Bounce, Bounce, Bounce

6-29-12


A whole day where I can work on the house? Yes please!

Tomorrow Ken may be going over to Pacific to get set up for the first day of Camp VIP on Monday. I am happy since realistically, he will take the boys. This leaves me to my own devices. YAY! My house will sparkle by the time they arrive home.

Yesterday afternoon we went and saw Brave. So amazingly good. I don’t know why I would be surprised since Pixar usually hits it out of the park. I was pleased that even Dax, who is notorious for not sitting still through a movie, was mesmerized.

Dinner was fun, too, since we had FFY night. For those of you who are not Brenans, this would be Fend For Yourself. Dax made his own chicken nuggets with some help and Ken showed Bobby how to grill his own burger. It was pretty cool!

Today the boss is out which means I get a full 45 minute walk. I am going to be able to disappear for much longer and my plan is to watch a full episode this morning. YAY!

I was able to rock my hair this morning. Woo!

I am itching to work on the house. I am anxious for morning. Ken is going to the school today as per the text I just got, so I wonder if this means he will be still in the house tomorrow. I will banish him to the outside to prep a spot for the shed and use him when I need shelving. I have to prep the playroom, also for Daniel’s arrival. I think he comes in a week or so.

Too much energy!!

Pledge

6-28-12

Is the Pledge of Allegiance something we should force on kids?

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands,
one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all

We are a nation filled with many people. These are people that as a whole would hopefully be happy
that they reside in this country that provides them with opportunity and resources that are not always
available in other countries.

One of those opportunities is the ability to believe in whatever deity, way of life or even obscure cult
film principles that are out there. We can be Catholic, Christian, Jewish, Atheist, or even Whovian. These
can include a god or the absence of one. We can fly a flag of any country of origin on our porch. We can
openly slam our government and work towards changes. We are not bound to the US as our only means
of livelihood.

I saw a cartoon this morning depicting a child refusing to stand for the Pledge of Allegiance in class.

I was appalled.

I will be the first person to tell you that I wish nothing but the best for our troops who fight and die for
our country. I especially understand that before I was born, there were wars that truly were fought as

a way to keep our country from being taken over by another land. They were not wars in which there
was questionable involvement and many young soldiers were killed despite being sent overseas without
any say in their fate. We had a draft that separated boys from families and fitted them in uniforms that
would not only be their clothing for the next 2 to 4 years, but often would be the last thing they would
ever wear since they might be sent home in that uniform while both were packed away in a pine box.

The cartoon doesn’t show a man in his 70’s. It shows a man in his maybe late 40’s or early 50’s. Also,
based on his hair cut, he is still a military man. He isn’t some guy who was drafted into submission. He is
regular army and is proud to be someone in that position. He has made a choice. Shouldn’t the kid in the
picture have the same luxury of said choice?

A guilt laden image showing kids that they are somehow disrespecting their country and the military
personnel that work for it is downright irresponsible.

How do we know if this guy didn’t join the military simply to pay for college? How do we know he wasn’t
a guy that joined because his dad made him join because he kept getting into trouble at school? How
do we know that he didn’t join because his girlfriend left him? We don’t know the reasons he joined.
We can’t infer that this is a man of excellent character simply because he lost the use of his legs while
serving in the military.

I am a firm believer in showing kids real examples of people who make a difference. I don’t shy away
from something that might be considered too shocking for a young person. I took my 5 and 7 year old to
a viewing of our recently deceased neighbor. They hardly remembered her, yet they were inches away
from her casket that contained her peaceful body. They were told quite matter of fact that their uncle
shot himself after a long battle with bi-polar disorder. They know that people are not always good, and
they know that bad things happen to the wrong people at times. They know the world can provide some
wondrous things, and some cruel tricks.

I would never put a wounded soldier in front of them and guilt them into reciting words they don’t
fully understand. I haven’t even touched on the fact that the pledge itself is inconclusive based on it
neglecting those of us Americans that don’t believe in God. It is a pledge that we require students to
recite even if they are not legal citizens. It is a pledge that is stated to a flag that no longer is a symbol
simply of a strong country. How often have you seen its image draped on the back of a couch in the
form of a comforter or perhaps emblazoned on a tank top? Maybe this is a way people show pride, but
the pride is muddled and diluted to a point where it is hard to get on board with its message.

Patriotism is a wonderful thing. I also think it has its place. A child refusing to stand and rattle off 31
words doesn’t make them a bad citizen. If anything, it makes them an even better one for exercising the
very freedom that this teacher is trying to use as a reason to stand.

I pledge allegiance to my life that is lucky enough to take place in America. And to my elders, I thank
you for your sacrifices when we demanded so much of you. And to my children, may we never put you
through that again and continue to work towards a peaceful and open-minded nation.

It is fun being this awesome

6-28-12


Never judge a day by its morning.

When I wrote yesterday I was sure the day would be shit. I was prepared to secure a large rock in which I could crawl under and hide from all of humanity. Thankfully, the bad stuff was already out of the way and things were looking up.

I walked over to the other building where my meeting was scheduled with VP of HR and the guy who is second in command of HR. I was terrified. I was sure I had officially gone too far this time. It didn’t help that the boss had come in and for whatever reason I didn’t end up seeing him. He normally says hello to everyone. Of course, I might have been in the restroom, but an overactive imagination has him already in the meeting and the three of them were ready to hand me my walking papers.

The good news was when I arrived, VP was still in a meeting. This allowed me to breathe for a second. While I stood outside his office, I was greeted by none other than the CEO. He and I ended up chit chatting about bikes and weight loss. He is apparently my biggest fan at work in terms of diet success. It felt good to be known by someone so high up, and for him to truly seem happy to see me. It put me at ease for when VP called me in.

While we waited for other HR dude, he and I ended up chatting about Chinese zodiac and about how superstitious his wife is. It was quite nice, and he and I laughed quite a bit. My nerves were having spasms with the positive energy he was giving and the negative I was expecting to find.

HR guy got there and I of course used my patented ice breaker in the form of asking outright if I am fired. They laughed. A lot! I took this as a good sign.

The meeting was not a disciplinary action. It was more of a pow wow. We talked about the dress code. We discussed managers and their lack of ability to handle the personnel side of managing. We discussed ideas and the future of MQ. It was awesome! VP even told me outright that he loved my blog and needed my help. He wanted more employees like myself who were willing to speak up not to just bitch, but to make a difference. I was quite flattered.

The halter top conversation came up. He ratted himself out as the one who actually started this whole thing. Apparently some random day recently I was wearing jeans. He approached HR guy to see if this was ok in the policy. At this time, HR guy went to Boss Man to let him know that employees should not wear jeans except for on Fridays. Boss Man tried to get more information, including perhaps a better list of do’s and don’ts, and an example of halter tops was brought up. The game of telephone was in effect and I got to hear the finished product indicating that somehow I was running around in jeans and a halter top. Neat.

This was a great segway into what was in fact the rules regarding jeans. I pointed out that nowhere in the policy did it state no jeans. I also schooled the two of them in what the old policy was, years before they started at the company. I told them that when this newer policy came out, it was a victory to many of us since it meant that jeans were no longer off the table. I also went on to explain how we don’t see customers and overall, we all dress nicely, even when rocking a pair of Levis. They agreed, and even though they didn’t say any amendments would be made, they saw my point. Still, they wanted the jeans issue to still be a Friday thing. I told them that they should poll some employees on this since really, it was a mistake. The issue was not over, and they appreciated my input quite a bit.

I felt very happy to be listened to, and respected. It was strange, especially since when I started with this company, I was making the same noise, and mostly I was ignored and more often than not, punished for my passion. Now, with this newer upper management, I feel like a valuable member of the team. VP guy had even heard about my Excel abilities (which I still maintain are over hyped around here) and explained how he had mad respect for my abilities as an employee. It is nice that people know my name, and pronounce it correct to boot!

HR guy ended up walking with me a bit as I went back to my desk, and he agreed more with me in terms of the idea of needing a more concrete code. Sadly, VP is more in favor of leaving it up to each department. Although, I understand his point. This allows more flexibility, and ultimately, it doesn’t pigeonhole anyone into a uniform. It also allows me a shit ton of wiggle room.

I then pointed out that no one has said anything about my Tonks hair. He laughed and said that that doesn’t have any bearing on the code and that this is a personal preference. I still find this interesting since truly, couldn’t you make the argument that pink hair less professional than a pair of blue jeans and a nice top? But I suppose this is what makes this all so entertaining. I guess it is time to get that nose piercing.

My day continued to go pretty well. Ken texted me late morning to tell me that thankfully Brianna appeared to be all better. No more swelling and she was running around like a normal kitten. YAY!

Ok, the afternoon was a bit dodgy what with Ken’s bike tire going flat on our ride, but truly, it wasn’t a huge deal. It was still a nice outing and I still got to ride the whole trip to Lowe’s and back. And while we were at Lowe’s, we came up with solutions to the hedge issue in the back yard. We found that they have the bamboo plant we want and a good way to secure some privacy while the bamboo grows in. Since the house next door is going to be sold, we need to make this project a priority since we want to have it established for any potential buyers. It will be a weekend project, but it will probably be very satisfying to get it all done.

We also priced out linoleum since I would really like to replace the flooring in the kitchen. We saw some that would be perfect in the idea that it would hide much of the muddy prints from boys and dogs that we always get.

I did have one minor meltdown when I arrived home from work. The frat house was still in effect and I was frustrated. The kids’ rooms were a wreck. The kittens were still holed up in the room. The boys were playing when really, they should have had these things clean before they did this.

I went a little ape shit, but we did get at least the bedroom in order. Plus, we came up with some plans concerning organizing both rooms, which Ken will be working on today. Books are being moved from the bedroom into the playroom on better shelves. We also got a window fan for the bedroom to allow the kitten stink to be sucked out and keep the room cooler.

I actually am pretty pleased so far with how diligent the boys have been about picking up kitten poop, and them keeping the kittens fed. I have only seen poop in the pan once, and I was pretty sure it was fresh. And the second I mention it, they almost fight over who gets to clean it. Plus, the kittens have had fresh water and kibble at all times. We moved these items up on the dresser so that Luna won’t snack on the kibble, and it keeps the floor a little cleaner.

Yesterday I found myself teaching the boys yet another random song. Dax had made a bow and arrow out of a cat toy and so I in my feminist crazy I asked if they were Katniss or the chick from Brave. They of course said Hawkeye, and I countered with Cupid. This resulted in a conversation about who the heck was Cupid. I burst into song.

“Cupid, draw back your bow, and let, your arrow go. Straight to my lover’s heart for me.

Cupid, please hear my cry, and let, your arrow fly. Straight to my lover’s heart for me.”

All three of my boys looked at me in wonder. I could understand the boys not knowing this song from the 60’s, but I had hoped that even Ken would have at least had some recognition. Not so much. I have much to teach these men in my life.

The plan for this afternoon is to go see Brave. We have some movie tickets for the archlight so the plan is to use those. I am very anxious to see the flick. It will be most happy making.

Now I just have to make it through a work day. I am looking forward to the workout as this is the highlight of the work day. I get to have my runner’s high AND I get to watch my show. 4 more hours and it will be time! WOO!

well dressed bitch

6-27-12


Bad mood alert.

Monarch was feeling the need to keep us up all night. Between trying to scratch his way out the screen door, trying to get into the boys’ room and other crazy cat activities, he was a menace. I was medicated due to the crippling cramps I was dealing with, so it is not fun to be that groggy while listening to him scratch on aluminum.

On top of that, the times I was able to sleep, I feel into twisted and dark dreams that when I woke up still haunted me. Walking in parking structures, being followed by Stabby Joe. Oh, and of course the standard Ken dumping me dream, which I no longer think means I worry that he is leaving me. Since just about all of my dreams have reoccurring characters and themes, and tend to represent something else, I have a feeling this is one of those times.

As if this wasn’t enough, I came in to work only to be greeted by the email. I have a meeting at 9 this morning with HR regarding the dress code.

Let me back up a second. Having not written a blog yesterday, this fun fact was not brought up yet. You see, on Tuesday, my fearless leader brought me in for a meeting. It was of course to cover some standard stuff, but the thing that stood out was what he started with. Apparently someone had reported that I was not adhering to the dress code. I expected the topic of my bright pink hair to be brought up. Shockingly, it was never mentioned. Instead, he proceeded to tell me that I can not wear halter tops. I should have laughed, but I was pissed. I snipped at him, and explained that this would of course not be a problem since I don’t own a halter top. He then proceeded to mention something about jeans, which I countered with the fact that I only have one pair of dark blue jeans that I wear to work.

He had the gall to continue and explain how I am always very fashionable and yet I now needed to talk to HR concerning the complaint. He had no information! What a stupid, fucking irresponsible manager to come to an employee with next to no information concerning a wrong doing, yet proceeded to scold me.

I went back to my desk and fired off a blog for the internal site. I was pissed. I even brought up the dress code itself, quoting it verbatim in the piece and pointed out there was no clause saying that jeans could only be worn on Fridays. Hell, there was NOTHING indicating any article of clothing that would be considered off limits. I continued my rant talking about how archaic of a policy it would be if it truly was indicating that our construction company, one in which we walk through a warehouse daily, work with customers who wear t-shirts and jeans, one in which the sales team dresses in t-shirts and jeans, one in which I NEVER see a customer in person and one in which ultimately put the dress code up to the discussion of the manager I report to, who was too fucking chicken shit to back me!

I ended it, trying to stay rational, even asking for those whopping 5 people who read my blogs on this site to let me know what it is that I wear that is so offensive. I hit post, and knew shit would hit the fan, but I didn’t care.

Yesterday morning I opted to delete it. It seemed to me that if someone had read it, it made no difference if I deleted it now.

This morning is when I got the meeting request.

It is supposed to be brief. It is with the director of HR. I happen to be dressed pretty conservative today. I know what the argument is going to be. We have to be careful since this is up to our parent company, not us. They are Japanese and much more formal. I understand, but that being said, I dress fine! I don’t have bra straps hanging out all over the place. I don’t tend to sport too much cleavage. I make sure I am well groomed. I have seen people around here in stripper shoes and short shorts. I would never thrown them under the bus, but it seems that I have been singled out, and I am unsure as to what it is that I have done this time to offend the masses.

I have a couple of suspects. There are obviously members of the department that could very well hold a grudge against me. NAG comes to mind, as does the girl who also gets frustrated with NAG. But honestly, the lead suspect is a member of HR. This is the guy in charge of safety and other bullshit tasks around here, including things like the fitness challenge contests. I have called him out a couple of times on his inefficiency. He moved over to our building semi recently and he comes in early like I do. He always gives me the hairy eyeball when I pass him. I don’t trust him. He is the person who stuck the old facilities manager behind me with no notice. I have a feeling that was punishment for both the guy behind me and for me. He doesn’t trust me for some reason, and since he now sees me more often due to his employee being seated behind me, I am guessing he has been looking for something to complain about.

I also suspect it is a guy since I could see a guy not knowing the difference between a halter top and some other kind of a top.

I feel bad for the two guys in HR I am meeting with. They are both super nice and I am coming in with full PMS raging anger. If I am going to have a bad morning, so will they.

Today will be rough since I cannot chew my gum. Yesterday I had my old crown removed and a temporary now resides in its place. The doc told me to be gentle with it for the next few weeks until I get the permanent one put in. I took this as a not so subtle way to tell me to steer clear of things like gum. This is unfortunate as gum tends to be my go to in order to not snack. I know I could probably chew gum on the other side of my mouth or even just suck on it, but I would like to know I can go a few weeks without gum.

Brianna seems to have injured her foot. It is a bit swollen and she isn’t putting any weight on it. I don’t know if this is from jumping down from the top bunk or from kid accident, but the good news is she is still in good spirits. She also was playing last night, even doing the kitten sprint away from battle. She noted the pain after getting pretty far away, and then spent some time stretching out her leg. I am hoping it is just a strain. For now, we are keeping an eye on it. It isn’t preventing her from eating or the standard functions, so for now we are in observation mode.

Lucy is a spazbot. She is extremely active and it has been difficult to not address her after she knocks something over with a Ricky Ricardo voice drawing out her name. It is pretty funny, actually, and she so far seems to respond to it, so it will be a fun kitty all around.

Is it wrong that I am debating on coming in tomorrow in a suit just to be bitchy?

I got the pleasure of teaching the boys how to make a tent yesterday. We had an old jersey knit sheet that had holes in it so we were going to get rid of it. I opted to give it to the kids. It was a fitted sheet, so even better for use in this tent activity. I showed them how to attach it to stools and the backs of chairs. Bobby had the bright idea to use this stick to put in the middle and this gave them more head room. It was a pretty sweet tent, and they then set up shop under it with their iPods and were all kinds of happy. It was awesome!

This afternoon will hopefully be spent de-frat boying the house. With three boys at home the last few days, you can tell it has become a dent of slack. Ken did a lot of work on Lego stuff in the front, but the younger boys are actually the main culprits for the main clutter. All three of them tend to be a little more relaxed in the rules of putting away breakfast dishes and toys keep migrating out into the living room. We also now have had Anthony over a few days and so this is extra distraction. I need to get things in better order to have some sense of calm. We have a bike ride this afternoon, too, so hopefully I will find some Zen in all of this.

I caught up with my Drop Dead Diva season 3, but sadly not in time to have been able to watch episode 1 online for free. I opted to pay the $3 to download it. I should be able to watch episodes 2 through 4 then online and then be caught up. It was tough watching the emotional season finality on the treadmill since crying and walking are a crazy combo.

Luckily I was able to keep my emotions in check because of creepy Uncle Fester. There is this new facilities dude who happened to be in the gym cleaning while I was in there. He looked at me all weird much of the time. Plus, I have seen him several times in the last few days and he always stares at me. It is freaky.

I need to do a prep for reports for next week. I figure if I get all of that setup today, I can also get them set up for next month since I will be gone and it is nice to have it all ready for my backup.

No baby

6-25-12


I don’t think I am pregnant.

Friday morning I went to the doctor’s office. Bobby’s cough was the appointment I was able to make for the morning, so even though I was scheduled for a visit at 1, I was able to piggy back a bit on his appointment.

I took a pee test, which I knew would be negative, if only because I had just consumed about a gallon of water. I had made some excel formulas showing what days I should start based on average cycle length and even putting in ranges showing if it was a standard 28 day cycle. As much as this all was cool, they pointed out that it still might be too soon for a positive test result. As much as this was nice to hear in terms of knowing I wasn’t crazy, I didn’t like the fact that I would have to wait another week to know for sure.

Bobby’s diagnosis was just as vague in a lot of ways. He wasn’t told outright that he had asthma. But there are signs leading to everything from just allergy based coughing and all the way up to exercise induced asthma. She sent over a prescription for another 2 canisters of his inhaler, and we also got a note for the school year. She was supposed to prescribe some Zyrtec, but for some reason that didn’t come through.

What was the most interesting part was the circle of eczema on the back of his neck. I had noticed it in the lobby. It was very faint, and if anything looked like his sunburn from a few weeks back that was still peeling. The odd part was that it was a perfect circle. Ken remembered to bring it up and she was pleased to see this since it was a typical spot that comes up from this random asthma diagnosis. Medicine is freaky!

At 2, I had my hair appointment. I had printed out some pictures of what I was hoping for. They were pipe dreams. The cut section that we had done when the bleach burned me was just too short of a section to work with in order to do some of the cuts I had wanted. The stylist was pretty blunt about the damage I had done to my hair, and pointed out that at this point, I should cut out as much as possible in order to make it somewhat manageable. I didn’t want it uber short, but I put my trust in this woman.

She did an amazing job considering what she had to work with. Thank goodness I have a lot of hair, and thankfully my roots are healthy. Even though yes, the back is crazy short, I have a pretty full head of hair. She styled it super cute into this total 50’s cute cut, which worked amazingly well with my pink color. I have been unable to duplicate that style, but I have worked with it a bit over the weekend and it should be doable for now. We will not be coloring it at this point. She was concerned that since there were still bleached sections that they would possibly soak up a brown color wrong. So for now I am going to continue with the dark roots and pink tones. It isn’t ideal, but at least it isn’t bad.

Ken was not as thrilled with the cut. He felt out of place at the salon being that I was surrounded by the stylist and Stephanie who both were encouraging the short cut. Ken doesn’t care for short hair, and since he didn’t want to be mean there, he didn’t want to say anything. Sadly, that is not the kind of mood a girl wants when she is nervous about her new style. His choice of words after we got in the car were poor and only made me feel ugly and somewhat controlled. I didn’t like it one bit. Later when we discussed it, he asked me what he should have said. He wanted to know if honesty was not what I had wanted. After now thinking about this for 2 days, I didn’t want him to lie. But wouldn’t it have been more constructive to say to me that he didn’t like the short cut, but that he knew that I would still rock it? It allows for support with still pointing out he wasn’t happy with it.

Friday night also brought to us two more Brenans in the form of orange and white kitties. Sheila brought over the kittens I had agreed to take so I could present them to the boys. We had them out in the garage cage overnight. Sheila had also brought a bed they liked and their toys. Luckily, these girls are incredible. Both are very affectionate. Both are patient and truly they seem to have the perfect temperament for this purpose of giving the boys their first kittens.

We didn’t present them until after we got back from the registration event. We opted to have them still “buy” the kittens with their stones. We gave them some reward stones. Dax got some for his academic award. They got some for perfect attendance. They got some for being so good at the registration. They already had saved up a bunch, so adding these stones would put them at the 500 mark, which was kitten price.

Bobby came into the living room and was counting out the 500 to buy a kitten He didn’t notice me sitting there with the two girls in my lap. The one with a more white face then jumped out of my lap and ran over to Bobby. She had chosen. Both boys were thrilled. Bobby’s kitten was dubbed Lucy. It was almost as though he had planned this name for a while. Especially cute since his dad’s first pet was named Lucy, even though Bobby didn’t know this at the time. Dax had a harder time coming up with a name. I suggested him using character names or names of people he knew. He kept going with things like Fluffy, and we steered him away from those. I mentioned using names from school and he instantly called her Brianna. I suggested shortening it, but he was dead set. Brianna is the girl he had declared at one point was his future wife. Talk about the ultimate romantic gesture wasted on youth.

Lucy is much more playful and outgoing. She is curious and sweet, and apparently enjoys Doritos. Brianna is much mellower. Super affectionate and spent a good chunk of the day in a kitty coma.

They live in the boys’ room. We have their own litter pan in there along with their food and water. We have the boys doing all of the chores associated with cat ownership. They feed them, change the water and scoop the pans. They are doing pretty well on this. The kittens slept in their room, and you could hear all 4 of them playing happily all Sunday morning. Sunday the kittens were allowed to wander the house. Poor Tonks was not happy with this. She saw the two of them at one point and flipped out. Ittles was equally spooked. The kittens didn’t back down, and if anything seemed to have the upper hand.

Monarch, in typical Monarch style, didn’t give two cents about the little ones. He saw them and pretty much ignored them. The girls growled at him, and he didn’t give a shit. It was pretty funny, actually. I like that he isn’t threatened, and that if anything, I think he already has plans to make them into additional minions so that he has a full orange army.

Saturday evening we went out to dinner for Matt’s birthday. We met at TGI Fridays. Matt was already wound up when we arrived. He had a meltdown soon after we were seated when Ken pulled the blinds because the sun was way bright on the table. Matt flipped out. He cursed and hollered and was beyond flustered. He even jumped up and looked to be ready to storm off. Thankfully the boys didn’t notice anything unusual about his hostile behavior. It was crazy, though. He was angry at Ken for pulling the shades, which made zero sense.

He may have been still worked up from his accident on Thursday. He was parking his car at work and proceeded to accidently hit the accelerator instead of the brake. He smashed through a fence and over a small Toyota and then into the front of a pickup truck. Yeah, it wasn’t good. He called Dad and said, “Dad, I need help.”

His car will be in the shop until July 9th. Thankfully it sounds like insurance will cover everything beyond the $500 deductible. The only thing it doesn’t cover, though, is his frayed nerves.

Ok, update on pregnancy: I started today. I guess no baby.

I am shocked at the fact that I am not devastated. I expected to be more sad being that I was getting pretty jazzed about this whole prospect. Granted, I am upset and pretty sad, but I don’t feel like this was the last chance I have, nor do I feel as if this was my last chance that it is a bad thing. I would love to have another baby. I would be ok if I didn’t. Maybe I am not as crazy as I had assumed?

The worst part of this right now is the crazy, horrific cramping I have now. Yuck!

My day looks to be pretty basic. I have to make it through this whole work day thing and then I think we are riding up to Lowe’s to pick up some items. I am supposed to go to Brandy’s this afternoon, also, so I need to find out what time that will be. Other than that, I think I may as well have a cocktail since it won’t hurt anything now. LOL!

Update

Heading to the doctor's office in a bit. Hopefully will get Bobby's cough taken care of, and perhaps some piece of mind for my chick issues.

sadness

6-22-12

I am officially sad.

Two tests later, including one this morning with the most concentrated urine, I am still coming up
negative. I don’t know why I am surprised. Ok, I do, but I hate this. I probably jinxed it. I got too excited
much to early into the process. This morning I guess I will call the doctor to see what is up. I need to
make an appt for Bobby, too, since his cough has been officially going on for too long.

On to more interesting news.

Dax tried to die yesterday. Ok, it wasn’t that serious, but he did hit a car with his bike. We rode up to the
post office in Old Torrance and as we were heading back towards the grocery store, Ken and Dax were
getting ready to cross the street. Ken circled around as there was a car coming. Dax did not stop. He
panics and takes his feet off the pedals. Luckily, the car had seen us and if anyone knows Old Torrance,
it is a slow moving little area, so the guy had stopped. Dax plowed into the side of his car and bounced
off. It scared the shit out of Dax. Although, it apparently scared the guy in the car even more. He wasn’t
worried about any damage or anything like that. He simply asked Ken if he could find his soul since he
was sure it had escaped in the terror of possibly hitting a kid. My poor Dax was ok after a bit of heavy
crying. He seemed to ride a little more cautious on the rest of our journey. I was surprisingly calm. I
knew he was in no danger as I watched him barrel towards the car. I had seen that the car saw him and
I saw that Dax wasn’t going horribly fast. I was actually pretty happy it happened since it hopefully put
this fear in him so he would be more careful.

In other Dax news, he claims he kissed a boy. We were watching an episode of Friends when Bobby
starting asking questions about kissing. He asked why some people kiss all the time and things like that.
Dax then piped up randomly and said he had kissed this one kid. I wasn’t familiar with the name and
asked him which kid that was. He then proceeded to describe him. I was more amused than anything
and asked him if he liked it. Not in a sexual sense, btw. I was more curious as to what he thought about
in kissing. He said he did not, which made me chuckle more just in the idea that he was so matter of
fact.

In super compulsive, crazy news, our house will be the proud home of two new kittens. Vicki sent out
an email from our old boss, Sheila who was looking for a home for two kitten sisters that her friend had
obtained. I guess her friend had dropped them off when she had been diagnosed with breast cancer and
could not care for them. These kittens, a good 4 people deep, were adorable. The pic of them showed
2 little orange and white kitties, who are 8 weeks old. I got it in my head that it would be fun to give the
boys each their own kitten. Ken was not thrilled, but allowed me the impulse. The plan at this point it to
pick them up tonight (they may be brought to us at home). The boys do not know, and we are going to
hopefully get them after bedtime so that we can present them with the giant bows.

The boys have become a bit to anti chick in my opinion. I showed them the Katniss doll and since she
had a bow and arrow, they only could think of her being related to Hawkeye. Sure, I can see that. But
let’s add that to the trip home from work. The boys had been dropped off by Ken and so as we drove

home, they said that they would rather have a baby brother since then he could play Star Wars with
them. I pointed out a girl could play, but they were skeptical. They then proceeded to quiz me, a girl, on
Star Wars. I. Kicked. Ass.

Now add that Bobby actually didn’t want to see Brave because he said it looked like just a flick about
some chick shooting a bear. Sigh. What the fuck?? Have I not been a strong, female role model? Have
I not pointed out that I can do shit some boys can’t do? Sadly, I think being in school with a bunch of,
well, girly girls has tainted their view of chicks in general.

It was pointed out that they should watch Alien. Yes, I say. Strong women will be their new homework.
They watch Korra, so I don’t get how they don’t see the strength there. But I suppose this is just how
they have to learn.

one week

6-21-12


One week.

After work we are going to ride up to the store to pick up the last home test that I will buy. No matter the results, I will be heading to the doc. I figure if it is nugatory, I need to know why my period is AWOL. If it is positive, well, I am thinking I need to get me an OBGYN.

Until then, I have a day of work ahead of me. I am a little tired still. Not horribly so. It is just noticeable. I think the frustration is starting to get to me a bit more than I would like.

I wasn’t able to get my hair cut yesterday. Not a problem as I was able to meet the chick who would be cutting my hair and I made an appointment for Friday at 2. I am going for cut only, and I will ask her what the best approach to getting back to brown would be. I also am going to see if she knows how to restore some happy hair to my head. The roots coming in are awesome, but perhaps she knows of a product that will restore some moisture to the rest of my locks while they wait for new growth.

Sadly, I have been using the wrong terminology on my hair adventures. I have been indicating I need to “fix” my hair. I was unaware of the indications that this was putting off. Ken has taken this to heart and has felt as though I have been criticizing his help on my hair. I have NEVER blamed him for anything that my hair has gone through. He has acted only as my assistant and has done to my hair everything I have asked him to do. The bleach actually was something he wasn’t as thrilled with, but I insisted because of my inability to be patient with results. I feel bad since I never intended on hurting his feelings.

My mom was asking the boys what names they would choose if they ever had a sibling. Bobby’s so far has been the best. He suggested Spark for a boy. I actually really like that.

Last night we took Miss Luna to the Torrance vaccination clinic. Thankfully we went just early enough that we were only a few back in line and that we didn’t have to stand around for a long ass time. Luna was very good. Her only problem was that she wanted to give everyone a hug. She is very gentle about her hugs, but she isn’t a tiny puppy. Thankfully, this was a batch of good dog owners. None of them were offended at her hug offer, and even more importantly, none of them were offended when I scolded her with a stern “off” command.

The $7 price tag for a rabies vaccination is pretty sweet! The clinic started at 7. We got there at about 20 till and were out by 10 after. I now can go get her license renewed. Woo hoo!

Once again I got to work a little earlier, which means I will not feel so bad doing a longer walk on the treadmill this morning. Yesterday I did 35 minutes at 3 mph at the highest incline of 12 (not that I know what that means in terms of incline, but I figure doing it on the highest is a good thing). I am going to start increasing my speed I think. I have been known to go at 3.2 mph. I would like to get up to 4 by the end of the summer.

Stephanie, Sabrina and I got to wander downtown San Pedro yesterday since I couldn’t get my hair cut. It was fun going on a girly shopping trip. Not that we got anything, but there is something different about going into the vintage clothing stores with girls and no boys. Speaking of this one store, it had some really fun old threads. I am looking forward to my weight loss since there were several things in there I could see wearing just because. I pointed out to Stephanie that we I get back down to human size, I am going to be out of control with my clothing. LOL! I was calculating it out and honestly, if I can lose another 80 pounds, I will be thrilled and content. I know my idea is like 135, but what’s wrong with 20 pounds of curves?

I need to remember where I parked today. Since I got in early, I took advantage of being allowed to park in the front again. Yesterday I did this, but completely forgot when I headed out to the car. I absentmindedly walked out to my normal spot and was confused when my car was not there. So this afternoon I will try to remember so I don’t walk all the way to the back again.

Still late

6-20-12


Still late. Still frustrated.

For now, my plan is to take another test either tomorrow or Friday. Tomorrow marks a week late. I figure I have given it a day or two of checking to see if this so far is just one of those random things. If those tests are nugatory, I will be heading down to the doc anyway since I do need to know what is up. I have a light pressure/cramping feeling in my lower pelvis. I still get nauseous from time to time. It is minor, but there. I also noted a high blood sugar this morning, which is unusual. I will test it all day to watch.

I also need to stay off the net. Between my hypochondriac tendencies and my desire to be pregnant, I am diagnosing myself with being everything from knocked up to dying. Sigh.

During the awards ceremony for the school, I was pleasantly surprised when Dax was awards with the academics award! Only 2 kids in the class get this. It means he is top of the class! WOO! I jumped up and cheered when he ran up and I think I amused the crowd with my happy. Both boys got the perfect attendance awards, too, so it was a good morning!

The boys and I got home around 11. I was confused since I had hoped Ken would make it to the school for part of the ceremony. But he wasn’t returning texts or calls. I was getting a little worried. I thought he was getting done at 10. I finally was able to reach him at Noon 15. Apparently there was some confusion and he wasn’t due to be done until noon. Sigh.

I spent the afternoon watching episodes of Drop Dead Diva, trying to catch up through last season so I can then catch up on the new season so I can gossip about it with Scott and Andy in Ireland. It was nice, since the boys played on their own stuff.

Dax and I did have an issue, though. He was whining a fair amount whenever he had a minor bit of difficulty with his Lego set. Finally I took it away. I told him when Ken got home, he could continue since I was not as able to help him and frankly, I was tired of his attitude. I was calm and told him to go play something else. About 20 minutes later, he comes back with a note he wrote. It said, “Dear Mom. I am sad. Love Dax” This kid is going to be trouble!!! I didn’t give him back his set, but he was happy to be able to cry it out a bit. Poor thing.

I think I am going to try and force myself to work a little late today. If anything, I will stay here long enough to allow me a longer workout. I figure if I can get in a good walk, I will be thrilled. I just checked and I have at least 30 minutes of an episode that I can watch which will be great!

Ken and the boys are home today, which means my house gets cleaned up. I am thrilled! Also, with the summer camp fast approaching, it means all the Lego in the house goes to camp! I am going to hopefully use this time to reorganize the living room and entry way. I would like that whole area to stay clear. With the newest critter acquisition, which would be the fish tank, I am considering moving that to the entry way. It will look nice there, and it will prevent clutter from other items.

Speaking of the fish tank, I am not sure who likes it more; Ken, Bobby or Tonks.

I am considering going down to the salon Stephanie recommended. I may go today. I had found their Facebook and asked if they do walk ins, which they said they do. I want to cut and see how much a color treatment will cost. I figure I can get some pricing overall.

Sigh, I am hoping today isn’t slow.

Last Day of School

6-19-12


Did I jinx it?

I peed on stick number one yesterday afternoon. I had no problem with the idea that it would come back negative since I probably had pretty diluted pee after a day of drinking gobs of water. I wasn’t prepared for the negative result this morning, which was taken on a full bladder that I purposely didn’t empty all night so that I would have the most concentrated hCG levels. The control line was very prevalent, with the baby line absent.

Of course, this just adds to the crazy.

I hate not knowing something. I have not had a period. I am never late. I have a general icky feeling with other telltale pregnancy symptoms. If I am pregnant, I just want to know. If I am for sure not, I want to know what is going on with these other things.

Needless to say, I am not a happy camper this morning.

At least I get to leave work in about an hour. I am off to the last day of school with the boys. I am taking them to class since Ken has to rush over to Costa for their final. This works fine for me. It allows me to take the boys, and then run over to Dollar Tree to get them balloons for the awards ceremony. Both are getting a certificate, so I think this will be fun. I also got them a bag of marbles. I know, random, but I happened across a bag of marbles that were tiger ones with the label indicating they were Bobby Bengal Tiger. Dude, how do I pass up that for Bobby who is a tiger fanatic??

After the awards ceremony, I know the Kinder class is doing an ice cream party, so I am guessing Bobby will be released to us and then we will go hang with the Kinder class. Should be fun. I am excited!

Late?

6-18-12


Ugh.

I feel icky this morning. It doesn’t help that we got home late last night and I just couldn’t get comfortable. It is no secret that I am not on birth control. Ok, it isn’t a secret with the people I know read this. I am currently 4 days late according to my best calculations. I should have started Thursday. I am never late. I am always early if anything. That being said, since I had been feeling off for about a week now, I opted to do the pee stick. The first stick I used was one of the ones from the Dollar Tree. Don’t laugh! I had read several articles pointing out that technology has gotten to the point that even the cheap ones are pretty accurate.

That stick was negative.

After that I just assumed that it must mean that the ick I had been feeling was just some mega PMS. This seemed way reasonable. Yet the ick continued, with none of the other typical period symptoms. So I opted to pee on a nicer stick. It was one of the ones that claims to be able to detect pregnancy up to 5 days before a missed period. So why not use that, right?

That stick was negative.

Well, ok, then truly I must be just over reacting to some pretty vague symptoms. What a shock, me being hyper sensitive to any medical situation? Sheesh, I need some help.

This all brings us to this morning. I am still not bleeding. I have been awake each night with a bout of nausea. I have been more tired than I have been in a long while. In all fairness, we were driving in the mountains, which makes me car sick. It was 100 degrees up at the Compound and it was a long weekend with little sleep. This means every single thing could have an alternate answer.

It is time for the third stick.

Ken will go pick one up today. If he doesn’t make it to the store, we will go this afternoon. I of course won’t be able to pee on it this afternoon. Well, ok, I can, but morning urine is more concentrated and based on my water consumption, my urine may in fact be pretty diluted in general. However, since I am a very impatient person, I will probably just get a box with 2 tests so I can take on this afternoon anyway, and have a backup for tomorrow morning.

Aside from the possibility of having a new tenant, the weekend was mostly uneventful in terms of uber excitement. We got up to the Compound late on Friday night. Turns out, a good chunk of the 5 was under construction causing 13 miles of one lane and backup. Thankfully Ken was able to get us to an off freeway route to pass up most of it. In fact, the detour we took on the way home saved us about an hour and 45 minutes of traffic.

Saturday morning we headed out to the Soap Box Derby. It was 98 degrees out. We thankfully got a pretty good parking spot, but even that was not going to salvage this plan. We had a good spot to see the cars whiz by, but that’s the problem. These cars were going much faster than I had hoped for. I wanted more of the wacky cars, less of the competitive versions. It was cool, but when you are standing in baking heat to only get a 3 second glimpse of a car, it isn’t worth it.

There was a kids section of a couple of bounce houses, which the boys enjoyed. The pool was supposed to open at some point, but we knew it would be packed. We stayed at the derby for maybe an hour and a half and then threw in the towel. We went back up to the house, and at which point gathered the dogs and opted to head down to the creek. Yay! There was only one family there, and only the 6 year old kid with them was in the water. It allowed us to let the dogs swim, the boys met a new friend, and it was perfect. Luna was thrilled!! Lycos was even perkier because of the dip. The boxer pups are not water dogs, so although they were happy for the outing, I don’t think they were getting the full happy from the trip.

That evening we just hung out and had nice chats about everything from Ireland to pets to school to movies. It was great! We had to also clean up the garage at one point because a bear managed to thrash a bag of dog food and knock over the can of bird feed in the garage. Don’t tell Dax since it took me a bit before this happened to convince Dax there were no bears coming into the house. Oops.

Tomorrow is the last day of school. Both boys are getting awards. I know Bobby is getting the perfect attendance award since he got a letter saying so. Dax’s letter didn’t say, but it would make sense that he would get the same. The ceremony starts at 10. This means I will come to work in the morning and leave around 9. I need to go get them each a balloon.

I am sitting here and I see gobs of work. Granted, I know all of it will take me maybe 20 minutes to do, but I just am not feeling it. Lame.