My eyes won't stay open

6-14-10

This morning starts my attempt to stop being a fat ass.

My breakfast this morning was a Carnation Instant breakfast. I know, probably not the best, but it was quick and low calorie. I also enjoy them, so it was good. I have my pack of gum and gobs of water to keep me set until snack. I have some wheat thins, which will satisfy a salt craving and they are crunchy and filling.

Lunch is some left over spaghetti. Dinner, I think I will make some chicken. Either way, I plan on not eating as large of a helping.

When I get home from work, Luna and I are going to walk my old walking route. It is maybe a 20 minute hike. I don’t want to start too crazy, so this is a nice way to ease into this again. The walk with Luna will kill two birds by getting me some exercise, and getting out some puppy energy.

I think I will be ok this first day. Keeping from going crazy on anything will take some will power, but the sound of Bobby’s voice now is imbedded in my brain. On Friday, he asked me why I was fat. It was pretty heartbreaking for me.

My birthday was mostly uneventful. We went to my folks’ house for normal play time. After that, we headed over to get some critter chow and then to the mall to pick up our gift cards that they keep insisting on giving us. Now Ken is on the same mailing list, so not only did I get one $10 card, Ken got one too!

At the mall, we had some dinner and we browsed some stores. I was hoping to find some cool clearance item at either Torrid or Hot Topic. Not so much. We bailed on the mall and headed over to Target so I could spend my gift card that Matt gave me.

Even though yes, I am on the road to fat ass recovery, I am pleased to report that Target seems to have embraced a good chunk of their clientele and have added a new line of plus size clothing to their inventory. I found an extremely cute skirt and top, both of which not only fit comfortably, but the skirt on the largest size may even be a little big on me! They have always had a pretty good assortment, but it was nice to see so many more options.

I was pretty bummed that the one day I decided to break down and buy the big floppy hat I had fallen in love with last year was not in stock. I am starting to wonder if it is not meant to be.

We headed home and all I really wanted was some sleep. I was so exhausted. Ken gave me a wonderful backrub which made crawling into bed happy making. Now if only I could explain to the other residents of our house that I needed some extra sleep.

The last few nights, Monarch and IO have been fighting over who gets to sleep in my space on the bed. It is crazy! Not only do they steal covers, but they sit right in the middle of my legs to the point where it is hard to move for me. It is super annoying. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Luna was annoyed that it was now 6:30, and I had yet to let her out. I finally got up and let her out, but it isn’t like I can just leave her out there. Not only does she feel the need to bark at shadows of birds, she doesn’t quite know how to deal with the pool yet when unsupervised. She has already managed to chew up one section of the pool cover and kill the dragon. So I end up having to sit there and wait for her to be done drinking the 7 gallons she consumes when she first goes outside, and then wait for her to pee and poo and be done chasing bugs. I put her back inside and then crawled back into bed, only to be mobbed by Monarch with his neediness. He tends to get like this after I spend some time with Luna. So even though the small people and husband were dead asleep, which would normally be a green light for sleeping in, I was up.

I dinked around online and ate some breakfast while waiting for the rest of the house to wake up. I was jealous looking at the monitor, seeing Dax passed out in such a way that if I didn’t know any better I would have thought he had been shot.

Bobby got up and I gently reminded him that he forgot to get dressed, so he ran back to his room to do so. Dax and Ken got up soon after, both of them looking groggy and slightly grumpy.

Out plans for the day included going to lunch with my parents, Matt, Dough and Elizabeth. After this, we would do cake at my parents’ house. I would leave the children with them and Ken and I would meet up with Doug and Elizabeth later for some kind of comedy show. Good plans!

We went to Cozymels for lunch. Yummy! What was cool is we were the first ones there. We also had some coupons which included a free appetizer and one that had 4 free margaritas! I had two of the margaritas. Mmmm! Then, the manager, who was training a new bartender and server, gave us another free margarita since the bartender screwed up on it. Woo hoo!

Recently the restaurant added these little touch screens to their tables which include the ability to order and pay for your meals. They also have a couple of games on them, which was awesome for the boys. Both of them got a screen and proceeded to play this one game over and over the whole time. It was perfect for them since then they were not bored. They did, however, require my attention a good chunk of the time since both of them wanted me to look at their progress every 2 seconds. I didn’t hear most of the conversation between the table since I was constantly distracted by their needs. Plus, I was at the far end of the table, which meant I could not hear anyone. I participated as best I could, but I felt like a bad guest of honor.

All of the servers were watching World Cup in the bar and US scored. It was total excitement! One waiter accidently cheered in my ear since he was walking past when it happened. I didn’t mind one bit, but he felt so bad! It was cute, actually. I liked seeing them all so jazzed about something.

After lunch, we headed to Bowlby land and had some cake. Mmmm….Baskin Robbins ice cream cake. YUM!

Doug and Elizabeth headed home and we all walked to the park so the boys could play. I am amused at how many parents are as bad as me, all swarming around their children on the monkey bars making sure no one falls. It made me realize that perhaps I do get a little too helicopter on them.

We left the boys at the park with Grandma and Poppy and headed home to get ready for the show. We did stop at the beauty supply place to get some hair color for me. I had enough time that I could do my hair before we met up with them later. For the record, second time using the non boxed color, and still quite pleased.

Since the place we were going was near our old stomping ground of the original Earthlink building, Ken asked if we could have dinner at Eats which is part of the golf course next to the office buildings. I had never actually eaten there, despite working walking distance from the place, so I was ok with it. Unfortunately, their kitchen was mostly closed since we got there 10 minutes before closing time. Luckily they did still have the ability to make sandwiches, which turned out to be pretty good.

We managed to find the place with only a little bit of lost time. We got there early enough that we got spectacular parking right in front. Woo hoo! Our names were on the will call list so we checked in and got our drink chips and hung out waiting for things to get going.

The venue was an old mechanics shop. It had been converted into a theatre. We were out in the “courtyard” which was really the area on the outside of the rolling doors where cars used to drive in for work to be done. The bar was just behind the doors.

Once the bar was open, we got a couple of drinks. It was clear that these were not bartenders. In reality, most of the people “working” the event all seemed like theatre members and were all just helping out since this was a fundraiser. The funny lady who got us our drinks was awesome. Not only were they super strong, she gave me the Buddha charm from the freshly opened bottle of Pyrat Rum. I had not tried this particular rum before, but I can safely say I am now a fan.

Doug and Elizabeth showed up and we hung out with them and browsed the free food, which included pizza, tacos from Acupulco and gobs of sweets. We munched on some of it and had a couple more drinks. I had a minor buzz, but it was good.

Ken managed to contain himself for about 45 minutes before he started to work for them. He went up to the entrance to check on things like getting a good seat and to see what time the doors open. Next thing I know, I hear his booming voice over the crowd as my phone buzzed. I looked at the text and saw, “I have to”. Sigh. I know that a lot of the time this works out well for me since he gets us good seats and whatnot, but it would be nice if one time we are out that he is just content enough to hang out with me and not feel the need to correct how people run their business. I feel like I am not interesting enough to keep his attention.

Ken did get us seats right up front, which was cool since Joel Mchale was only a couple feet from me. He was funny and talked up the main act quite a bit since he knew the guy from some play they did. He called him a genius, so we expected greatness. Joel may have been a little, well, let’s just say Joel was being very generous.

So this guy comes out. His pants have been hemmed to I guess accommodate some light flooding. He had the expression that indicated he wasn’t all there. He came out timid, which seemed to be in character. He didn’t speak much. He then got into what seemed like a newer ended series of 2 and 3 minute skits that was mostly mime work. His name, Casey Smith of Violators will be Violated. The skits had no joke, 18 that had him killing himself or dying. There were 9 instances of simulated sex. Don’t even get me on the poo jokes. Although probably the funniest part did include poo humor. He pretended to poo into a jar and then proceeded to dump it on a member of the audience, who screamed as though she had actually had feces dumped on her. Her screaming was funny to me.

It was crude, obnoxious and disgusting at times. I did laugh, but not as much as I think I was supposed to, nor as much as the audience did. To some degree, we just didn’t know what to make of it. Elizabeth knew someone who was part of the theatre group who put on the show. This was a fundraiser that was designed to raise money for this dude to go New York to have this routine in a comedy show.

Smith was incredibly animated, which was cool, but it made me worry since he was sweating profusely. It was actually to the point where I wanted to see him chug a gallon water just so I would be sure that he wouldn’t pass out from dehydration.

After the show, we bee lined for the back area to see about procuring a photo of myself and Joel. We stalked him for a while, and even though we were kind of asked to go over next door to where they were dancing to DJ music, we held our ground waiting for him to emerge from the restroom.

Ken introduced Joel to me and we asked if he would let us get a picture with him. He looked kind of freaked out, and said it was $15. I was a little annoyed at this, but also wasn’t sure if he was kidding. Ken asked me if I wanted to do this, so I agreed, when Joel said he was kidding and was shocked we would have paid for this picture.

He asked me what show I watched. I know, I screwed up and told him The Soup and not both that and Community. But I didn’t want to lie to him. He gave me some light shit for that but allowed the picture to happen. I have to admit I was a little disenchanted by him after this meeting. Of course, it was a strange setting to stalk him in. He was there for someone else’s show, he was backstage and yet we still bothered him. He could have told us to fuck off, but instead he was nice enough to allow a quick pic to happen. I guess I will just be content with that.

We didn’t stay too much later than that. We talked for a bit and then Ken and I headed out. It was late and we still had to get up early for bowling and child retrieval. We got home around 11:30 and I think I was dead asleep by midnight.

A guy at the bowling alley got a 300 game by us. That was shockingly exciting to watch. You could hear the hush of the spectators with each roll. My dad pointed out that it was a shame for him to get it just during practice bowling and not league, but I still think that it doesn’t matter when you get it, I would take it whenever!

Sunday was good. We played in the pool much of the day and hung laundry out to dry. Our dryer broke a couple weeks ago, so we have been drying things old school. Not a bad thing since it doesn’t cost to do this. We are planning on seeing what part is needed soon and will either pick it up and fix it ourselves, or scour Craiglist for another one. They seem to only run about $75, so not too bad!

My week is going to be busy without really going anywhere. I need to make my house good since I will have company on Sunday for Dad’s day. The folks are coming over, along with possibly Doug and Elizabeth for BBQ and the boys playing in the pool. Saturday is kind of busy with a lunch date for Matt’s birthday which is today. So with my exercise program and a nice break tomorrow from work for a possible good Dax thing, I have lots to work on.

I am telling you right now, if I don’t figure out a way to wake up, I am screwed. I honestly can barely keep my eyes open. I actually just closed my eyes and about fell on my keyboard. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I don’t feel fatigued in my body. It seems to be all in my head. My eyes are heavy and I feel warm. Almost sweating a bit from how warm I feel. I am in a tank top! I am doing everything just short of splashing water on my face to stay up. I am shaking my legs, I keep standing up, and nothing seems to help. I am thinking I may go sit in the restroom for a while and nap.

No amount of napping is going to help here. I need to do it at home. I am hoping I can make it till going home. Maybe my body is just nervous about this whole diet thing and it is closing up shop and not allowing anything to work. My arms hurt, too, which I think is a result of swimming, carrying a dog and throwing Luna’s heavy toy. So my lack of physical strength is making this worse. So sleepy!!!!!

Ok, interesting theory. I normally have a soda in the morning. I did not have one today since I am trying to cut back on unnecessary calories. Drowsiness is a symptom of caffeine withdrawals. So is soreness in the upper part of my body. It is certainly possible this is what is causing the issue. I am considering having a soda to see if this is the issue.

I am tracking everything I eat on my app for Lose It on iTty. I have a goal listed of losing 2 pounds a week to get down to 140 pounds. I obviously have a ways to go, but I don’t want to go crazy. I figure if I log my foods, at least then I can see what I have consumed. It tracks my calories, too, which tells me if I want this goal to happen, I can only have 1800 a day. I think that is doable. It will be hard, and I am not going to freak out if I go over every now and again. I have had 443 today so far. That seems like a lot, but this is breakfast and a snack and a soda, all in 5 hours. I just entered my lunch and it looks like I have 600 calories to work with for this afternoon. I am rounding up a bit for my lunch calories. It has listing of tons of foods and it has the calories listed for them based on serving. So I am not sure what home cooked spaghetti would be. Sure, it tells me, but I don’t think that is enough calories, so I am adding some to the mix. 600 seems more than reasonable for dinner. When I was losing weight, I was keeping myself on 300 to 350 calorie meals, so I think I can do it. Wish me luck!!!

Ok, I woke up a bit. Not sure if it was soda involved or just me getting off my ass. Either way, I feel a little better, just a little hot still. It is warm in this office. Bleah. I think I have a meeting in a bit and I am hoping for some lunch soon. Then the rest of the day is down hill.

My meeting with Dax and the school tomorrow is only supposed to take 10 minutes. Hmm..that hardly seems worth taking off the whole day. Than again, I have gobs of stuff to work on, so maybe it is a good thing. We will see. At the very least, I do want to walk there just as more exercise. So we will see.

I really hope Luna behaves on our walk. I think these walks will do her some good. She has so much energy. It is the breed and the pup, but either way, she will like it. We play with her out back and stuff, but an actual walk is different. I was thinking about it on how Lycos was never this wild as a pup, but then again, she and I went on walks every day since it was just her and I what with Ken up north for work. So I think I helped her get out puppy energy with those walks. Plus, I think the training will help her in her own training.

I hate this. If we have this meeting, it is in like 2 minutes. In 2 minutes, I tend to heat up my food. I don’t want to heat up my food before I know what the plan is, but with my boss, he might come and get us in a bit. Grr..

If it is soda related, then I am screwed. I am tired again, which says either it is not soda related, or that I need more than I realized to function.