Groovy with gravy on top

3-11-10

We finally buried the dead.

The lizard, Sparky, died a little while ago. We planned on burying him when it happened, but things came up or weather happened that it just wasn’t possible. So he went into the freezer, which is a creepy Brenan tradition. They seem to have this habit of keeping their dead critters in the freezer for extended periods of time until they decide what kind of burial is appropriate. Trust me when I say it is in your best interest to never rummage through a Brenan freezer unless you know this.

The coffin was actually from a Brandy birthday party a couple years back. She had made these adorable little coffins for little key chains that she gave each of her guests. I still had them in my dresser and I remembered this when we were discussing what the lizard should be laid to rest in. It was creepy and perfect.

Since Sparky passed, we had 3 fish die, a tiny frog and if memory serves, another small lizard. All of them have now taken up residence in the coffin which was in the door of our freezer for way too long, sitting next to a popsicle and an ice pack.

Yesterday I finally was able to put them in the ground.

I dug the hole up in our front garden since I was pretty sure we have a couple of grave robbers in our backyard. Dax decided to not participate, but Bobby was present as we proceeded with the funeral.

Ken opened the casket for Bobby to say a few words. He told them he would miss them and said goodbye. Ken placed the coffin into the hole and Bobby was allowed to place the first scoop of dirt. Ken also added a little brick marker on there indicating where they were. It was nice. Not too overly dramatic, but simple so that Bobby could see. He was a little confused as to why we were burying them there instead of up at Grandma and Grandpas’s. I asked him why he felt they should go there and he explained that on the way up to their house there was the place where all the dead people are. He was referring to the beautiful cemetery that is on the road up to their house in Nevada City. I worry that perhaps I am rubbing off on my kid too much in his recollection of a cemetery compared to other things.

I am sure it would have been easier to have a burial at sea for the fish, but that always seemed awfully barbaric and rude to me. Also, I have memories of the fact that my father flushed my fish, Shkbunk, and Farble the frog down the toilet while I was in the hospital, but of course, not before he had peed on them.

I of course took pictures of the burial. I was trying to upload them and found that it was having problems. I couldn’t understand why it was having such a problem so I tried to run the updates. My computer politely told me I didn’t have enough space to download the updates needed for my computer. Crap. I had that much stuff on my computer. And when I say stuff, what I really mean is I have that many photos on my machine that my poor computer was tired. Luckily, Ken had a backup hard drive on the ready so I was able to move gobs of photos there for safe keeping instead of loading down my computer. The funniest part of this was the realization of how many pictures I moved. Ken calculated it out and found that I am probably taking on average 1000 pictures a month! Holy crap! Well, at least no one can say I am not thorough.

I was thrilled last night because of the return of one of my most happy making programs. 90210 was back with a bang this week! I got to watch the show last night while the boys took their bath. I was so happy. It is such a crappy show in so many ways, which is why I love it. I was especially jazzed when one of the main characters was sporting the same hair cut that I got! My cut is trendy! Of course, hers was blonde, but she can’t be perfect, right?

Ken painted my toenails last night so my feet no longer look like cheap hooker feet. It means that when I am wearing sandals, it is pretty again. I know, I know, I am not supposed to really be wearing sandals because of my ankle. I am wearing an ace bandage right now and that seems to really help. Plus, I don’t walk around much at work, so my sandals are good. Honest! When I am wearing boots and other shoes, I sometimes tense my feet, which leads to more pain. In the sandals, I am more relaxed.

I have zero motivation today to do anything productive. The boss is out today, which made me stand up and cheer! I have downloaded some crap to read and am sure I will take some time to find more so that I can just zone out in my little corner today.

This year they changed their reward system for being at my company for 10 years. For the last 5 years, it has been a $500 visa gift card. Of course, the freaking year I hit 10 years is the year they change over to you choosing something from a catalog. Not that I should be pissy. I mean, if I still have a job after 10 years, that is good and I should just be happy I am not on the unemployment line. My coworker, who started the same year as I did but in Feb just got her gift she chose. I got to see the “catalog” that I will get to choose from. There isn’t a lot of choices, but the choices are pretty cool. She picked a little purse that is very her. There was everything from a hiking style backpack to a nice clock. There was also an exercise trampoline, which of course I would have nothing to do with since trampolines apparently have it in for my boy. I did see a really pretty silver and black necklace which I think I will choose when my time comes in November. Hopefully they don’t change out the choices before then. The necklace, although pretty, is no where near worth $500. All of the items looked to be about $30 to $50 items. In reality, they don’t have to do anything for us. I got a nice watch when I hit 5 years. The creepy thing about that, was that the week of layoffs it stopped working. I feared the worst that since my MQ watch had stopped, perhaps my time was up. Thankfully, it was just a battery problem and my job was spared.

It turns out my good smelling diffuser has made the department happy. I may need to continue with this trend. I am going to be the Zen cube where people come to enjoy the pictures, smell the good aroma, and dance to the tunes. Yay! All I need now is a fish!

I just heard the new trailer on the radio for the new Twilight movie. Oh. My. God. It sounds like the worst acting ever!!!! When you can’t distinguish between the actors because they all sound exactly the same, girls and guys alike, that is BAD!!! I feel the need to watch them now just to laugh. Its like a Jane Goodall thing. I want to understand the masses. I don’t want to be them, I just like to know what I am up against.

Yay!!!! My shoes that broke came from Avon. The first time the pair broke, they got me a new pair. This second time, it has been a good 6 months since I got them, so I assumed that I was just SOL. Lucky for me, my Avon rep (a girl I work with) gladly got me a credit of like $15. So I was able to pick out a new pretty eyeliner with sparkly bits and a cool chain necklace! YAY!!!!

Hot Tub Time Machine. Nuff said. AWESOME!!

Oh my goodness! I am so excited!! Scott Michaels, who is the wonderful man who runs the Find a Death site remembers me!!! A few years back, we went to a Death Hag gathering. It wasn’t a lot of folks, but it was Ken, myself and Aaron along with a couple other hags. Scott was there, charming as I would have hoped. It was the day Katherine Hepburn passed. It was at this funny little bar in Hollywood with creepy clown pictures all over. It was a total dive. It was awesome! We chatted death and life and different things. I had just gotten my hair cut really short and I was all pleased with the look along with my slightly goth clothing. I also was easily the youngest person there. And the only chick. LOL! I showed a pic of the JFK bidet to Scott, which he loved and even posted on his site later. I hoped that I had made an impression on him and honestly, he was like a local celebrity to me that I would have loved to have been friends with. This was in 2003. I didn’t get to attend anymore gatherings because of timing or kids etc. Yet I still frequent the site. He now has Facebook so I friended him and wrote on his wall about the encounter. He wrote me back a private message apologizing to me because I guess I had asked about his t-shirt which had some English slang that I was not familiar with. He had said something back to me at the time and I really didn’t remember it. I also don’t remember it being rude or mean spirited in any way. He said he often thought of us and worried he had offended me. How cute is that????? I emailed him back and told him he was delightful and that he had nothing to apologize for at all. He even remembered the JFK bidet!! So exciting to me. YAY!

I feel shyness coming on. A girl from another department has been transferred to our department. It was a good idea since her job really more went with our department’s responsibilities. She is extremely nice and I have known her for years. Not well or anything, but on a professional level, I have always gotten along with her just fine. She is also close friends with coworkers I know well. How bad can she be, right? The problem is, I get comfortable when I know people so I can be more of myself. My two current neighbors know me and know everything from the fact that I talk to myself to my wacky sense of humor. This girl doesn’t know these quirks. I don’t know hers. I will get to know them, but when a situation like this occurs, I tend to shy into my box and I don’t come out for a while. If she was sitting farther away, I might be less weird about the whole thing. But something in my wacky job head makes me nervous that she is here.

My shyness is always hard to explain. Especially since to the casual observer, I seem pretty outgoing. I can’t tell you how many times people have told me that they don’t believe me when I say I am shy. What people who don’t know me don’t understand is that I just worry that people are not thrilled to see me. I worry they think I am annoying. I worry they just don’t get me, and that they don’t want to. I even have a hard time phoning friends I have known for years. If I talk to them a lot, it isn’t a big deal. But if it has been a while, I worry that they will not want to talk to me. When they call me, I am happy because they chose to talk to me. That is a big deal to me.

There are even times I am shy around Ken still. I get embarrassed about certain things and it takes a great deal of courage on my part to get past it. Mind you, this is a person I can pee in front of without thinking twice about it, yet other things might mess with me.

It is really probably bad that the net is so accessible to me. It is digital courage (only difference between that and liquid courage is that you can’t do the liquid stuff at work) that I lean too much on. I have had virtual slap downs with folks that I would not have in person. Yet even with this bravado, I have noticed recently that even the net is making me nervous.

I base way too much of my virtual self worth on comments made on my status postings. I am way more sad than I should be at the lack of consistent comments I used to get when my blog was on MySpace compared with blogspot. It is interesting that I get so influenced by things.

I am truly curious as to how long it is going to take for me to let down my guard here. With some people, I clicked with instantly. Penelope was one of those folks that I never felt odd around. With people like Tammy, I was a little nervous until I got to know her and then it was perfect! Man, do I miss her. And then there were people like head exploding girl that I worked with a fair amount, and then of course her head exploded, yet even now when she comes to visit, I feel off around her.

Only time will tell.

The boys get very annoyed at me when they are upset at something and I say, “It sucks to be you, Don’t it?” They always counter with, “I am not a donut, mom!” I of course enjoy saying it just to mess with them. So last night, I said “It sucks to be you, doesn’t it?” so that I wouldn’t upset them further. Of course, they both said, “Why aren’t we donuts anymore?” I just can’t win!

Ok, my last thoughts for today concern my birthday. It is exactly 3 months away, and I am being super bossy on this one since turning 35 seems monumental to me. Plus, I never ask for that much stuff for my birthday and people always ask me what I want. Well, this year, no one can say they didn’t know.

I will have a Build a Bear Party. I want as many people as possible. I also want them to being their kids. It should be fun for all. I would like to possibly go out for drinks later with some grownups.

I might need a tiara for my Build a Bear party. I have not decided yet.


I want something sparkly for my birthday. It doesn’t have to be expensive. I just like the idea of sparklies.

I want a Skeleanimals backpack that is a stuffed Dax. I posted it on my Facebook, so feel free to check it out.

I want an ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins with chocolate chip ice cream. It doesn’t matter what cake toppers, just as long as they are fun.

Please feel free to tell me just how pretty I am at my party. It is also acceptable for you to tell me that I don’t look 35, even if you are lying.

Ok, I think that covers it for now. As the day approaches, I am sure I will come up with more ideas. Parades are still always acceptable, but not necessary for this time. Especially since I think finding the juggling monkeys would be hard to do with this short of notice.