1-5-16
New Year, new attitude.
I have always found comfort in writing in my journal. It is
something I have tried to do since I was about 14. It allows me to reflect on
things that have taken place. It allows me to voice an opinion on topics. It
also is a great way for my kids to have physical proof of how crazy I am for
the funny farm when I am older.
The one thing it started to become in my mind (not sure if
it was in real life) was a lazy person’s way of keeping up with who I am. I worried
that friends used this platform as a way to feel ok with not checking in on me
because as long as I blogged, it meant I was alive and (mostly) well. In
addition to this, there are people that I am not close with that could very
well be reading this in an attempt to keep me in their life despite their very
blatant ways to keep me out of theirs. Yeah, Brandy, I’m looking at you. I have
no idea if you even read this, but rest assured, I kind of stopped because I
felt like if you didn’t want me to know you, then dammit, you didn’t get to
know me.
All of this being said, it all comes down to being
incredibly petty on my part. I have noted a decrease in my ability to think as
rationally as I once did on random happenings and it took a text from Sarah to
really kick me in the ass to realize how stupid I am being. She was talking about
how she is doing a website/blog in which she discusses her ways to get better
after having dealt with thyroid cancer. She is healthy (one of the healthiest
people I know) now, but obviously there are things that can take their toll and
it is because of this she wanted a way to keep on track with her recovery. I
texted her this very observation and it made me think. I know, shocking, right?
So what I am saying, in a not so eloquent way is that I am
back. I plan on making this blog thing my priority again. I am not going to
fancy up the format unless for some reason I am feeling like I can for a day. I
can’t guarantee pictures or even anything interesting being typed out on my
word document. All this is will be is my way to process the gobs of data in my
head in a slightly public forum which will hold me accountable.
Thank you for enjoying, or at the very least, reading, my
journey.
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