4-12-10
It was another good weekend!
On Saturday, I took the boys to my parents’ house so they could visit for a bit. My folks had been in Mexico for the week before, so they had not seen them in a little while. It was good since it allowed the boys to run around some.
On the way home, Stephanie texted me letting me know they were at the kite festival. So I swung by home and got Ken and our bag of kites and headed down to San Pedro. It was at this cute, new park. There were a good amount of people, all flying kites. Plenty of parking and we found Stephanie quickly. We spent the next few hours playing with kites, walking around the park and having a good time.
I had done one bad thing, though. Although the boys had some snacking and a later breakfast, we did not have lunch. Bobby had eaten some crackers at my parents’ house, but Dax had declined. This means poor Dax was struggling the last hour of the kite adventure. He was tired and hungry and didn’t know what to do with himself. He started to crash out on the way home. Luckily, he didn’t fall asleep and we got them home and fed.
Both of the boys were exhausted, and we ended up putting them to bed at 6:30. They were both out quickly. This was happy making for us grownups who were also tired. We ended up watching Inglorius Basterds, which was awesome. I had been wanting to watch that for a long time. Man, sometimes you forget how much Quentin loves blood.
I managed to re-jack up my ankle on Saturday, so I did not bowl, but Bobby and Ken did. Bobby really loves bowling. And he is doing better each week. Matt was a little annoying on Saturday when we visited and on Sunday, trying to pick a fight with me. I ended up having to tell him to piss off and stayed away from him. He did stupid shit like when I was asking Bobby what city he lived in (I quiz them a lot so that they remember) and of course he said Torrance. Matt then tells him he is wrong and said that he lives in Los Angeles. It isn’t easy to get kids to remember these tidbits of information, so f him for trying to derail my progress. Luckily, Bobby told him he was wrong moments before I told Matt to stay away from us on this. He picked similar fights a couple weeks ago when the boys were wearing their bandanas and he kept calling them do rags, which only pissed off Dax to no end.
Sunday was super productive after bowling, though. I cleaned the hell out of both boys’ rooms. Ken cleaned the kitchen and we got the laundry going. The boys both took naps, which was wonderful since it allowed Ken and I to hang out and watch Better Off Ted. So freaking funny.
I took a mini nap with Luna at my feet. That was super cool. Although, I do still have super Mommy Power since at one point I knew she had slinked over to chew on something, and sure enough, she had found a little plastic empty container of my eye drops. I got it out of her mouth quickly.
After naps, Ken headed out to his birthday party and the boys and I made cupcakes. Then, they played outside for several hours while I finished laundry, finished the kitchen including reorganizing my baking cupboard. I also made a kick ass dinner of BBQ chicken, teriyaki sauce, rice and corn. Yay me! I was putting it on the dinner table just as Ken pulled up. Talk about timing!
After dinner, we all went back outside to play some more. The boys had really been enjoying having Luna earlier. They played with her under their pool, which was cracking all three of them up. It was awesome. So we played catch with the boys, fetch with the dogs, and had a nice pleasant evening.
They went to bed at a good time and me, having polished off a bottle of wine was feeling, well, a little frisky. So Ken and I went to bed at 8. Normally we wait until the boys are more asleep to proceed with adult stuff, but both the kids seemed pretty settled. Clearly, they were not.
To put it frankly, I was too loud. Even with a pillow tying to drown it out, Bobby heard our activities. It isn’t like he hasn’t walked in on stuff, but normally, there is some warning, and you can hear his door open and we can scramble for cover. This time, I did not hear him. Ken did, thankfully, so he managed to hide some of the obvious parts. Poor kid, he asked me if I was hurt. LOL! Ken tucked him back in and he asked some questions, including stuff about having heard it before. This means there will need to be some new ways to describe what mommy and daddy do. I don’t want to “lie” but I certainly don’t want to give him the whole truth. So it will probably be described as mommy and daddy time. We will see if he brings it up again in the next couple days.
In all fairness, I was not embarrassed. I was more worried about his reaction. Trust me, this kid has seen me naked a million times and I don’t hide myself or act all body conscience around him. I don’t want him to ever develop an issue with it. But this is one of those topics that even though I like being open with my kid, it is hard to explain those things in a kid friendly way. He doesn’t need to be more confused. It is funny that this all corresponds with his recent requests for us having another baby. He told me he wished we had a baby. Super cute request, but not practical right now. A kitten would be way easier. Or maybe just some fish.
I read a story over the weekend about a woman who at 32 went to the hospital to have her triplets. Her husband was there and they must have done a C-section. There were some complications, one of which included them nicking her uterus, which caused massive amounts of blood loss. As if that wasn’t enough, she went into some kind of shock and her respirator stopped working, which caused her brain to be starved of oxygen for much to long. She was left paralyzed, unable to speak, unable to eat or drink on her own. This vibrant young woman who was about to embark on an incredible journey of motherhood unfortunately was now on a different trip all together. One of intensive rehab and therapy, all with the hopes to somehow improve her life if even a little bit.
While this is tragic, what I found most upsetting was her husband’s reaction in all of this. She did seem to respond to visits from loved ones and doesn’t seem to be in a state in which she is completely gone. Yet this man brought her children to see her only a couple of times, and after one year, he had already become engaged to another woman. He of course had every right to move on. It must be incredibly difficult to continue your life with someone who is not going to get better, and in reality, be a burden forever. But that being said, do you really act so cold as he proceeded to be? He found love so soon after his wife was sick. He refused to let these children know their mother. On top of that, when he requested full custody of the kids, he even requested child support from the woman who barely has enough money to cover medical costs. Her parents and brother are the ones who are at her side, yet the man who was supposed to be there in sickness and in health bailed and kicked her when she was down.
His argument to not let the kids see her was that of sparing them the trauma of seeing their mother hooked up to tubes. He also didn’t want them feeling guilt that their mom was like this because of child birth. The kids essentially caused this. Let me ask you this, though. Do you really think a 2 year old will feel those things? Don’t you think that had these kids been around their mom since day fucking one that they would know their mother, see their mother, and not give two cents about a tube or a reason? He says they can see her when they are older. Oh, good, shock them when they will have feelings of guilt or possible resentment. What has this man told them about their mom? Do they understand what is going on? Or is it just a mystery to them and they just go through life thinking mom died?
Look, I don’t mind the kids not being in her custody. Shoot, this seems like a no brainer. She can’t raise the kids when she can’t even raise her own head. That being said, she does have her mother and father who would want to be a part of these kids’ lives no matter what. Wouldn’t it be reasonable to say that custody would be split with them? That way they could spend time with their maternal family and get to know them?
I don’t know how I would react if something happened to Ken. But I do know this. His family will ALWAYS be a part of my boys’ life. If Ken is in a hospital bed, all hooked up to tubes and machines, I want the boys to still see him. And I know that I wouldn’t be out finding some other man to marry. Companionship is one thing, but is it something that you really seek out like that? Did he have no friends to lean on when he was hurting? No other family? Or even perhaps her family where they could grieve together? This isn’t a case of pulling the plug. This is what life is. Sometimes it is horrid and not fun, and as sucky as it is, you can’t always just run away.
I know, I have no frame of reference for this. Maybe I would be the one to run. But I would like to think that this isn’t the case. This guy seemed like a real asshole to me. Don’t you owe it to your children to not do this? Don’t you stand up and say, I love this woman, vegetable or not, and I am not leaving her side? Don’t you teach your kids that when you start something, you finish it, with grace and dignity? They were sucky cards that he was dealt, I will give him that, but I think he folded too soon.
Why do I feel the need to air type when I tell someone that I emailed them?
Dept meeting today to discuss the boat rocking I did last week. I am hoping that I fired up the rest of the department enough to really explain to the boss what we need to have happen. He seems interested in getting it resolved, too, so I am happy with this. Meetings are good, too, since let’s face it, it kills the rest of my day. It means I can get home all the sooner!
I am still torn on my birthday party. On one hand, I feel like I deserve to have a party. Sure, it is an odd party choice, but it is different and fun and it will probably turn out to be a lot of fun. I am even considering the idea of going to the location in Torrance instead of Anaheim and having everyone come back to our place for maybe BBQ and drinks and just hanging out. This would be pretty mellow and yet a lot of fun. The huge thing that is nagging me is the cost. Ken already budgeted money aside for me to do this. That is cool, but there are bills that we have that honestly, a silly bear party doesn’t seem like the responsible thing to do. Plus, we have a couple of trips coming up in the next 2 months, and it would be good to have some extra funds for those. At this point, it seems that I might be able to compromise and just invite folks to my house for BBQ. That wouldn’t be as expensive and I would still get a gathering. But even that seems extravagant. I am really leaning towards no party at this point.
Cost being the motivating factor for my recent change of heart, I think also this weekend I will trek down to the local beauty supply store (which is conveniently located next to the Dollar Tree by my house) and pick up some hair color to touch up the roots myself. I am not planning on doing anything to the red, so really this will not be an all over color. It will only be touch ups. Of course, depending on the cost, it may turn out to be cheaper to go the beauty college. I am used to paying $10 for hair color, so I am hoping the stuff I will get won’t be more than $20. But the school only charges like $35, so we will see.
Ok, I am done moping about money. I only depress myself when I do that.
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