24 more hours!

10-14-09

Dammit!

So I finally got my rain last night. This was supposed to be super happy making. I was supposed to be all cozy and the rain was going to make the wonderful sounds that put me into a deep sleep. Not even a little bit.

I couldn’t get comfortable a lot of the time. It wasn’t as cold as I would have hoped. Plus, at some point the cats decided they also could not sleep. They were banging on something, which I decided in my head was the kid’s table. But it made no sense, and every time I heard the sound, I was sure Stabby Joe was there. Finally, around 4, it dawned on me that Ittles must just be in Bobby’s room and wants out. So I got up, thinking if I freed her, at least I would still get 30 minutes of sleep. The problem was, when I went into the hallway, the bathroom door was closed. I checked for Ittles in Bobby’s room, but at this point, I was pretty sure that it was probably Monarch locked in the bathroom because he is a spaz. So I didn’t let him out. I didn’t even go in to pee, even though I really had to go. I crawled back into bed, and mentioned this to Ken. He got up and let Monarch out since apparently he was not locked in there from Ken, but because Monarch is an idiot and managed to close the door on himself.

So for 20 minutes, I struggled with trying to get back to sleep even though I had to pee, Monarch with his new found freedom was galloping through the house and terrorizing all that got in his way, and I knew with each minute, it was one less that I would be able to rest.

The alarm went off for a second. I jumped up, sad that my 30 minutes were up, and Ken tells me that he was just checking the alarm to make sure it was set. It was only 4:20. Sigh. I threw in the towel and got up.

I am relatively sure I couldn’t get comfortable because of my worry about tomorrow. It shouldn’t be as bad as it is in my mind, but let’s face it, I over react to everything.

Lycos may lose her privileges. She has been sleeping in Bobby’s room for some time now. She has her crate in there, and Bobby has had a lot of fun feeding her dinner each night. It has been good since it teaches him some responsibility, plus, I am hoping that Lycos will start listening to the boys the way she listens to us.

Last night, Bobby got Lycos her food and took it into the room. Ken was not in there (I was in with Dax). He heard her bark, and so he came to investigate. She was wandering the room, and Bobby said that she wouldn’t go into her crate. Once in the crate and fed, Bobby broke down crying saying that Lycos nipped him. She has this tendency to knock the food out of Bobby’s hands because she thinks she is allowed to be in charge of him. Uncool. So going forward, we will need to be in there when Bobby does it, and we need to teach Bobby to be more stern and confident with the dog. I don’t need her being stupid. I told Ken if she is going to act like this, she can sleep outside. I am so not kidding. She has been acting up more and more lately, despite the fact that she gets even more attention now because the boys love to play with her, and we are out back with her all the time now. But she doesn’t obey commands like she used to, and she is more grumpy. She will be 10 in Feb, so she is getting old. Of course, she in theory should have a few more years in her. I just don’t need her spooking Bobby to the point where he doesn’t want to be around dogs. It makes me a little more anxious about getting a puppy so Bobby can attach to a younger dog who will listen to him because she doesn’t think she is in charge. Plus, with Lycos being so dominant, it will make it a very submissive pup, perfect for Bobby. A new pup could sleep in Bobby’s room, and he can learn the responsibilities with a puppy, which would be good. Maybe Christmas or his birthday. I had considered cat, but we have a lot of cat, and let’s face it, cat would just blend into our house. But a boy and his dog? Bobby would be able to walk the dog. He would be able to let the dog sleep with him. He would have a companion for all of his adventures. I have no problem sharing my desire for having a golden. I mean, that would be a perfect kind of dog for him. Loyal, sweet, and it would work well in our household. Monarch would be pissed. Then again, maybe he would figure out early on that having his own puppy would allow him the greatest minion of all! I will be thinking a lot about this.

I am all happy with myself this morning since I got to rock my really pretty scarf. It isn’t really cold enough to do it, but I figure what the hell, right? It looks cute!

I am finding the obituaries fascinating. I love it when they include humor and joy. It is nice that someone writing it celebrates the life of the deceased while still paying tribute. I know, I probably should not read them, but I am drawn to them right now.

Falling asleep here.

I am really starting to stress about tomorrow. Ken pointed out that they may need to take blood from him as well for testing purposes. I don’t know why, but who knows why they do all this stuff. I know they will explain it as it happens, but I am telling you now, it is going to be a rough 2 hours. I figure from 6:30 when he gets in there to 8:30, his scheduled procedure time, I am going to have to stay pretty positive and chipper, not letting him see me cry or anything, lest I will end up scaring him. His IV and blood stuff should be less traumatic in terms of me crying, only because I have dealt with shots, now. Then again, because of the whole thing, I might be more weak. I know for a fact when he goes under, I will be a mess. Hell, just thinking about it is making me tear up at work, which is not good! The good news is, Ken will be there with me, and I am pretty sure all the docs and nurses there will be pretty accustomed to a crazy psycho mommy.

Ken asked me what I wanted to do while he was getting worked on. The problem is, I don’t know how far away they would let us be. I will want to check in on Dax, and keep my mind off of it. I also want to be close by so that the second he is ready, I am there. I also recognize that we will end up finding out more info tomorrow, so a lot of my worry is pointless right now until I know.

Once he is back awake, I am pretty sure I will be way ok. Once he takes the first sip of apple juice, I think I will be able to breathe again.

On a side note, anyone who has ever been in the hospital for a chunk of time when they couldn’t eat anything has got to agree with me on this point. The apple juice you get from there has got to be the most incredible juice on the planet. It is like drinking nectar from the gods. I was going to call it pee, but I thought that was just plain gross. Anyhoo, what I am trying to say is, seriously, nothing can compare to that first sip of it when you have not been allowed anything more than ice chips. Having had this sip several times what with 3 surgeries and 2 births, I know that every time I get to put the cup to my mouth, I get excited. The second to last time I got this sip was when I had been in the hospital with the pancreientitis and I was drugged out on some kind of morphine stuff. Yet when the nurse or doctor or whoever she was brought in this giant cup of the stuff, I honestly jumped up and hugged the poor woman. She didn’t know what to do with me, and luckily I don’t think I ever saw her again so there wasn’t some awkward apple juice/hug tension between us.

In a little over 24 hours from now, he will get that sip. I figure it is 9:40 right now, and with his surgery not taking more than an hour, and the recovery of 30 minutes, I say by 10 am tomorrow morning I will be dancing with happy.

It is going to be a long 24 hours.

Seriously, I can’t concentrate at all. I keep thinking about tomorrow.

On an awesome note, I might get to go to lunch with Alyssa on Sunday! YAY! I haven’t seen her in forever. I found her on MySpace about a year ago, and last night on FB we chatted a bit. She happened to be at Alpine Village on Friday night, when we were out to dinner. Had I known, I would have jetted down there. Either way, we had said in comments we needed to catch up. So lunch at the Kettle is on. She has an appt with her daughter tomorrow, so the lunch may depend on that. I, too, obviously have potential health issues with Bobby, but Ken said he would watch him no problem. I would like to take both of them as she would be bringing both of her kids. But if Bobby really can’t move around easily, it would make more sense to leave him at home. But Dax can tag along, which would be fun. I am sure he is going to be feeling a bit neglected these next couple days what with Bobby getting so much attention. Of course, he deals with this pretty well. I will know probably Thursday evening if the lunch plans are still on. We are making plans to meet up sans kids, too, since there is so much to talk about!