So tired, must sleep

7-8-09

I should never be allowed to view a memorial in mixed company. Luckily, it was only Ken last night, so my super inappropriate jokes regarding the MJ memorial were appreciated.

First off, the coffin, which cost I believe something like $25K, looked like a giant chaffing dish. Of course, this made me think the entire time that they were not saying goodbye to an icon, they were saying goodbye to a pasta dish.

Second, in one of the video montages, there was an image of him on two magazine covers. On the Rolling Stone, he was as black as they come. Yet on Ebony, he was in his whitest incarnation. Something wrong with that.

I also want to give a shout out to Fox LA. I am sure some poor chap is out of a job this morning for the fuck up they did yesterday. Live coverage is tough, and they had their share of mistakes, mostly when they talked over speakers because there were so many delays and pauses, they were never sure when the show was going. But the last error was pretty strong. Luckily I was not watching it live, and had already heard the sound bite and watched the video, because had I not, I would have been pissed! Paris Jackson, after having been encouraged by Janet, stepped up to the mic and began to speak. She said the first sentence when Fox LA cut to a promo for one of their news programs. No joke. I have it on my Tivo still. The promo lasted all of maybe 15 seconds, but it was long enough that you did in fact miss the bulk of Paris’s speech. When it cut back, it was pretty much when she dove into Janet’s chest because of her tears. Good work, Fox!

I stayed up way to late watching the program. I had already listened to it on the radio, so it was handy since I was able to shorten the 3 hours to just about an hour, so not too bad. The problem, though, is that I was so tired already. So this morning I am dragging hard.

I did get to see a massive man hunt in Redondo. When we were heading over to my parent’s house, Dax spotted a helicopter, which turned out to be a police helicopter. Near the little store by my folk’s house, there was a ton of cops, complete with the cool jackets and a couple of K9 units. Apparently some robbery suspect was in the nursery field. I read in the paper this morning, that he got away.

This shouldn’t be buried so far down in my blog. My great grandmother died. She was in her 90’s, and my understanding was she was pretty bad off. I never spent a great deal of time with her. I know she had spunk. What I also know is that Grammie didn’t like her. None of her kids did. She wasn’t exactly a model mother. If I remember correctly, she was bitter at having the task of raising the kids while her husband was at work. Of course, this isn’t good for many reasons, but more importantly I am sure, is don’t be mean to the folks who will need to take care of you later. Grammie fought with her sibs on who really should do all the maintenance. Grammie ended up handling everything. My mom never visited her, and I am pretty sure her other grandchildren didn’t either. I think the last time I saw her was maybe the Thanksgiving before Robbie died? I think she was there. Either that, or it was at Granddaddy’s mini service. Either way, it has been a while. I am sad since it does mean that I won’t have a picture of 5 generations of women on my side. I had wanted a daughter (still do) and one of the perks was that I would get to have a pic with my great grandma, grandma, mom, me and my little girl. I offered to put Bobby in a dress, but I am pretty sure most folks don’t have my warped sense of humor.

I remember her at the Thanksgiving when I was pregnant with Bobby. She asked for her sweater 100 times despite already having it. It was apparent then that the dementia had been taking over.

I feel bad that I didn’t take the time to know her better. How often do you get a great grandmother? I know I took my grandparents for granted. I had two full sets of grandparents and a great grandma, yet I spent very little time with them. In all fairness, Ray and Virg were not in my life, but I could have called them. I could have tried. Now I am left with only two grandmothers.

Her service is in Tucson, which makes it pretty sure that no one will be going. She used to live there, and that is where her burial plot is. So for some reason they are having the service there. Look, I understand that it make sense to have the service close to where the body needs to go, but it seems like we should do something local. But once again, truly, not many people were close to her. To die like that seems so very sad to me. If it gets to a point where I am older than dirt, and no one is visiting me anymore and I just am in my room alone day after day, I am hoping that I don’t deal with that for too long.

I just did a net search on her name and came across some obituary for one of her great grandsons who died at the age of 18 in 2000. His grand parents I think are Gramie’s brother and sister in law. So I emailed the link to my dad to ask if I am somehow related to this dude. He emailed back that he would show mom, but was confused how I had that. He isn’t exactly warm and fuzzy when it comes to sensitivity with people who have died. He had a rough time with his brother, and to some degree his dad, but on both of those, he practically insisted that I didn’t go since I didn’t know them that well. He didn’t want me spending money to go back to PA for a funeral of someone that I didn’t know. I understood what he was trying to say, but it is still odd. He doesn’t think I should care about my great grandmother died (my mom is kind of the same way, but in all fairness, she didn’t like the woman, similar to how I don’t like Virg). He would find it odd if I cried or drove to Tucson for the service. I am not teary on this, nor am I driving to another state, but I think that it would be reasonable for me to be sad. I don’t think that my dad is an asshole for thinking this, I think he just hides his emotions better than most.

Mind you, also, my dad reiterated that when he dies that I can go ahead and burry him at sea. He told me to go ahead and flush him down the toilet. No joke.

It has been a head shaking day.

My hair is mad at me. I don’t know what is up. We don’t have conditioner, but I am pretty sure I used enough to make do. I may need to color it soon. Either way, I have had a series of bad hair days. I may need to come up with a new style again.

Seriously, is today over yet????????