of sadness, I cannot fault him for doing it on his own terms. Selfish, possibly, but I think I agree with Joey that there are no selfless acts. Not saying that all acts are selfish, by the way, but I think there is a certain joy and high one gets when they help someone, and even though their primary purpose is to give joy to someone, it doesn’t come with out some sort of reward.



I am not trying to be pessimistic, btw. I am simply saying don’t put too much stock in folks who seem to be better only because they give more of themselves.



Am I making sense? Who knows.



I want to gather some pictures together of what I have of Doug. I thought maybe I would make a collage of some sort to take on Saturday. I took a ton of pictures from my dad some time ago that are of Doug’s childhood. I figure those mixed in with what I have from the last couple of years would be fun. I am second guessing the word fun now.



I have to just really make it through today. Tomorrow is mostly a meeting in the morning, which I can go home right after. Ok, not home, but I am no longer at work. I am going to go help out at Bobby’s class for their end of year party at noon. Then I am not coming back until Monday. It will be a good few days off. Ok, yes, there is a memorial service in all of that, but you know, it will be therapeutic. Maybe some folks will tell stories and that will be cool to hear.



The boss has decided to make my life a living hell yet again today. He is requesting reports to be done practically daily, despite them not changing much from day to day. It is truly a wonder how he got the position he is in. Oh well.