6-30-10
One of these days I am going to come to work bright eyed and bushy tailed. It gets old feeling like I was up all night.
Yesterday I was unable to blog since I was doing month end reports at work. I like the reports since my day goes by quickly.
The only thing I had to say yesterday was regarding my frustration. I arrived home on Monday to find the casserole dish wish dishes in it that I had asked Ken to take care of. He had been home all day, aside from a small outing for some errands. When I walked in, he was playing video games with Bobby. Pissed is an understatement.
After last weeks big blow out of anger, I couldn’t believe that he still didn’t understand what I needed from him. This was a task he assured me would be done in the morning on Monday, and yet now it was 3 o’clock and it was not done. What made it even worse was that he was goofing off. It also didn’t sound like they had been exceptionally busy all day. Bobby called me at noon and told me that Ken was playing video games. I got on the phone with Ken and asked him if he had gone to collect from the Jewish Community Center (they owed for this last Lego session). He had not, so I told him to go. I had to even remind him to go get money!
Dishes and lack of motivation may seem petty in the grand scheme of things, but I am super tired of having to parent 3 kids. I couldn’t yell at him since Bobby was there. Plus, I didn’t know if yelling would even help. I had yelled, cried, bargained, pouted, guilted and done every other emotion under the sun to try and stress that I don’t ask for much.
In hind sight, I should have told Ken he couldn’t play anymore in front of Bobby. I should have told him that he needed to finish his chores, much in the same way I will scold the kids. Then again, I maintain I should not have to.
It sets a horrible example for the boys to see Daddy not pulling his weight. After I cleaned the house on Saturday, the boys both came out of their rooms, and without prompting told me how great the house looked and thanked me for cleaning. I would like it that they, along with their father, would take the same pride in house the house looks and that they don’t all just expect that messes they make will be taken care of Super Mom.
My next tactic, which has been met with some criticism from outside observation, is to create a chore chart. It will indicate which chores are to be done each day and by whom. Obviously the boys can’t do things like dishes, but I am considering having them switch off, every other night, and they can help Ken. This way they learn how to do it. Rooms will need to be kept clean. Desks will need to be kept clean. Sweeping, cat pans, and laundry will all be tasks. Cooking dinner and feeding the dogs will be tasks. Cleaning up the back yard for the gardeners and taking out the trash will be tasks. Making lunch for the boys for the next day and cleaning the bathroom will be tasks. Many of them will be my responsibility. Many will be Ken’s. The boys will have less, but they will also be expected to shadow us on some of our easier tasks. Don’t worry. I don’t intend on making it Fort Brenan. I just want some order. School will be starting in a couple months and we need to make sure we are in a routine. We also will have soccer soon, so there will be things like practice and games and we need to make sure the house is in order.
I hate that it has come to this, but I honestly am at a loss as to what to do. I can’t do it all. I know some people have to. I feel for you single moms out there. But I have a team, and I need to be able to pass the ball from time to time. I already take anti anxiety meds. I would like to not have to take a higher dose. Nor will I lower my expectations any more than I already have.
I am a damn good wife. I have supported my husband as he has been “starting” up his business for damn near 7 years now. I have at times stuck it out in a less than pleasant working environment only because I have a steady paycheck and health insurance that would not happen if I left. I have endured Lego in my house that doesn’t belong to my children and have to have a trailer taking up my driveway. All I now ask is for some help and some teamwork.
I am pleased that the garage is becoming functional again. This Saturday and probably Monday (4th of July is a busy day) we will be able to get it even more so. It does mean that Ken’s work will be in there instead of my entry way. This will go a long way in decreasing my stress levels. Ken also has been working towards my stress since my meltdown. Monday was one of those minor setbacks to success.
I know it will all be ok. I just needed to vent right now to explain why it upsets me. It doesn’t mean that I am not going to get annoyed at things in the future. It does mean that I know that he isn’t doing it to piss me off. It is just all about redirecting priorities and being organized. And as much as I don’t want to have to tell him what to do, I may have to overly tell him at first in order to pound it into his head.
I have no idea what I will do if he still doesn’t adhere to my tasks. I think that is what makes it really frustrating. I mean, if they boys don’t get dressed by a certain time, I can take away a friend or something. Does that mean I will have to start taking away Lego?
Is it a bad sign when the AYSO region Bobby signed up for has not renewed their domain name yet, so their site is down?
I was starting to think that it is possible that we will not be able to go to Vegas in August for the wedding since Bobby’s soccer may have started by then.
I have been given the green light on operation paint the hall. I am still leaning towards a pale yellow for the walls, and I was looking at paint colors online and I kind of like this muted plum color for the trim. I realize one of my favorite things in the hallway, my prison mirror, will have to match, so I need to take a picture of it before I head down to Lowe’s. I am sure I will need to pick up several paint color cards and bring them all home to hold them up against it. I am also planning on taking down all the pictures in there and redoing them. Not all of them will make the cut to be up again. And all of them will eventually get new frames. Quite the project!
I also need to pull out my scanner. I would like that to be my other big time project again.
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