Wednesday, March 31, 2010

My Man Hurts

3-31-10


I honestly have no idea how I got to work this morning. I mean, I know my car is in the parking lot, but I am relatively sure I slept the whole way in. I hate these kind of mornings. I am walking down the hall, staggering like a drunk. Last night, along with the night before that, I could not get comfortable. I know that I was a little concerned with falling in to deep of a sleep since Ken is still in so much pain. I didn’t want him to have to get up to tend to one of the boys if they got up. I also could not find the right temperature. It was too cold to not be covered up, but not cold enough to be covered. I am tempted to sleep in sweats tonight, thinking then I wouldn’t need covers.

Ken is in pain. He has Acute Sigmoid Diverticulitis. After a CT scan, they discovered a kernel of corn, probably from popcorn, stuck in his colon. It hurts, a lot. He is taking multiple pain pills at a time now (doc said it was ok) just to be able to function. The real problem is, when he stands or sits, gravity puts his weight and organs and whatnot on the painful area. Lying down is the only time he is comfortable. He has classes, though, that he has to do, so he is not resting the way you are supposed to with this. He has a class this morning, but luckily only one. However, he will be on the move from 6:30 this morning when he gets up, to 12:30. That is a long day for someone in so much pain.

He is on antibiotics. Something like 3 of them. He has to take them multiple times during the day. His phone chirps at him to remind him for each pill. He has to avoid all red meat, all milk based products and something else, but I can’t remember what that is. Really, it doesn’t matter much since he has zero appetite.

We are on alert for any vomiting since if this occurs, he will need to get to the emergency room ASAP. Surgery might be needed. Brandy has offered to come watch the kids if this happens, so we are covered, which is awesome. Hopefully I don’t have to take her up on the offer since I am thinking emergency surgery is not good. Plus, that is my normal thing to have emergency procedures, not him, so he isn’t allowed to take my thing. LOL!

I had Ken take a bath last night. I dumped in like 12 bath oil duckies for him and even left a rubber duckie in there for him. He said it was comfortable since you are kind of weightless in water, which was good on his insides. His skin is certainly all soft now. LOL!

I didn’t let him read to the boys, forcing him to stay on the couch. The boys were sweet about it and didn’t complain. I was pleased. In fact, both of them gave daddy a nice kiss and went to bed without incident.

It was a mellow evening considering I had an active day yesterday. I was super busy at work with gobs of reports. I like those kind of days, actually. The day flies by, and I feel very accomplished.

In the afternoon, Ken came over to work to pick up the Lego from my car. He actually came into the office and brought me some Easter Lilies, a giant “1”, “0” and heart balloon for our anniversary. He also brought me gum, which was awesome!! I have all of these now at my desk, which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

I walked Ken out to the car and tried to help get the Lego out of my car and into his. Ken has these little fold up hand carts to use for carting around the Lego. I pulled one out, and went to unfold it, and it fell on my toe. I was wearing sandals. Mind you, these carts are super light, but it fell just right and took a chunk out of my big toe. It hurt, but I laughed. I looked down to see the glowing white a cut gets right before the blood gushes out. I knew this wasn’t a good thing. Ken wasn’t right next to me, he was at his car. I looked down to see blood all over the place. Ouch. Luckily, I had some baby wipes next to me since it was in the back of my car. Ken wrapped my toe up in the wipe, which was red within a few minutes. I went back inside and bandaged my toe as best I could. It isn’t pretty. Yet, I was most happy about the fact that it was on my left foot, which sports a broken toe nail already and is the sprained ankle. It just means this leg is out of commission.

I told Ken the news of what I wanted to get him for his birthday. I had looked into sensory deprivation tanks since Joe Rogan went on and on about how cool they were. Ken is the type of person who would get a lot from such an experience, so I knew he would enjoy it. I came across a couple of locations, one in Nevada City and one in Grass Valley. Since we were going to be up that way for his birthday, I thought that would be cool. The one in Nevada City of course was closed that weekend, ironically enough because the owner was going to be in So Cal visiting in-laws. But the one in Grass Valley was open, so I need to call today to make an appt for him. I didn’t just want to make an appt without talking with him first since it is an experience that is really only for the open minded. He was totally game, which is awesome since I know it will be all around interesting. Yay!

I am sad now. I normally sabotage the sticky traps at work. I guess I missed one in the warehouse. I found a mouse on the trap, already dead. I failed him.

In more pleasant news, I have decided on a new tradition for Easter. Mostly, this was done out of necessity. I needed to go into Target on Monday night to hopefully find the Star Wars Easter basket. The problem was, I had the boys with me. So I told them they needed to pick out baskets, similar to how we pick out stockings, and that we needed to put them out for the Easter bunny. I am thinking that we need to put out some carrots for him, too. Maybe some bunny foot prints? Either way, they will now get to pick out their Easter basket each year.

I hate it when I crave chocolate and I have none in sight. Oh well. I don’t need it anyway. LOL!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Boring Weekend-J/K!!!

3-29-10

What a weekend!!!

It seemed like a pretty mellow evening. The boys were in bed, Ken and I were chilling, catching up on some tv. Luna was at my feet, chewing on a bone, occasionally eyeing and growling at her reflection in the tv cabinet.

We heard the sirens. We didn’t think much of them until they were clearly on our street. The cars we heard were also driving super fast, speeding around our block. We ran up to look out the front door in time to watch a large pickup pull up in front of the house about 6 houses down. It was the house with a half dozen giant butterflies on it, that was frequented by the resident’s son who was there with his buddies, always working on said truck.

At first the guy got out casually. A cop car even zoomed past him, so we thought perhaps it wasn’t him they were after. The cop car that came next knew it was him, and he broke into a run up into his driveway. Within a few seconds, there were so many cops I couldn’t count. They all converged upon the house.

There were helicopters, there were guns drawn, it was a high speed chase that ended with the arrest of our neighbor on our block! It was all very exciting, especially since at this point, we assumed it was all over. Ken walked down to check it out, while Luna and I turned on the news to see if there was any video of our block from the news copters.

Ken texted me and told me that there was another suspect they were looking for. He was somewhere in the neighborhood. Not long after this, the 11 o’clock news confirmed this information with a quick blurb and visual of the neighborhood. The news also indicated the area was blocked off and that the suspect was armed.

Crap.

We put the house in lock down, making sure all doors were closed and locked. We also turned on the back porch light and front one so that we didn’t look like a good place to hide. I left Lycos in Bobby’s room, figuring she would be a good protector for him. I kept Luna out for my own sanity, since Ken was still down with the cops.

I was very frustrated that there was NOTHING on the net about this. In fact, the only news was the 2 minute quick story on Fox 11, and then they never came back to it. I hate not having information, especially now that we live in an age where I am accustomed to having it at my fingertips.

Ken got back and told me that they were planning on searching house to house with police dogs. It would probably be a little bit before they got to our house, so we shut down the house and headed to the bedroom to wait. I fell asleep pretty quickly, and Ken dozed off about 1.

At around 2 am, I heard the doorbell ring. Ken didn’t budge, the normal follow up of dog barking didn’t occur, so I wasn’t 100% sure if it was real or not. But I knew that there were still cops around, since I could hear the helicopters above.

I yelled at Ken. He didn’t move. I yelled again. Nothing. So I smacked him on the back, and he got up in a daze. We were both in a haze of exhaustion and adrenaline. The police were at the door, letting us know that they were going to search our yard. No problem! It was terrifying, though. I stood in the hallway, waiting to see if one of my children might wake up to this. Plus, I half expected Lycos to bark since there was a large, strange dog in our yard.

The police dog was funny since you could tell he was occasionally at odds with having to work, but walking along a yard covered in dog toys.

Thankfully, the boys didn’t wake up to any of this. Dax did wake up at one point, but it was standard complaints concerning being thirsty. Neither dog ever barked, either, which did not put my mind at ease in terms of having two dogs to protect me from Stabby Joe.

The cops checked the garage, the driveway, all the way back in the yard, the whole time with guns drawn. Holy shit, that was terrifying. Yet at the same time, we were excited at the whole process since it was still interesting. They were in the yard for maybe 20 minutes or so, possibly 30. Honestly, time started to all blend together and I wasn’t sure what day it even was.

We heard a lot of barking, and we wondered if perhaps one of the police dogs had found something. We also then heard a gun shot. Let me tell you, when you hear a gun shot so close to home when there is an armed suspect in the neighborhood, you freak a little. We found out the next day what had actually occurred. The barking was a neighbor’s dog. The man who owned the dog was not home. He was actually trying to get home, but the cops were not letting him go back to his house, so he had spent the evening in his car down the street. Mind you, there were some other neighbors of ours that live on the block behind us that also had been out, but were let back to their house to get their dogs. The cops, having not let this guy go back, didn’t have anyone to contain his dog when they searched his property. According to the cops, the dog attacked them. Look, I don’t blame this dog. These dudes were on this dog’s turf. The cops shot the dog. Yes, they shot this poor dog. Now look, I could understand if they shot the dog in the chest or something since it was lunging at them. Nope. Dog was shot in the ass. No joke. They shot the dog from behind. The bullet went through his butt and if I remember correctly, exited through his chest. The dog, last we heard, was in critical condition. Ken happened to talk to the owner. What the fuck!!!!

The police were in our neighborhood, searching until after 5 am. Ken and I got very little sleep. We were still on edge most of the night. I felt sick from all of the legitimate stress. It was bad. Thankfully, the boys slept in until 7, and were both cheery when they awoke. I crawled out of bed to make them breakfast, hoping that Ken would get even a little bit more sleep. I know I slept more than him, since I tend to be able to sleep through anything.

With no sleep and slightly frayed nerves, I was impressed at the rest of the day. I had planned on cleaning out my closet on Saturday, and I kept that plan. It was quite the adventure, really. I took out everything. I boxed and bagged up all my old purses, some clothing, shoes and other assorted crap I didn’t need anymore. These items now are in my car. I am going to show some of the clothing to a co-worker, then I am taking it all to Goodwill.

In my cleaning, you would be so proud of me. I threw out stuff that I never thought I would. This included old three ring binders from high school that I only kept because of all the teen angsty doodles all over them. Everything from song lyrics to announcements of random couples (My favorite was one where I had this one friend named Ben who was dating one girl, so it had Ben “hearts” and under it was a crossed out name, and then the new girlfriend’s name under it). This sort of thing cracks me up, but really, it has no place in my life anymore. It is cute, and funny, but when will I ever really need to have that?

I found a bunch of old mix tapes, including the tape David gave me when we stopped talking for like 6 months, and a tape Greg made called, “Where the hell are my CD’s” that he had made with just records. Great music on these, if I remember correctly. I was just mostly excited since I can actually listen to them since my car has a tape player! It is an old enough car that it has a cassette player and a CD player. Now I can listen to music in three forms. LOL!! Bobby certainly made me feel old, though. He looked at the cassette tapes and declared them super old.

When I was all done, my closet had all my clothing nicely hung up, I had a floor again that I was able to move my shoe rack from the bedroom into. Ken even re-did the wiring for me so my light in there isn’t made up of 100 wires. LOL! It looks great!!

By moving this shoe rack out of the bedroom, it gave us even more clean places in there. I removed a hairball the size of Monarch, which was awesome to have that gone.

In the afternoon, the boys played out in the pool. We hung outside with them, hosing them down occasionally, which they loved. Luna especially enjoyed the hose play. I decided to go ahead and do a quick bath of both dogs since it was so nice out.

We hung out in the yard most of the afternoon. Ken and I did come inside for a couple hours while the boys and dogs continued to play. I was able to get about 80% of the laundry done in this time.

Saturday evening, thankfully, was uneventful. We went to bed early to try and catch up from the prior nights adventures.

Sunday morning was bowling. I opted to not bowl since my ankle is still not 100%. I am glad I didn’t, since my back was also killing me. Ken was so tired. The lanes had no oil on them, and his throws were way off because of it. He was so out of it, that this was too frustrating to continue. Bobby, on the other hand, was having a hell of a morning. He was getting strikes and spares and doing amazing! It was awesome! Thankfully, they ended up oiling the lanes, so Ken did bowl the last game, and he felt so much better.

After bowling, we hit up Target for some supplies. Specifically, we went looking for the Star Wars Easter baskets. Unfortunately, they did not have them. Crap. We are going to have to do some Target runs this week.

Bobby picked out a toy to get with the gift card Alyssa gave him for his birthday. He was quite pleased with this. The boys were so nice, hanging out in the car, sipping their icees. It was a good trp.

When we got home, we had the boys eat some lunch and watch a movie and then go to nap. During nap, Ken and I watched “The Men Who Stare at Goats.” Awesome flick. So much fun and an amazing cast. I highly recommend it.

After the movie, Ken set to work on our toilet. He needed to replace something, which meant it needed to be removed. Bobby hung out in the bathroom with Ken, watching him work, which was super cute. With the toilet removed, I made the suggestion that Ken put in the bathroom flooring while he had the toilet out. My suggestion was approved, and Ken set to work on putting in our flooring. Woo Hoo!!!!!! It looks amazing. I am so pleased with it. It makes the bathroom so much brighter. Now, all we need is the edges for the flooring done, which is some kind of molding, and then paint the walls, put in the shelving and it is done!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

While Ken worked on the bathroom all afternoon, the boys played in the pool again. I worked on the house. I finished all the laundry, including a bunch of blankets that needed to be done for months. I cleaned the kitchen. I cleaned the living room. I reorganized my desk, making it super nice. I swept the floor about 100 times. Since we put down the wood chips in the yard, they seem to be all over the house. Luckily they are way easy to sweep up, and, no more muddy paw and foot prints in my house!! I am telling you, my house is sparkling. It is awesome! The boys’ rooms still need some work, but they are not bad, and let’s face it, the mess is mostly that they have too damn many toys. LOL! But most of those toys were put away by the end of the day. I still have two loads of laundry to do. One is in the dryer, and the other load in the wash includes the bath mats. I am not sure why I bothered since this weekend we are going to reward ourselves with a new bath mat set for our hard work. Ken also needs to clean up his desk, which he will probably work on this week.

This morning I am sore, but I feel accomplished. I have some minor work today in preparation for tomorrow’s crazy day of reports. I look forward to report days, so tomorrow should be good.

Ken is going to the doc this morning since he has had bad pains in his lower regions. He is pretty sure it is a kidney stone, which doesn’t shock me. He is kind of due for one. Hopefully it isn’t anything beyond that, and hopefully they can give him some kind of meds. I suppose depending on what they give him, I may need to pick him up, but we will see. He has class this afternoon, but I think that if he was this bad off, it can be canceled and made up at a later date. It has happened in the past.

I started delving into what made me have such anxiety and a breakdown regarding my upcoming trip to Ohio. I had some interesting breakthroughs while emailing with Stephanie. I am concerned that a lot of my anxiety revolves around guilt. It isn’t me concerned that the boys are in mortal danger. I have guilt that stems back to my own upbringing. My parents never went out without us. They didn’t go on trips without us. They were around for our entire young lives. The longest amount of time Matt and I were without parental supervision was the maybe hour at the most from when we got home from school and they got home from work. My parents were, and are, ones who have always said that they didn’t like other parents who felt like they could drop their kids off with the grandparents every weekend. This is what I was raised on. So when I had kids, my head went into high gear on how it was that I would be able to do everything, and never need to drop the kids off to be watched by anyone. Of course, this was already compromised the minute I took them to daycare. My mom was home with us until we started school. And even then, she was at the school we attended. I, on the other hand, was a full time working mom. Ken was working. The boys had to go to daycare. Already, I had one strike against me in my subconscious.

Keep in mind, my mom never balks at watching the boys. Hell, she will watch them even if she is busy! But in my own warped head, I still hear the criticism. My parents have told me over and over how great of a mom I am. Yet I can’t hear this. It is so odd. So leaving the boys for 4 days of my own fun still comes across as selfish to me.

On top of the boy guilt, there is the Ken part. I have had him as my touch stone for 14 years. That is a long ass time. Before Ken, I only had a short time in which I was truly single. I had dated Greg off and on for 5 years and didn’t ever date anyone else in between. I don’t know that I know how to be alone. I am lucky since I am happy with Ken and it isn’t like I ended up with an a-hole who beats me or is awful. That being said, it is probably good for me, and for Ken and my relationship, that I am not just Ken and Gena, but Gena, who is married to Ken. I do have my own personality. I do stand out compared to him. When I am at work, trust me that they know me as Gena, superstar, not just Ken’s wife or the boys’ mommy. I am Gena, hear me roar! I want to make sure that I don’t lose that when I clock out.

I need to really be excited about this trip. There was a time in which this would have been the most exciting trip ever. I need it to still be. A week away from the men in my life is nothing in the grand scheme of things. It is ok to miss them. Hell, it is ok to tear up a little when they say their goodbyes. But I need to really work on in my own head, exactly how much fun I am going to have. I need to be confident and jazzed and really be myself.

Stephanie pointed, out, which is something I know Brandy and Jenni have said to me, too, that I need to consider who I was before these boys were in my life. When I was 15, what did I like to do? When I was 10, what did I like to do? What made Ken fall in love with me? Why did I want kids? What are hobbies that I enjoy? What is happy making for Gena, not just happy making when it makes other people happy around me. I may need some people’s help on this. Despite having a great memory, this seems to be a part of me that I locked away to some degree. I would like to know why Brandy ever became friends with me. I want to know how Jenni decided I was fun to hang around. I am revisiting my own soul and it should be a fun adventure. I am feeling super positive about this, and Ken has given his blessing for this journey. He told me that he loves it when I do things that make me happy, and even if it isn’t his cup of tea, he is ok with all of me, so it doesn’t matter. I know that being Gena will be beneficial to my children when they don’t just have memories of mommy cooking dinner. They should have memories of mommy writing a book or running a marathon or taking amazing pictures. I need to be a person, and I am excited!!

I am all upset that the plan I had for Ken’s birthday didn’t occur the way I wanted it to. I am not discouraged, though. The place I wanted to take him is in Nevada City, and of course, the people who own the place are going to be in So Cal that weekend. LOL! It figures. Luckily, I am aware of another location that does a similar thing in Grass Valley, so the plan is this morning to email them.

YAY!! So all my clothing and purses and shoes all went to a new home! My friend, Sunshine at work took everything I brought. She was so happy about all of it, too! I feel so good about it, too! She is a sweetheart, and I am always so excited to make someone happy like that. She hates to go shopping, so she just went shopping in my car for free. LOL!!!

The only real problem with today is that it seems to be 100 degrees in the office. I have my fan on already. Of course, some of the heat my be the fact that I just walked outside where it was warm. LOL! Either way, I am hoping the fan helps shortly.

I am pleased with my summer dress that I got from Old Navy. Everyone keeps complimenting me on it, telling me how cute I look. Nothing like the uber ego boost!

We didn’t get to it yesterday, but hopefully this week we will do it. On Saturday night, Bobby had me read to him from this science text book looking thing for story time. It had lots of cool stuff in it, talking about climate and different things, including volcanoes. He was surprised to hear that volcanoes were in fact real, not just stuff on the tv. So he asked me questions about what causes the lava and what does it look like. I figured it would be fun to do the pretend volcano for him. So on Sunday, we picked up the supplies for the lava and Ken said we could make a volcano out of their sand, with a cup in the middle for the lava. I am looking forward to this adventure, as is Bobby. Should be fun!

I am loving this new dog bonding. Lycos and Luna have been playing together so happily lately. I don’t know if it is because Luna seems to have calmed down enough to understand the correct dog play doesn’t just mean to nip at Lycos’s face, or if Lycos has decided that having a best bud is actually fun. Either way, it is really endearing to see them romp together. I tried to spoil both of them with new bones, but only Luna was super jazzed about it. I have Lycos another treat, though. I also changed out Luna’s collar since hers was now too big. In my cleaning, I had come across Panda’s collar and tags. It was a pretty new collar, since she had gotten one right before she died. So I took off the tags and used Panda’s collar on Luna. It seems morbid, but actually, it seemed kind of cool to have my dogs share collars. It also looks like Luna shouldn’t get too much bigger, which is great. She is still slightly smaller than Lycos. Of course, she isn’t a year, yet, so I know that she could sprout. I hope she doesn’t get too much bigger since she is a great size right now.

My poor Ken is at the doc’s right now. He is in quite a bit of pain. I really hope it is just a kidney stone that isn’t anything serious. I also really hope they give him something to make the pain stop. He doesn’t normally just crumple.

Ok, it is 76 degrees in the office. I verified. It is stuffy and hot. Not fun.

I have a raging headache right now. I am guessing it is related to the hot in the office. I will live. The hot seems to also be making me sleepy. Of course, that might not just be due to the hot so much as the fact that I am tired and at work. LOL!!

Ken is in route to the hospital. The x-ray he had showed a mass that the doc thought was a kidney stone, but the radiologist thought was just some calcium in veins? No blood in the urine, either, plus the pains are not consistent with kidney stones. I may need to pick up his Lego from a class. I am waiting to see if he gets into the CT scan earlier than the appt. I hope so. I will pick up Lego, then go to the hospital.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Sob Story

3-26-10

I am out of sorts this morning and frankly quite exhausted from my break down last night.

Do not be alarmed. I am sure this was coming. Since it was mentioned a couple months ago, I have had anxiety regarding the upcoming trip to Ohio. Taking out all the positive and even negative in terms of logistics and taking time off, there is the giant issue at hand which is I will be without my boys for 3 days.

The longest I have been away from the boys has been over night. The first time I left Bobby with someone just for a couple of hours I was a mess. It has gotten easier, but I can tell you my heart does ache every time I drive away from my parent’s house, waving to my slightly weepy boys.

This situation is going to be even harder for me. Not only am I leaving them, I am going on a plane right then, and I won’t have Ken to calm me down. I am going to want to cry, but I will be trying to keep it together since I will be in public, and not with my touch stone. I can assure you, I will be taking my Xanax.

Last night, Papa Brenan called to confirm plans and I nodded to the go ahead for making my reservations. I was in the midst of watching a sad scene in a movie, so it was easy to hide my minor tears as just part of my wussy movie watching. The proverbial straw then hit fast and hard.

Ken got off the phone and mentioned the idea Papa Brenan had of instead of putting the boys through such a chaotic day of travel (flying to Colorado early Friday morning, and flying home early Saturday) to just possibly have them stay with my folks for the day/night and then Ken could retrieve them Saturday morning when he arrived home. I lost it.

This plan meant that I would have to bid them goodbye a day earlier, making the length of time I didn’t see them even longer. Sure, it isn’t too much longer, but I was already fragile. I couldn’t hold back the tears. I am sure I yelled, not meaning to be angry, but I just broke down.

It was all so final. Reservations were made, I couldn’t really back out now. I was going to Ohio, for better or for worse.

I know that most people would think I was crazy. What mom wouldn’t kill to get out of town for a few days without her husband and kids? Especially a mom who works full time both at work and at home, who when at home is the center of everything that goes on from kids, man, dogs, cats and even rat! It is a dream come true, right?

Sure, it probably is for someone who isn’t so terrified of change. Or someone who isn’t prone to over reacting to even the smallest things. Plus, I am someone who needs to have some kind of routine. I like that I wake up at a certain time every morning. I like that I go to bed with M*A*S*H playing in the background every night. I like reading to my kids each night and I like Monarch curled up at my feet. I like my dogs getting so excited to see me that they can’t stand it anymore. I like that Ratticus climbs up on the cage to greet me when I walk by. I miss that even when I go out for the evening. I really do just have a need to be in my element. It probably seems lame.

I can venture out of my comfort zone, but I usually have to have Ken with me. God forbid he dies before me. Seriously, I have a hard time sleeping without him. I told him last night to be prepared for me to be super tired when I get home since I know I won’t sleep for those 3 nights.

On the plus side, I will have video chat available. I will have Bitty with me and now with the web cam at home, I will be able to see and talk to the boys. That may make it easier. I am also going with people I feel comfortable with. Holly will understand my mommy sadness which will be nice. Andy is awesome on every level so I will feel fine around him. I lived with Papa Brenan for years, so it is all good around him. There will be one new person, but I think I should be ok with that. Plus, I will have cemeteries to roam through, and my primary focus is to document the whole trip with my camera, which I will love. Actually, if anything, I think my camera will become my crutch out there.

I just put in the request for my days off. I took off that Thursday and Friday as well. I may need to use those days to reconnect with the boys in my life. Disneyland, the zoo, museums, movies, dinner, etc. It will be a jam packed week.

On top of all this worry on my part, I have been feeling nauseous and icky the last day and a half. I still feel hunger and have been able to eat, but I just feel off. Not sure if it is related to my trip or not. I am keeping an eye on myself. I am going to tough it out at work today since if I go home, I know that I will just want to clean, which will not make me feel any better. Sure, it will sort of, but not the same. Plus, I need to save up my time off.

What sucks more than anything on feeling so blue on this trip is that I don’t know that anyone understands me. I am not saying that people can’t feel sad for me, but I don’t know how many people get that stupid when they leave their kids. Ken doesn’t understand fully what I am going through. He doesn’t get the same tinge of sad when he drops the kids off at daycare. Don’t get me wrong, there are days when I count down the hours until bed time. But they are still there, under my roof, just a few feet from me. Maybe I am feeling guilty internally for being happy to bail for some time?

Seriously, I don’t like feeling nauseous. Especially when there are no results. Plus, my window for bailing just closed since the boss just got here. Sure, I could still leave, but it is more awkward.

My time off request was just approved. I have April 30th off to go up to the Compound, and I have the week off for the Ohio trip. Woo hoo! I was a little worried, but I don’t know why. My boss, as much as he drives me nuts, has always been awesome about time off. Seriously, he approves everything and has always been super cool about sick leave and even unpaid leave. I should know. I have been out for 2 pregnancies, with one of them being 6 months, I have been out for 2 weeks for a hospital stay, and countless trips and sick days over the last 9 and a half years.

In other news, I need to keep an eye on a spot on Luna’s stomach. She must have been bit by a spider since I found the red target spot on her tummy. It doesn’t seem to bother her, and it isn’t super red. Ken thinks it is an old bite, which makes me feel bad that I didn’t notice it, but it is pretty low on her stomach and I don’t tend to look at her there. Either way, I am keeping an eye on it to make sure I don’t end up with another lopsided dog.

Lycos is so cute. After she eats her dinner, she just kind of strolls of to bed, which is in Bobby’s room. She is like this little old lady, happy to be able to get away from the youngster. She can’t fool us as much now, though. We have both witnessed the dogs playing together now. Lycos actually seems to like her blond roommate.

There is good news and bad news with it being hot tomorrow. Hot means the boys can play in the pool. Hot also means unfun working conditions for Ken and I. LOL! But the plan is to tackle the small storage sheds and the side of the house. I want to move the storage sheds in to the yard so that we can use them better. I also want to move the car and trailer down so we have our driveway back.

Speaking of the PT, Ken is planning on getting it fixed. The Blazer is on its last wheels really, and aside from the timing belt on the Cruiser, it is in excellent condition. It will only cost a couple of thousand to repair, which we can get done on a payment plan hopefully. Ken can then use that as his primary car. The Blazer would be kept in the back of the driveway since it is the only car we own that can pull the trailer. I would like to get that done soon.

I really really really really really really really really really really want to see Hot Tub Time Machine. Of course, I don’t see it happening until it comes out on video, but I think that is ok. All I know is that when on KROQ they talked to Craig Robinson about the movie, he and Ralph were talking about sound bites from the movie, one being, “Great White Buffalo” said like a whisper. All I can think of is this song on the Hackers soundtrack that sounds just like that, and I wonder if it is from the same song. I looked it up, and it is not a reference to the song as far as I can tell, but still funny!

Ok, I am getting ready to go to the going away pot luck. I have no idea how long I will be over there. Part of me wants to linger just so I can kill time. Of course, then I have to come back here and it is harder to do things like surf the net when it isn’t my lunch break. But we will see. Either way, it is 11 which means I only have a little over 3 hours left, an hour of which at least is pot lucking! YAY!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Another day another dollar

3-25-10

I am quite tired this morning. I was having a mini anxiety attack last night. Nothing serious. I think it was just a result of tired and my throat. The boys are just getting over coughs and I can feel my own throat getting sore, which just puts me into the hypochondriac cycle of worrying my throat will close up. I know I got to sleep, but I couldn’t ever get really comfortable. I felt like I was tossing and turning all night. When I finally found a good spot, I heard Luna beating the hell out of her food dish which had apparently been shut into her crate with her. Oops. I didn’t want to move, but it kept me awake.

Yesterday afternoon we made good on the promise of going back to Disneyland. We hit up California Adventure first, going on the California Soaring. Man, I just can’t get over how well done that ride is. We got to sit next to some people that had similar senses of humor as we did, so the one guy was saying some entertaining things, which had us all laughing. I had a blast!

After that ride, we were heading over to Space Mountain when we noticed that the Pixar parade was about to begin. We got a great spot and the boys loved the hell out of that parade. Who am I kidding, I loved the hell out of that parade! It was awesome! All of the Pixar characters the boys loved were there. Buzz of course made them quite pleased, but honestly, the highlight was Lightning McQueen and Mater, full sized cars, driving down the street. Holy crap, that was cool. We had seen them up close before, but I didn’t know they drove! I felt like a little kid watching that.

At Disneyland, there was a section blocked off for “safety concerns”. The Cast Member was not real open about it, so as we rounded the area, we could see what that concern was. Bees! A whole swarm of them near Star Tours. It was pretty interesting, really, since what does Disneyland do in a case like that? Do they have a bee keeper on staff? We didn’t stick around to see, but I am curious as to how often it happens.

Space Mountain was once again, awesome on every level. The boys giggled and laughed the whole time, enjoying every turn and drop it had to offer. Clearly they will love Magic Mountain when they get old enough. Those will be days where Ken can do a dad and boys day and I will go out shopping. LOL!

We got home late, but it was well worth it. Although I am a little frustrated with the boys and some of their whining. Specifically, Dax who doesn’t seem to understand that when he tells you that he is thirsty, that it doesn’t mean he instantly will be handed a drink. 15 seconds after he tells you he is thirsty, he will then follow that up with, “Mom, I am still thirsty”. 45 seconds after that, “Mom, I am thirsty.” 15 seconds, “Mom, I am really thirsty”. 1 minute later, “Mom, but I am thirsty.” I can tell you, it gets a little annoying.

I am quite excited since I found a cool present possibly for Ken’s birthday. I emailed for more info on it this morning and hopefully I will hear back. I am always pleased when I can find a cool present. Mostly with Ken, too, since he is one of those people that really, if there is something he wants, he can just get it. So I have to come up with something he wouldn’t normally get for himself. That being said, Ken, when are you planning on using that nice massage coupon I got you last year for our anniversary?

I still want my bear party. I need to consider a guest list. Of course, I want grownups there, but I also want my boys there, so that means there will be kids from other grownups there, which I am way ok with. I just need to get myself a head count so I know how big a party it is, you know?

Our maintenance, general handy man, guy who pretty much does any odd jobs we need done, guy is retiring at the end of the month. He has been here for 30 years and is eleventy. Super sweet heart guy, too. There is a potluck in his honor tomorrow, so I suppose I should dress nice since I will actually see people.

Transvestite donkey witch in a dress. Holy shit, that is funny. It is how South Park described Sarah Jessica Parker. I think I need to make sure that show is set back up on our Tivo.

I am pretty sure I don’t have anything on tap this weekend, so my big plan is to clean out my closet. I have crap in there in boxes and on the floor, and truly, it is such a mess I can’t find anything. There are some other organizing things that need to be done, such as the garage. Since Saturday is a free day, I am thinking the boys can play out back while we toss stuff. Should be a good day all around. I always feel so accomplished when I clean.

I don’t know if something is wrong with my phone or my boob. I normally always feel the vibrating of my phone long before it starts to ring or notify me in sound that I have a message. Yet the last two days, I have not felt any vibration, and I am all shocked when it beeps. Sometimes I have felt it, but not every time. I don’t know if it is how I placed the phone or what, but it is a little frustrating.

At what point is someone flirting with you? Ok, here is where my question comes from. I have a co worker who I have known professionally for, well, 10 years. I never see him since he is in another building. A couple days ago, we had emailed about something for a customer and there was some silly banter, nothing interesting. I pointed out that I was easily amused, and so this morning, he sent me an email saying good morning, and said that this was for my easily amusement. It was a funny picture and joke, and I laughed and I emailed back good morning and that is about it. I am certainly not suggesting that he and I were flirting, btw. But then again, what is flirting? I tell Ken this all the time that he flirts TONS. The thing is, the flirting I have seen him do are clearly not to get into someone’s pants. It is just the slightly more charming talk to a pretty girl that could also sound like he wants to get some. I know that Ken isn’t trying to sleep with these women, but the way he acts could be misconstrued. With him, it is super funny in a lot of ways (annoying on other days). But so my question remains, why is it that flirting has such negative connotation. Hell, even flirting it up with someone random is one of those ego boosts. When I had the mustang, I remember two separate occasions in which I was hit on while driving. Once was by this bus driver who joked about finding a place to pull over, and another guy near my doctor’s office hit on me. I would like to point out both dudes were black, which was more flattering (Don’t ask, I just thought it was cool when someone thought I was flirt worthy when I am as giant as I am, and black men seem to appreciate curves more). Mind you, I would NEVER get with them. But I can tell you, I felt so pretty those days. No joke. And even if this email this morning had nothing behind it, I felt all happy that someone thought of me today, even as a friend. Of course, I know at what point it is too much. But it is funny when it is totally innocent and just kind of a fun little thing to do to pass the time. So I guess what I don’t know is, when are people being serious? I have not dated much, especially in the last 14 years (LOL) and I know I read more into things than I should. Not just from people possibly flirting with me. I have watched people flirt with one another, and then when I asked them about it, there was nothing there at all. Almost to the point of, “I would never get with that person in a million years” type of attitude. How incredibly confusing! Especially if one party who was being flirted with didn’t realize they didn’t stand a chance!

Then you hear about these horrible stories of Jesse James having cheated with several women while married to Sandra Bullock. He always seemed like a stand up guy, and their relationship seemed solid. So now, he has at least 3 women coming forward saying he was sleeping with them. How could he do that when he seems to desperately in love with his wife? Was this flirting taken too far? Did he just feel neglected while she was out of town for work? Did these women just present too many opportunities that he couldn’t keep turning them down? Not saying that he should be let off the hook, but you wonder what went on. I would love to know the full story from inside his head. We will probably never know the full details.

I am rambling a bit on this topic. I just think it is all fascinating. I would love to be a therapist. No joke. I would love to sit and listen to a couple talk about their issues. I want to listen to one side, then the other, and then both of them in the same room. I think that would be so cool. I don’t know that I have any better answers than some trained folks, but why can’t I do it? I could just be a moderator. I wouldn’t charge as much. I would be like a discount therapist. I wonder if there is a market for that.

This is a random memory that popped into my head. I remember when I worked at Earthlink that a dude I was collecting from actually threatened to come down and twist my nipples off. Sure does make corporation collections seem boring.

I went to a seminar once about phone etiquette. One of the things it pointed out was that people always say “ba bye” when they hang up the phone. It isn’t proper, but then again, it is pretty standard. I opted to try to stop saying “ba bye” on the phone. This was maybe 11 years ago? It is amazing how difficult it still is to not say it like that. I always say just bye or goodbye. You would think that it would stop feeling so foreign.

I have this twisted desire to go on chat roulette. I know that most of the people are probably pervs, but part of me wants to see the perv aspect. LOL! Maybe Ken and I need to mess around with it tomorrow night.

I was talking to my friend at work the other day about out kids and she asked me if I was going to have anymore. Of course, my answer is always the same. I want one more, but realistically it won’t happen. Plus, I pointed out that I am concerned about me (not anyone else mind you) being too old soon to have anymore. My friend is in her 40’s and her boys are 8 and 9. Her first kid is like 22. She told me that when she had her daughter at such a young age, it just wasn’t the same as having her boys later in life. She said that she actually enjoyed her kids more this time around since she is older. She also proceeded to tell me that she thinks that I am a good mom and that if anything, I would be great now, in 2 years, 5 years, or whenever I opted to get pregnant. She is an amazing mom, so I was quite flattered by her comments. But it did make me re-think the idea that I should not just decide to be done by some arbitrary number. I always said the magic number was 36. Why can’t I have a kid at 37? Or even 40? People do it a lot. I don’t necessarily want to be uber old when the kid grows up, but I will only be 60 when the kid is 20, which isn’t too bad. I still worry, but I certainly will no longer just assume that I can’t.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Way too chipper

3-24-10

Good morning! I am rockin my new dress this morning. I thought I would order something off of Old Navy’s web site. I am pleased with the results. I got this maxi dress (despite being super clumsy, I love maxi dresses) that is super comfy. I am still not sure on the pattern, but it isn’t atrocious or anything. It is a nice spring and summer dress. Let’s face it, in LA, it is a fine dress for any season. LOL! I just love that I am sitting at my desk with my dress covering my feet, which are currently bare. This is the way to be at work.

It appears that we are almost set up with our internal chat at work. I am looking forward to it for so many reasons. It will make getting in touch with certain people here so much easier. Then again, I wonder if those people will just not turn the system on. LOL!

Ok, one bad thing about maxi dress and work is a chair with wheels.

We managed to get the boys to bed super early. They were goofing off during dinner, so we told them they were done and we had them get ready for bed. It was a pretty spectacular melt down from both of them. We let them finish their dinner after they were in jammies, and they totally calmed down for this. Of course, they still laugh hysterically while watching The Upside Down Show. Man, that is a great show. The boys were asleep by 8 pm. This was AWESOME!

The Marriage Ref is kind of a lame show, unless the panel is made up of Larry David, Madonna and Ricky Gervais. Holy crap, that was a great hour of tv. I enjoyed the hell out of that.

I think Monarch is getting more clingy, if that is possible. He may be jealous of Luna. At night he always sleeps at my feet, but he keeps off to the side so as not to be kicked. The last few nights, he has curled up onto my feet, even allowing me my tossing and turning, and he has not attacked me. He even sleeps under the covers when I choose to cover my feet. He is still getting up when he hears the alarm and running to the bathroom to beat me there, but he is has been super affectionate in there. It cracks me up, really. Maybe he just feels bad about curling up with the boys recently and he thinks he is cheating on me.

The plan is Disneyland this evening to go on Space Mountain. I will not be able to wear my dress. I think it wise to not return to the place that I ate it hard on the pavement with clothing that promotes those accidents.

I found out that kindergarten registration is the second week of May. Yie! My baby is almost in school. I think that I need to make sure I have all my ducks in a row when it comes to the documentation I need for that. I assume copies of vaccination records and I know we need a utility bill. I would imagine a copy of the birth certificate.

OMG, people are idiots. There are actually large groups of people who are not going to fill out the census because they think the government will put them on some kind of big brother list. People, are you kidding me? It is designed to figure out our population. It only helps, not hurts.

Stop freaking out about the Health Care bill, too. I know it isn’t perfect. I know it isn’t ideal. But we don’t know what will happen. The folks who now say they are going to move out of the country and can’t raise their children here? Look, I know when I was 19, I joked that I was going to move to Canada and raise my kid there. I did that mostly because I thought it was funny. I had children when Bush was in office. I don’t like the war, the deficit or anything else that he gave us. I also didn’t like “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” which Clinton signed, and I loved me some Clinton. I liked Clinton for non politician reasons, though. LOL! Either way, democrats and republicans alike do stupid ass shit. It is what they do. Yet we as a country survive. I wish we would stop helping other countries as much as we do since right now we need to spend money on us, but it is what it is. I think we should legalize pot, but I don’t see it happening. I think that everyone should be allowed to marry, and if you want to keep marriage between a man and woman because of religion, then make all “marriages” legal unions in the eyes of the state. Stop letting illegal aliens stay here without paying some kind of taxes. I don’t care if you let them here under some kind of special visa or even tag their ears, just get something back from them since they are using our system. Deport Glenn Beck for yelling fire in a theatre. Close the borders! Make abortion legal. Stop the death penalty. Raise the taxes. Spend more on education than on military. Fill out your census. Vote. Oh, and wear sunscreen.

Please store your soap box in the up right and locked position. We will begin our descent momentarily. Thank you for flying Gena Air.

I came up with an idea for a Christmas tradition last night. Every year on Christmas, the boys, Ken and I will come up with a new theme for next year’s tree. So perhaps one year it will be Star Wars, so our tree will be covered in Star Wars style ornaments. Then the next year might be just a color, so we deck it out in color. Of course, when they are young, the themes will be pretty simple, but I am hoping that we can come up with some really fun ones each year. Then, during the course of the next year, we will keep an eye out for things for the tree so that we can make ornaments and be prepped for Christmas time. I always loved that my mom had all non matching ornaments on her tree, but I think I would get bored with the same color scheme or ornaments each year. This way, we can do something unique each year! I have to run it by the boys this week to come up with next year’s theme.

Doug and Elizabeth are coming for Easter, which rocks! So we will do eggs while they are there so we can enjoy the boys mad hunt. I think I am going with plastic eggs again since dogs cannot eat them. Although, I am sure Luna will try. LOL! Then I am thinking brunch. I am pretty sure I can make brunch myself, but who knows, maybe we should all go out somewhere. It will be crowded, but fun. Did I mention I am loving this older brother thing?

Ken said that I shouldn’t save the dimes Robbie gave me. He thinks that she would want me to spend them. This is probably true. I have decided that she is leaving me dimes because she is saying Happy 10th Anniversary.

My kids are going to need so much therapy because of me. Maybe instead of life insurance, they need some kind of psychiatric assistance fund.

I feel suddenly quite nauseas. I am thinking it is too much water all at once. Either that, or it is the gum. I am stopping both right now. I may need to go hit up the vending machine for some kind of crackers to settle me.

You know, I realize that I need to pick up some pregnancy sticks. No, not preggers or anything, but with the IUD, I don’t have periods anymore. So from time to time, I need to check. I have times where it is obviously a cycle, but with lack of definite sign, it is better to be safe than sorry. Either that or I end up on one of those discovery channel shows where I didn’t know I was pregnant for 8 months. LOL!

Damn, no crackers in the vending machine. They normally have Wheat Thins, but they only have crap. Oh well, hopefully I feel a little less icky shortly.

Ken isn’t down with the star tat on my neck. He determined that it would be too distracting if he is kissing my neck. I can tell you right now, that would be a problem in my eyes. So I am considering my foot. I don’t know for sure yet. I specifically liked the star on my base of my neck, and I am not sure I am as crazy about it elsewhere. Who knows, perhaps it just won’t happen.

Thank goodness for a busy morning! I have been working on a whole bunch of things all day which has made time go by at a brisk pace. Not fast enough, mind you, but I don’t feel like the day is dragging. In 10 minutes it will be noon which means my day is practically over. Woo Hoo!

We are going to a Kite Festival in April which should be fun. Stephanie pointed out that we need to go on the Trolley in Pedro, so we are hoping to take that to a shuttle pickup to the park. It will be a fun filled day!

I think this is my last weekend of down time before about 3 full months of action. Easter weekend is a birthday party and of course Easter. The following weekend is the kite festival. Then a couple weekends after that is our trip to the compound. I think I may need to rest this weekend to gear up. LOL!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Not a whole lot today

3-23-10

Thank goodness for a good night of sleep! I feel so much better this morning. Last night I was getting cranky and pissy because I was so exhausted. I am pretty sure I snipped at the children more than I needed to. Of course, they were being super frustrating by not just going to bed, but by coming out all the time. At one point, I watched Bobby on the monitor, heading towards the door. I cut him off before he could even come out and snipped for him to get back in bed. He then, with lip out and a little sniffle in his voice, proceeds to tell me that I was breaking his heart because I yelled at him. That kid is trouble. Thankfully a little hug and a tickle made everything right with him.

I have noticed more injuries related to my fall. My left arm and leg both are a little banged up. Not fun since it is my left knee that has issues still. It was a little chilly in the evening and I could feel my knee getting angry with me.

We did not go to Disneyland yesterday since I was exhausted and really, it was late when Ken got home. We are planning to go Wednesday night since Ken is home when I get home, which allows us to get the kids early and then head out by 3.

Even though I did get some good sleep, I feel myself very tired. I am sure it doesn’t help that work isn’t always stimulating. Oh well.

I think I have this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Restless_legs_syndrome

Restless Legs Syndrome. I have always had this to some degree, but I think it is worse recently. As I type this, my right leg is hopping up and down non stop. It was interesting to read that some anti depressants can add to it, along with things like sleep apnea. I am tempted to take some iron based on it being a possibility that I am lacking in it.

Ratticus is doing so well! She not only lets us scritch her, she has allowed us to pick her up and hold her without too much freaking out. She is turning out to be a sweet rat. I am so glad that she is going to have a nice life and not be eaten by a bird pecking at her through a trap.

We cut 10 inches off of Ken’s hair. 10 inches in the braid. It was getting unruly down at the bottom, and as Ken pointed out recently, when the tip about falls in the toilet when he is helping the boys, it is maybe a smidge too long. He is going to donate the braid to locks of love, just as I had done. He is feeling a little sad about the cut, though. It is a lot of hair for him and he took a long time to grow it. But I think over all it is better since it is going to feel healthier. It is easier to brush. But I feel for him. It is tough when you are accustomed to a certain length for so long. I still kind of miss that I can’t tie my hair up in a knot with just my hair.

Monday, March 22, 2010

A Whole Lotta Weekend

3-22-10


I am exhausted. My stomach is fighting with me this morning. I don’t know what is up. At around midnight, I woke up with horrible pains. I felt bloated, but it was only a tight feeling with no results. I was uncomfortable for a couple of hours. I was miserable. I was tired and dying and even though I eventually fell asleep, my gut still hurt and now I am just miserable. If I can make it through today, I will be impressed with me.

My weekend was good, which may be why I am so spent today. Saturday morning after lounging around for a while, got started after a trip to Target. I had plans on hitting up the grocery store as well, but we didn’t make it over there.

We headed over to Sabrina’s talent show. I was worried we were running late since I thought it started at 2. I guess doors opened at 2, but the actual show didn’t start until 3. Either way, we managed awesome parking and good seats.

The show was slightly chaotic. I kind of expected this based on Stephanie’s descriptions of rehearsals and other behind the scene stuff. Not that it was a huge deal, though. The kids were all super adorable.

On I think the first performance by individuals, this set of two sisters came up to sing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (I don’t understand why these kids would be encouraged to sing a Christmas song in March, but I suppose it doesn’t matter much). The older sister didn’t start singing, which sent the younger sister into a meltdown. Poor darlin broke down sobbing on stage. I was crying for her. The worst part was, they just left this girl there, crying her eyes out. I was pissed. It lasted for at least 30 seconds before someone finally came up to help her. What the hell?? I was tempted to go up. Her own parental unit didn’t even go up! Not cool.

Some of the kids were so freaking cute. I loved it. Both the boys enjoyed it, and they both told me separately that they wanted to be up on stage singing.

Sabrina got to be up on stage 3 times. Twice she sang with her Teddy Bear class. The other time, she sang Old MacDonald with this other little girl. When Sabrina was up in the second group performance, Bobby kept yelling out, “Hi Sabrina!”

We went down to the Cabrillo beach for a while after the show. We played around there for a bit, letting them get out the energy stored up from sitting for a couple of hours. It was gorgeous out and we had a good time just hanging out down there.

After the beach, we headed home to let the boys unwind. We also wanted them to get some sleep before Sunday. Ken and I were able to watch Up in the Air, which was a very good little movie. I enjoyed it quite a bit.

Saturday night was the first night in a few days in which we all slept well. I had planned on us getting up early, but with everyone sleeping past 7, I wasn’t about to be the one to wake everyone.

Our plan had been to be at Disneyland for when they opened the gates. We still got there only about 10 minutes after they opened, so not too bad and we got to sleep in.

We arrived at the security check point. They had only a couple of lines open, which sucked, especially when people like ourselves didn’t have any bags to check. To the left of the line was another check point that had some cast members at the ready, but when we started over there, they snipped at us all that they were not ready for people.

They opened that line 30 seconds later.

It was a mad rush to get over to the empty line. Ken and Bobby ran that direction. Dax and I started over that way. I don’t know what we tripped over but all I know is not only was Dax down, I was flat on my stomach, hands skinned on the rough pavement. I didn’t worry about my injuries. I crawled over towards my poor screaming Dax and held him while we sat on the ground recovering.
I know that I didn’t try to stop myself. I tried hard to keep Dax from falling. Thankfully, I think my efforts paid off since he only had a minor bruise compared to the injuries I sustained.

What was not shocking, but still sad at the same time, was that in this crowd, NO ONE stopped to help us. The only person who was there even before I got to Dax was one of the cast members. She was very sweet and not only checked us out, she walked us to the front of the check out and let us in ahead of the lines. Ken and Bobby had seen that we went down, but Ken saw the cast member helping us, so they stayed past the check point rather than navigate through the crowd backwards. They met us at the front after we got led up there.

I sat Dax down on a bench to check him out. He told me he was mostly spooked from the incident. Thank goodness. He had one small cut on his finger, but it was minor compared to what it could have been.

I, on the other hand, was pretty banged up. My hands were bruised and the right hand was bloody. My ankle, which had been feeling better, was sore. I was shaky and my whole body hurt from my belly flop on the ground.

We found out where first aid was so that we could get Dax a band aid and me cleaned up a bit. At the end of Main Street off to the right was not only a first aid station, it was like a little Urgent Care facility complete with register nurses. The guy who saw us was super nice and bandaged Dax up, who promptly said his finger felt better. He then cleaned my cut, which actually made me wince when he put the peroxide on. It is a pretty bad cut. He bandaged my hand and kept asking me if I needed pain killers. No joke, he asked me at least 3 times. On the third time, I agreed only to make him feel better. He also gave me an ice pack. It was really a nice service overall.

After the first aid, we headed over towards Tom Sawyer Island. We hit up the Jungle Cruise first. After that, we rounded the corner to see that there was no way we would end up on the island today. The whole river was drained! LOL! They were making repairs and just fixing up the island, river and shows that take place there. Oh well. So much for that plan.

Instead, we hit up rides like Pirates and the Haunted Mansion. It was a slow enough morning that we got on Splash Mountain with no wait. It was the boys first time on that. They loved it. Me, not so much, since I never liked drops like that, but I dealt with it for their sake.

We hit up Winnie the Pooh and then took the train to Tomorrow Land. We determined that Dax was now tall enough to do Space Mountain. Luckily, the line was pretty short. Ken got us fast passes for Buzz while we waited for Space Mountain.

Oh. My. God. I knew the kids would like Space Mountain. I had no idea they would LOVE it. Dax laughed hysterically the entire time. It was so funny! He was thrilled. I have never heard him so happy. In fact, when the ride stopped and it was time to get out, he refused. He wanted to go again right then and there. He burst into tears, he didn’t want to get off!! Bobby was also excited about the ride, totally thrilled with it. As Dax screamed, many of the people around us were laughing that this little kid was upset not because he was scared, but because he loved it so much.

We had some down time after that and we watched Captain EO. Holy crap you can tell that was done in the 80’s. LOL! The boys liked that, too. Dax was a little spooked at the bad chick, but then when they started singing and dancing, he felt much better about all of it.

After Buzz, we left the park briefly to go across the street to McDonalds for lunch. Way better idea for food. We didn’t pay the $45 it would have cost to feed us in the park. Plus, it allowed us to sit down in some air conditioning and just relax for a bit. And really, the hike isn’t too bad to get there.

On the way back in the park, we knew we only were going to be there for a little while. The crowd had increased significantly and the boys were running out of steam. We went into California Adventure with the plan to go on the soaring over America ride. The line was 45 minutes, and it was not a constantly moving line, so we knew the boys would not last. Even Monsters Inc had a half an hour wait, so we determined we had run out of time. We did end up seeing the Muppet 3D show, which Dax did much better with this time. I enjoyed watching Bobby stick his foot up at the 3D image coming at him. That cracked me up more than the show!

Dax crashed out on the way home, but Bobby stayed awake which surprised me. When we got home, we had them watch a movie so they could vege, but they were restless. We tried to send them outside, but they were not only restless, they were cranky.

It was earlier than what time we would normally wash them, but decided to bath them so that we could hopefully get them to bed a little early. Of course, this didn’t happen.

I was dead on my feet last night. I made dinner, but I was spent after that. When I get home I am tempted to try to nap.

Bobby says to me on Saturday that he knows Ken and I are married. He said he knows it is because we love each other. He then says that he wishes he could marry Dax so that it would mean Daddy and I were married and then he and Dax would be so we would be lots of married. He is too cute.

More trips in my future. We are going to Colorado Springs to see Daniel graduate from high school. That is us leaving on Friday morning for the graduation which is that afternoon. Here is where I am torn.

On Saturday morning, Ken and the boys would fly home. I can, if I so choose, stay there and fly to Ohio with Papa Brenan, Holly and Andy. I would be with them from Saturday, coming home Tuesday. What is in Ohio, you might be asking? Well, we would actually be cemetery hopping. No joke. Holly is our genealogist in the family. She has the family history all mapped out and knows all the lineage. This trip is to find some Brenans in the Ohio cemeteries.

Let’s map out why I am torn. Look, cemetery hopping sounds awesome. There is always interesting stuff to see in a cemetery. Most of the time I don’t have the time to look at local ones, and these are probably really cool old ones. This is a point for trip.

In a point for and against, I will be away from Ken and the kids for 2 full days. It is for since how often do I get away from all of it. But in reality, I don’t want to be away from them for that long. I worry that they will all manage without me. I don’t know that I will manage without them.

Ken is my grounding point. When I am having stress or panic or anything like that, he is the one who can calm me down. As much as I adore my in-laws, they are not Ken. I worry that my shyness will kick into high gear and I will feel all wrong around them. Just hanging out with Andy will probably help since I feel very comfortable around him, but it will still be odd.

The reason I am going to this is because I am the photographer of the family. I will be able to document all of this really well. Plus, between Ken and I, really, I will get more out of the land of dead people. I know that Ken was invited since how often do the siblings get to go out together. I kind of would like Ken to be able to do that, even though it isn’t his ideal setting.

I was a little worried about taking off that much time from work, but it should be fine. It is only 3 days. I won’t need any more time off between that trip and Christmas that I am aware of aside just from Bobby’s first day of school. So I will be ok when you get right down to it.

Ken is really pushing for me to do this trip. He knows even though I am nervous, that ultimately I will enjoy myself. He is probably right. But it is a lot of anxiety leading up to it. Do I suck it up and do it? Or do I chicken out?

I watched Temple Grandin last week, and she also was nervous about things. She pictured all of these situations as doors, and that you are just walking through a door, a door to your future. When you look at it in simplistic ways, it is easier to walk through. Maybe I should just walk through this door?

I have to make a decision very soon. I took steps to look up on Find A Grave to see if there were any interesting plots to look forward to. I am also planning on emailing my Find a Death guy to see if he knows of any interesting points of interest there. I am excited about a lot of these sort of things, but worry that it will not be anything like I am thinking. Man, I wish I wasn’t such a wuss.

In other exciting news, we determined that Bobby will be done at Maria’s in May. He is old enough to attend Camp VIP this summer. It is a 4 week program that Ken does Lego classes at. Bobby would be able to do Lego, or any of the other classes that the pre-kindergarten students have offered. We told him about it, and he liked the idea. It means that Ken would take him to school with him and Bobby would do his classes, then go hang out with Ken in the afternoon during the afternoon session of Lego. It will save us $150 a week for him, which is all kinds of good. And after this camp, Bobby will end up just hanging out with Ken until school starts in September. I worry a little that he will miss out on a couple of more learning things at Maria’s, but he is doing so well, it will actually be better for him to be in classes with other kids. It will teach him to follow instructions from new teachers, and he will get other kids around him, which will be good practice.

I am quite proud that I have not only taught the boys my phone number, but now they have our address memorized. Thank goodness for repetitive singing of the number and street. It is an amazing tool.

I read through some of the key points of the new health care bill. Is it wrong that I don’t understand why people are so dead set against it? I worry that most people are against it only because it is a party situation. Don’t get me wrong, I would have preferred all of this money and time spent on re-vamping things like our schools. But really, I understand why we need health care reform. There might be better ways to have done all this, but maybe we need to give it a chance before we freak out.

I am feeling significantly better now that the day has progressed. I am still tired, but I have grown rather accustomed to being tired. LOL!

The day, although moving forward, has turned into boring. I have been working pretty steadily on various items.

I am bummed that it seems that the red in my hair is already fading. I wonder what kind of time and cost is involved with touch ups. I opted to not blow dry my hair this morning, allowing the hair to be free from styling. I am not entirely sure it is something I can pull off. It seems like a very messy shag. I might be able to do this if I at least dry the bangs.

I had strange dreams last night when I did sleep. I remember sitting around in this cool old house with a couple of people from my past. Jason was there, as was Aaron. Greg was too. I was talking with them about kids in general. It was interesting. They told me (I say they since I am unsure which one actually said it) that I used to be so mean and angry in high school. They were impressed with my softer side. I found this interesting. I didn’t realize that I had been so awful. Of course, this was all in my head, so clearly, I did think this, but in my dream for some reason I was surprised. I think the house belonged to Aaron, and he was moving out. I remember wandering the house, looking at old stuff, feeling very nostalgic, despite the fact that none of the things really existed outside the dream. There were photos and trinkets and things that all in the dream were real, but when I think about them now, they were not.

I also remember my friend Jeff being in part of the dream, and he had come out in high school instead of later in life. I was so pleased because he became “my gay” and it was a cool dynamic. Really, all of the guys in the dream were strange to have there, especially considering they are not folks I talk to on a regular basis.

I have to say, my dreams have been far more interesting since the Effexor. I have noticed gobs of changes since the meds. I feel over all much more calm. I suppose all of that could be in my head, but I have been in situations in which I would have been more annoyed or stressed, and I was shockingly sedate. I wonder if I come across as more spacey. I wonder if anyone notices the effects aside from me. I suppose if I wasn’t projecting a lot of the stress, why would anyone notice?

It was three years ago yesterday that Pixel died. Which means that 3 years ago this coming Sunday, Robbie died. My mom has said that when she finds change on the ground it is from Robbie. In the last week or so, I keep finding dimes. Random dimes. I even have them set aside, afraid to spend them since I think they are from her. I know, lame, but whatcha gonna do? I miss her. Her and Pixel. Where does the time go? How has it been that long? Robbie got diagnosed not long after Dax was born. He couldn’t have been more than 6 weeks. I was still on maternity leave. She didn’t last more than 7 months. It went too quick.

Well, this is cool news. The weekend that I would be going to Ohio is Memorial Day weekend. So if I go, it means one less day off that is vacation pay. This might actually work better. I am still sure I will miss my boys, but it is probably good for me to be away from them for a couple days. If not just for me, for them! All three of them will appreciate me even more! Of course, my big fear is they won’t even notice. Either way, I should go.

Friday, March 19, 2010

karma

3-19-10

It is after 7 and this is the first time this morning that I have really sat down at my computer.

I got into work and realized that 3 people were in a seminar this morning. Awesome. Then, another coworker is here early, so she and I ended up talking for a while since we had the freedom to do so with no one else here. Then I had to take my computer from home to the IT guy so they could set me up with the away from work access. So it has been a busy morning that wasn’t really busy. LOL!

Ok, I just heard the description on Repo Man on the radio. Holy hell, that sounds awesome. Body organs that are repossessed when you can’t keep up with payments? Come on!! That rules!

My day is going to be long. I don’t have much in the way of work to tend to this morning. I am not going to my folks this afternoon since they are out of town this weekend. I think that we will go to dinner with the boys some place. Maybe just McDonalds so they can run and we can vege out. Then again, maybe we will just pick something up so we can be at home. I want to watch a movie tonight, so I don’t want to be all exhausted so that I don’t feel up to it.

Bobby finally decided I suck. Yesterday when we got home from daycare, he asks me if he could play the Wii. I told him no and as he is walking off to his room, he mumbles, “Mom you’re stupid.” I told him to come back and tell me what he said. He must have known he screwed up, but at the same time, I was impressed that he held his ground. He tells me, “I want a new mom.” I knew this day would come, but honestly, I thought it would hurt more. In fact, I found it amusing. So I told him, very calmly, to go to his room. He didn’t fight me on this. I was shocked. He closed his door and at this point Dax exercised the “fuck up, suck up” rule. This simply meaning, when one brother fucks up, the other does his best to suck up to mommy. Dax, in his cutest voice ever, says to me, “Mommy, you know what?” “What, sweetie?” “I love you!” Seriously, too funny!

Dax went outside to play, so I went into Bobby’s room all calm. I knew he didn’t really want a new mom. I knew he didn’t hate me. I knew he was frustrated. What I did need to explain to him was that his words can be hurtful. I pointed out that when he does stuff wrong, I don’t say I need a new kid. He didn’t seem to care. In fact, at one point I asked him if he cared that he hurt my feelings. He said he did not.

I know that he was just testing the waters. So I decided to play Wii with Dax. Dax and I played and I told Bobby he could not play at all. He was pretty upset. I explained that since he didn’t care about my feelings, I didn’t need to let him play anything. He then asks me, “Are your feelings going to be hurt forever?” He wasn’t upset in the idea of sad so much as frustrated. LOL! Silly kid.

After Ken got home and there was some more talk, Bobby did end up apologizing. I didn’t prompt him on what to say, either. He actually said he was sorry and that I was his favorite mom and that he didn’t want anyone else. I went ahead and let him play some Wii for 10 minutes. It is fun being a mom! Truly, it is cool to be able to teach lessons and feelings. Frustrating at times, but last night was really entertaining.

I ended up chatting with an old friend last night which turned into a phone call. I ended up saying good night to the boys afterwards since I was on the phone during normal story time. Luckily, both kids were super sweet when I came in and didn’t give me shit for not being there earlier.

Tomorrow we are going to Sabrina’s talent show for her preschool. I think it will be a lot of fun. It is from 2 to 5. We need to do some grocery shopping this weekend along with some general chores. I think Sunday we are going to hit up Disneyland, which will be a good weekend all around.

I just got done working on a project. Always cool to have something like that on a Friday simply because it makes the time go by quickly. The project was split up between 4 people so I did mine and the other girl here’s part. I figure it took me like 15 minutes, where it would have taken her all day. She was quite grateful.

Perhaps Karma does exist. My coworker here that I am fond of and one I always help out with things told me today that she has some money coming her way for something. I don’t know what it is from or for even how much. All I know is she told me she is giving me some of it! Wow! She told me she knows how hard I work on everything and appreciates that I have always helped her out over the years. She wanted to do something nice for me. How crazy is that??? I am quite grateful just because hell, someone giving me $20 is nice, right?

On top of that, she is talking about retiring in the next couple months. Part of her retirement, she is hoping to convince the boss to bring back Tammy to take her place when she leaves. Do you know how happy I would be???? Tammy would be thrilled, too. Of course, we don’t know if any of this could happen or when, but just the idea of it has me all kinds of pleased.

I am walking around without my ace bandage today. I am pleased to report that even after doing some more aerobic based Wii last night, I don’t hurt much. It is a little tender, and in reality, I should probably be wearing it. But since I am sitting all day, I figure I will be ok. I know I will wear it on Sunday.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

rockin day

3-18-10

What a truly fantastic day!

I got to sleep in a smidge which is always a good thing. I helped get my boys ready for their day, making sure they each had green so they would avoid pinching. Ken was able to get out to his class without having to worry about the kids. I then walked them over to Maria’s and both were chipper and didn’t cry at all. It was cool!

I met up with Stephanie at 9 at the King’s Hawaiian restaurant for breakfast. I have decided I really like that place. I have only been twice, but both times I was pleasantly surprised with the food. My French Toast could have been cooked a little longer, but it was still yummy.

Stephanie and I don’t get to visit much in real life sans kids, so what a nice treat to have a couple of hours of chit chat. I am pretty sure we had the waitress convinced that we were heading out for a day of partying, which was extremely strange being that I don’t know where she got this idea. It was still entertaining!

We left my car and headed over together to the dermatologist appt. Did you know there was a hospital in Gardena? I certainly did not. It looked straight out of a 70’s show. It was kind of cool.

The doctor’s office was in the medical building next door. We were in Stephanie’s giant truck which apparently is bigger than all vehicles that tend to travel in Gardena since their parking structures did not cater to anything bigger than a Jetta. We exited the structure and headed back down Redondo Beach Blvd to possibly use the parking lot for the hospital. Stephanie almost turned onto the sidewalk instead of the driveway. It was hysterical, mostly because I was shocked at how calm I was. I think that it occurred to me that since we were in a big truck that perhaps this was ok. LOL! We both were having way too much fun with all of the parking adventures and ended up parking over at the Church’s chicken.

The appt was quick! The cool doc told her that really, cutting it out would produce more scar tissue. So instead, he suggested a shot of cortisone in order to hopefully shrink it. You would think that would hurt like hell, but this guy rocked. She didn’t even feel the shot! So cool! Stephanie took full advantage of being in a dermatologist’s office and was able to ask a handful of questions on other items. He was so cool about it! For such a run down looking place, he was truly a good doc. I was impressed!

She took me back to my car and I headed home. When I got there, I helped Ken reproduce a listing of our financial responsibilities. Ken was heading over to a meeting with a finance guy to discuss our 5 year plan on everything from getting out of debt to getting a new house. It turned out to be an excellent meeting, which gave us a lot of good advice and plans on what we needed to accomplish. I am feeling pretty positive about all of it!

After Ken headed out, I was able to just chill. It was too hot to do much else! I finished my movie, Temple Grandin, which was truly a remarkable story. I also got to watch 90210. YAY!

I got the boys and Dax suggested we play in the pool again. I was more than happy to make this happen. The boys stripped down to their skivvies (I am quite pleased that they are now familiar with this word) and the boys and Luna enjoyed me hosing them off and playing water fun. Lycos, of course, stood all nervous on the back porch. My poor wussy pup.

The funniest thing they were doing came kind of on accident. Dax was all pleased with himself when he was leaving foot prints from his wet feet on one of the lawn chairs. I pointed out that he could do those prints on the wall. I then pointed out that he could do also do butt prints. Both boys found this endlessly amusing. They would sit in the pool, then run to the wall, press up against it, then step away, laughing at their butt print. I am so proud.

We had a nice mellow evening and I even got to bed at a reasonable hour. Of course, this was not before we tired out the dog.

The last two nights, we have been having fun with Luna. Turns out, she likes the laser even more than the cats. Nothing better than a pup chasing a little red dot. At first, we just did it in the living room. Then the kitchen. At one point, we got her spinning in circles so much, she actually fell over. We then took it outside. Pup plus laser equals magic. She ran all over the yard to the point where when we were done, she was exhausted. She inhaled gobs of water and then collapsed into a pile. She was so happy! It was awesome! We may end up doing this more since she is getting her exercise, and seems to really have a good time. If only Lycos was interested!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Short but sweet

3-16-10

I am in gobs of pain right now. I seem to have scratched my left eye. It was irritated last night and when I woke up this morning it hurt like something was in there. It is swollen a little and watery and just hurts. I don’t think I need to go to the doc since I am pretty sure it is a scratch and it isn’t getting worse. It just hurts and I am sure it will all day. I must be falling apart what with my bum ankle and now my eyeball. Time to trade me in for a newer model.

It was crazy hot yesterday so after I picked up the boys, I had them change into play clothes and filled up the little pool a bit in the yard. Bobby especially loved this, running across the yard and jumping into it. Ken got home and promptly jumped into the pool and splashed everyone. Bobby and Luna loved the hell out of this. It was a good afternoon.

I did some yoga yesterday, seeing how much and which exercises I could accomplish with my ankle. There were a handful that didn’t hurt. There were some that really hurt, which resulted in my ankle hurting pretty badly afterwards. Today I will focus on the ones that I know didn’t hurt.

I get to sleep in a bit tomorrow! Yay!!!! I am going with Stephanie to her boob appt. I really hope they let me be in there. I would imagine it would be ok since there aren’t things like radiation or anything to worry about. Our plan is breakfast in Torrance around 9 am and then over to the appt in Gardena which is at 11:15.

I am disappointed in myself. Here I am, a Brenan, and I don’t think I own any green! With tomorrow being St Patty’s day, I probably should make a point of changing that. I may need to stop by the mall on the way home from my folk’s tonight. I think tomorrow I need to make green food for dinner. Green pancakes? Green soup? Green Eggs? I think Bobby will get into it, but Dax may question it. He has a fabulous imagination, but sometimes he is a bit skeptical of my crazy. Probably a good thing since I am sure if both the kids were as crazy as I am, we would get into a lot of trouble together.

I have found myself being a bit more lax with Luna than I ever was with Lycos. Even Lycos is now getting to do things we didn’t let her do in the beginning. They have always been basket dogs, but I am leaning towards letting them be house wandering dogs. As long as they don’t get into stuff, we are fine, which is what we are training on now. The dogs both like (ok, I really like it, too) to sit at my feet or next to my chair when we watch tv. To me, that is so awesome to have my critters chilling with me, so I may need to just be sure to put things away better. Plus, I can tell you with dogs roaming the living room, the floor has never been cleaner. LOL!

Monday, March 15, 2010

what a great weekend

3-15-10

I have never written a journal while asleep, so this should be interesting.

I am so tired because I had a great weekend. I really need about a day to recover.

On Friday night I was planning on watching a movie, but I was so spent from the work day that after we went out to dinner, I just wanted to crash. Plus, my plan to go to yard sales in the mornings meant that I should probably try to get some sleep.

We headed out by about 6:30 to hit up 3 different sales I found in the Penny Saver. The first one listed was for Lyme Disease. I assumed we would come up to a giant sale that was for Lyme Disease research. Not exactly. It was a woman’s house and she was raising money to pay for her son, who has had Lyme Disease for 17 years and who is now in a hyperbaric chamber. She quickly started telling me the story, showing me pictures of her son in the chamber. I felt bad for her. She told me insurance wouldn’t cover so much of the cost, including the oxygen he uses daily. It costs her like $150 a day. It doesn’t sound good for him, that is for sure.

We ended up finding at that sale a lot of good stuff, though. A couple of awesome shirts and pants, which is really what we were looking for. The kids really need new pants, and why spent $10 on one pair when we can get a pair slightly used for $.25? The clothing looked mostly like it used to belong to her son, who was a soccer playing skateboarder. Many of the clothes had skulls and fire, both of which were happy making for me and the boys.

We headed out and ended up hitting up all sales we saw. We came across every kind of sale, too. There were the ones that were clearly just trying to move stuff. These are the ones where you dig through a pile and everything is a quarter. Then, there were the money makers. These were the guys who had some amazing stuff, but I can guarantee you, it wasn’t worth the price they were selling it for. This one guy had this singing Mr Salt and Mrs. Pepper figure. It was super cute and Bobby and I liked it. The problem was, it was clearly used, not in the best condition, and he was actually selling it for $10! Holy crap! These are the sales that bug me. Especially when you find interesting stuff, but it so is not interesting enough to pay that much. One guy had a book that was probably 40 years old that was a guide on how to chose a faith for retarded people. No joke. It was AWESOME. I so wanted it. But based on his other pricing, this book was $20! Not going to happen.

We came across a great sale at Anza school. It was a fund raiser, so they had gobs of stuff, plus, they were not trying to over price anything. They wanted people to walk out with something, and hopefully tell them to keep the change as a donation. The lady in charge of getting people pumped up was awesome. I loved the whole atmosphere there. We found several things there, which was great. We also found a church sale where Bobby found a little toy skeleton. I am telling you, that kid was so excited! Needless to say, the skeleton now resides in our home.

We had a plan as we scoured the city for sales. We would pull up, Ken would jump out to look and the boys and I would circle around the block since there was no parking. If the sale was worth while, we would get out. If not, Ken could jump back in the car and off we went. It became easy enough, too, that Ken would ask folks if they had kids’ clothing. He would then ask follow ups of what age and if it was girls or boys. I am telling you, based on the sales we came across, our boys are going to have lots of girls to choose from when they get older. Holy crap, the only clothing out there seemed to be girls who were around the boys’ ages.

By about 10:30, we had spent maybe $40, and came home with about a dozen pair of pants, a half dozen shirts, a couple of cheesy toys the boys found, a new cage for Ratticus, a new lava lamp, and a couple of books. Way good haul if you ask me.

As we were pulling into our neighborhood, we came across one last sale which was on the block behind our house. Ken went to check it out and discovered they were moving to Hawaii. They had a super large, nice television that they were getting rid of. It cost $200, and was normally a $700 tv, so Ken picked that up. This meant a whole lot of organization in our house. We would need to remove the one in the living room, including the shelving around it since this would take the place of both. We then put the old tv in our bedroom and moved the small one from there to be the new monitor for Bobby’s room, removing that large one. So yes, we moved several tv’s on Saturday. The good news was it forces you to reorganize other things, too. The results by Sunday evening was a nice looking living room complete with large television. Our bedroom is super nice and cozy now since adding the new tv. In addition to all this moving stuff, we managed to get the boys’ bedrooms cleaned up and some other clutter. I was quite pleased.

Saturday afternoon I took the boys to my folks and left them in their care so that we could head out to the Glee evening. I went back to the house to get Ken who was supposed to be ready when I got there. Instead, he was working with Dish Network to set up one of the tvs. I was not happy. He had not even taken a shower yet. Thankfully, the set up didn’t take too much longer and we managed to walk out of the house by 5.

I was a little spooked what with there being some traffic and the fact that we needed to be there by 6. I was really testing the Effexor. When we got there, there was a line around the block. Crap! We parked and went to Will Call. I got the tickets and as we were walking to the end of the line, the line was moving forward. It moved at a quick pace and we were inside before you knew it. Thankfully, most of the people seemed to have tickets for the front, which meant the section we had seats for was not too full. We got some pretty good seats, and even managed to have the seats on either end of us be empty so it was nice and comfy.

The show was AWESOME! We got to see the director’s cut of the episode that has not aired yet. I am telling you, I was so sucked into the episode, I forgot where I was. After the episode, the cast (less Leah Michelle) was all there, along with the creator, Ryan Murphy. He is wonderful. Kind of John Malkovich like dude who was super fab gay with his awesome sparkly red pointy shoes. He was so fun to listen to. The two other writers were there, both who were super funny. They talked about censors and different things they would like Sue Sylvester (played by the wonderful Jane Lynch) to have said. The best one was at one point she tells a person with their mouth open in shock to shut it before she rapes it. OMG, I was dying. Too freaking funny all around.

They talked about the music, upcoming plots and just the whole process. I am telling you, it was so interesting and fun and great. At around 9:10, I happened to look at my watch. I was excited since I was sure that they would probably go another 50 minutes or so. Sadly, within about 3 minutes of my watch check, they ended up wrapping it up rather suddenly. I think they were actually running too long. My guess was that the event was actually supposed to be the hour long episode, and then an hour of Q&A with the moderator and audience questions. It was now 15 minutes over this. I was shocked at the short length, especially since they told us that this was the biggest crowd they had ever had in the 27 years of doing these events. Not that I am complaining, though. The 2 hours I got were wonderful.

Since Ken and I don’t go out much, and it was still kind of early, we walked down the street to the Stinking Rose for dinner. We had a positively yummy dinner and enjoyed the time that was kid free. I had these yummy raviolis and we had the cool roasted garlic you can spread of the fresh rolls. Holy crap, I ate too much, but it was so freaking good.

It was technically later than it was. We of course end up going out the one night that is Daylight Saving Time. D’oh! So even though we got home at 11, it was really midnight.

Even though we had no kids to get ready in the morning, I still had to gather toys and get milk and do all the kid stuff in order to meet the boys at bowling. We were both dragging hard. My ankle was unhappy with me, being that I walked a bit more than I probably should of the evening before. I just didn’t bowl, which was fine. I got to play with the boys who were so freaking excited to see us. Makes you appreciate a night out even more, really since you know that the fun out has a good ending too when you get back to the kids.

After bowling we headed home to finish the projects started the day before. It was a day of cleaning, playing and just hanging out. I had hoped the boys would nap good (Dax did) since they had such an unusual night and also got up early. Bobby just wasn’t going to sleep, so unfortunately, neither did Ken or myself.

The most frustrating part of the day, though, was that my soup failed. I was making a giant batch of chicken noodle soup. I crock potted the chicken, I got 2 dozen eggs ready to make lots of noodles and was ready. I thought that I would be smart in keeping the pot of soup near the noodles so they were off the heat and that way as I added noodles, the one already in there wouldn’t burn on the bottom of the pan. Great idea in theory, except I found out that the heat needs to be on in order to cook the noodles. Sure, it was hot, but not hot enough. I had not realized that the boiling soup is actually what is needed to flash cook the egg noodles so that they would not disintegrate, which is what happened when I did it the way I did it yesterday. I ended up with a flour soup, which was nasty. I was so upset. I wasted a whole batch. We were able to salvage the chicken so that I may be able to re cook it later, but I just didn’t feel like spending more time on the soup yesterday. We ended up ordering Chinese food.

Other than that, though, the evening was nice. We went to be sort of early, but were able to watch Modern Family before hand, which seriously, people, you need to be watching.

I am shocked I am up this morning. The alarm didn’t go off, so I don’t know how I managed to wake up. I woke up about 10 minutes late, but that wasn’t too bad really. I still had plenty of time, so it was all good.

I suppose I should do some work in order to wake up. I have a relatively mellow week ahead of me. On Wednesday, I am not at work since I get to spend the day with Stephanie. Sure, part of the day includes a doc scooping out a little chunk of her boob, but hopefully we can have a good time. I am just hoping that I can keep her cheery through the procedure, although I know she is already so relieved that it isn’t anything serious. I am so right there with her!

On Saturday is Sabrina’s talent show, which I am really looking forward to. It is the start of I am sure many assemblies, Christmas shows and other concerts I get to go see with kids performing. When I told Dax about it, he was quite happy to be able to see Sabrina.

Hopefully the morning doesn’t drag!