Sappy and Sentimental-sorry!

3-6-09

Good morning!!!

Yesterday was a good afternoon. I was a little worried considering the work afternoon. But I got home, got in my comfy Joe Boxers pants and sat down to watch some more of my movie. Crying, of course, but I have determined it isn’t a great movie. Don’t get me wrong, the stuff with the two main characters is great. But the sub stories are weak and rushed. It is a little frustrating, really. But I am still enjoying it and at the same time trying to figure out how I can get by for 6 months without Ken. I so need to send him to Ireland for that amount of time so he can pick up that accent. Holy fuck that is sexy. It may actually beat the English accent I have been so fond of for so long. In this movie, there are 2 men that are Irish, kind of dirty, not traditionally handsome I would say, almost rugged, that are just freaking drop dead gorgeous. Yum! But I think it is their accent and just things like how they call a woman love and stuff like that. I repeat, yum!!

The boys played outside while I made dinner. Yay for screen doors!! Yay for my kids being old enough to play outside without my 100% supervision. Don’t get me wrong, I checked in on them a lot, but it was nice that I didn’t have to stay next to them.

Bobby decided he “wasn’t hungry” so he didn’t eat. Dax had some, but not much. They were both wild. So I opted to give them a bubble bath. I was a little worried since the last time we tried bubble bath they didn’t like it. The bubbles were threatening or something. Bobby practically dove in this time. Dax was a little tentative, but once he figured out how much fun they were, he was having a blast. Yay me!!

I had told Bobby that the only dinner he would get was his bowl of spaghetti that he had refused to eat. No milk, no bread, nothing until he ate some of that. Well, after bath and during the last show of the night, he opted to push Dax, which resulted in him being sent straight to bed (he had already lost story and game from prior offensives). He was miserable. He wanted to watch tv, he was hungry, and just all out of sorts now. I read to Dax (who is loving his new books and pretty much passed out after) and then headed out to tag in with Bobby.

Ken had told him that he had to have to bites of spaghetti in order to have anything else. Ken left so I talked to my distraught little boy. After calming him down, we headed out to the kitchen and not only did I get the kid to eat two bites, I got him to eat the whole bowl!! It was awesome! Got him some bread, got him some milk, and he fell asleep pretty hard. Although, this was not before Ken went in and said good night and says to him, “I heard you ate all your dinner.” To which Bobby was pretty concerned about where he heard this information. LOL!

I decided to break out the rose ménage since I didn’t want to waste my last red. It wasn’t as good as the red, but it was good for a nice buzz. I polished off the whole bottle, which was just the right amount of warm and fuzzy. It was nice to feel so relaxed. I hadn’t done that in some time. I probably should try to relax more often. Not always with booze, but you know what I mean.

I did get to watch Ryan Seacrest leave the poor blind guy behind. We watched the end of American Idol and he calls down the top 13, which included the blind guy. So they all crowd the stage, hugging one another, and you see blind guy, up in his seat since he can’t exactly rush down to the stage. Someone from back stage finally ran out to get him. It was so bad, yet so funny!

I actually think I slept pretty well. I know I was cold at some point, and Ken snored at another point, but it was fine. Bobby must have gotten up later than normal since Ken was still tending to him when the alarm went off. I was so confused.

The good news is I feel pretty rested, so it means movie night won’t kill me. I swear, I get so freaking sleepy, even when it is a show I enjoy. Well, our selection for this weekend is Hancock and Superbad. Not sure what we are watching tonight. I think Hancock. Ken didn’t seem as on board with the Superbad.

I have my workout this afternoon. Ken may start doing it on Fridays since he is coming with me lately. He doesn’t have an afternoon class, so he gets home when I do. It is nice since we go as a family, and if we are going anywhere after, we are all there. So he thought maybe he would set up a profile and try a few exercises.

Dude! Today on KROQ-Gwen! Monday-Dave Gahan! YAY!

The boss is out today, which made my day. I am concerned today about my paycheck. I think they stopped direct deposit due to our account changing from the breakin. I just hope they actually did stop the deposit. Of course, I don’t know if the money will go in if they did deposit it, or if I get a live check. Very annoying. I won’t know for a couple hours. I may have Ken check the account this morning since he can see if it went through last night. If it did, no problem. If it didn’t, and then I don’t get a check, then we cross that bridge.

My nails look pretty good. I am all pleased. I am working on not picking on my fingers. I brought all my good lotion to work so when I get tempted to pick, I add more lotion. It seems to be a good combo of actions. I also have been using my emery board to keep down stray pickings so that I don’t make it worse. I can’t believe how hard it is, though. I used to chew my nails when I was a kid, and I broke that habit once I got fake nails. Then I stopped the fake nails and did the whole fancy pants polish that was to make my nails strong. It did, but the effort was too much. Plus, I got pregnant, and it wasn’t good for pregnant folks, so I stopped everything. Luckily, my nails are pretty strong when they do grow, but it is my lack of diligence that keeps them looking ragged at times. Plus, I don’t know what it is, but I seem to get so much freaking dirt under my nails. I don’t know what it is. I know it is annoying.

I have to think of a good wikipedia topic search. I may do Arrested Development folks. It could get me on a good path to find other folks. Or maybe the Frat Pack. Hmm..

Ok, I just read all that. Now I am bored again. LOL! I didn’t do Arrested Development. I ended up doing Frat Pack. I guess I can go back.

Wind of Change is on. Greg had me sing this once and he recorded it. He gave me the lyrics, put on the headphones on my head so I could sing along to the song, and he made a recording of just my voice singing. It is so strange to think of this aspect of him. He always did say I had a good voice, which is funny. There wasn’t a lot of constant compliments coming from him, but this was one. He really liked my singing voice. He also really dug my hair. Listening to this song does take me back quite a bit. Not in a bad or good way. It is just taking me there. I really love this song, and it makes me happy to think of the old memories that were good with Greg. It is nice to not have hate for him.

Thank you Jack FM, who now goes to a bad Cheryl Crow song. Although, I do have memories that pop up from a couple of Cheryl Crow songs. I know, how odd is that? I guess all songs have that power. What is freaky when I flashback, though, is that it takes a bit to shake it. It is almost like I do this Quantum Leap thing. Or even like JD in Scrubs, except the scene is a real one not just made up. I am there for a moment, and it is a jolt when I come back. Like Hotel California is on now. For some reason this takes me back to Blockbuster days. Not as much as some songs. Holy crap, Rocket Man by Elton John? That leaves me running tapes for an hour.

Sometimes even weather kicks me back. Smells make sense, but weather? Certain seasons or even just a drive can set me off. I was driving to meet up with Bobby and Ken on Bobby’s birthday and just driving around at noon in Manhattan Beach on a beautiful day just made me think of when I would ditch. I actually wondered if a cop would pull me over, when it dawned on me that I am 33 years old. I think it was triggered since I was going to meet Ken, and it was a specific memory of me going to the Westchester House when he was there. He was in the process of moving into the house, and he needed to get his phone set up. So I was actually with him at his parent’s house while he was picking out the perfect phone number. He was sitting in his kitchen, facing the back yard over this bar in there, and I was at the table. I was not at that house all that often. Maybe a dozen times total, but that vision is crazy clear to me. I remember thinking how charming and cute he was, but I also wonder if those memories are enhanced right now since I think that he is those things now? I don’t know. I wish I did. I suppose I can’t get too upset. First off, my memory is pretty good in general, and second, it isn’t like Ken remembers ANY of this. But who would??? Setting up a phone line? Like this is interesting? Sure, my day revolved around it, and I also ended up getting caught ditching that day. Never do laundry when you have ditched classes.

I think I am in flashback mode extreme. 80’s songs will do that to you. Plus, I just chatted with Angela this week, and that is just one of those happy takes me back to being idiots. I don’t think as grownups we are idiots enough of the time. I think in my 20’s I was trying too hard to be something I wasn’t and it just wasn’t as much fun. I knew I was in charge in a lot of ways in high school, but I didn’t realize how much of a bitch I was. So I tried to be less bitchy. Which really, wasn’t fair to myself, since I am bitchy! I think I was more bitchy in things like school and work, which of course did have some problems, but it was better to mellow a smidge than to cut it out all together.

Who knows, perhaps I was just as bitchy through my 20’s and I am just delusional. I know I had my moments.

I feel bad when I say I had the most fun in those couple of years in my teens. I don’t think I had the MOST fun, but I did have a lot of fun. I have easily had even more fun since that time. But just like the thrill of courtship and first kisses, that is I think how I feel about high school. I was just meeting and getting to know folks I was going to hopefully have in my life forever. It was all new and exciting. The responsibility of a real friendship was not in play yet. The next phase, your twenties are more like those difficult years of the relationship. The honeymoon is over, and you have to figure out how to make things work. Sometimes it doesn’t. So those friendships end. Sometimes they work well, and those become bigger and better. Sometimes they are just hard to know what to with, and you go back and forth, and although there are some fantastic highs, there are some bad lows. When you hit your thirties, it is now a point in which you reflect on all of this, and you come out of it a better person. I think that is why Facebook has been so much fun. I am in touch with all of the people that I was in touch with in high school. I think that there is really only maybe 2 or 3 people missing. Plus, I am talking to folks I didn’t even know that well, but should have. So now, I am in the solid happy stage of the marriage. I think that is why Angela and I are ok now. We went through the hell, and knew that we were meant to be together forever. If you can hold on to the initial bond of friendship, even if only by a thread, you know that something is always salvageable. It may not be like it used to be, and it won’t stay the way it is now. It is evolving, as relationships are supposed to. Interests will change, philosophies and lifestyles. It is all part of the growing up thing. I think friendship, though, is more than these things. It is some kind of strange bond that connects you. For instance, I get frustrated with Conner from time to time. Everything from him wanting me to untag photos of him to just the general lack of communication. Of course, that last part is my fault too. But either way, when I do end up talking to him again, it is like all of that melts away. We are once again those two teens talking on the phone for 8 hours in the summer. I can’t explain it. But that is the bond that is what makes me know he will be in my life forever. It is the bond that makes it impossible for me to be without Brandy in my life. It is the bond that makes me cry when Angela is hurt. It is the bond that makes me want all the dirty details about Jenni’s date. I am being sappy and sentimental, I know, but I am just writing to the songs coming out of my radio this morning. I can’t help it. It is compelling me to do it.

Recently, I also came to the realization that I needed to tell people that I love that I love them more often. I don’t know why. I guess it is just one of those things that I think I took for granted. It doesn’t have to be a grand and formal admission to my affection. Just enough that I know that people that I do love know my feelings. I think it is crucial, not just for my own sanity, but for my kids. They should see that this is a good thing. I love that Bobby now tells me he loves me pretty much whenever he leaves a room, and often accompanies it with the sign language for I Love You. This was something my mother and I came up with when I was a kid. We used the sign language for that all the time. In fact, I couldn’t start a soccer game without them showing me the sign, and me doing it back. It was just something that was important. I am enjoying showing this to my kids, too, so that they can always know that I love them, and in turn, I know they love me. It isn’t much, but wow, it speaks volumes.

Wow, I am rambling. What did that wine have in it last night??? It must have residual effects of the sap factor.

I wonder if Ken took Bobby today. I have not talked to him yet, so I don’t know what his schedule is. You would think that I would remember, but honestly, I stopped trying. The classes all blend together for me for some reason. Plus, when I finally remember all the schools and times, the session is over, and a new schedule is in effect.

Ok, the Pink Floyd playing no longer makes me think of that guy Brad and his creepy invite!! YAY! It does make me think of Bob Geldof, which does make me a little annoyed, but that is reasonable compared to complete disgust. And seriously, how cute are little british kids when they sing? Way! Hey, teacher, leave us kids alone!! LOL!! Like that would ever work.

I feel like some kind of odd DJ. Now they are playing Yaz. So awesome. There are a few bands that can make me smile pretty consistently. Yaz would be one. Obviously Erasure, George Michael, Abba, most old school Depeche Mode. There are songs, too, that are always happy making. But right now, I am really craving some Bobby Vee lately. Can you crave music? I don’t think I have any on my computer or on Ichipod. Grrr.

Ok, we have a song that makes me think of Scrubs. Everybody’s Working for the Weekend. All I see is The Todd dancing, then I go into Turk doing Poison. Awesome.

I wonder how much a ½ inch by ½ red heart would cost to get a tattoo of.

Is it just me, or is tattooing “shhhh” on your finger just completely retarded? Lily Allen and Linsey Lohan did it, and I think it looks so stupid! Not even a , oh, that is kind of cute but I would never do it reaction. It is just straight up lame.

Apparently Ken is calling me at 10:40 and it is now 10:24. So I guess I am going to do some work? LOL!! Not likely today. Sure, I have some things that can be done, but really, my job lately has been beating dead horses. It is Friday. I should be allowed to be equine free.

Now Jack has gone to dumb songs. Memory lane has been closed for repairs.

Bobby went to work with Ken. Which is good, since it means more exposure to school stuff. We need to get to work on getting him not only in preschool, but figure out the logistics of kindergarten. I seem to recall that he can’t start until 2010, but now I wonder since we have this one list of things that the kid has to know for starting real school.

Kindergarten Readiness Checklist
by Peggy Gisler, Ed.S. and Marge Eberts, Ed.S.
While there's no perfect formula that determines when children are truly ready for kindergarten, you can use this checklist to see how well your child is doing in acquiring the skills found on most kindergarten checklists.
Check the skills your child has mastered. Then recheck every month to see what additional skills your child can accomplish easily.
Young children change so fast -- if they can't do something this week, they may be able to do it a few weeks later.
· Listen to stories without interrupting
· Recognize rhyming sounds
· Pay attention for short periods of time to adult-directed tasks
· Understand actions have both causes and effects
· Show understanding of general times of day
· Cut with scissors
· Trace basic shapes
· Begin to share with others
· Start to follow rules
· Be able to recognize authority
· Manage bathroom needs
· Button shirts, pants, coats, and zip up zippers
· Begin to control oneself
· Separate from parents without being upset
· Speak understandably
· Talk in complete sentences of five to six words
· Look at pictures and then tell stories
· Identify rhyming words
· Identify the beginning sound of some words
· Identify some alphabet letters
· Recognize some common sight words like "stop"
· Sort similar objects by color, size, and shape
· Recognize groups of one, two, three, four, and five objects
· Count to ten
· Bounce a ball
If your child has acquired most of the skills on this checklist and will be at least four years old at the start of the summer before he or she starts kindergarten, he or she is probably ready for kindergarten. What teachers want to see on the first day of school are children who are healthy, mature, capable, and eager to learn.


As you see, it says if he is 4 by the summer, and he knows most of this, he is ready for kindergarten. But I don’t think he can start this September. I am so confused now. So I am going to be looking up info at lunch. Plus, Ken is asking his kinder class parents today to see if he can find out some info. I need to look up ideal districts, and be realistic that he may need to have stuff for the school down the street. So much to do!!!!

I love that I have Bobby hooked on the greatness that is Bohemian Rhapsody.

My radio has issues with the sound. It is really funny to only hear certain parts of the song. Apparently some of the parts are recorded in different frequencies or something, and my radio sometimes doesn’t get those. LOL!