The Bear is concerned

3-23-16

Frustration and concern flood my mind this morning.

I will start with the tale of Bomb Boy. This is a kid who goes to the school and has been a subject of previous situations that have resulted in a talk with our principal. However, this was a year ago, and although his claims of having a bomb in his backpack were clearly just to brag about a WWII relic that he might have seen once and wanted others to believe he had it on him.

In the past 2 months, BB has been a thorn in my side. He often walks home with the boys along with a couple other friends of Dax’s. They all live in the trailer park across the way so in many ways, this grouping of kids walking home makes total sense.

There were a couple of minor incidents in which the boys indicated BB was mean to them or did things he shouldn’t be doing. I would always listen, making sure it didn’t sound too serious and advise them to not walk with this boy.  Bobby is always more cautious of this kid, but even with this caution, they still would end up walking home again with him the next day, coming in the door and informing me that nothing bad happened. I hoped it just meant they were clearly just boys messing around and playground politics were in play here.

Then came the first major incident.

They both ran into the house, flustered and clearly spilling over with information. Bobby started to tell me about BB having chased them when I was interrupted by a knock at the door. A neighbor was telling me that my kids had just been with a group of kids who had beat up BB. He said he saw BB on the ground and that all the other kids ran away from him, just leaving him there. It was patchy information, but I was pleased the neighbor stopped to tell me what he saw. He was very nice about it, too.

I then got some more information from the boys. From Bobby’s story, it sounded as if a few of the kids had picked up the rolled up Easy Readers on the driveways while walking. It was a slightly larger group than normal. There was playful banter and wacking of each other with the rolled up papers. The problem was, BB didn’t take it as such.

BB started hitting with his rolled up paper, but he wasn’t being nearly as kind with each hit. He was hitting people hard, which then ended up causing issues. There were multiple points of view but it sounds as though BB did chase Bobby with his paper causing him to run into the street for a period of time because he was trying to get away. Whether this was inspired by Bobby running away or not, there was a tackle made by one of the other kids, leaving BB on a lawn where they were walking past. Bobby said BB acted hurt when he said he really wasn’t. All of the kids left him there, mostly running away trying to get away from the kid who was causing problems. Not sure how many of them were thinking it was funny, but I know mine did not think it was a good thing. It was when this kid was on the lawn that the Good Samaritan neighbor stopped to check on BB.

 We took this information to the principal the next day. In hindsight, both she and I agree I should have emailed her, but she was incredibly kind and wonderful about all of this. It wasn’t the first time she had dealt with an incident with this kid. We didn’t know about the tackle until after she met with all of the students involved. Bobby had not seen the tackle, too busy running into the street. The principal was incredibly funny about that, telling Bobby that car plus Bobby equals car. She understood why he was running, but wanted him to be safe. Her advice was the same as ours which was to avoid this kid.

Sadly, my children have not heeded this advice. They continue to walk with this kid. I told them both that they should just hang back when they see BB and walk home after he has left. However, I have even seen this first hand, BB waits for them both. He is almost crazy stalker-esc when it comes to Bobby in particular. Dax also really is enjoying having two of his buddies walking with him home, which will be important come next year, and since they are friends with BB, he puts up with BB. Each day has been a wondering if BB was being a brat or not. I even told Bobby that if he needs me to pick them up he can call me with a code. He can call from the office and say that he wants to go get tamales. He loved this. He did call me once to pick them up to avoid him, but no code, which was a bit of a bummer.

Yesterday I got a call much later than I normally would. I drove up, passing BB and the other boys and it looked to me as if this may be a reason for the call, but I wasn’t sure. It was just mom instinct I guess. It wasn’t too far off, either. They had started walking towards home when I picked them up. Dax looked like he had been crying. This couldn’t be good.

Dax informs me that BB kicked him. He went to kick him in his tenders, but missed and hit Dax’s leg instead. Dax said he was playfully kicking back and forth with him, so who knows what really took place. That play keeps being the issue. Apparently a parent did yell at BB telling him to never do that again and if she ever saw it she would let the principal know. They were still near the school at the time. This time, I told them it was now not just a recommendation. They were not to walk home with him ever.

We drove past BB and I said something to him. I told him to stay away from my kids. He didn’t say anything, and he saw who I was. I know, I probably should not have said anything at all. It seems pretty lame now, too. That being said, I wanted him to know that I would need to contact his parents if I saw him around the boys again. I am done with this, and dammit, I know it may be me overreacting, but I don’t need them near a kid like this.

I half expected his parent to show up at the house last night, but I am betting he didn’t tell them anything. He most likely has gotten in so much trouble over the school year, it wouldn’t be a good thing for him to bring attention to yet another incident.

I recognize my own children’s responsibility here, too. If they antagonize a kid like that, it will result in a situation. Not saying that BB’s reactions are appropriate, but it doesn’t make it entirely shocking. I know that ultimately the boys are going to have to deal with this sort of behavior from kids. You may have sensitive folks or quick to anger ones and they need to be aware of it. In addition to that, they need to take steps to avoid them if they don’t think they can handle a possible outcome like this.

Needless to say this has put me in a bit of a mom tizzy. I don’t like that they are having to deal with this, but even more so, I don’t like that I probably shouldn’t get too involved, despite what I have already done.

Aside from BB, though, my concern lies with Dax’s arm. I know I had been trying to not panic when it comes to the lack of mobility he still has with it. The doctor never seemed concerned with his numbness, nor was he worried that he couldn’t move his wrist much. It sounded to us as though it was all part of the healing process and that having trauma so close to nerves and tendons could have been extensive enough to make some of his rehabilitation a little slower than a standard break. Plus, I know that I have a tendency to overreact to even a papercut on the boys. I let the doctor dictate my attitude towards all of this.

Ken had Andy Facetime with him and Dax last night to show the range of motion he is dealing with. Since Andy is a physical therapist, he is truly a good person to consult on this. I listened and became increasingly worried when Andy told us we should probably contact the doctor and see about a follow up with a PT to verify there wasn’t other issues. He mentioned palsy in his wrist, which would have been caused by the injury. Andy didn’t sound panicked, but more cautious, wanting us to just make sure it isn’t anything.

I worry greatly. It all sounds mostly treatable, but it doesn’t make me warm and fuzzy. I just looked it up, and it sounds pretty normal for his kind of break, but treatment can take up to 12 weeks. It doesn’t mean he won’t keep getting better. It doesn’t mean he can’t play soccer. It does mean a potential 12 more weeks of him needing assistance and him not wanting to even try to do some things. Last night he said he couldn’t do the shower on his own. I knew he needed some help, but he wouldn’t even turn on the water. I know some of this is the injury taking its toll on a 9 year old who is incredibly sensitive. I need to help him in not only pouring the shampoo in his hand, but also helping him try to do it himself first. Sure, it might not work, but I have seen him do amazing things even in a cast so it all seems to depend greatly on how much he wants to do something. It is a fine line and I don’t always know if I am walking it right.

For now, I have to see what the doctor recommends. Most likely we will see the PT in the same facility. The surgeon won’t have anything to do with these follow ups. I know we will see him again in 3 weeks, but he is mostly looking at his handiwork with the bone itself, which makes sense. Even Andy said it could be nothing. I have actually seen a lot of improvement in his range of motion after 24 hours of cast freedom. It is now about not freaking out and just making sure he gets whatever treatment he needs.

He went to practice last night, which clearly made him about as giddy as I have seen him in ages. He was a little rusty, despite having done practice with them over these past 6 weeks. His balance was off, as he was no longer contending with a heavy cast on one arm, and I could tell he also wasn’t quite sure what to do with his arm. JJ said he looked a little out of shape, which made some sense, but no one was concerned, especially since it was only his first true day back. Having these extra 2 weeks before a real game will be a good thing for sure. If his mobility isn’t quite back yet, he will most likely not play as hard as he did before the injury, but perhaps him just being present will be good overall.

Bobby and I rode our bikes to the practice. You really do not appreciate the quantity of hills in your hood until you ride a bike. Luckily riding the path Bobby plans to take to the school was great because I could be confident in knowing he knows how to get to and from the school. I gotta say, my knee is quite sore after the adventure. He rode around the block a couple times once we got there and then ended up heading home. I stayed since I wanted to see most of the scrimmage. I was able to head home when they stopped and just didn’t help with clean up or loading the car with the chairs. I had to stop once while going up the hill, noting the cold wind coupled with the already post nasal drip I have been dealing with put me in a bit of a coughing fit. That being said, I didn’t walk my bike at all and felt pretty damn good once I made it home. I was also a good girl, and wore my helmet. I actually wore Ken’s since I don’t know where mine is. I did however see one at Toys R Us I may need to go back for since it has a nice spot in the back for my hair so it isn’t uncomfortable. Just now I opted to check on Amazon to see if they had it, looking up ponytail helmet. I was not disappointed. Please laugh with me at this picture of one of the things that comes up with that search.

The boss is back today, most likely full of bullshit information concerning all of the eastern customers he was dealing with these past two days. I, sadly, have a handful of those accounts. They are crap accounts and for whatever reason, we continue to cater to the sales reps from that territory, extending questionable credit lines and having enormous amounts of patience with very little payout. I am not anxious in the least to talk to him about any of them.

I will end on a happy note. I managed to not only put together the boys’ Easter baskets, but I even got the plastic eggs to hide. I still need to obtain some Skittles to put inside the eggs, but ultimately I am pretty ready for the holiday that seemed to sneak up on me. I am quite giddy about it, though, as for the first time in a long time I am proud of those plushes I found for the baskets. Sure, I always end up putting some kind of bunny in there, marveling at the quality of some of the decent ones at the 99 cent store. This year, though, the sloth and Messi will truly be a masterpiece. Of course, both of them may smile and toss them to the side, shattering this happy moment. Ahh, dems the brakes of parenthood, right?