Ever Wonder?

8-18-10




Happy Birthday my little feisty baby!



I am tired. I am tired of being this tired.



I also had some anxiety last night. Not sure what was causing it. I felt overwhelmed. I went into the pool with the dogs last night and just floated. It was so relaxing. I felt like nothing was bad in the world.



I had a good evening, too. We changed up story time to be a family event where all 4 of us sit in and listen to a story book. Ken will read one night, me the next night. We are reading Harry Potter right now. So far, it seems good for them. I sat on the floor with Dax and Luna while Ken and Bobby sat on the bed.



Yet even after all these relaxing, happy making things, I felt sad and stressed and wrong. I don’t know why.



I felt a desire to go on a walk last night, but my foot/heel has been killing me, so I thought this wasn’t a good idea. The pool certainly helped in the active part since perhaps that is what I feel like I am missing. My exercise endorphins are pissed because they feel cooped up. I wonder if I can do a little Wii when I get home.



I saw a girl the other day with a similar hair style to mine. She had the front half of her hair was a dark red. The rest was black. Although I don’t like the black part, I loved the red part. I have also seen a couple chicks recently with unnatural red hair. It looked like fun. I am considering it.



Project 365 starts today. I am going to take a picture of Dax a day for a year. I also have a desire to do a different Project 365. Not sure what that will be yet. Perhaps a happy making one. Just different things that day that end up making me happy. The only real problem is that I take a million pictures in general. One of these projects almost seems silly because I don’t let fun things pass me by. I take a picture. I just did a quick tally based on just what I have posted to Picasa, and I have taken well over 4000 pictures this year alone. Shoot, even taking out events like Ohio where, yes, I was taking more pictures than normal, that still leaves me at 3500 pictures from everything else! And I still have first days of school coming up, soccer games, a wedding reception, Halloween and Christmas! Maybe I just need to make sure to take some abstract photos.



I just used a glue stick to put a skull looking sticker/charm to my neck. It that weird?



Glue stick glue does not work on skin.



I have the idea. I am excited now. My project 365 that is not Dax related will be things that are who I am. Pictures of things that represent me. I have plenty of ideas and I think it will be fun. It is a rediscovery of what makes me Gena. Woo Hoo!



Kat Von D is awesome.



I hate that I feel like I am venting about anything bumming me out. Too many other people have far more problems and I feel selfish for possibly over shadowing their stuff.



Apparently, Bullseye the horse is rare. It was one of those toys that sold out quickly and is not available anywhere, unless of course I want to pay $150 for it. Look, Dax will live without the horse. Instead, I am considering just getting him Woody. His Woody is lacking in a hat, and boots (ok, he has them, but Dax managed to remove them to see if there was in fact a snake in them), and no voice. They have Woody dolls all over that talk and have a hat, so I think that will be fun. We got him a Super Why guy yesterday along with a Toy Story picture book. I think I will also pick up a pack of all the Toy Story characters for his cake.



I wonder if I can do the red color myself or if I should have it done.



I wonder if we should take Dax to McDonalds tonight.



I wonder if my pool will be warm again tonight.



I wonder if my dad will get anymore tattoos.



I wonder what happened to iTty.



I wonder why it is my boss seems to have so many problems with things.



I wonder why it is that people in America are so damn dumb.



I wonder what organ I will remove next.



I wonder why I never knew that part of the 12 Step Program had so much God lingo in it.



I wonder why it is that AT&T sucks on so many levels.



I wonder if I will ever have another child.



I wonder what will finally motivate me to be thin.



I wonder if I am a good enough friend.



I wonder if people find my blog interesting.



I wonder how many people read this.



I wonder if I am done.



I am. LOL!