Monday, October 19, 2009

Of course it is long, I am writing 4 days worth of material!

10-19-09

Never has so much happened in 4 days!

Wednesday night when I went home, I had no idea how long my weekend would be. I knew there was stress, but I didn’t know about the laughter, the joy, the sad, the funny, the nostalgic, and well, just all around great weekend we would have.

Let’s start with the happenings on Thursday first.

I got up normal time on Thursday morning, ready to get the household up to head over to the hospital. The boys were in good spirits, which was great for me. Bobby didn’t seem too nervous. That may have been because he was tired. Either way, there was no fighting, not chaos. It was pretty mellow.

We got to the hospital a little after 6 am. The place was a ghost town. Ever since they moved the Emergency Room, you didn’t really have to walk through gobs of sick people to get anywhere.

My parents got there as we did, and our troop headed towards the wing in which Bobby was going to be worked on. As we approached, you could see there were people in there. We had no idea it would be a full house!

Scores of people. Seriously. Apparently out patient surgery is a 24 hour affair. The people in this waiting room were not just there waiting to be worked on. Many were waiting on their family members to be done, and it wasn’t even 6:30. Part of me wished we could have gotten him in at 4 am.

There were also other kids. One infant. Lots of older folks. Luckily, we found a group of chairs, and we set up shop, waiting for his time, and watching the sun come up.

My mom had packed them little goody bags full of toys, so they were quite jazzed for Grandma time.

They called his name about an hour in, and we bid our goodbyes to Dax, who was quite upset that we were leaving. Bobby wasn’t thrilled, either. Both brothers didn’t want to be separate, which is quite endearing, really.

We got into the staging area where we were ushered into our little curtained area. We had the standard barrage of questions that were verifying Bobby was Robert, born in Feb of 2005 and was getting his penis worked on. He was a little nervous, but kept it together quite well. We didn’t have a bed in our cubby yet, so we had a little bit of room to work as we put Bobby in his hospital jammies. They were cute, way cuter then the grownup ones. They had little sleepy tigers on them, and looked quite comfy. Us grownups get the silly dresses that our booty hangs out (which sucked that Bobby didn’t get this, being this was a selling point).

After he was dressed, they needed to do weight and height. This was going well until they decided they also needed his blood pressure. They put this little bandage thing around his arm before they put the actual arm balloon went on, and Bobby lost it. Sobbing and truly scared for the first time. Luckily, all of it went quick so he was better. Plus, they brought him his bed, so that gave him some distraction.

Once he was in bed, the doc showed up, and we discussed with him the plan. In reality, Ken talked to him, while I kept Bobby distracted from the goings on. Dr. Lesser assured us the whole procedure was going to be super short, and we were told Bobby would not have to have an IV until after he was asleep. Awesome! He would be given this oral medication that would mellow him out, then he would be gassed. This sounded great, because really, one of the biggest issues I was having with the whole thing was that an IV sucks.

Bobby was given the oral meds. It was like a fourth of a shot, but whatever it was, he sucked in down, and within 20 minutes, we had the makings of a college kid who had inhaled. He was goofy, he was giggly, and wow, was he stoned! As much as it probably should not be funny, it was hysterical. He laughed a lot, and just seemed so tired and happy. It was perfect.

The anesthesiologist came over and this is where our first jolt of not so great hit us. He informed us that we would not be there when Bobby went under. Apparently the hospital told us wrong. I wasn’t thrilled, and we mulled over the whole thing for a bit, and Ken told me it was really up to me. As much as I wanted to be there for him, I also knew based on his stonedness right at that point, he would probably be fine. No point in going through all of what we had done, and then stop to only do it again. I would be able to walk him to the outside of the OR, and he would be put under pretty quickly. He also would not remember any of it. So I said ok, and we were on the countdown.

Ken busted out his Nano and let Bobby watch Yo Gabba Gabba. It seemed appropriate since it is the show college kids watch when they are stoned. The nurses seemed amazed at this, as if no other kids have come in with something to watch while they waited to be worked on. So odd. They even let him take in into the OR so he would be distracted from being away from us for a few minutes before being asleep.

We thought that we had to wait another hour, when they came up like 5 minutes after this information and said it was time. We wheeled him to the hall and could see the OR door a few feet away. We said goodbye, and he looked a little upset, but seemed to keep it together. I also kept the tears to a minimum. I had my little wash cloth to dry my face as I assumed it would be bad to return to a waiting room full of family and patients, crying since it may make them all more nervous.

We both were going to go to the cafeteria to eat and find Dax and my parents, but we were told only one of us could leave. So Ken told me to go find Dax, because he knew how important it was for me to find him. I headed up to the cafeteria, only to not find them. So I sent a text only to discover they were pretty much by the waiting room. Oh well. I headed back, sans food. I couldn’t eat anyway. I was still too nervous.

Dax was thrilled to see me, and ran down the long hall towards me with such enthusiasm, it made me so happy.

The hospital, and the city, was in the midst of a earthquake drill that was going on for a couple hours. They had triage and “injured” people wandering around, which was fun.

The doc came out in what only seemed like a few minutes. He was in great spirits and told us his procedure went way well. He would not in fact have to have a catheter, and the stitches were really small. He didn’t have any other growths in the rest of the urethra, so it was all kinds of good. Woo hoo!

About 10 minutes later, if that, he was ready for us. I was in the midst of explaining to my folks, and they had to yell at me (Ken and everyone) to tell me he was ready. Clearly, I was out of it.

Not as much as poor Bobby. They told us when kids come to, be warned. They are in the world’s worst mood. They were not kidding. Although, in all fairness, he was less pissy and crazy compared to his night terrors. Who knew those sleepless nights would be good training! Bobby was positively calm compared to those thrash fests. We comforted him, and he had a popsicle and some juice. He didn’t share my opinion on it being the world’s best, but perhaps I am just odd on that.

It was strange watching him come to. He would cry, then all of the sudden fall back asleep. I stroked his head, and made sure he had his blanket. They said he might vomit, but only once was I concerned this would take place. We had to be in recovery for about 2 hours total. He finally came to, and was calm. He asked for Dax, which, by the way, so cute. We brought Dax in, and Dax sat at the base of Bobby’s bed, looking all concerned. He said, “Bobby has a boo boo but is all better?” The boys bonded quietly, and really, you could see Bobby perked up with his little brother being there. My mom came in at one point, as did my dad. He continued to improve and we knew it would be soon.

They wanted him to pee before we could leave. Makes sense. You mess with the peeing tool, you want to make sure it still works. Bobby tried. He really did. He went into the bathroom with us, and all the tricks to help didn’t work. Running water, he stood, he sat, Ken peed, etc. Nothing. So we went back to the bed where he continued getting IV fluids and he finished off his apple juice. Kid was uber hydrated, just no pee.

We told him he could pee in one of the pee bottles, which he thought was funny and a great idea until the thing was around him. He just couldn’t do it. Finally, we talked to the doc, and he told us Bobby could go home. We just needed to let him know if he peed (or didn’t). Sure enough, the minute we got home, he went and peed. Woo hoo!

Our adventure was over, and he was just told to take it easy when we got home. Easy we did. Both boys crashed out hard after some oatmeal (Bobby’s request), and I also fell asleep. I was beat.

I woke up to the balloon boy drama, and we actually found ourselves watching the balloon, wondering if when it crashed if there would be a dead kid. I kind of assumed he wasn’t, but you could never be too sure. I find it humorous that it was a big hoax.

The rest of the afternoon was spent mellow. Bobby would have preferred to run a bit, but he was tender. He has to put ointment on 3 times a day, and even that bugs him a bit. On a plus note, you can tell how much easier it is for him to pee now. It was that clear even from the first pee.

That night, though, it took Bobby some time to settle. He kept coming out of his room, so I told Ken that he could sleep in our room since let’s face it, he had a big day. Ken brought him in so the two of them could watch the hockey game. I crashed out. Ken did take him back to bed after the game, and I think he mostly settled, but it was late.

Friday was Bobby and my day of fun. Sort of. I mean, he couldn’t have gobs of fun with a hurt unit. But we managed. We watched The Wizard of Oz. He loved it. He became slightly obsessed with the Tin Man. I had rented the flick from NetFlix, so I may now need to go purchase it, as Bobby showed the movie to Dax later, and Dax enjoyed it, too.

Ken didn’t have to leave till later, which worked out great since at 10 am I had my LA Unified phone interview for Bobby’s speech and language evaluation. The lady who called for it was so much better than the dude I was originally going to talk to. She asked me questions like how my pregnancy was all the way up to things about his vocabulary. I am supposed to be getting a packet in the mail shortly, which will get me an evaluation from the testers he will see. The lady made me feel better, and made sure I knew that there was nothing to stress about yet. Although, my mom seemed to indicate that Bobby is harder to understand then I realize, which bugs me.

After the movie and my phone interview, Bobby and I went to Target, and then to get lunch. I was going to get him lunch, but since I told him he could have whatever he wanted for food all day, he said all he wanted for lunch was sports candy (which means any kind of fruit). When he wanted breakfast earlier, I asked what he wanted, so he said a sandwich. I don’t think he expected me to actually make him one, but he was tickled when I presented him with it. The fruit made him super happy, too. I on the other hand treated myself to hot dogs from WeinerDude. On a random happy making note on that, they also gave me two sodas even though I only paid for one! Yay!

The rest of the afternoon was spent with me helping him build the Lego pirate ship we have. It is actually Duplo, but it is mega cute. He was thrilled with this, and played with it all afternoon. I had some trouble with parts of it, and luckily, Ken got back from classes and was able to help me.

At 3:30, Bobby and I retrieved Dax and went to my parent house. The boys were able to ride bikes and get out some energy, which was great. It was fresh air for all.

When we got home, I so didn’t want to cook, so I looked up the Kids Eat Free restaurants and determined that IHOP was our option. So we headed over there. It was a pleasant meal, with me feeling like we need to start having dinner together more all sitting down as a family. The boys, although they do eat at a table, I don’t think it is good enough when it is just the two of them.

We stopped by Petco to get some crickets for the new lizard we found (the boys dubbed him Sparky). The boys and I rocked out in the car to the Beatles and Rush, and Ken went inside to get the crickets. He came out with crickets, some fish supplies, and a Golden Retrievers magazine for me. I laughed.

Let me explain.

Lately, with this bug up my ass about wanting a Golden, I had gone a little stupid. On Wednesday night, I had been thumbing through the Penny Saver and came across an add for Golden Retriever pups for sale. I thought I would call to see if we could go look at them. I figured, what the hell. I wasn’t truly in the market for one, but I wanted to get a feel for breeders and what was out there. I have been looking at shelters for a few weeks now, so this was just another option. I called the guy, who was quite nice. He told me we could come by around 6. Perfect. I sent Ken a text to see if we could go look, and he agreed.

We went by his place. They had 11 pups. We got to meet the mom and dad dog, both total sweeties. The puppies were great. All good size, and all looked healthy. The guy, and some woman we are unsure of if it was his mom or maybe his mom in law, were nice. We played with the pups a bit and then said our goodbye after some general questions. I liked them, and thought that we could hold on to his number for the next litter they had. We headed home, and truly, my mind went back to the following morning’s activities.

I had the pups in the back of my head, and I just knew they would be a good batch. But of course, they were pricey, and I didn’t think Ken wanted a pup at this point. I couldn’t blame him. We just finally got the kids to sleep and pee on their own. So why get another “baby”?

So when he presented me with the magazine, which was basically all about Golden’s, I laughed and told him it was sweet of him to get me puppy porn.

I figured that was the end of it for now.

Saturday morning was a morning of chaos for some reason. Ken had a birthday party to go to, and the boys were restless. Ken headed out, and I opted to go ahead and build the Duplo castle set for them. Way more complex then the boat, but they both loved it. At one point, I asked Bobby if he wanted to help me and he says, “No, you look like you are doing great, Mom.” Awesome.

I finished the castle, the boys played, and I got them some lunch. I finally sat down at the computer while they were eating. Ken had called a bit before saying he had screwed up and that the party was actually Sunday. I laughed, and he said he would be home after a couple errands.

I was doing some game on Facebook when he walked in. I didn’t look up. He had stuff in his hands, but I assumed it was party stuff. He shuffled off to the kitchen and so I called out, asking him where he stopped. He said he had to pick up something. I asked what, still not looked. He came back into the room, so I turned to face him. Instead, what I would see was this puppy sitting in the crook of his arm. OMG!

Ken had decided to go and get one of the pups after the party. He really did think the party was Saturday, but the fact that it wasn’t kind of made it even funnier. He picked the smallest girl, which was what we thought would be the best. He made an excellent choice.

The boys went to nap, which allowed Ken and I to sit with the pup a bit. She is quite sweet. Very mellow, aside from her constant mouthing, which I know is puppy-ness. She is only 2 months, had one set of shots so far. She has not been spayed yet, so we have to set that up. She shockingly didn’t whine the way I expected. Don’t get me wrong, pup can whine. We put her in a box while Ken and I hung out in the living room, and she howled. We ended up letting her wander the living room, where she passed out. It had been a big day for her!

We went through names. As much as we wanted the boys to help, we were only going to let them “help”. We wanted to come up with a list of pre approved names, and we would let them decide. I had Mabel in my head for a bit, but it had already been rejected by both boys. Kiera was a possibility, which Ken and I both liked. We started going through other Star Trek names, Star Wars, books like Princess Bride, etc. We then came to the land of Harry Potter, and Ken suggested Luna. LOVE IT! So it was between Kiera and Luna. But with the boys asleep, we had already settled on Luna. Dax woke up first, and we asked him if he liked the name, and he did. Bobby woke up not long after, and he too thought it was good. So it was decided. Luna was our new pup!

Lycos isn’t 100% on this new acquisition. She isn’t outright upset, but she isn’t happy. She had made it clear to Luna several times through bark that Luna is not the alpha, which is really what we wanted Lycos to do. We want Luna to be somewhat submissive. Lycos, though, has let Luna take a ball from her several times, so this looks like it will be an ok friendship after a little time.

The cats, though, are not as thrilled. IO and One10, as predicted, just steer clear. Both of them are veterans of our revolving door of animal and don’t bat an eye. Monarch was so unsure what to do. This is his first new housemate since his arrival. I always thought he was a big cat. Now expand his fur 10 fold, and that is how big he can get. Holy crap! He touched noses with Luna, and luckily there was no incident. Monarch ended up leaving, but you could tell Luna was not about to mess with him at this point.

Ittles, on the other hand, despite being nervous, has been the one to really approach Luna and smell her a few times. I don’t anticipate a long lasting friendship, as our cats just never have been dog lovers, but it was nice to see they were ok together.

Luna loves the boys. They played out back on Sunday and had a ball. At one point, Dax fell off the ladder and screamed out. I ran back and discovered Luna eating his hair. Luckily, it was not Luna that had upset him, it was just the fall.

Bobby seems more nervous about the mouthing. But I know that will go away soon.

We went on out first walk with Luna last night. The boys took their scooters, Ken had Lycos, and little Luna pulled at her leash like crazy with me, wanting so badly to keep up with the whole family. Seriously, I feel so happy about this whole little outing.

We did have to take her leave for a bit on Sunday. It gave Ken some time to bond with her, though, as he was showing up right as I was heading out.

I had made plans to meet my friend, Alyssa, for lunch on Sunday. I had not seen her in years, and she, her two munchkins and mine, were meeting at the Kettle, hers and my old stomping ground. She had a charity walk in the morning, we had bowling (yes, we went again this week). I didn’t know what time she would be done. So I didn’t eat.

I also didn’t let the boys eat much. I knew lunch was coming, so I wanted us to be hungry. I gave the boys a snack, and had not intended on napping them, since I knew the minute I put them down, they would not only fall asleep, they would have to get right back up. By the time it hit almost 11:45, they were so crazy, I had to put them down for at least some quiet time. Within 10 minutes, both boys were sound asleep. In fact, my whole house, aside from me, was asleep.

Luckily, Alyssa didn’t call until 1:30 or so. We decided to meet around 2:15 or 2:30. This gave me time to wake the children slowly, and get us there with time to spare.

We got there, and we waited in the outside waiting area. Dax was thirsty, and was having a diva moment as he laid, splayed out on the bench, hand to his forehead in toddler agony. It was funny, actually.

Alyssa showed up, and we all went in and proceeded to have a nice visit. The boys were pretty high strung, as it was a long time to make them sit. Especially since Alyssa’s son, Logan, is not much older and the three of them were fast friends. We decided that clearly they needed to come to Park Brenan soon.

One of the craziest things I was told at lunch was the Alyssa said that I am one of the most confident people she has ever met. No way! She said she has known me professionally and as a friend, and in both situations, I just ooze confidence. Mind you, she didn’t say ooze since she hates that word. I can understand work, since let’s face it, I am downright cocky at work. But as a person? As me? I had no idea since truly, she always intimidated me because of how strong she was. I take this as a huge compliment and I hope that I can find some of that confidence!

We got home and I let the boys loose in the yard, which was awesome for me and the dogs. Wow, I can now say I have boys, dogs and cats. Everything is plural now.

My weekend also consisted of some stress concerning my relationship with Brandy. I have not talked about it in my blogs, but since the only people who read this already know, it isn’t like I am breaking any news here.

A couple weeks ago, on the day of Ken’s reunion, I went online to Facebook to see that Brandy had responded to a question Ed had posted to her. I had also commented on the post, and was curious about the answer. Ed asked her how Vegans feel about breastfeeding. He was not trying to be a smart ass about it. He was curious. I posted that I assumed it was ok since it was all natural, but the question had merit. Sherri had commented on all of this saying we were “special”. I ignored it.

Brandy finally responded. She mostly commented saying where was the short bus when we needed it.

I was done.

Look, I know that Vegans are not all crazy. I know that their main reason for not eating meat or dairy is to protect animals, but I wasn’t sure if they wouldn’t prefer to keep babies from any kind of milk so that weaning them off of it would be easier as they got older. Not all vegans, but some may truly feel that way. I was really trying to ask a serious question.

Her comment sent me through the roof. Don’t make fun of serious questions. I thought that week we had been doing so much better. We were not bickering over differences of opinions, but really discussing them and conversing. It was awesome. Now, to basically shut me down on my question, I felt like she didn’t respect me in any way, shape or form.

I commented back. I said that it didn’t help her cause to recruit more people when she was going to mock serious inquires on their beliefs. I left it at that.

She proceeded to respond with saying she didn’t think Ed and I were actually considering becoming Vegans and that she didn’t get that memo. She also posted to my wall, If I have so much extra time on my hands, why don’t I go feed the homeless. She deleted it soon after, but I had already gotten the post on my phone.

Ken commented on the post a few times, and they I guess went back and forth. I don’t remember all that was said on that since I didn’t write it. I was getting ready for the fair. She sent me an email in FB, but I was still too pissed to respond.

I didn’t care for the lack of respect given to me asking a friend a real question. It felt like it negated years of friendship. Why in the world do I have to walk on eggshells around a friend? Why in the world do I need to ask 3 people before I say something for fear that she may take it wrong? I didn’t have an answer for this. I did know I needed to cool off before I could talk to her. I knew that I could go into some long email about why I was pissed, which would just lead to a bigger fight. So I chose to be silent. I should have probably said something sooner, but honestly, I didn’t know what to say.

She sent me emails all week, inquiring where I was. I didn’t answer. I know, super childish on my part. I was just so angry.

Finally, a few days into the week, she yelled at me. She said she had gotten more closure with Alex, she said it was interesting that while her cat has been sick he has been the supportive one and not me. It made me even angrier. No reason for digs like that.

I responded. I told her I was sorry to hear about her cat. I truly was. I also then told her I didn’t have anything to say to her right now because I was angry, disappointed, and frustrated with her. I said I had not words right now. And this was true. I really didn’t know what to say still.

She responded by telling me to fuck off.

An hour later, she emailed me again, continuing to yell at me. She said that Ed’s question was silly and she didn’t understand how I could be mad at her ignoring his question. Mind you, I wasn’t angry at her ignoring it. I am angry at her calling me an idiot for asking it.

She then suggested that my post back to her was accusing her of not taking her life decision seriously.

She then said, “Have I ever accused you of not taking something personal like MOTHERHOOD seriously? Like "how is it that you can spend so much time online and how are you interacting with your children while you are playing FB games?" not taking it seriously?”

I filed away the email and once again, stayed silent. I wasn’t going to continue this anymore.

I have thought long and hard about it since that email. There was more in it. Something about comparing me asking her about breast milk was the same as her asking me as a carnivore if I eat my own young. Awesome. They were childish quips. She was angry. I am angry. It was going to happen, which is why I opted to not respond. How would this help anything? It would not.

Honestly, I think I might have cooled off if I felt like she really cared that she had possibly done something to upset me. Not once did I get the impression that she was worried she had done something wrong. She did ask how I was. She asked where I was. But when I told her I was angry, instead of maybe saying, Ok, let’s work through this, I got the impression she was pissed at the very idea of me being pissed. Like I wasn’t allowed to have an opinion on the matter. Honestly, had she perhaps responded with maybe asking why I was mad, or saying she was there when I was ready to tell her, I probably would have responded right there and then. It would have diffused the whole thing. She said rude things to me. And yet she was mad at me.

What makes all of this so hard is this last week she has had the week from hell. Clorox, her rockin cat passed away. He car was broken into, and she has two other kitties who are sick. Not fun for anyone. I want to be there as a friend, but honestly, I don’t know that I can. I don’t feel like she appreciates the friendship. I feel like I clearly don’t give what she wants and that the stuff I give she thinks is lame. So why in the world should I bother?

But I have guilt. I have tremendous bad feelings like I need to push aside my hurt feelings to help someone, whether or not it means we will some day be little old ladies together going to the early bird special. It is the right thing to do. It isn’t pity. It is family. You do things for family even though they may tease you, or nag you or anger you to the point of wanting to kill them. But you still love them and you want them to be happy despite your own. So what is holding me back?

A few things, I think. One, I don’t think what she needs right now is to deal with the drama of us while she handles her own crappy week. Lord knows that is something that can wait. Another, is the fear that we will just come right back to this crossroad. It was probably a year ago that we did this same song and dance? Twice in one year, too. We are very different people, with a lot of similarities. We have a sorted history that not only draws us together, but pushes us apart.

Man, we both are fucking lame. LOL!

So I am stuck right now. I don’t anticipate she will read this, but I wouldn’t be shocked if she did. I don’t know if she would be angry or indifferent, or hell even ok with what I have written. I am not even sure I know what I want her to think about it. Hell, if she hates it, then it makes that decision for me. If it opens up dialogue, then I suppose then I have a little more interaction and it isn’t all my thoughts. For now, I am leaving it be. I know I need an apology. I know I need to know that she won’t just disregard my feelings. I will be glad to apologize if I think something I did was wrong. But for now, it is me who is needing a little back and forth.

Ok, new topic. This week clearly is going to be all kinds of good since Kevin Smith is guest hosting on Kevin and Bean. I love that! I love him and K&B, so what a fantastic treat for me. Now if people will just leave me alone from 5:30 to 10 every morning except in commercial breaks, I should be fine.

Luna apparently is staying inside today. We were going to give her a pinned in area in the back yard, but for now, she is inside. It is not for too long, and she went out this morning for a bit. When I get home, both dogs can then go outside and play since I will also pick up the boys. We need to go to the doc this afternoon, but other than that, we are pretty much on dog duty.

I have been here at work mainly writing a journal all day. Don’t get me wrong, I have done work, too, but ultimately is has been me doing this. I suppose I should do something else. But that is tomorrow. I had a lot to update.

I have to say, I am a little frustrated with the disapproving looks from my mom about the dog. I had not planned on telling them yet, but Bobby, all proud of his new pup, told my mom at bowling. She looked at me and asked me if the new pup he was speaking of was a real dog. I nodded and she looked annoyed. Look, I understand she doesn’t think all of my choices are ideal. Sure, we are not that financially secure, and getting an additional mouth to feed isn’t super responsible. But that being said, we seem to be fine. Sure, it may have been a bit impulsive, but shoot, my parents do stupid things all the time. I am not allowed to say anything about their stuff. Shoot, Matt at bowling continues to be crazy in front of my kids. God forbid I mention this to them without getting glared at. I think my dad should not nag me about Bobby’s hair, Dax’s hair, hell, Ken’s hair. Yet he does. I get constantly told that my choices aren’t always good, and frankly, it gets old. I don’t ask my parents for money. I hardly ask them to even watch the kids. I invite Matt to things despite wanting to kick his ass. I make sure they are involved all the time, yet I still get the look. It sounds like some bad romantic comedy or something where the girl always has to deal with her parents thinking she is going to screw up. I know I am not alone. I hear this from every friend I have. Their parents just kind of get down on them. And I know that realistically, I will end up doing the same thing to the boys for the rest of my life. I just need to suck it up and let them nag. I will take Luna tomorrow to meet them. I am telling them to be good. I don’t want to hear their negativity. The boys hear it, and truly, it doesn’t do much good for them to hear how their mother disappoints their grandparents since then it just undermines everything I do.

My day is almost over, now that it is just about noon. I have some net time ahead of me, and that should help my last couple hours fly by. Woohoo!

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